I have a nine year old with ADHD and I have an eight year old on the spectrum. She has PDD. Nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed about. People that don't know or understand will try to make you feel that way. Like you just aren't a good parent. Since your child doesn't have a certain look, or is in a wheelchair, they will assume he is normal and just needs more stern discipline. They will make you question yourself and how you raise your kid. I will see if I can find some online support groups for you.
). nothing like the smell of trees and grass, and feeling the wind on your skin even on chilly days. Parks are free too! Having the kid to entertain (and mine just 
) does not make it relaxing 
Welcome @NefertariBlu
I dont have any realadvice regarding your sons care, unfortunately. Do you have help with him to give you a break? I hear diet (again I dont really know) plays a big role. Getting them to eat clean with little to no chemical and sugary foods supposedly helps a ton. But that means more time in the kitchen cooking from scratch or extra cash on organic packaged foods.
However, on stress relief which ALL mothers can use, single or not:
-Exercise. Yea, cliche but effective. I dont actually have time to get out to the gym or run (im out 12 hrs a day between work and commuting). But I do stretches at my desk and home throughout the day to remove tension from muscles. best days are when I take 5 min upon waking to do upper body stretches since I hold all my stress from the waist up.
-Fragrances. Have you tried aromatherapy? I got a little diffuser a cpl months ago and keep it in my bedroom. Relaxing scents help bring a more restful sleep or just relaxing atmosphere in the home. Good quality incense is helpful too.
-nature time (WITHOUT the kid
-inner ear candy. Downloading uplifting podcasts, even not so uplifting news, Pandora, audio books for the commute keeps my mind off my own **** for a while.
-a confidant even if it has to be a professional. If you dont have somone you can let loose with, maybe a councelor? I know the waiting list in the UK can be as long as a year excepting emergencies. They can help you maintain while you raise your son plus have solid professional advice on how to deal.
Thats all I got for now.
Be well
I have a son now 17 with some special needs educational challenges. If I had not spoken up when he was a toddler...it probably would have been 10 years without him getting help. Definitely ask a lot of questions, in addition to the medical support (if needed) take advantage of any counseling or peer groups that may be available. It will take some time, but if you aren't satisfied with the plan or his care SPEAK UP. And once you get a "diagnosis" research everything you can so you can be informed.
Sounds like he may have issues with transitioning and social interaction. My daughter had that issue, and still has it. She can only play and be around other children for a certain period of time. After awhile, she needs her space. If she doesn't get it, she will have a fit and a meltdown. I could go on about that. You have to choose your words carefully with her. She doesn't understand sarcasm, etc... She has trouble figuring out facial expressions. She couldn't handle going from one thing to the next. She would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She used to bite herself and bang her head on the floor, wall, etc... So with all of that said, I will still see about looking into resources for you. There are so many ladies on this site, I'm sure we can come up with something. He may need to get pulled out of class for periods of time. Does the school have a class/program for special needs children? He may need to do half and half. I had my daughter do that for two years. Now she is strictly in a regular classroom. My son has a plan, so that gives him accommodations and protection.
He isn't, I am still deciding whether to do it or not. My ex is a narcissist and will use anything to try and control me. I wanted a clean break from him. I figured id he wants to contribute, he will but I am not going to beg him.
How old is your daughter?Gotta be honest. Not looking forward to this year's holidaysjust want them over and done already. Im usually that fool decking the house and paying triple electric bills for all the lights (literally). Dialing it back this year. Dd will deal.
She's 9.
I get it too. Having been raised by narcs and formerly married to someone who is similarly disordered I really get it. However, might be prudent to ignore his tomfoolery (and maybe a touch of your pride?
) And do what needs doing for your child.Yep I totally agree.I get it too. Having been raised by narcs and formerly married to someone who is similarly disordered I really get it. However, might be prudent to ignore his tomfoolery (and maybe a touch of your pride?
Also now knowing narcs as well as I do now, it could be remnants of his narcisstic jedi mind **** manipulation games keeping you from getting that paper in the first place. Their mind games can go that deep and affect their victim for years after.
When was the last time he has seen his child?
Are you over there in England somewhere? Don't they enforce child support?
im moving back to England in the new year i have been based in South Africa for some years now
Ok. I just noticed you used that word "nappies" and I had do a double take.
Good thing I'm a little literate.
Welcome! If you want to talk I am here to Listen. My daughter's father is a narcissist So I know How you are feeling. I have cut all communication off. This was the best decision for me. I rather that than have him influence my daughter with his behavior. I know all about the public facades and the visiting or communicating when they want. You have to figure out what works best for you and your child. I stopped begging for the daughter father relationship about a year ago. It was so emotionally draining. He was also the cookie cutter of an abusive partner straight out of one of those lifetime movies.
Yep to all of this as well!
I understand. My son is eight. I am not going through all of that if you don't believe in Santa anyway. I will let you skin and grin at your granny's house.
