♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

I don't know How to feel about family anymore. I just feel it is just me and my daughter....no one else. I have no one to really talk to about How I feel or Who would understand. The only blood relative in my immediate family that cares about me is my brother. I feel so lost. How am I suppose to feel knowing my mother doesn't care about me or my daughter. How am I suppose to deal with this? I had to take a semester off nursing school because I was so stressed I started failing.

I have always been this independent person but How does one deal with basically having non caring parents? I have been through hell and back and I still let the lack of a relationship with my parents get to me. I spent Thanksgiving with my daughter in a diner. No invites from family. Sometimes I wonder maybe it is me and I am not seeing it. But then I remember How much I have done for my family and just realize it will never be enough. I feel for my daughter Who is too young to understand she is at most extra income for grandma. I just want to protect her from people like this. I can't wait to move away from my family. I just need to leave as soon as I finish nursing school.
 
snugglez41685 said:
I don't know How to feel about family anymore. I just feel it is just me and my daughter....no one else. I have no one to really talk to about How I feel or Who would understand. The only blood relative in my immediate family that cares about me is my brother. I feel so lost. How am I suppose to feel knowing my mother doesn't care about me or my daughter. How am I suppose to deal with this? I had to take a semester off nursing school because I was so stressed I started failing.

I have always been this independent person but How does one deal with basically having non caring parents? I have been through hell and back and I still let the lack of a relationship with my parents get to me. I spent Thanksgiving with my daughter in a diner. No invites from family. Sometimes I wonder maybe it is me and I am not seeing it. But then I remember How much I have done for my family and just realize it will never be enough. I feel for my daughter Who is too young to understand she is at most extra income for grandma. I just want to protect her from people like this. I can't wait to move away from my family. I just need to leave as soon as I finish nursing school.
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Stop trying to make things happen that won't happen. I have been there. If your family is continually a source of disappointment, make a family of yourself and your daughter. It's hard but it can be done. Don't keep going back to them hoping that they will be different, because they won't. Keep your eyes on your goal of finishing school and do just that. Come here and vent to us, ask for advice. I'd be more than happy to be a listening ear. Just keep praying for strength, and people will come into your life that WANT to be there and mean you good.
I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope this doesn't seem too harsh. I learned the hard way that you can't keep expecting a snake to be anything other than a snake...:bighug:
 
snugglez41685 said:
I don't know How to feel about family anymore. I just feel it is just me and my daughter....no one else. I have no one to really talk to about How I feel or Who would understand. The only blood relative in my immediate family that cares about me is my brother. I feel so lost. How am I suppose to feel knowing my mother doesn't care about me or my daughter. How am I suppose to deal with this? I had to take a semester off nursing school because I was so stressed I started failing.

I have always been this independent person but How does one deal with basically having non caring parents? I have been through hell and back and I still let the lack of a relationship with my parents get to me. I spent Thanksgiving with my daughter in a diner. No invites from family. Sometimes I wonder maybe it is me and I am not seeing it. But then I remember How much I have done for my family and just realize it will never be enough. I feel for my daughter Who is too young to understand she is at most extra income for grandma. I just want to protect her from people like this. I can't wait to move away from my family. I just need to leave as soon as I finish nursing school.
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Don't despair, hon. I, too, have a non-caring ABUSIVE parent (and I use that term loosely). I have put up with that female's mouth...often biting my tongue (sometimes not)...out of respect. Not to mention the physical abuse she condoned by her junkie (ex) husband. But after she made desparaging remarks about my special needs son, I reached my end. I have given myself permission to let go of that "unearned" respect and treat her like any other dog that doesn't know when to sit down and STFU. I don't know how old you are, but I am almost 50 and it has taken me many decades of her abuse and using me and spitting me out to finally be done. Trust, she does not treat her other children with the same hostility she treats me with. As children, somehow we are brainwashed to believe we innately "owe" these ppl who birth us something...respect, loyalty, love...whatever. Truth is...we DON'T OWE A HORRIBLE PARENT ANYTHING! If they don't lay down the foundation of unconditional love, we do not owe it to them to beat ourselves up over it.
You are now a grown woman with a child. It is time to move on. If your parents aren't giving you what you need, then let them be. Be the mother to your child that you wish you had. Quit worrying about your child missing out. She isn't. It is you and her against the world and there is nothing wrong with that. If you are young, you really need to understand that now before wasting decades of your life grieving over love you are never going to get. Set yourself free or, believe me, you will regret it and it will effect your relationship with your child.
Shoot, ain't nothing wrong having Thanksgiving in a diner with your daughter. I ordered out lasagna. lol
 
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So, I just found out today that the delusional county worker who reported me to CPS (any allegations were completely unfounded, btw), no longer has her job. Honestly, she was the quickest turnover I've ever seen! I hope it had something to do with me reporting her to her supervisor for her reckless accusations...and the severe cold shoulder I gave her last time we met.
 
Hey strangers!!!! Poping my head in to say hello.

My 3 have been keeping me busy along with my own things, some days I wonder how I sleep, lol In short my oldest two ds and dd#1 are in college. DS is home going to community college and working. DD#1 is 2 hours away in college. DD#2 is junior in hs. Her job ended about three weeks ago so I am no longer driving two kids to work only one. I seriously have to get my oldest two driving b/c I AM TIRED!!

I am still working FT and trying to get my business of the ground also. It is my plan to be working 32 hours at my FT job in 2016 (so I can keep my benefits) and the rest of the time on my business until I leave my FT job in 2017. My youngest will be graduating HS in 2017 so I will be transitioning from FT mom/exployee to PT Mom and FT Employer of my own.

To those that have special family, know that you arent alone and I agree we have each other. I learned a long time ago that its my Js and me. Thanksgiving that is who I spent it with. I just don't have the energy to be around toxic folks. I love my sanity much more than to deal with someone else's 20+ years of baggage that they don't want to deal with.

Hugs and Have a great weekend!!!
 
It's intermission time at Frosty the Snowman and I have to say I'm not sure how I feel about this. The only black person in the play is Frosty...a magical, Morgan Freemanesque person. I'm just going to keep sipping this Malbec and let my son enjoy it.
 
quirkydimples said:
It's intermission time at Frosty the Snowman and I have to say I'm not sure how I feel about this. The only black person in the play is Frosty...a magical, Morgan Freemanesque person. I'm just going to keep sipping this Malbec and let my son enjoy it.
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Isn't Frosty normally an all white entity? Be glad a brother is working!
 
quirkydimples said:
Good point! I was just hoping one of the 10 kids on stage was brown, too. My son enjoyed it, so that's all that matters.
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You know, a LOT of times kids of color don't get cast because:
1) They don't show up for auditions. You MUST try out for a show if you want to be in it.
2) Lack of talent. No casting director is doing anyone a favor by casting ppl based on skin color if they have no talent to back it up.
3) Was this an Equity show? Equity actors MUST pay dues. Sometimes those dues are cost prohibitive for ppl in the community who cannot afford them.

You know, growing up, I was frustrated with the lack of black faces I saw on stage and screen, so I became an actress. Now my brown-self is often cast in roles not originally written with people like me in mind, like The Wizard of Oz. If I say so myself, I was one of the best durn Wicked Witches to ever melt on a community theater stage.

I'm glad your son liked the show. Frosty used to be one of my favs as a kid and I used to cry every time he melted. Maybe your son would be interested in doing theater?
 
IronButterfly said:
You know, a LOT of times kids of color don't get cast because:
1) They don't show up for auditions. You MUST try out for a show if you want to be in it.
2) Lack of talent. No casting director is doing anyone a favor by casting ppl based on skin color if they have no talent to back it up.
3) Was this an Equity show? Equity actors MUST pay dues. Sometimes those dues are cost prohibitive for ppl in the community who cannot afford them.

You know, growing up, I was frustrated with the lack of black faces I saw on stage and screen, so I became an actress. Now my brown-self is often cast in roles not originally written with people like me in mind, like The Wizard of Oz. If I say so myself, I was one of the best durn Wicked Witches to ever melt on a community theater stage.

I'm glad your son liked the show. Frosty used to be one of my favs as a kid and I used to cry every time he melted. Maybe your son would be interested in doing theater?
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He cried when Frosty melted, too!

I know and agree with all your points. I'm not looking for tokens.

And, I had already planned to sign my son up for acting classes. He attended a music and dance preschool, and although he did well with his lines, he needs a little more maturity before we try that again. I think he'll do well once he gets a better handle on his emotions. There's a program in the area called Drama Kids and I may give it a go this summer.

That's awesome that you made it happen for yourself! I love to see people find their passion and actively pursue it; it gives me an extra jolt when I'm feeling uninspired.
 
Ok. I want to share something I think is funny. Hopefully you find it funny (cute), too.
Anyone ever hear of "Odd Squad"? It's like a kids' version of Men in Black.
My son watches it on his Ipad...thus he has control over re-playing scenes over and over.
This week one of his favorite scenes is from "Odd Squad".

This is a scene between Chief (this little girl could easily be North West's older sister; she's about 9 yrs old), and Santa.

Chief: Hey Red. I've been meaning to meet with you, but I've been so busy. You can give me my present now.

Santa: Uh...I've been meaning to talk to you about that.

Chief: What is it? Give it to me straight, Pringle.

Santa: You've made it to my naughty list this year.

Chief: What? How did that happen?

Santa: Well, there's this little matter of you raising your voice...

Chief (screaming): WHEN HAVE I EVER RAISED MY VOICE???????

My son cracks up at that part every time. I mean, he is rolling. So I started laughing because he's cracking me up. This morning during our morning ritual he starts the scene. I recognize it and look up at him. He is already looking at me with this sly grin on his face....as if to say "Are you ready for this?" lol Of course we both start giggling.
I don't know what I'd do without this kid. lol

Ok. I paraphrased, so here's the video...heeheee...
http://www.pbslearningmedia.org/res...d000c6a65/ms-o-naughty-or-nice-the-odd-squad/
 
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Ladies, how can you tell when your kid(s) are tired? For me, my sour patch kid's eyes get really big and he acts really silly to the point that I have to redirect him. Then I tell him to go rest his body cause he's tired lol
 
whosthatcurl said:
Ladies, how can you tell when your kid(s) are tired? For me, my sour patch kid's eyes get really big and he acts really silly to the point that I have to redirect him. Then I tell him to go rest his body cause he's tired lol
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Yea mine has always fought her tired. As she gets more and more tired, she gets more and more wound up. Once her ignorant relative exclaimed that she's hyperactive. I said no, thats fatigue :lol: she was shocked and assumed hyperactivity with her own kids (who were wild) but now guesses they were over tired. Duh. They would be. Let a 2 yr old stay up to midnight errrnight and see if you dont have problems :rolleyes: why I never let her babysit especially overnight. Id be picking up a monster in the morning !
 
Coming up on Tink's first Christmas and her dad will be away, he might be released early though. Its sad, but we have a lot planned for her. My parents have been going above and beyond for us, I am so grateful.

His parents do their share financially since they live states away. They sent me $4,000 to help out and said to let them know if we need any other help.

I just don't want it to be that they are financially helpful, but don't attempt to be there in other ways.
 
curlyTisME said:
Coming up on Tink's first Christmas and her dad will be away, he might be released early though. Its sad, but we have a lot planned for her. My parents have been going above and beyond for us, I am so grateful.

His parents do their share financially since they live states away. They sent me $4,000 to help out and said to let them know if we need any other help.

I just don't want it to be that they are financially helpful, but don't attempt to be there in other ways.
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Well if they are so far away what else can they do? Shoot, don't look a gift horse in the mouth! I'm sure that was a great help to you during this time. I wish.

DS#2's senior portraits came back :cry2: My baby is grown. I can't believe it. I'm really in awe of how far he's come.
 
curlyTisME said:
His parents do their share financially since they live states away. They sent me $4,000 to help out and said to let them know if we need any other help.

I just don't want it to be that they are financially helpful, but don't attempt to be there in other ways.
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sorry you and your baby will miss her dad on her first Christmas. However... wow. His parents stepping up like that. My own family hasn't given us one thin dime---ans she about to be 10. And they had the means to do so. Like @crlsweetie912 says, dont look a gift horse in the mouth! Wowoee!
crlsweetie912 said:
Well if they are so far away what else can they do? Shoot, don't look a gift horse in the mouth! I'm sure that was a great help to you during this time. I wish.

DS#2's senior portraits came back :cry2: My baby is grown. I can't believe it. I'm really in awe of how far he's come.
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Hes come a long way with YOUR guidance! Congrats, mom! :)
 
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