Ladies Who Married Strictly(Or Even Mostly) For Love, Would You Do It Again?

[barbiesocialite]

Well dang lol.

It's true.

Im not being shady. I just don't want anyone to be misled. There are a couple of posts throughout this thread where at present the authors would vehemently disagree with their own words.

 

[onyxdreams]

When I married we were both very young, so I did marry for love. I had no idea how difficult marriage could be. My husband and I are completely different people from when we met. I don't think we would be attracted to each other now. I miss the boy I married, as I'm sure he misses the girl I use to be.

If I had to get married again, it would be for companionship and money. It wouldn't be for love, I can love you and not be married to you. Marriage is more business, as your lives become entangled, there are the years invested, debt and retirement that are all really factors.

I have witnessed my MIL walk away from a marriage of 26yrs, only to leave with nothing. After battling her family, living through countless affairs and multiple children produced from affairs. She was left with severe depression,which has alienated her from children.

In my opinion, what I have learned is: one of the most important decision a woman will make is decidingwhich man to marry.

 

[movingforward13]

I married strictly for love and wanting a family, etc.
I would do it again. I couldn't marry just for money, just for connections, etc. However, I would need to like the person. Lots of people love but don't like the person they are with. When that love ebbs, I need the friendship to fall back on and carry us to the next flow. That genuine companionship can help us find our way back to love.

I do believe that you can learn to love someone.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

My coworker is dating a wonderful guy, helps her out with chores, money....Is the overall package except she doesn't have those type feelings for him. I little history on her. Young white girl, comes from wealthy family use to being beat up and cheated on. NOW, Im looking at this thinking WHAT WRONG WITH THIS GUY! Treats you great, throwing money at you and really loves you. He has a great future, owns his own home. BUT, she wanted to break up with him Thanksgiving weekend.

So, when she asked me what I thought I told her he seems like a great catch, well off, great future, loves her. Everything she said she wanted in a man except he not cheating on her and beating her butt (yes I told her this). She asked what about that feel you're suppose to have. I told her it was overrated and feelings can be developed. She would hate to dump this guy and wonder what if in 20 years.

She said she told her mother what I said and her mother said "she's right, I was in your situation when I started dating your father and choosing him was the best choice I ever made.

I was tickled to death when she told me that.

Ugh...I hate when women think this way....

I think our society has been conditioned to look for a "feeling" when it comes to love or marriage, but idk...maybe it's because I'm now in my 30's, I look for different things in a potential marriage mate now.

Don't get me wrong, I still want to be into the guy on some level, but now days I'm looking more for what TYPE of man he is (do we even get along? what are our values in life?), what type of life we could live together (can he provide? does his personality "mesh" with mine? ), and whether or not we have some of the same outlooks on life, goals, and expectations on what a marriage should be like.

I always say that it's easier to be married to someone who you respect, are genuinely friends with, and who is financially stable...

That mushy/romantic/cupid's arrow type of love feeling is great and wonderful, but it's kind of superficial. I wouldn't want "butterflies" or "chemistry" to be the main reason why I marry a man. I want to be excited about him (yes), but now days I'm looking for a man who is stable (both mentally and financially), ambitious, and is crazy about ME. I think I can even grow to love a man who I'm not all that "crazy" about if he is the aforementioned things....especially if we're friends and get along very well to begin with.



ETA: Ooops...didn't realize this thread was so OLD! Yikes lol

 

[movingforward13]

Interesting article http://www.businessinsider.com/i-po...l&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

 

[Fine 4s]

This article is honest and practical!
Thank you very much @movingforward13
I'm going to send it to my gf who recently got engaged.

 

[tibb1908]

I'm fighting between my past and my future. If I married again at this point I would marry for companionship, personality, and lust. Now. Logistically I know that this "passion" comes and goes quickly but I lost all the passion and chemistry we had and now I'm left with practical.

Good life. No complaints other than little things. And even though it's nice...I don't crave it, feel inspired by it, or appreciative of it. I long for passion, sparks, laughs, and multi-orgasmic sex. I might just look down the line later and say I'm stone crazy though. But this is my honest answer at this point.

Thanks! Most people aren't brave enough to be that honest.