"Your husband should love u more than you love him"

[Puddles]

Well, I haven't ready every post, but from what I gathered, they're not saying you have love him less. I think you're equating a man loving you more with you loving him less...which doesn't have to be the case. Let's say your love for him is at a 9 right now and his is at a 9...this time next year, his love for you could grow significantly for whatever reason and his love could be at a 12...that doesn't mean yours has to be less than a 9 (which is your "best")...it just means that his love, in his way, is greater than yours in some (or many) ways.

.

DI.....you are on point with these answers......You Go Girl.

 

[carcajada]

Originally Posted by fmnnity
That's what I've been told. . . seems that all of the successful marriages I've seen, this was the formula. I believe we are at our best when we are being loved and being made to feel special. So that makes us want to give our all.

I'm sorry but I disagree. I think we as women put to much of our self in to our men. I'm at my best when I love my self. My relationship with my SO is just a part of me. It doesn't make me who I am. Only I can truly make me happy and when I'm happy I'm a great wife and mother. MY SO and kids can't give me the happiness I can give to myself. I won't put my happiness in someone else's hands. It's all up to me to make me happy.

I didn't take her comment to mean that.

With me, I definitely would not and will not give my all w/o seeing the man's length he would go to for me. Just being honest. Being treated a certain way and developing a relationship with him enabled me to have a loving comfort zone to which I trusted more than I ever had, opened up more than I ever had, and gave more of myself than I would to anyone else. It's definitely something about that treatment, love, and admiration that made me feel like nothing I've ever felt and in turn I was able to give him my very best at everything. I don't think it had anything to do with being happy with myself, but it had everything to do with feeling absoluately awesome to be loved like that from someone I loved too.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

DI.....you are on point with these answers......You Go Girl.

Thank you, just being honest.

 

[Mortons]

Long but hey, love is a topic I feel passionatly for:

A good friend of mine made a comparision about me that will stick with me for ever. She said "You know Glamourous is a like a fortress. Inside of her is all that you will need to survive but her walls are nearly impenetrable. But once you find out how to get inside of them, and not many will, you wont have to look anywhere for anything else."
This is often how I would describe my love. But after reading about some ladies and their lack of feelings I would say my "walls" must be made of cotton candy. Just add a little water to them suckers.

I can agree and disagree with some of the things that were said in this thread but my bottom line is, not matching someones love and taking it to the next level would make me feel sad and cheated. Not only cheating myself but my lover as well. God has blessed me with the ability to love outside of myself so passionately, and although sometimes because of this gift I am pained badly, I would not trade it for anything. When I finally find the one I am meant to be with I want to be able to love hard and for BOTH of us to grow in that love. Holding some of that love back would not really be living. Life and love is not meant to be measured and it would be a sad thing for women to go through their life trying to find someone who feels a 'little more' gives a 'little more' loves 'a little more', etc. I know for a fact I wont find it. I can not be outdone I know (by the grace of the Lord) someday I will find someone who loves me just as passionately and when I do I wont concern myself with the idea of who will do more for whom. I will take that extra mile for that special someone, without wondering if they would do it for me. Thats what loving outside of myself and loving unconditionally is. Looking at some of these comments about the games we play and the measurements we like to compare I can only hope and pray that He/She wont have been so tainted by games that they wonder, "Does Glamourous love me like I love her?" If it was good enough for Jesus to love unconditionally inspite of its good enough for me.

To break it down: If the sun aint rising and setting on that knee-grow for you, tell em move out the way cause they blocking the view.

 

[Dare~to~Dream]

Long but hey, love is a topic I feel passionatly for:

A good friend of mine made a comparision about me that will stick with me for ever. She said "You know Glamourous is a like a fortress. Inside of her is all that you will need to survive but her walls are nearly impenetrable. But once you find out how to get inside of them, and not many will, you wont have to look anywhere for anything else."
This is often how I would describe my love. But after reading about some ladies and their lack of feelings I would say my "walls" must be made of cotton candy. Just add a little water to them suckers.

I can agree and disagree with some of the things that were said in this thread but my bottom line is, not matching someones love and taking it to the next level would make me feel sad and cheated. Not only cheating myself but my lover as well. God has blessed me with the ability to love outside of myself so passionately, and although sometimes because of this gift I am pained badly, I would not trade it for anything. When I finally find the one I am meant to be with I want to be able to love hard and for BOTH of us to grow in that love. Holding some of that love back would not really be living. Life and love is not meant to be measured and it would be a sad thing for women to go through their life trying to find someone who feels a 'little more' gives a 'little more' loves 'a little more', etc. I know for a fact I wont find it. I can not be outdone I know (by the grace of the Lord) someday I will find someone who loves me just as passionately and when I do I wont concern myself with the idea of who will do more for whom. I will take that extra mile for that special someone, without wondering if they would do it for me. Thats what loving outside of myself and loving unconditionally is. Looking at some of these comments about the games we play and the measurements we like to compare I can only hope and pray that He/She wont have been so tainted by games that they wonder, "Does Glamourous love me like I love her?" If it was good enough for Jesus to love unconditionally inspite of its good enough for me.

To break it down: If the sun aint rising and setting on that knee-grow for you, tell em move out the way cause they blocking the view.

This is by far the best post I've read since the thread started...you were able to express the things I would have liked to state but for some reason...I just decided to co-sign with the views I agree with instead of my posting my own thoughts (maybe I was just too lazy to type it out ).

 

[Mortons]

This is by far the best post I've read since the thread started...you were able to express the things I would have liked to state but for some reason...I just decided to co-sign with the views I agree with instead of my posting my own thoughts (maybe I was just too lazy to type it out ).

BOOOOOOO for co-signers. Lol, really I normally dont type long posts, but I felt like that was pouring from my heart to the keyboard. Couldnt help it.

 

[Dare~to~Dream]

BOOOOOOO for co-signers. Lol, really I normally dont type long posts, but I felt like that was pouring from my heart to the keyboard. Couldnt help it.

Aw don't boo the co-signer(s)! Yeah it truly read as if you were pouring your heart out...it was a nice post.

 

[fmnnity]

I didn't take her comment to mean that.

With me, I definitely would not and will not give my all w/o seeing the man's length he would go to for me. Just being honest. Being treated a certain way and developing a relationship with him enabled me to have a loving comfort zone to which I trusted more than I ever had, opened up more than I ever had, and gave more of myself than I would to anyone else. It's definitely something about that treatment, love, and admiration that made me feel like nothing I've ever felt and in turn I was able to give him my very best at everything. I don't think it had anything to do with being happy with myself, but it had everything to do with feeling absoluately awesome to be loved like that from someone I loved too.

You said it perfectly thank you!!!

 

[seraphinelle]

Glamourous!!
*cosign*

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Women love unconditionally anyway. Women are emotional and are always constantly changing. So a man needs to be able to wholeheartedly(spelling) love that women for the women to always feel emotionally supported and loved by him. So yes.

AMEN to this and most all the other posts in this thread.

When I was a child my mother told me the same thing, and I will tell it to my daughters as well, for as far as I see it - it is very true. A man needs to cherish, respect, and LOVE his woman a bit more . He'll work harder to maintain his end of the relationship.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Well, I don't believe you can "make" anyone love you more or less nor can you "make" yourself love a man more or less. However, it's possible to have a man eating out of your hand without trying, and from my observations, women who are completely confident in who they are are the ones who achieve this. It's not about conforming to anyone's standards but your own.

Love is a verb that results from an element inside of us...I don't believe we can mold and wield at our whim. If we could, we'd overcome heartbreak much faster. Unfortunately, we're not left with that choice once we're invested.

Besides all of that, I don't think being the best you you can be has anything to do with loving a man...it starts with YOU. A man does not complete a woman...he should be the accessory to the outfit, not the foundation. The question posed was how to become a woman that a man will prize, and the answer is to be the very best you possible - by developing yourself as a person, setting and achieving goals, living each day to the fullest, and learning to be complete and happy all by yourself. Only then will you really have anything offer a man in the first place. But beyond that, those are the women who I've seen men go after with abandon...and the women who are the most fulfilled and satisfied with their relationships, regardless of who loves who more.

 

[hothair]

I TOTALLY AGREE

 

[Mortons]

Glamourous!!
*cosign*

Booo for cosigners again Lol, thats just playing. Luv ya seraphinelle

 

[envybeauty]

Long but hey, love is a topic I feel passionatly for:

A good friend of mine made a comparision about me that will stick with me for ever. She said "You know Glamourous is a like a fortress. Inside of her is all that you will need to survive but her walls are nearly impenetrable. But once you find out how to get inside of them, and not many will, you wont have to look anywhere for anything else."


AMEN and



If it was good enough for Jesus to love unconditionally inspite of its good enough for me.


AMEN!
.

 

[shynessqueen]

Long but hey, love is a topic I feel passionatly for:

A good friend of mine made a comparision about me that will stick with me for ever. She said "You know Glamourous is a like a fortress. Inside of her is all that you will need to survive but her walls are nearly impenetrable. But once you find out how to get inside of them, and not many will, you wont have to look anywhere for anything else."
This is often how I would describe my love. But after reading about some ladies and their lack of feelings I would say my "walls" must be made of cotton candy. Just add a little water to them suckers.

I can agree and disagree with some of the things that were said in this thread but my bottom line is, not matching someones love and taking it to the next level would make me feel sad and cheated. Not only cheating myself but my lover as well. God has blessed me with the ability to love outside of myself so passionately, and although sometimes because of this gift I am pained badly, I would not trade it for anything. When I finally find the one I am meant to be with I want to be able to love hard and for BOTH of us to grow in that love. Holding some of that love back would not really be living. Life and love is not meant to be measured and it would be a sad thing for women to go through their life trying to find someone who feels a 'little more' gives a 'little more' loves 'a little more', etc. I know for a fact I wont find it. I can not be outdone I know (by the grace of the Lord) someday I will find someone who loves me just as passionately and when I do I wont concern myself with the idea of who will do more for whom. I will take that extra mile for that special someone, without wondering if they would do it for me. Thats what loving outside of myself and loving unconditionally is. Looking at some of these comments about the games we play and the measurements we like to compare I can only hope and pray that He/She wont have been so tainted by games that they wonder, "Does Glamourous love me like I love her?" If it was good enough for Jesus to love unconditionally inspite of its good enough for me.

To break it down: If the sun aint rising and setting on that knee-grow for you, tell em move out the way cause they blocking the view.

Say it again. Co-signing big time.

 

[adf23]

Yes to the original poster. It just doesnt work when the woman is the more smitten of the two.

 

[esoterica]

I agree with most of the posters. My DH has always loved me more and it's been great. Recently I've been asking G-d to soften my heart towards my Dh and He has. Do ya'll remember the thread were DH stood me up on a lunch date and my feelings were hurt. Well, he never would have done that if I were the old me. 6 months ago if he had done that I would have cut him off emotionally. But I've noticed that once I cared more he changed. He still a great guy but he's done some odd things.

This is classic man behaviour isn't it. I firmly believe that the man needs to love the woman more, or be more into her than she is into him.

 

[Much2much41]

I don't know. I agree with the logic behind it, but in practice, it's kind of sad. Every woman I know that is in this type of relationship has a husband that they could "take or leave". I understand wanting your husband to love you more, because he's less likely to take you for granted, but I don't want to be in the situation where I don't feel a lot of love toward him. I would prefer it to be equal, though I have rarely run into couples who love each other that way. It's almost invariably one loving the other much more. I always feel sorry for the person with the stronger love, because they seem like they are disposable to the other party

 

[tinkat]

I definitely agree with that statement.

 

[Lindy]

Love is sooo complicated... I agree that you want your husband to be reeeeallly into you, but being married to someone that YOU'RE not reeeallly into is not fulfilling in the long run. You will begin to feel like you have "settled" for someone who is not really your soulmate (if you believe in that...), which can lead to affairs and/or divorce...

 

[Opalsunset]

I do agree that the man should love you more. I've seen how it is when a women loves the man more and even though it's apparent he loves her, It's still not the same. Women are affectionate and loving creatures by nature, for some men that is much more special coming from their behavior.

 

[cocoberry10]

My grandmother raised me and my sisters with this belief; and I know from personal experience, it is true. There is nothing a man won't do for you, when he has placed you on a pedestal; And I much rather be placed on a pedestal than be placed as a doormat. The view is so much nicer up high.

I agree with this. However, I will say, I think you should have feelings for him too (I just think his should be more than yours)!

 

[cocoberry10]

love is not instant either. I do believe love for people develope over time. If someone instantly fell in love with you without knowing you would you take them seriously or for a fool. You grow to love someone as time goes by, because they are then showing you their true self.


Love developes in my book..

ETA: but of course you do have to have that attraction. Don't confuse the two.

Can you elaborate on the bolded? Do you mean physical or chemical attraction?

 

[cocoberry10]

My Dh says my love is like a light switch, I can turn it on and off at will.

Thats not true but I have learned to control what people see. I don't think you can control how much you love a person but you can control what they see in you. If that makes sense.

This makes a lot of sense!

 

[cocoberry10]

I didn't take her comment to mean that.

With me, I definitely would not and will not give my all w/o seeing the man's length he would go to for me. Just being honest. Being treated a certain way and developing a relationship with him enabled me to have a loving comfort zone to which I trusted more than I ever had, opened up more than I ever had, and gave more of myself than I would to anyone else. It's definitely something about that treatment, love, and admiration that made me feel like nothing I've ever felt and in turn I was able to give him my very best at everything. I don't think it had anything to do with being happy with myself, but it had everything to do with feeling absoluately awesome to be loved like that from someone I loved too.

Well said ClassyND

 

[TLC1020]

I am always being told that your mate should love and adore you more than you love and adore him.. That's exactly what I want, well I had that but didn't appreciate it back then but I definitley would appreciate it now.

 

[Lucie]

I am sure I posted to this thread already but I agree 100%. If you don't have a man into you more than him, you will be talking to your girlfriend about how come he can't call you after work? Or how come he never makes time for you? Trust me when I tell you a man could work 80+ a week and still make time for you if he IS into you. If not, it'll be heartbreak hotel for you.

I think men need a lot more going on to be happy in a relationship and if he is not absolutely crazy about you, your relationship will suffer or disintegrate. Look at Britney Spears (still Team Britney ) and countless other women who pursued men too hard. It doesn't work! It won't work for long either.

 

[gone_fishing]

I agree. I really do.

The logic behind "man should love women more" sounds good, but ONCE again it is placing most of the responsibilities on a man and basically saying that the man is the one who dictates the relationship-if he doesn't love a certain way then it is doomed. I think people are getting the notion that a man must love more versus a man loving a woman hard mixed up. I am all for BOTH parties loving hard, not just a man. The man is not the supreme being in the relationship (well atleast in my opinion). We BOTH are.

I am not saying that a man shouldn't love his woman with all his heart, I just don't understand after years and years of relationship books, counselors, articles, statistics, etc, we can't seem to grasp that there isn't one magic formula for a relationship. I just am not one to buy that a man should love you with all his heart soul (and wallet ) yet you are allowed to half-ass on the love portion. We women keep getting pulled into the okey doke with this stuff.

But once again, that's my opinion.

I agree. This is the best post I've read so far (IMO).

 

[Tallone]

I think the more the man showers you with unconditional love, the more you would love him and do the same.
Adequate you look different in every picture LOL

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I've heard this many times (from couples married 25 years - 47 years and a few in between) but I do not take it literally.