Why do you/would you date outside your ‘race’?

[TrueToHair]

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[CarmelCupcake]

Boston Maria, what happened, if you don't mind me asking.

 

[Rae81]

I would say 5,6,8 it doesn't matter to me and since I want who god has for me I can't say I never would cuz that person could be ssomeone of another race. Also there are a lot of nice looking men of other races that have caught my eye lately

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[Detroit2Dallas]

Yeah, that's what WASP mean. Plain ole white.

@ plain ole white. why does that just tickle me so?

 

[HauteHippie]

Because I don't look at race as a cult that I have to remain exclusive to. I'm a human that is attracted to other humans LOL. If the one that I end up with happens to not be the same race that I am... so what. No matter who I date, I will always be proud to be black. Nothing could ever change that.

Well said. I love learning about cultures, but I don't look at race as a cult. I'm lucky that it's just not that serious to me.

 

[HauteHippie]

Gotta agree. Sometimes European men try to "warn" me about their loud, close knit families but I'm never scared. Usually, they're similar to my own family and it's really comfortable.

I think it's because we have similar culture. My husband's family is just like mine. They are very into family. Big dinners. Very supportive of each other. Both of our families work together for the good of the entire family. Like if my husband's niece starts acting out, she's move in with us until we can get her back on track. We all speak to each other 50-11 times a day on the phone. His family is the same. We are very family centered but despite how we look, we have the same upbringing.

As for WASP men, I have nothing in common with 'em besides being human, LOL. The culture seems cold and quiet. I do not mean to offend anyone but that is just my experience.

 

[Lucie]

@Lucie is WASP = white anglo saxton protestant?? I googled it and thats what came up but idk

Yep. That's what I meant.

 

[Renewed1]

No, I agree with your statement. Even my friends tell me that the average USA white guy would be boring to me and that I should date Euro men. Which is kinda hard, considering I live in USA. But hey God can do anything.

I'm not sure if Euro men are more acceptable of black women or not.

You know what's interesting, guys. I notice that a lot of black women who are married to white men, are married to white men who are from European countries such as Poland, Germany, etc., opposed to white men from the US. I wonder why. I wonder if it's because European white men aren't as biased towards black women as US white men. But who knows, I could be wrong.

 

[Rastafarai]

Yes, I'm open, mostly due to number 6. I sort of have a thing for South Asian men.

 

[Katherina]

I voted #5: It was not a preference, I just happened to fall for the guy despite our differences.

I prefer black men, but I will fall for a man of another race who is intelligent, kind, and attractive.

The first guy I actually liked in a more mature way is white. I don't think that has much to do with why I like WM today... it just happens.

I've had some bad encounters with black and white men but I don't discount a whole race of men because of those experiences.

 

[wednesday]

Because I don't look at race as a cult that I have to remain exclusive to. I'm a human that is attracted to other humans LOL. If the one that I end up with happens to not be the same race that I am... so what. No matter who I date, I will always be proud to be black. Nothing could ever change that.

Amen to that!

 

[lovely008]

i'm equal opportunity dater...i'm also equally awkward around guys of all races if i'm attracted to them.

 

[FlowerHair]

I'm an equal op girl, but all my longer relationships have been with other biracial men, so I guess that's my preference.

 

[anon123]

I have a preference for black, but it isn't so important that I wouldn't (and haven't) date someone else. Meaning if I build my ideal man in my head, he is black. But many traits I would put into my ideal man, well, I don't expect or require a single person in real life to have every one of them. It's just a preference, and other things are more important.

 

[BostonMaria]

Boston Maria, what happened, if you don't mind me asking.

CarmelCupcake I dated mostly white men in my 20's. I found that they all had a holier than thou attitude toward me. It was almost like they felt inferior in real life, but being around me they felt superior. If DH and I ever broke up (he's Puerto Rican) I would not date a white man. I'd just stick to my own. It's too much work.


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[Bun Mistress]

I have a perference. For an attractive, gentleman, with common sense, strong family values, and who knows how to treat a woman. A man that is respectful of me, my family, and my beliefs. A man that would not raise his voice, call me out of my name, and def not hit a woman. A man that is confident enough to love god, hold my hand in public, and tell his boys about me.

Color is the last screening requirement I'm looking at these days'm nothingn about what my childern will look like, I don't think I'd look better better and Lee Min Ho or Seth arm, and I have not only had bad dating experiencs with black men. Finding a man is hard enough and it doesn't get easier the older you get. I'm not going to limit myself but its my prerogative. People feel the way they do for their own personal reasons.

And no, no daddy issues here, I

 

[RegaLady]

@CarmelCupcake I dated mostly white men in my 20's. I found that they all had a holier than thou attitude toward me. It was almost like they felt inferior in real life, but being around me they felt superior. If DH and I ever broke up (he's Puerto Rican) I would not date a white man. I'd just stick to my own. It's too much work.


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Veryyyyy interesting! Splains alot.

 

[FlowerHair]

CarmelCupcake I dated mostly white men in my 20's. I found that they all had a holier than thou attitude toward me. It was almost like they felt inferior in real life, but being around me they felt superior. If DH and I ever broke up (he's Puerto Rican) I would not date a white man. I'd just stick to my own. It's too much work.


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One of my friends is going through that right now...her boyfriend told her (when he was drunk) that she should be grateful to him and yada yada because he obviously feels that she is "low class" (not true at all, she's just not Swedish) and he is too good for her etc.

My friend is E. Indian Guyanese from a good successful family. Now that her father died, her boyfriend's family didn't even bother to call her or send a card...nothing... Now she knows where she stands. erplexed

They've been together 6 years and live together.

 

[myronnie]

Idk but im kinda offended by this post..jeeze. Like really? Some people have deepseated issues.

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[Honey Bee]

@CarmelCupcake I dated mostly white men in my 20's. I found that they all had a holier than thou attitude toward me. It was almost like they felt inferior in real life, but being around me they felt superior. If DH and I ever broke up (he's Puerto Rican) I would not date a white man. I'd just stick to my own. It's too much work.

One of my friends is going through that right now...her boyfriend told her (when he was drunk) that she should be grateful to him and yada yada because he obviously feels that she is "low class" (not true at all, she's just not Swedish) and he is too good for her etc.

My friend is E. Indian Guyanese from a good successful family. Now that her father died, her boyfriend's family didn't even bother to call her or send a card...nothing... Now she knows where she stands. erplexed

They've been together 6 years and live together.

These kinda stories are why it never even occurred to me to seriously date someone 'outside my race.' As much as we like to think, oooh, it's just two people in love, etc, that just isn't true. Each person comes to the table a composite of their life experiences, including upbringing, which relates back to culture. If their culture, ie Swedish or white (American?), believes they're superior, that idea, whether they agree or not, is gonna be floating around in their minds causing all kinds of internal debates that the partner doesn't even know about. Then, one innocuous day, it just spurts out, and the partner realizes, wow, I didn't even know this was an issue! I'm sitting here picking out drapes and he's remembering a joke his granddad made about n******.

Nobody likes surprises in this arena. It's as bad as finding out your man was on the dl, like, wtf? I thought I knew you. No thanks.

 

[BostonMaria]

These kinda stories are why it never even occurred to me to seriously date someone 'outside my race.' As much as we like to think, oooh, it's just two people in love, etc, that just isn't true. Each person comes to the table a composite of their life experiences, including upbringing, which relates back to culture. If their culture, ie Swedish or white (American?), believes they're superior, that idea, whether they agree or not, is gonna be floating around in their minds causing all kinds of internal debates that the partner doesn't even know about. Then, one innocuous day, it just spurts out, and the partner realizes, wow, I didn't even know this was an issue! I'm sitting here picking out drapes and he's remembering a joke his granddad made about n******.

Nobody likes surprises in this arena. It's as bad as finding out your man was on the dl, like, wtf? I thought I knew you. No thanks.

I'm not against interracial relationships, just don't think it's for me. I've had ex-boyfriends say some really racist stuff about blacks and Hispanics. Just because they were with me didn't make them love my color or culture. I understand not every WM is like that.


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[CarmelCupcake]

I'm not against interracial relationships, just don't think it's for me. I've had ex-boyfriends say some really racist stuff about blacks and Hispanics. Just because they were with me didn't make them love my color or culture. I understand not every WM is like that.


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How could anyone even think to make racist comments when they are dating a black woman? Wow! shaking my head. What types of things would he say? If its too personal, I understand.

 

[azuquita_morena]

I am definitely a "6", an equal opportunity girl. I have only dated Latinos (of different nationalities) up until now, but I am open to dating men of any race/culture/ethnicity.

 

[TrueToHair]

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[SND411]

I'm sad to hear this. Not because I have high expectations human beings (LOL!), but because no woman should be treated like this. I never had problems like this out of the one white guy I dated (he's German). He was just too controlling in other areas, and I ultimately chose career over him. That can happen with any man. I actually felt more comfortable in Germany and Switzerland than I feel a lot of times in the United States.

I wonder if there is a way to tell that whether there is deep-seated racism BEFORE getting that serious (i.e. living with someone for years). The only thing similar I've heard from my friends was the African guy I mentioned in that other thread. His white girlfriend would say racist things while they were ....er, being intimate. But he was okay with it.......I guess it's different with black men than it is with black women.

Super diddly coontastic!

 

[qchelle]

I'm sad to hear this. Not because I have high expectations human beings (LOL!), but because no woman should be treated like this. I never had problems like this out of the one white guy I dated (he's German). He was just too controlling in other areas, and I ultimately chose career over him. That can happen with any man. I actually felt more comfortable in Germany and Switzerland than I feel a lot of times in the United States.

I wonder if there is a way to tell that whether there is deep-seated racism BEFORE getting that serious (i.e. living with someone for years). The only thing similar I've heard from my friends was the African guy I mentioned in that other thread. His white girlfriend would say racist things while they were ....er, being intimate. But he was okay with it.......I guess it's different with black men than it is with black women.

I'm so sorry for laughing but... can you please tell me what was said? Like wtf?!

 

[TrueToHair]

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[ScorpioBeauty09]

Yes, I'm open, mostly due to number 6. I sort of have a thing for South Asian men.

Me too!! Can't explain why, they just make me swoon. But I'd date any guy so long as he treats me right and we have that connection. As for black men, I'm physically attracted but feel there's something missing.

BTW, interracial doesn't just mean 'white', there are other races besides black and white. Also, some of the answer choices are offensive. Just because a BW dates interracially doesn't mean she has daddy issues or wants status or kids with lighter skin. How about she's seeing beyond race for the person inside?erplexed

 

[anon123]

Oh, I totally agree with you. This is the same African guy who won't date a black woman darker than Alicia Keys. But he went totally ballistic when I started dating the German. Self hatred/double standard much?



"Harder, n-word, harder..." I hope I didn't offend anyone.

WTH? Just too through. Actually, I'm mad she couldn't get more creative. If she had gone to a Montessori school as a child, she woulda had him do a jig with a spear before telling him to tear apart her &%%^ with his ^^% d*&^! Amateur!

 

[qchelle]

^^^