Should the man love you more?!?!
- Thread starter br0wney3z
- Start date
SpiritJunkie
Well-Known Member
i don't know about this one. I know my ex constantly asked me if i loved him...which i did but i didn't understand why he needed to know all the time. I knew he loved me but didn't need reassurance so often.
Perhaps, a man should. He may appreciate you more.
Perhaps, a man should. He may appreciate you more.
asummertyme
Well-Known Member
i have to agree...
kweenameena
Well-Known Member
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
I think fear makes you want to show love more than your man shows you love. Fear of losing him or him losing interest.
If you truly know how to love yourself, you dont have to worry about your man loving you more because you know NO ONE will love you more than you. And only than can you learn to love him the way he needs to be loved and its not fear-based. Its natural and you're both happy.
If you truly know how to love yourself, you dont have to worry about your man loving you more because you know NO ONE will love you more than you. And only than can you learn to love him the way he needs to be loved and its not fear-based. Its natural and you're both happy.
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
Should your husband/SO love you more than you love him? Heck Yes
You lose respect for him and eventually he will resent you 8372.81%No, it should be equal
This is where its at!2723.68%You love him more
He will lose respect and you will become resentfully
Butterfly08
New Member
I agree with you to a certain extent, however I've observed that too many women waste time in relationships where they are loving the most, giving the most, working the most. Whoever loves the least controls the relationship. In an ideal world, both partners would love each other equally (100%). That doesn't always happen. Personally I wouldn't want to be the one who loves my partner WAY MORE than he loves me, because that would set me up for heartache and disappointment to give out and get very little in return.
In a healthy relationship that is mutually beneficial to both partners, this concept is less important.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
I think this term gets misinterpreted because I do love my man just as much as he loves me- he just has a tendency to be more about PDAs then I am. I just got peeved with him this weekend about this. He claims to need my attention at the most inconvenient times- like Sweetie I can't really can't pay too close attention to you or look at you because I'm driving on the DAN FREAKIN' RYAN!!!
OR I really don't feel like being all lovey-dovey right now because we're at a concert that cost 100 bucks a ticket and I want to get my money's worth so no I don't feel like gazing into your eyes
This one KILLS me! 
I can see if a guy wants to catch a glimpse a several times throughout the whole night but he gets upset when I get annoyed because he wants to stare at me for at least 10 seconds at a time every 20 minutes and we're out at a FREAKIN' CONCERT WITH MY FRIENDS!!! I LOVE THIS BAND- I WANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE SHOW!!!
He claims he feels neglected and hurt because I won't look at him EVERY TIME! Or what about when I met his sister for the first time and we're all out to dinner with HER friends and he asked like 5-7 times for me to kiss him at the table- not super slob kiss or anything but still damn that's enough pecks already!! 
I'm just not comfortable with all that PDA. I think you can seriously alienate people like that. I think he's more showy with his love but I definitely love him just as much. Sometimes I think he might be trying to control situations where he doesn't have my complete attention (typical alpha male
)I know there are a lot of women out there love starved so I'm trying not to complain too much but I don't want to get upset with him in front of our friends or family by telling him to lay off and I don't want to alienate him by denying him that but I don't want to alienate my friends and his family by all the little pecks and all the googly eyes either...
erplexed erplexed
Candy_C
New Member
Jamila if thats you in your signature you are absoloutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
and yes its true, my man is more PASSIONATE about me i feel.
Like he is a very manly man, protective etc
i'm more laid back
but then we switch roles...
scorpio70
New Member
my pastor had an interesting take on this. he pointed out that there are countless times in the bible where men have to be told to love his woman and put her first. whereas women don't have to be told because for us, loving, nurturing and submitting are inherent to us.
the point is that for a man to SHOW that he loves you just as much as you love him he has to be in deeper than you are. we can SHOW it with much less provocation than it takes for a man.
usually, by the time he says 'i love you' he's already been in love with you for some time and has been feeling some kinda way about it.
the point is that for a man to SHOW that he loves you just as much as you love him he has to be in deeper than you are. we can SHOW it with much less provocation than it takes for a man.
usually, by the time he says 'i love you' he's already been in love with you for some time and has been feeling some kinda way about it.
Opalsunset
New Member
This is a very good point! I have to totally agree on that!
CurleeDST
Well-Known Member
So we are preoccupied with someone showing the love or being genuine and FEELING the love?
We know how men can be when it comes to expressing their emotions (they are not socialized to do it as we women are which is why it is easy for us).
I say if the man loves GOD FIRST then the rest will follow and we won't have to be preoccupied with who loves who more.
We know how men can be when it comes to expressing their emotions (they are not socialized to do it as we women are which is why it is easy for us).
I say if the man loves GOD FIRST then the rest will follow and we won't have to be preoccupied with who loves who more.
xxBlackRosexx
New Member
Yes 
Blossoming^
New Member
Yes ITA this is what my mother always told me growing up. Of course your going to love your man but when you know he loves you a little more you know you have that brother on lock
Butterfly08
New Member
I think this term gets misinterpreted because I do love my man just as much as he loves me- he just has a tendency to be more about PDAs then I am. I just got peeved with him this weekend about this. He claims to need my attention at the most inconvenient times- like Sweetie I can't really can't pay too close attention to you or look at you because I'm driving on the DAN FREAKIN' RYAN!!!
OT: LOL, I see you're from Chicago, I grew up there.
Ok, back on topic, people love and show their love in different ways, and I think that's perfectly acceptable.
Thank you.
doll-baby
Well-Known Member
I have heard this before, and I think that it was a rule of thumb that older generations told girls to make sure that they found someone that would be around until the end / a solid provider.
But my question is how do you know that he loves you more? Do you base it on your own luke warm feelings about him ? Or are we basing it on some outrageous act of love that he has done for you, but you would not perform for him?
I think in any situation if one partner is loving more than the other, someone is going to get hurt. I love my boyfriend and he loves me I would like to think that our love is equal.
But my question is how do you know that he loves you more? Do you base it on your own luke warm feelings about him ? Or are we basing it on some outrageous act of love that he has done for you, but you would not perform for him?
I think in any situation if one partner is loving more than the other, someone is going to get hurt. I love my boyfriend and he loves me I would like to think that our love is equal.
ebonylocs
New Member
I agree. There is no such thing as 50-50 love in a relationship, and the positions may fluctuate with time. On any one moment in time, one or the other partner will be reaching out to their mate more than their mate is reaching out to them. A woman doing the majority of the reaching out is in a very vulnerable position. I think that's what people mean.
Where are you all finding these men that take long to fall??? I've never met a man who "grew" to love me. They were always in deep right from the beginning, or or not at all.
Zen, no offence, but your guy sounds super needy. I find it difficult to tolerate guys that are clingy like that, because I know it can't possibly be really just about me. No one is that special, to merit all that. So I usually think a guy like that is really in love with the idea of being in love, or in love with some illusory version of me.I can see if a guy wants to catch a glimpse a several times throughout the whole night but he gets upset when I get annoyed because he wants to stare at me for at least 10 seconds at a time every 20 minutes and we're out at a FREAKIN' CONCERT WITH MY FRIENDS!!! I LOVE THIS BAND- I WANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE SHOW!!!
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I agree with the theory in general. Recent research showed that the longest lasting and happiest relationships are the ones where the woman is generally considered more attractive than the man. This seems support the theory that when a man is with a woman that he feels lucky to be with, he works harder at the relationship, and both she and he are happier.
Blossoming^
New Member
Zen, no offence, but your guy sounds super needy. I find it difficult to tolerate guys that are clingy like that, because I know it can't possibly be really just about me. No one is that special, to merit all that. So I usually think a guy like that is really in love with the idea of being in love, or in love with some illusory version of me.
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I'll have to disagree with you their I don't think he sounds nerdy, that man is head over heels for her and obviously loves her or is feeling her more than she is feeling him. And i'm sure she feels secure that he aint going anywhere.
I agree with the theory in general. Recent research showed that the longest lasting and happiest relationships are the ones where the woman is generally considered more attractive than the man. This seems support the theory that when a man is with a woman that he feels lucky to be with, he works harder at the relationship, and both she and he are happier.[/quote]
Exactly the man realizes he has a prize.
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I'll have to disagree with you their I don't think he sounds nerdy, that man is head over heels for her and obviously loves her or is feeling her more than she is feeling him. And i'm sure she feels secure that he aint going anywhere.
I agree with the theory in general. Recent research showed that the longest lasting and happiest relationships are the ones where the woman is generally considered more attractive than the man. This seems support the theory that when a man is with a woman that he feels lucky to be with, he works harder at the relationship, and both she and he are happier.[/quote]
Exactly the man realizes he has a prize.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
I agree that when I posted that I was highly irritated and annoyed. I could see where you would think this but if you've seen any of my other posts, he has his own life and friends too. I think if nothing else he's got more issues with being a controlling alpha male that needs to be at the focal point of attention in a lot of situations. He is not in love with an illusion- and can be just as quick to point out my flaws. This is the reason why I love him because he calls me out on my BS. I have talked to one of my best friends about her relationship with DH, and looking at one of my best guy friend's with his new girlfriend and there are many similarities in their and my SO's actions- so it's not completely out of character for a man to love a woman with that kind of zeal.
In fact, he's definitely not clingy to a point where it is unhealthy because we are on an extended break due to all of the outside drama in our lives. He was the one that initiated it until we both take care of business. It was a drastic change in the relationship compared to how it has been in the last year. However scary and anxious it makes me feel- I have to believe his words when he says "I love you but we can't be together right now and yes we have a great relationship but it will only get worse if we don't take care of some things first. I'm not going anywhere and this is just a phase." These are not the words or an irrationally clingy man.
Maybe I was unused to this much attention and didn't know how to handle it, but I miss him terribly because no one has ever treated me this well and I know he says the same about how I treat him.
shelly25
Active Member
I'd like to know this too....
joyandfaith
Active Member
I totally agree
I feel ya on the bolded. You know if you asked me if the man should love you more about a year ago, I would of been like "heck, no. I want to love the man just as much as he loves me" but as I am maturing, I am reallzing what I really need is a man that cherishes me more than anything or anyone except for God. I need a man that is going to put me before anyone including himself...
itismehmmkay
Well-Known Member
lunabelle
Well-Known Member
I couldn't agree more!Similar threads
