Spin-off : If You Hit Your Boyfriend/husband

[ChristmasCarol]

I've been married 23 years and have slapped DH on several occasions. *shrugs*
He seems to like it when I get riled up and physical, lol.
Always leads to great sex

To clarify, I did not "jump on him" like I wanted to fight. DH is super-athletic and I'm a skinny weakling. There is zero possibilty that I could ever hurt him without using a heavy object.

BTW, I used to try to slap my older brother, too (when I was a teen). He'd laugh and it would make me angrier. He was also an athlete and very physically fit.


That said, I've never had a physical confrontation with a girl/woman in my life.
#imalovernotafighter

 

[NOEChic]

I've been married 23 years and have slapped DH on several occasions. *shrugs* He seems to like it when I get riled up and physical, lol. Always leads to great sex To clarify, I did not "jump on him" like I wanted to fight. DH is super-athletic and I'm a skinny weakling. There is zero possibilty that I could ever hurt him without using a heavy object. BTW, I used to try to slap my older brother, too (when I was a teen). He'd laugh and it would make me angrier. He was also an athlete and very physically fit. That said, I've never had a physical confrontation with a girl/woman in my life. #imalovernotafighter

also an abuser. But that's none of my business.

 

[TayMac]

This is worse than a spanking/no spanking thread.

 

[LaBelleLL]

also an abuser. But that's none of my business.

What is that a picture of? Tea?

 

[NOEChic]

What is that a picture of? Tea?

yeah lol. It's good too!

 

[tru4reele]

yeah lol. It's good too!

Smdh lol...

 

[ChristmasCarol]

also an abuser. But that's none of my business.

Why so serious?

Works for me and the men who love me. Of course, they aren't Kangs and were raised traditionally - which means they make allowances for the weaker sex.

I had no idea that (lightly) slapping a man across the face was considered domestic abuse these days. I'll let DH and Big Brother know so they can get the help they need

 

[NOEChic]

Why so serious? Works for me and the men who love me. Of course, they aren't Kangs and were raised traditionally - which means they make allowances for the weaker sex. I had no idea that (lightly) slapping a man across the face was considered domestic abuse these days. I'll let DH and Big Brother know so they can get help

slapping him in his face?!?!? Wow!!!! I'll say the same thing to/about your husband that I would say to a woman getting abused. If you like it I love it. When you get tired of getting hit you'll leave. Not my problem or situation.

ETA: if you don't see your abusing your husband as serious, let's just say I feel sorry for some people.

 

[LaBelleLL]

Why so serious? Works for me and the men who love me. Of course, they aren't Kangs and were raised traditionally - which means they make allowances for the weaker sex. I had no idea that (lightly) slapping a man across the face was considered domestic abuse these days. I'll let DH and Big Brother know so they can get the help they need

Question - do you have sons?

If you do or did, would you be ok and laugh if he was lightly slapped across the face by his gf or wife?

 

[cherishlove]

If I get mad at my husband I hit his pockets and I think that's worse than hitting him physically.

 

[NOEChic]

My lil cousins wife went bat**** crazy before they got married and he mad the mistake of telling me. I wanted to beat the living **** outta her but he was like nah cuz, plus I'm in the military, I'm not trying to get in trouble. Ever since he told me that, I've been side eyeing the **** outta her and this was over 5 yrs ago.

 

[SuchaLady]

Pretty sure this what most of the posters in here are referring to. You just admitted to hitting your husband and thinking its cute.

Why so serious?

Works for me and the men who love me. Of course, they aren't Kangs and were raised traditionally - which means they make allowances for the weaker sex.

I had no idea that (lightly) slapping a man across the face was considered domestic abuse these days. I'll let DH and Big Brother know so they can get the help they need

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Is slapping a man that big of a deal to some women???

I honestly had no clue.

Could be generational...or something.

 

[NOEChic]

sipp100 if your husband came to you and said I never liked being hit can you stop, would you stop or start laughing and "lightly" hit him across the face, while saying quit playing?

 

[SuchaLady]

But if he slapped you, you'd be calling the press right? Where is the logic here?

Is slapping a man that big of a deal to some women??? I honestly had no clue. Could be generational...or something.

 

[NOEChic]

Is slapping a man that big of a deal to some women??? I honestly had no clue. Could be generational...or something.

thats abuse!!! How can you be so clueless?!?! If your husband lightly slapped you across the face would you stay and think it's not abuse or would you roll?

Eta: your are at least 41 if you got married at 18, you can't be this naive in your forties.

 

[FemmeFatale]

My lil cousins wife went bat**** crazy before they got married and he mad the mistake of telling me. I wanted to beat the living **** outta her but he was like nah cuz, plus I'm in the military, I'm not trying to get in trouble. Ever since he told me that, I've been side eyeing the **** outta her and this was over 5 yrs ago.

Obviously he isn't bothered if he still married her and they're still together.

 

[LaBelleLL]

Is slapping a man that big of a deal to some women???

I honestly had no clue.

Could be generational...or something.

i don't think just to women but to people in general. i'm astonished that you are laughing about it. you haven't answered my question about your sons and i'm wondering why.

i don't think it's generational. it's just that in your family, you don't respect your husband's physical integrity.

 

[NOEChic]

Obviously he isn't bothered if he still married her and they're still together.

thats fine but he is still my little baby cousin and I don't take too kindly to people putting their hands on him.

 

[LaBelleLL]

But if he slapped you, you'd be calling the press right? Where is the logic here?

....maybe not....

it seems as if to someone people, in some families, getting physical is just how they roll. slapping and hitting is the norm. go to hitting before you go to your words or other non-physical measures.

i wouldn't be surprised if this were the case.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Hmmmm I am curious how you would really know until you hit him? I have dated some mild mannered dudes, and I can assume/hope they wouldn't. But my personality isn't really like that anyway. But I really can't say what a person would do if provoked repeatedly and aggressively.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Question - do you have sons?

If you do or did, would you be ok and laugh if he was lightly slapped across the face by his gf or wife?

I have no sons, but I have married brothers. If they told me my SILs slapped them, I would certainly laugh! And then ask what he said or did to get that reaction. My SILs are not ratchet and I'm sure my brothers are not fearful. It would never cross my mind to be mad at my SILs - certainly not wanting to fight them!

Domestic abuse is a serious issue, but when you lump a small wife who slaps her husband (a few times in over two decades) in with people who are beating and making their spouses live in fear, you are diminishing the suffering REAL VICTIMS go through, IMO.

 

[Honey01]

It goes without saying I would never hit my husband in a random argument (heated or otherwise).

However, for the purpose of this thread...no my husband would not hit me back.

 

[DayStar]

Wow. Just wow.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Oh, and no, DH better not raise his hands to me. My brothers had better not hit their wives either! The allowance for slapping only goes one way. My brothers, older sister and I have never fought - not even as kids.

WHAT? Grown women will fight in the streets because their male relative was slapped?

 

[DayStar]

Blankstare. Is this real life?

Oh, and no, DH better not raise his hands to me. My brothers had better not hit their wives either! The allowance for slapping only goes one way. My brothers, older sister and I have never fought - not even as kids.

WHAT? Grown women will fight in the streets because their male relative was slapped?

 

[CurlyBuu]

I have no sons, but I have married brothers. If they told me my SILs slapped them, I would certainly laugh! And then ask what he said or did to get that reaction. My SILs are not ratchet and I'm sure my brothers are not fearful. It would never cross my mind to be mad at my SILs - certainly not wanting to fight them! Domestic abuse is a serious issue, but when you lump a small wife who slaps her husband (a few times in over two decades) in with people who are beating and making their spouses live in fear, you are diminishing the suffering REAL VICTIMS go through, IMO.

I totally see your point. I've dated fit, big guys and I've slapped and hit them throughout the years. Some even welcomed it because they knew it was a way for me to blow off steam (it didn't hurt them). Some thought it was cute and turned them on, others understood my anger and let me show my frustration that way.

Everyone is different and if people like that method, who are we to judge. I don't see myself as an abuser, but if that's what it's called than *shrug*. It's not my go to way to express anger but it gets the point across.

Is it for everyone? No, but couples know where to draw the line. Gender has to be talked about in this topic along with cultural differences.

A girl hitting a man vs a man hitting a girl is very different. It's all about context.

 

[SuchaLady]

I'm gonna go with trolling. She really thinks what she just said makes sense

Blankstare. Is this real life?

 

[LaBelleLL]

I totally see your point. I've dated fit, big guys and I've slapped and hit them throughout the years. Some even welcomed it because they knew it was a way for me to blow off steam (it didn't hurt them). Some thought it was cute and turned them on, others understood my anger and let me show my frustration that way.

Everyone is different and if people like that method, who are we to judge. I don't see myself as an abuser, but if that's what it's called than *shrug*. It's not my go to way to express anger but it gets the point across.

Is it for everyone? No, but couples know where to draw the line. Gender has to be talked about in this topic along with cultural differences.

A girl hitting a man vs a man hitting a girl is very different. It's all about context.

this is obvious and no one in this thread has indicated they disagree.

a woman hitting a man is still wrong however. this poster is laughing about it as if is nothing, when it's not.

 

[nubiennze]

*sigh* Lord have mercy.

The appropriate immediate response to a woman having been beaten/knocked out/dragged by a man is not "See women, this is why you shouldn't hit men."

The only way to "prevent" women suffering domestic abuse at the hands of men is for men not to abuse.

All women who are abused are not hitting men first (and regarding the ones who are, there is a such thing as disproportionate response). Implying otherwise whenever presented with indisputable evidence of male-on-female DV is a (clearly effective) diversion tactic.

Usually the party who emerges from such altercations bruised, bloody and/or unconscious is the one who lacks the capability to inflict such injury themselves. Acknowledging this is not encouraging women to batter men with no repercussions (seriously, who here has even suggested this?).

The following two statements are not mutually exclusive:

1. No one should hit anyone.
2. People with a capability to injure that greatly exceeds that of their "opponents" wield the additional responsibility of tempering their reactions to ensure that they don't over-respond in the heat of altercation.

Not sure why people are having such a hard time reconciling these POVs; they really aren't all that disparate. No need to corroborate our own abuse for the protection of men.