♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

Dd is doing really annoying things.

1. At a stage where she needs every step of,f a given task spelled out. Eg, ok grab the broom. sweep. What u gonna sweep it into? Well get the dust pan, then. So you just gonna let it fling all over the floor? Hold it with one hand! :pullhair:

I just started walking away and letting her figure it out. Sometimes I think she does it on purpose to watch me :burnup::nono: she has admitted to doing such in the past to watch me blow my stack:look:. Ppl think she cute and sweet but I warn them :angeldevil:

2. She starting to eat everything not tied down. From a picky eater to a vacuum with no notice. Its getting very expensive to feed her almost tweeny behind.
 
DarkJoy said:
Wow @IronButterfly! Glad you and your ds got they that ordeal ok! Sounds like an extreme idea. Hope you're all better. :bighug:
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All better, ma'am. Thank you! You know, the funny thing through it all was the only thing I could think of was my kid. He needed to be cathed and while I was in the throes of hyperventilating and shaking, all I could think about was getting those folks out of the room so I could cath that little boy. He was sitting in his chair just looking all wide-eyed at all the ppl fussing over me. Then a little voice said, Girl, shut up! That cathing can wait until you get to the hospital. Sheeesh! lol I even told the paramedic to wait on taking me to the hospital until they confirmed my kid could get some food there! I was like, we are NOT:nono2: going to the hospital if he can't eat! lol
 
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My kid's appetite has picked up, too! His ability to chew is getting better, not great, but he does kinda grind the food now before swallowing it whole. I'd say at six he has the eating ability of a 1 year old. He sucking on crackers now. Just discovered this week that he likes smoked salmon and salami. Yay!:toocool: Cuz I like that stuff too. Boo!:cry3: Cuz now I gotta share it. But it's great to see him eat something besides yogurt for lunch. He's finally gotten over the horror:barf: of picking food up with his fingers, which is great, so now I don't have to finger feed him myself. Now if I can just get him to eat some fruit...:yay:
 
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@IronButterfly Well I was on my way to the clinic to make an appointment since I prefer to go in person to make my appointments. I'm running for the bus and I catch it and get on. The bus is crowded but I finally snag a seat and sit down to call my mom. I don't pay any attention and just look out the window while I complete my call. This old man sits next to me and says "Hello Whosthatcurl" and I turned to look at him because I didn't recognize him and I asked him "do you know me?" and he says "no I don't but that guy does" So I look up and it's my deadbeat ass baby daddy. I wonder how long that m^%$@ker has been watching me before he said something. I haven't seen nor heard from this man in YEARS. So this fool had the nerve to ask me "how his son was, and was he growing and whatnot" I looked at him like "you mean MY son" I am so ashamed that I cursed this man out and he talking about how he's changed and whatnot. I am really struggling with forgiveness and all those clear people were on the bus. When it was almost time for me to get off I took his number and he asked me was I was going to and I said I'll think about it. I really don't want me to be the reason for my son not to know his bio father, but hell he don't know the ninja anyway. I used to beg this man to spend time with my son even if he didn't have any money. I didn't care about his personal life, just be about your business when it came time to be there for the kid. A part of me wants to be like "Forget this man, he wasn't with me while I was shooting in the gym. Fudge him to a very hot place" but the other half is like "Girl, now you know darn well you want to be forgiven when you mess up." I'm so angry. And hurt. And confused. I've been praying for Divine help, but this can't be it.
 
whosthatcurl said:
What would y'all do?
Click to expand...
Well, if I were you, I would get to know him first before bringing him around the child. There are worse things a kid can go through than not knowing their dad. Get to know the dad on your own and see if he has really changed. See if he is someone who is going to bring some positivity to your child's life. What's the point of letting him in if he just winds up being an arse. Then your son will really resent him...and possibly you. You know, kids don't think rationally. lol

Anyway, that's what I would do. And if he seems on the up and up, I'd slowly let him in the door. But think about. Don't just blurt own: Here's daddy!
Find out what's going on. Make this man show you how he's changed. Then gradually introduce him to his son.

THEN....make sure he starts making child support payments.

ETA Think with your head, not your heart. The heart will jack you up every time! lol
 
whosthatcurl said:
Great advice @IronButterfly that's something along the lines of what my friend said too. I just got find a way around my anger. It's so hard for me to look at him and not spew all this bitterness at him.
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Girl, spew it at him! What he gonna do? Deny his part? If he does, then he hasn't changed a bit. Just don't do it in front of your son. But get it off your chest NOW instead of later.
 
whosthatcurl said:
Great advice @IronButterfly that's something along the lines of what my friend said too. I just got find a way around my anger. It's so hard for me to look at him and not spew all this bitterness at him.
Click to expand...
Here ya go:
35cb65811452e9699857aa0663c0bf34.jpg
 
whosthatcurl said:
What would y'all do?
Click to expand...

how old is your son?
son's like my kids' father, so I will give my opinion
I don't think you should block the option, if that makes sense
If you call, and he want's to see your son, let it happen, even if you have to be there
One thing ppl have always told me was that the kids will make up their minds, just make sure you're not the reason he doesn't know his father
My kids' father have made so many broken promises....my kids are now 11, 13, 16
My 16 year old could care either way...either he spends time with him or he doesn't
My 13 year old used to blame everything on me because his dad would tell him i was the reason(i wasn't), so when he got older, I had to start putting our conversations on speakerphone so he could here his dad say he would show up....then when the time came, we would call, and he wouldn't answer
My 11 year old, it took her a while to come around...she didn't like her father for a long time
So I just said all that to say, leave the option open. Your son will learn who the true provider and caregiver is. Talk to him about it, if he wants to spend time with his dad, let him.
I also know the pain and hurt you feel....set that aside for your son's happiness.

ETA: I didn't read the other responses before I typed mine....but I agree with them also.
In my case, he wasn't totally absent,we attempted to communicate, and I also was in contact with a family member.
 
Whew ladies! I need to vent a little and give a lesson on the neverending value of niceness and HUMILITY! LOL

This is long, but it is entertaining.

I'm an actress and recently was cast in my first play since 2008 (just before getting pregnant) AND my FIRST Shakespeare/classical production ever!!!! This is at a professional theater for professional pay.

Anyhoo, from the beginning things were going pretty rough. Babysitters were disappearing and quitting on me and for a while I had to tote my child to the rehearsals with me. As you can imagine, this required quite a deal of compromise from the other actors. Imagine, taking your child to work with you daily. Added to this, my acting was not up to par. Long time away from the stage and this "weird" language were definite challenges.

Finally, I hired a gal and trained her on my son's cares so she could stay home with him.

A miscalculated decision on my part one day left me without a babysitter, so I had to bring my son to rehearsal or miss a day. The production manager (I'll call her M), who has been nothing but supportive of me throughout the craziness, said she would come in a watch him at 2pm.

NOW THIS IS WHERE ALL THE DRAMA BEGINS!

M was late getting to the theater. This other actress, an Equity actress, (I'll refer to her as J) got her behind on her shoulders because my son was in the dressing room and she went and complained to the stage manager. Mind you, NO ONE told me my son could not be in there or that it was a violation of Equity union rules. So not only does J report me, she feels the need to come tell me that she reported me!

SIDE BAR: J is this 40 yr old biracial chick who likes to act like she's the blackest woman in town. She bragged daily about having a spitfire tongue she inherited from her white activist mama. In other words, going up against her verbally was going to be a challenge. She is also very pretty, charismatic and talented. And can cry on a dime.

We exchanged words, I told her she had an attitude and she ran into the bathroom. Meantime, I reported her to the stage manager for being confrontational and verbally attacking me. Instead of showing me support, the stage manager said that Equity actors had a rights to the dressing room (though she did admit to not informing me of said rules b4 hand).

After rehearsals, the director called a brief meeting with us actresses (there's only 3 of us in the show). Long story short, he blamed me for everything, refused to believe J could be so offensive, and gave me a tongue lashing concerning the inconvenience bringing my son to rehearsals has been. Apparently, even though M had been very supportive of my situation, the director did not share her stance.

Anyway, J and I made up, because I felt the theater ppl had thrown me under the bus by not informing me of dressing room rules when they had more than ample time to do so.

OKAY. Skip to two weeks later.

Alone in the dressing room, J pulls out her ninja card and starts berating my personality. I was having issues remembering my lines and became very self-deprecating in a joking kind of way. J took it upon herself to tell me how unprofessional she thought I was and I how I came off as not caring for the show. When I protested she shot me down (like you do a child when telling them off about their behavior). I was dumfounded. No, I did not go off on her, because despite her accusations, I am professional and did not want to get into a fight 20 minutes before a show. Besides, as I mentioned above, she is the Rocky Balboa of running off at the mouth and I am not.

However, I am the Queen of the Slow Burn, and I had TWO days off to think about what she said and how she said it to me.

When we came back to work, I decided not to speak to her anymore. I mean, I literally treated her like she was invisible. I put my headphones on and called it a day. The stage manager noticed and pulled me to the side. I told her what went down. I also explained to her that I did come to her because she threw me under the bus before. So, she took my side of the story and then took J's side of the story (which I'm sure she made herself look victimized).

We got through the show without incident.

The next day--WACKY WEDNESDAY--J calls herself crying to our other castmate about me not talking to her. "How are the only two black women the show not talking to each other???" I overheard her crying to our 27 yr old white castmate. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. When J has issues with the white girl she talks **** about her to me. When she has issues with me, she goes crying to the white girl.

J is a woman who prides herself on NOT talking behind ppl's back!

OKAY then. So I jump up and tell the white girl all the **** J's been saying behind her back. The white girl is mortified and leaves the room. Then J turns her little dagger eyes on me and says with acid dripping off her tongue: "Look at you. Just look at you!"

AND I lean down in her face, because now she done unleashed the beast, and I say from a voice I seldom entertain...a deep...gutteral...precise tone pulled from the annals of my soul...I say: "You are nothing but a mean, condescending, EVIL little thing!"

She tells me I better get out of her face. I say, Or WHAT?

This heiffer jumped like a jackrabbit on fire out of her chair and ran out of the dressing room screaming: She needs to leave the dressing room now!!!! She just threatened me!! You need to get her out of there now!!!!!!!!!!!

Long story short (too late right! lol), she refused to do the shows. They had to call in her understudy and we were 40 minutes late getting the first show up. The HR lady and the stage manager pulled me out into the hall to get my side of the story. For our second show, they called in my understudy so I could meet with the artistic director (this is the guy who runs the entire theater). I had to write up an incident report. I told him everything that happened all the way back to the first dressing room incident with my son and how the director was kind-a mean to me.

I even confessed how I was struggling with the show and conceded that J was extremely talented.

The artistic director sent J and I home for 2 days while he decided on what he was going to do about this ****. I got a call Thursday night from him and he said he wasn't calling to invite me back to the theater, but he did want to have another meeting with me. I figured it was to finalize my firing, give me my last paycheck and terminate my contract.

Anyway, I'm in good spirits. I know that despite everything I was always kind and courteous to the cast and crew. It was a great experience...blah blah blah.

The artistic director confirmed that, after doing his research, he had come to the conclusion that my behavior was indeed fire-able. However, after mulling over the facts, interviewing ppl and whatnot, he conceded that the situation was NOT unilaterially my fault. As such, at this point, he did invite me to continue on with the show!!!!! In other words, I ain't fired!

I still got a job ya'll!!!

BUT

30 minutes after I got the good news, a mass email went out to everyone in the cast. Apparently J decided she could no longer continue with the show!!!

YES! She out, I'm in. That's what I'm saying.

The humble underdog (me) beat out the arrogant prima donna! And that is how that works ladies. BOOM!

Thanks for hanging with me. Peace out!
 
Bam! And that's how the cookie crumbles.You go girl!
IronButterfly said:
Whew ladies! I need to vent a little and give a lesson on the neverending value of niceness and HUMILITY! LOL

This is long, but it is entertaining.

I'm an actress and recently was cast in my first play since 2008 (just before getting pregnant) AND my FIRST Shakespeare/classical production ever!!!! This is at a professional theater for professional pay.

Anyhoo, from the beginning things were going pretty rough. Babysitters were disappearing and quitting on me and for a while I had to tote my child to the rehearsals with me. As you can imagine, this required quite a deal of compromise from the other actors. Imagine, taking your child to work with you daily. Added to this, my acting was not up to par. Long time away from the stage and this "weird" language were definite challenges.

Finally, I hired a gal and trained her on my son's cares so she could stay home with him.

A miscalculated decision on my part one day left me without a babysitter, so I had to bring my son to rehearsal or miss a day. The production manager (I'll call her M), who has been nothing but supportive of me throughout the craziness, said she would come in a watch him at 2pm.

NOW THIS IS WHERE ALL THE DRAMA BEGINS!

M was late getting to the theater. This other actress, an Equity actress, (I'll refer to her as J) got her behind on her shoulders because my son was in the dressing room and she went and complained to the stage manager. Mind you, NO ONE told me my son could not be in there or that it was a violation of Equity union rules. So not only does J report me, she feels the need to come tell me that she reported me!

SIDE BAR: J is this 40 yr old biracial chick who likes to act like she's the blackest woman in town. She bragged daily about having a spitfire tongue she inherited from her white activist mama. In other words, going up against her verbally was going to be a challenge. She is also very pretty, charismatic and talented. And can cry on a dime.

We exchanged words, I told her she had an attitude and she ran into the bathroom. Meantime, I reported her to the stage manager for being confrontational and verbally attacking me. Instead of showing me support, the stage manager said that Equity actors had a rights to the dressing room (though she did admit to not informing me of said rules b4 hand).

After rehearsals, the director called a brief meeting with us actresses (there's only 3 of us in the show). Long story short, he blamed me for everything, refused to believe J could be so offensive, and gave me a tongue lashing concerning the inconvenience bringing my son to rehearsals has been. Apparently, even though M had been very supportive of my situation, the director did not share her stance.

Anyway, J and I made up, because I felt the theater ppl had thrown me under the bus by not informing me of dressing room rules when they had more than ample time to do so.

OKAY. Skip to two weeks later.

Alone in the dressing room, J pulls out her ninja card and starts berating my personality. I was having issues remembering my lines and became very self-deprecating in a joking kind of way. J took it upon herself to tell me how unprofessional she thought I was and I how I came off as not caring for the show. When I protested she shot me down (like you do a child when telling them off about their behavior). I was dumfounded. No, I did not go off on her, because despite her accusations, I am professional and did not want to get into a fight 20 minutes before a show. Besides, as I mentioned above, she is the Rocky Balboa of running off at the mouth and I am not.

However, I am the Queen of the Slow Burn, and I had TWO days off to think about what she said and how she said it to me.

When we came back to work, I decided not to speak to her anymore. I mean, I literally treated her like she was invisible. I put my headphones on and called it a day. The stage manager noticed and pulled me to the side. I told her what went down. I also explained to her that I did come to her because she threw me under the bus before. So, she took my side of the story and then took J's side of the story (which I'm sure she made herself look victimized).

We got through the show without incident.

The next day--WACKY WEDNESDAY--J calls herself crying to our other castmate about me not talking to her. "How are the only two black women the show not talking to each other???" I overheard her crying to our 27 yr old white castmate. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. When J has issues with the white girl she talks **** about her to me. When she has issues with me, she goes crying to the white girl.

J is a woman who prides herself on NOT talking behind ppl's back!

OKAY then. So I jump up and tell the white girl all the **** J's been saying behind her back. The white girl is mortified and leaves the room. Then J turns her little dagger eyes on me and says with acid dripping off her tongue: "Look at you. Just look at you!"

AND I lean down in her face, because now she done unleashed the beast, and I say from a voice I seldom entertain...a deep...gutteral...precise tone pulled from the annals of my soul...I say: "You are nothing but a mean, condescending, EVIL little thing!"

She tells me I better get out of her face. I say, Or WHAT?

This heiffer jumped like a jackrabbit on fire out of her chair and ran out of the dressing room screaming: She needs to leave the dressing room now!!!! She just threatened me!! You need to get her out of there now!!!!!!!!!!!

Long story short (too late right! lol), she refused to do the shows. They had to call in her understudy and we were 40 minutes late getting the first show up. The HR lady and the stage manager pulled me out into the hall to get my side of the story. For our second show, they called in my understudy so I could meet with the artistic director (this is the guy who runs the entire theater). I had to write up an incident report. I told him everything that happened all the way back to the first dressing room incident with my son and how the director was kind-a mean to me.

I even confessed how I was struggling with the show and conceded that J was extremely talented.

The artistic director sent J and I home for 2 days while he decided on what he was going to do about this ****. I got a call Thursday night from him and he said he wasn't calling to invite me back to the theater, but he did want to have another meeting with me. I figured it was to finalize my firing, give me my last paycheck and terminate my contract.

Anyway, I'm in good spirits. I know that despite everything I was always kind and courteous to the cast and crew. It was a great experience...blah blah blah.

The artistic director confirmed that, after doing his research, he had come to the conclusion that my behavior was indeed fire-able. However, after mulling over the facts, interviewing ppl and whatnot, he conceded that the situation was NOT unilaterially my fault. As such, at this point, he did invite me to continue on with the show!!!!! In other words, I ain't fired!

I still got a job ya'll!!!

BUT

30 minutes after I got the good news, a mass email went out to everyone in the cast. Apparently J decided she could no longer continue with the show!!!

YES! She out, I'm in. That's what I'm saying.

The humble underdog (me) beat out the arrogant prima donna! And that is how that works ladies. BOOM!

Thanks for hanging with me. Peace out!
Click to expand...
 
My baby lost his first tooth and I didn't even know it was loose! I brushed his teeth this morning...no signs of wiggliness. Then later on in the day I was feeding him some strawberries and I noticed he looked a little snaggle-tooth. Upon closer inspection, I noticed a hole in his gum where a front bottom tooth used to be.

What makes it worse is he didn't even get all of his baby teeth, and I been waiting on them to come in...and now he's losing the ones he has.
I'm all up in my feelings about it! :cry3::cry::cry2::crybaby:

Since he can't speak, he couldn't even tell me about it....:crying3:

I wonder if that's why he's been sucking on all his clothes and on the stroller strap. He proly swallowed the darn thing.

I don't know how much more I can take....:cry4:
 
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