♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

I went into the kitchen to cook about 9am... I haven't started yet. This week has been so tiring. I'm just sitting here for a spell. I woke up and started trying to clean up. I'm about to cook now so we can eat by 4pm and we start getting ready for the week by 6pm. I wanna go to bed at a decent time.

My kids keep eating outside of the kitchen and going in the cabinets/frig without asking. I'm sick of the messes they make. I'm sick of yelling, nagging, snatching up kids, etc...

I need some advice in this department!
 
shortdub78 said:
I went into the kitchen to cook about 9am... I haven't started yet. This week has been so tiring. I'm just sitting here for a spell. I woke up and started trying to clean up. I'm about to cook now so we can eat by 4pm and we start getting ready for the week by 6pm. I wanna go to bed at a decent time.

My kids keep eating outside of the kitchen and going in the cabinets/frig without asking. I'm sick of the messes they make. I'm sick of yelling, nagging, snatching up kids, etc...

I need some advice in this department!
Click to expand...
You gotta pick your battles, hon. Kids come with mess. I only have the one, but I gave up trying to keep everything organized or clean a looooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg time ago. Spot cleaning is the way to go. If your kids are old enough, have them clean up after themselves. I make my little one pick up his toys when I remember to think about it.

Sick of yelling? Then stop. I made myself stop yelling for a whole week once by writing it on a calendar and committing to it. lol It actually worked. We actually had a very low stress week because of it, too.

Remember, children are a blessing....especially just before squeezing your hands tightly around their necks...BLESSING!!!

lol Keep a good bottle of sense of humor at the ready. It will get you through everything!
 
IronButterfly said:
You gotta pick your battles, hon. Kids come with mess. I only have the one, but I gave up trying to keep everything organized or clean a looooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg time ago. Spot cleaning is the way to go. If your kids are old enough, have them clean up after themselves. I make my little one pick up his toys when I remember to think about it.

Sick of yelling? Then stop. I made myself stop yelling for a whole week once by writing it on a calendar and committing to it. lol It actually worked. We actually had a very low stress week because of it, too.

Remember, children are a blessing....especially just before squeezing your hands tightly around their necks...BLESSING!!!

lol Keep a good bottle of sense of humor at the ready. It will get you through everything!
Click to expand...
Girl I'm going to need some couch time and meds to wrap my brain around that! Girl they will have me living like Hoarders! And I have to snatch people up daily to pick up there things! I throw stuff away too. If I gotta tell you too many times to pick something up, it goes in the garbage! I got on them today and they tried to clean, mop, and vacuum. And to be honest, they can clean better than that crappy job they did. But I praised them for their effort. But I'm the type, I don't give out cookies for doing it half arse. You will learn to do it correctly. But I closed my eyes for 30 mins and calmed down.
 
shortdub78 said:
I went into the kitchen to cook about 9am... I haven't started yet. This week has been so tiring. I'm just sitting here for a spell. I woke up and started trying to clean up. I'm about to cook now so we can eat by 4pm and we start getting ready for the week by 6pm. I wanna go to bed at a decent time.

My kids keep eating outside of the kitchen and going in the cabinets/frig without asking. I'm sick of the messes they make. I'm sick of yelling, nagging, snatching up kids, etc...

I need some advice in this department!
Click to expand...

My lil one is 4 and I had to realize exactly what Ironbutterfly is saying. You have to pick your own battles. She now starts to clean up after herself more often. She always put her cups and dishes in the sink,putting dirty clothes in the hamper but terrible at picking up her toys.

My child has been trying to sucker me lately and I have had to put my foot down. It was hard but it is paying off.
 
snugglez41685 said:
My lil one is 4 and I had to realize exactly what Ironbutterfly is saying. You have to pick your own battles. She now starts to clean up after herself more often. She always put her cups and dishes in the sink,putting dirty clothes in the hamper but terrible at picking up her toys.

My child has been trying to sucker me lately and I have had to put my foot down. It was hard but it is paying off.
Click to expand...
Yeah I'm not letting go of that battle! They need to learn how to respect their home. If I ease up/let go, it would be totally out of control! I don't operate well with chaotic surroundings. These children are special needs, they need structure and organization. They won't just get it one day. They have no sense of awareness of their surroundings. And that's what I need help with. Their messes are costly messes.
 
shortdub78 said:
Yeah I'm not letting go of that battle! They need to learn how to respect their home. If I ease up/let go, it would be totally out of control! I don't operate well with chaotic surroundings. These children are special needs, they need structure and organization. They won't just get it one day. They have no sense of awareness of their surroundings. And that's what I need help with. Their messes are costly messes.
Click to expand...

Maybe you should consider putting locks on your cabinets/fridge to cut down on mess. My kid is special needs, too, and if I don't want him to get into off limit areas, I block them off. Gate blocking one entrance to kitchen, couch blocking off the other. Put things out of his reach. Close doors, etc.
If they are destructive with crayons or toys, lock them up in a big trunk or something and dole out only what they need at that time. If your kids are that unruly, then forcing them to have to ask for something everytime they want something might be a way to establish structure (eg: "You can have such and such after you finish this and that".)

It's proly harder to vocally limit things when dealing with multiple kids, but you still need to be proactive. Maybe you could create a list of rules from most important to least, then enforce those that you can't live without and not worry too much about the rest.

All I know for sure is that yelling and snatching and getting yourself all frustrated are dead end tactics. My son won't do anything except yell back at me (actually it's a growl since he's non-verbal lol) and refuse to do what I need him to do if I lose my cool with him. Very strong willed little booger!

You might also want to consult with a children's behavioral specialist. We see one. I don't always care for his ideas, but his ideas spark ideas of my own which work for our needs.

Let us know how things go. Peace.
 
IronButterfly said:
Maybe you should consider putting locks on your cabinets/fridge to cut down on mess. My kid is special needs, too, and if I don't want him to get into off limit areas, I block them off. Gate blocking one entrance to kitchen, couch blocking off the other. Put things out of his reach. Close doors, etc.
If they are destructive with crayons or toys, lock them up in a big trunk or something and dole out only what they need at that time. If your kids are that unruly, then forcing them to have to ask for something everytime they want something might be a way to establish structure (eg: "You can have such and such after you finish this and that".)

It's proly harder to vocally limit things when dealing with multiple kids, but you still need to be proactive. Maybe you could create a list of rules from most important to least, then enforce those that you can't live without and not worry too much about the rest.

All I know for sure is that yelling and snatching and getting yourself all frustrated are dead end tactics. My son won't do anything except yell back at me (actually it's a growl since he's non-verbal lol) and refuse to do what I need him to do if I lose my cool with him. Very strong willed little booger!

You might also want to consult with a children's behavioral specialist. We see one. I don't always care for his ideas, but his ideas spark ideas of my own which work for our needs.

Let us know how things go. Peace.
Click to expand...
Good advice! I have looked into those locks before, and forgot all about getting them. I do plan on getting a trunk this school year too! I buy extra supplies and things for school projects. My dd refusing to not touch those things, so when it is time to do something, we are out of it. She is really into drawing and arts & crafts. It's like how a boy with autism is into maps, or trains. She makes huge messes, and we go through so much paper! But I don't discourage her from art. She wants to be an artist when she grows up and she is very good. She will be in art class later this fall.

My son insist on eating outside of the kitchen and leaves food, containers, and creates major spills. He has destroyed the carpets. He also will over eat something that I buy until it's gone in one day. They sneak food at night. I understand he is hungry at times, since he is on meds, so I don't mind the extra snacks, it's just he goes about it excessively.
 
shortdub78 said:
They state I live in is on some foolishness when it comes to daycare assistance. It may become obsolete for a lot of people that need it, but don't meet the requirements. Please they are late with payments, so I still need to have that money aside.
Click to expand...
Is the state Illinois? Because they are definitely on some foolishness. I tried to get my son into a YMCA for after school so I can get a job..and the Governor has heavily cut assistance. I respect that he's trying to dig the city out the hole, but he's going about it the wrong freaking way.
 
shortdub78 said:
Good advice! I have looked into those locks before, and forgot all about getting them. I do plan on getting a trunk this school year too! I buy extra supplies and things for school projects. My dd refusing to not touch those things, so when it is time to do something, we are out of it. She is really into drawing and arts & crafts. It's like how a boy with autism is into maps, or trains. She makes huge messes, and we go through so much paper! But I don't discourage her from art. She wants to be an artist when she grows up and she is very good. She will be in art class later this fall.

My son insist on eating outside of the kitchen and leaves food, containers, and creates major spills. He has destroyed the carpets. He also will over eat something that I buy until it's gone in one day. They sneak food at night. I understand he is hungry at times, since he is on meds, so I don't mind the extra snacks, it's just he goes about it excessively.
Click to expand...

Why not leave out a bowl of ready snacks they can grab? I don't know what you allow, but maybe something spill proof like gummy bears or fruit roll ups or seedless grapes?

I still think it's a good idea to limit your dd's access to the art supplies so you can control messes and waste. Not only will you encourage her art, you will also instill a bit of discipline/structure.
 
IronButterfly said:
Why not leave out a bowl of ready snacks they can grab? I don't know what you allow, but maybe something spill proof like gummy bears or fruit roll ups or seedless grapes?

I still think it's a good idea to limit your dd's access to the art supplies so you can control messes and waste. Not only will you encourage her art, you will also instill a bit of discipline/structure.
Click to expand...
I all of that stuff will end up stuck to the floor, and I do leave snacks out, but they sneak and get more. They have to be monitored to get them to not eat outside of the kitchen. I have spill proof cups for them too, but they aren't allow to drink outside of the kitchen either. They are sneaky! You aren't deal with the average bears! Lol
 
I gave them fruit snacks and they were chewed up and smashed on the floor. Raisins...the same way, etc... And what's so crazy is I'm the total opposite of these little people! I have OCD tendencies about cleaning. I can't leave my house or think straight if things are tidy and in order. I feel out of control. So I clean every single day. And I get angry and have anxiety when things are out of order. I wish I had the money for a professional organizer that specializes in dealing with clients with special needs.
 
shortdub78 said:
I gave them fruit snacks and they were chewed up and smashed on the floor. Raisins...the same way, etc... And what's so crazy is I'm the total opposite of these little people! I have OCD tendencies about cleaning. I can't leave my house or think straight if things are tidy and in order. I feel out of control. So I clean every single day. And I get angry and have anxiety when things are out of order. I wish I had the money for a professional organizer that specializes in dealing with clients with special needs.
Click to expand...
I wonder if your OCD isn't making the situation worse than what it is. :look:
Children are messy as a rule. They lack discipline. They are selfish and incapable of thinking of the better good. I'm wondering if they might be a little stressed out living in a home that must be tidy at all times. I know my grandma stressed me out as an adult with that craziness. lol

My son had a PCA (briefly) who claimed to have OCD so she felt the need to over-scrub the bathroom and his toilet chair after his nightly enema. Problem was she made a BIGGER mess on the sink counter, getting water all under the things I had stacked on the sink. Her conclusion was to clean all the things on the counter that she got water-logged. When I told her she could also PAY for all the papertowels she'd be wasting in the process, she found another way. lol

Just saying... Btw how old are your kids?

Are your kids in school/summer school? Sometimes teachers can hook you up with counselors that are free of cost. Some community organizations have free parental classes. Are your kids on MA? If so, MA can pay for special counseling.

Girrrrrrrrllllllllllll....there is help out there for you. I just know there is. :bighug:
 
My little stinker is going into the hospital for some "minor" surgery tomorrow afternoon. He's getting botox shots to his bladder. This isn't our first round at the rodeo and I'm pretty level headed about it, but I know way deep down inside there's a little mommy down there ringing her hands. Somebody make me laugh. Please!!!!:look:
 
Awww! I dont thin I can make you laugh. Im a bit weary myself. But I got tons of these:
:bighug::giveheart::grouphug::grouphug3::hugxplode:
IronButterfly said:
My little stinker is going into the hospital for some "minor" surgery tomorrow afternoon. He's getting botox shots to his bladder. This isn't our first round at the rodeo and I'm pretty level headed about it, but I know way deep down inside there's a little mommy down there ringing her hands. Somebody make me laugh. Please!!!!:look:
Click to expand...
 
Taking my baby on her first airplane flight this weekend. Just an hour and a half flight to So. Cal for the attractions and to play tourist. She is super excited. All she can talk about is the planes and hotel. That girl has always had an obsession with hotels and their amenities since she was like 3!:lol:

She insists we go to the hotel spa for a massage. Im like, girl what YOU need a massage for?! Im the one gonna be chasing after you & trying to tune out 10,398 screaming kids for 3 days! Mama gone need a massage and a fifth:lachen:!!
 
hey yall! I feel like a dayum broken record but EVERY YEAR at school time this mf wanna act up. Like can I have ONE school year where you are on point? All of a sudden you crying broke? And you wanna have the nerve to be smart and ignore my calls, then when I see you tell me " you will figure something out". REALLY! My son is 12 and I always do but I shouldn't have to. I really just had to walk away and not slap the mess out of him.
I have really been going through these past few months and all he does is the bare minimum. My health is giving me problems and I just have to let some things go. Lord make a way. But I sure hate to be struggling all the dang time when I shouldn't have to...
On a better note, my middle son is 17. Couldn't walk and talk till he was almost three is graduating this year! :thud:
He worked a little summer job with the program we have here, and gave me money from every check. I gave it back to him, and he bought school clothes and even went to the market to buy some food. He said Momma I didn't know food was so expensive. Now I know why you fuss!!! :lachen:
 
crlsweetie912 said:
hey yall! I feel like a dayum broken record but EVERY YEAR at school time this mf wanna act up. Like can I have ONE school year where you are on point? All of a sudden you crying broke? And you wanna have the nerve to be smart and ignore my calls, then when I see you tell me " you will figure something out". REALLY! My son is 12 and I always do but I shouldn't have to. I really just had to walk away and not slap the mess out of him.
I have really been going through these past few months and all he does is the bare minimum. My health is giving me problems and I just have to let some things go. Lord make a way. But I sure hate to be struggling all the dang time when I shouldn't have to...
On a better note, my middle son is 17. Couldn't walk and talk till he was almost three is graduating this year! :thud:
He worked a little summer job with the program we have here, and gave me money from every check. I gave it back to him, and he bought school clothes and even went to the market to buy some food. He said Momma I didn't know food was so expensive. Now I know why you fuss!!! :lachen:
Click to expand...
File dem papers...
 
So by being nosey I found out my daughter's father's girlfriend pit in her two weeks notice at my job. I still don't understand why she even got a job where I work and then started a whole bunch of sneaky drama with some of the coworkers. Hope her new job suits her better.

And I know this shouldn't bother me but it does. How do women have relationships with deadbeat dads? She must know now from working at the same job that I ain't the witch he probably makes me out to be. I know he watches her son while she works but hasn't seen my daughter in five months. He showed up to my job to bring her lunch one day last week and I broke down. How could someone do this to their own child? She is always asking for him and I can no longer lie. I tell her the truth. He is not coming to see her. She calls him by his first name now most times. I want to get to the six month point and file to relinquish his rights based on abandonment. This will allow me to move out of state when I finish nursing school in May.

Sorry for the long post.
 
snugglez41685 said:
So by being nosey I found out my daughter's father's girlfriend pit in her two weeks notice at my job. I still don't understand why she even got a job where I work and then started a whole bunch of sneaky drama with some of the coworkers. Hope her new job suits her better.

And I know this shouldn't bother me but it does. How do women have relationships with deadbeat dads? She must know now from working at the same job that I ain't the witch he probably makes me out to be. I know he watches her son while she works but hasn't seen my daughter in five months. He showed up to my job to bring her lunch one day last week and I broke down. How could someone do this to their own child? She is always asking for him and I can no longer lie. I tell her the truth. He is not coming to see her. She calls him by his first name now most times. I want to get to the six month point and file to relinquish his rights based on abandonment. This will allow me to move out of state when I finish nursing school in May.

Sorry for the long post.
Click to expand...
He probably told her you keep their daughter away, or that you still want him... Now I have never heard of that. I thought the father has to sign off on that. Do you have a child support order?
 
shortdub78 said:
I can, these child care providers got me by the neck!
Click to expand...
I'm sorry to hear that. I guess I'm blessed I don't have to go that route for the time being. One of the many perks of having a physically handicapped child. When life gives you lemons...hell...we opened our own lemonade stand! lol However sending him to school allows someone else to split his cares with me and that is a welcome reprieve.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

I
SINGLE and FAT at the SAME TIME!
2
Replies
36
Views
2K
sky_blu
sky_blu
X
Is it okay to ask to meet the other woman?
Replies
8
Views
204
Xavier
X
crimsonpeach
First Year Of Marriage Support Thread
2
Replies
40
Views
2K
summertimewine
summertimewine
ClassyJSP
Single Mom
2
Replies
41
Views
2K
Kimbosheart
Kimbosheart
JustKiya
Yes, It's Another 'single Black Woman' Thread.....
6 7 8
Replies
232
Views
5K
sunshinebeautiful
sunshinebeautiful
Back
Top