♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

Ok, I think I am kind of the odd man (lady) out in this thread, but I need yall advice.
I just got reamed for "coddling" my 12 year old son.
He wants to ride the bus to school and I told him heck no. We live in Baltimore City. He would have to take at least 2 buses and he has to be to school pretty early. I see no need. His school is right on my way to work and I don't think it's safe. His school isn't in the best area (understatement) But the school is AMAZING. It's a private catholic school so no school bus.
Am I crazy?
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Ok, I think I am kind of the odd man (lady) out in this thread, but I need yall advice.
I just got reamed for "coddling" my 12 year old son.
He wants to ride the bus to school and I told him heck no. We live in Baltimore City. He would have to take at least 2 buses and he has to be to school pretty early. I see no need. His school is right on my way to work and I don't think it's safe. His school isn't in the best area (understatement) But the school is AMAZING. It's a private catholic school so no school bus.
Am I crazy?
Click to expand...

Are there other kids who take the bus? Is there a class/school mate who lives nearby and goes the same way?

I'm not a parent, but I'm in NYC and started commuting to school when I was 10/11. I took the train all by myself. I went straight to school and back, no issues. I didn't have a commuting buddy on the way in, but the train was full of students from other schools. I did ride with neighborhood friends on the way back though.

Can you let him ride by himself sometimes just to see how it works out?
 
keyawarren said:
Are there other kids who take the bus? Is there a class/school mate who lives nearby and goes the same way?

I'm not a parent, but I'm in NYC and started commuting to school when I was 10/11. I took the train all by myself. I went straight to school and back, no issues. I didn't have a commuting buddy on the way in, but the train was full of students from other schools. I did ride with neighborhood friends on the way back though.

Can you let him ride by himself sometimes just to see how it works out?
Click to expand...
Thanks for taking the time to respond. Since this is a private school I don't know of anyone in our area. I can check though. I was planning on allowing him next year. He would be in 8th grade then. It's just the areas he would go through. I will seriously begin thinking about it.
ETA:
Most of the students in his school who ride the bus are 8th graders. And still most of their parents drop off/pick up.
Also did you have to ride the bus because of no other alternative?
 
Straight up: is he responsible enough for such an under taking? Is he easiy influenced, distracted, led astray, talked into stuff? A situation like this not only depends on the area but the kid too.

At 13 I had to take 2-3 (if i missed the 2nd then it was 3 buses!ugh) busses from the hood. And i mean HOOD to an upper middle class area, then back home to the HOOD. It was in the 80s but the hood ain't changed. I was a girl getting to school in warring gun toting gang territory.

I was bothered sometimes but knew to duck into stores, stay in the crowd and on busses sat behind or in eyesight of the driver. Did that all of middle school.

Getting through the hood in early morning was non issue. Wasn't nobody out thuggin at 630am. There was no dallying after school. Had to get that first bus and be in my area before 5 (esp on a friday or on the 1st :rolleyes:) just before it started up.

I survived it 3 years. Gave me tons of street smarts. But not everyone could have dealt with that. If you know he isnt ready, no harm in seeing where hes at next year....



crlsweetie912 said:
Ok, I think I am kind of the odd man (lady) out in this thread, but I need yall advice.
I just got reamed for "coddling" my 12 year old son.
He wants to ride the bus to school and I told him heck no. We live in Baltimore City. He would have to take at least 2 buses and he has to be to school pretty early. I see no need. His school is right on my way to work and I don't think it's safe. His school isn't in the best area (understatement) But the school is AMAZING. It's a private catholic school so no school bus.
Am I crazy?
Click to expand...
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Ok, I think I am kind of the odd man (lady) out in this thread, but I need yall advice.
I just got reamed for "coddling" my 12 year old son.
He wants to ride the bus to school and I told him heck no. We live in Baltimore City. He would have to take at least 2 buses and he has to be to school pretty early. I see no need. His school is right on my way to work and I don't think it's safe. His school isn't in the best area (understatement) But the school is AMAZING. It's a private catholic school so no school bus.
Am I crazy?
Click to expand...
There's nothing crazy about this. Why subject your son to unnecessary dangers? He will have plenty of time to negotiate the streets when he gets older. I won't even let my son ride the school bus and the school is literally 6 minutes away. Ask whoever "reamed" you what they are going to do if something happens to your son while enroute on the bus besides offering up a worthless condonelescence? (yeah i know that's all kinds of ways misspelled, but I;m too tired to cur.)
 
@crlsweetie912 I think you are doing the right thing. 12 is still very young. You as an adult and mother know and understand the neighborhoods he'd have to navigate. Trust yourself. You know best. Better to err on the side of caution IMO. Especially when it comes to our children. And I'm not sure if it's about his maturity or street smarts. All of that only matters so much if he is put in an unnecessarily unsafe situation. And without a companion to walk/travel with it's even scarier. As adults we are supposed to keep ourselves and our children out of harm's way as best we can.
 
There are some advantages to having a "crazy baby". I took my son to Ihop for breakfast and he had a monumental melt down as soon as we got through the door. Screaming!!! Crying!!!! Hitting!!! Seemed like 20 minutes he just carried on while we waited in the lobby for a free table. He didn't want his Ipad or any milk. Waitress talking about, "Can I help you out?" I don't know why ppl do that? What could they possible do that I can't do??? So, finally, he started to wind down and we counted numbers...all the way to 100...before he finally settled down and started smiling again. We were escorted to our table and ate breakfast without a hitch.

Then I asked the waiter for the bill only to find out someone else had paid it! lol I'm used to my son's flare ups, but I imagine to an onlooker his episodes proly seem quite psychotic. I ain't mad though. Now I got some extra money for some more nail polish or hair conditioner. lol It pays to have a crazy baby some times. lol
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Ok, I think I am kind of the odd man (lady) out in this thread, but I need yall advice.
I just got reamed for "coddling" my 12 year old son.
He wants to ride the bus to school and I told him heck no. We live in Baltimore City. He would have to take at least 2 buses and he has to be to school pretty early. I see no need. His school is right on my way to work and I don't think it's safe. His school isn't in the best area (understatement) But the school is AMAZING. It's a private catholic school so no school bus.
Am I crazy?
Click to expand...
Kids in Chicago take the bus to school and nobody bats an eye. It's just a way of life. Now since its on your way, I see no problem with you taking him. But I think he does need to learn how to take public transportation, and how to find his way home. I used to take the bus to the mall with my friends instead of begging my parents to take us. The world hasn't changed as far as safety. We are just exposed to more. He needs to learn, but it doesn't have to be doing the school day. I need my kids to know how to handle themselves. How to make decisions, and how to get around. Remember we are raising these children to be productive, self efficient adults.
 
hopeful said:
@crlsweetie912 I think you are doing the right thing. 12 is still very young. You as an adult and mother know and understand the neighborhoods he'd have to navigate. Trust yourself. You know best. Better to err on the side of caution IMO. Especially when it comes to our children. And I'm not sure if it's about his maturity or street smarts. All of that only matters so much if he is put in an unnecessarily unsafe situation. And without a companion to walk/travel with it's even scarier. As adults we are supposed to keep ourselves and our children out of harm's way as best we can.
Click to expand...
yeah he has NO street smarts! But he does need to get some awareness. I would never put him in any unsafe situations. I just feel like if he HAD to catch the bus it would be different. My middle son is 17 and he catches the bus to school (this is my son who has had developmental delays) And he still tells me stories about the bus rides and I cringe. But because of his school start time and my work start I have no choice but to let him ride the bus. But one thing he knows, if stuff starts getting iffy.....GET OFF THE BUS! :lachen:
 
I really admire you ladies that have multiple offspring. I have one and I'm ready to beat my head against the wall sometimes. When people ask me when am I having another child, I tell them "I can't afford to" :lachen:I'll be starting school part-time in January so this should be interesting, since I virtually have no help with pick-ups, drop-offs and every other aspect. This is a jumbled and random post so my apologies. I had to put it somewhere lol.
 
whosthatcurl said:
I really admire you ladies that have multiple offspring. I have one and I'm ready to beat my head against the wall sometimes. When people ask me when am I having another child, I tell them "I can't afford to" :lachen:I'll be starting school part-time in January so this should be interesting, since I virtually have no help with pick-ups, drop-offs and every other aspect. This is a jumbled and random post so my apologies. I had to put it somewhere lol.
Click to expand...
One thing I learned is that it will all work itself out. Someway somehow. I got through all of them being at different schools twice during their "school age" years. Talk about :cry::hammer::guiness::pullhair:
 
Social services has no regard for human life. Told them Monday about past DV with my daughter's father and to remove my address from the child support court order and guess What? My info is all over those pages. Ridiculous! Now if he finds us only God knows What kind up antics and tricks he may try. So pissed!
 
DarkJoy said:
Omg. Been half awake all night. Tossing and turning with some of the worst cramps in a long time. I got 8 sick days left for the year. Its use em or lose em, so....

Imma drop dd off at school and just lay up. Probably work A LITTLE from home but these cramps are kicking my ass. Ugh.
Click to expand...

Dammit. They need to fix these glitches.

Raw garlic helped with my cramps. My pms used to be sooo bad that I could only drink soup the first couple of days of my period (I get indigestion and ibs). Adding raw garlic and cayenne reduced the cramps (sometimes down to 0) and bloating.
 
aww thank you for the remedy! You know I love me some natural cures.

I normally drink certain herbs to keep it under controlbut its been so hectic lately i clean forgot. Well I done learned my lesson!

keyawarren said:
Dammit. They need to fix these glitches.

Raw garlic helped with my cramps. My pms used to be sooo bad that I could only drink soup the first couple of days of my period (I get indigestion and ibs). Adding raw garlic and cayenne reduced the cramps (sometimes down to 0) and bloating.
Click to expand...
 
snugglez41685 said:
Social services has no regard for human life. Told them Monday about past DV with my daughter's father and to remove my address from the child support court order and guess What? My info is all over those pages. Ridiculous! Now if he finds us only God knows What kind up antics and tricks he may try. So pissed!
Click to expand...
Call the state's attorney's office!
 
DarkJoy said:
Yikes! Sorry about that @curlyTisME. What a blow to the family. How's your support circle?

Wishing your family the best.
Click to expand...

Thank you for expressing your sympathy.

Luckily our support system is amazing. My mom and dad, as well as his parents have been beyond helpful. My sisters and their husbands have been as well. He's an only child so he doesn't have siblings, but we are doing just fine. Friends and family have all offered support if we need it. His frat brothers are in constant contact with me and constantly ask about our daughter and if she needs anything. Baby girl is surrounded with love and affection so I don't think she will be negatively impacted, especially since she's young.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Ok, I think I am kind of the odd man (lady) out in this thread, but I need yall advice.
I just got reamed for "coddling" my 12 year old son.
He wants to ride the bus to school and I told him heck no. We live in Baltimore City. He would have to take at least 2 buses and he has to be to school pretty early. I see no need. His school is right on my way to work and I don't think it's safe. His school isn't in the best area (understatement) But the school is AMAZING. It's a private catholic school so no school bus.
Am I crazy?
Click to expand...


I know nothing about Baltimore City, but I grew up in urban Atlanta. Started taking the bus at 11, 6th grade. NO issues. I think it depends on how you feel about your child's level of maturity. Do you think he will have any issues going straight to school and back home? Does he have a cell phone? Ride the bus with him one day so you can point out all details to him...emergency police phones, who to contact,where to go if lost. I did this for my children at a young age. I personally think 12 is old enough, but only you can be the true judge of your particular circumstance. Either way, I would teach him how to use public transportation in case of an emergency, or you get caught up on day, being that the school has no transportation, and make sure he has an emergency bus pass.
 
My single motherhood has just been revolutionized by a grocery app!! they went to my favorite health food store, bought my stuff and its waiting for me to get home from work!! Same day!!!!

How much time will I be saved! Maybe I will even have time to date instead of running around the known universe on weekends for food:grin:

Im saaaaaaved!
jnJtWHO.gif
 
Lawd. Took 2.5 hrs to drive in to work! Then I got sick at work. I leave early and get dd. This chile gone learn what a real whipping is if she dont just SIT DOWN and stop popping out her seat to whip nae nae all in my dining room!!! :pullhair:

Ugh and her father :nono: he getting real buck. We about to have another come to Jesus moment
 
DarkJoy said:
Lawd. Took 2.5 hrs to drive in to work! Then I got sick at work. I leave early and get dd. This chile gone learn what a real whipping is if she dont just SIT DOWN and stop popping out her seat to whip nae nae all in my dining room!!! :pullhair:

Ugh and her father :nono: he getting real buck. We about to have another come to Jesus moment
Click to expand...
My son is forbidden to sing that daggone song. I've been whipped and nae-nae'd to within an inch of my life.
 
Hey mummies. I have read through some of the thread and would like to join you ladies.

I'm a single mother of a 10 year old boy who looks like he has SEN (special educational needs). Are there any mothers who have children who are on the Autistic spectrum?

My son has not been diagnosed with anything as yet, but the SEN coordinator is leaning towards ASD.

The support from school has been very good but we've had some really challenging years where I had none.

I just wanted to know what your experience was with dealing with your child without having a diagnosis and the school. How quickly did you got a diagnosis when you realised there was issues with your child?

It's been an 8 year battle tp get whete we are now. Finally,after the school got involved we're starting to see some progress.

How have you been able to deal with the stress? Do you have any support? I only have my mum and I don't have many friends who I can discuss this with as I feel embarrassed about it.

Apologies for the long post.
 
NefertariBlu said:
Hey mummies. I have read through some of the thread and would like to join you ladies.

I'm a single mother of a 10 year old boy who looks like he has SEN (special educational needs). Are there any mothers who have children who are on the Autistic spectrum?

My son has not been diagnosed with anything as yet, but the SEN coordinator is leaning towards ASD.

The support from school has been very good but we've had some really challenging years where I had none.

I just wanted to know what your experience was with dealing with your child without having a diagnosis and the school. How quickly did you got a diagnosis when you realised there was issues with your child?

It's been an 8 year battle tp get whete we are now. Finally,after the school got involved we're starting to see some progress.

How have you been able to deal with the stress? Do you have any support? I only have my mum and I don't have many friends who I can discuss this with as I feel embarrassed about it.

Apologies for the long post.
Click to expand...
Welcome to the thread, @NefertariBlu! I've no assistance to offer you, but I'm sure one of the other ladies can chime in to help. Many aspects of being a single mom can be challenging and we are all here to support each other. So, hello, hola, howYOUdoin' and welcome!
 
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