Yes, because faithless, heartless, classless men are the ones who ruin most marriages. And also because I could not stay with a man whom I loved more than he loved me. I wouldn't feel secure.
"Your husband should love u more than you love him"
- Thread starter Crysdon
- Start date
Yep. I want to marry someone who loves God more than he loves me, and loves me more than he loves himself.
ETA - The above statement is just my general response but its gets a bit deeper, Ill try to explain. For women typically we are emotional, we get attached easily, we love HARD and we are nuturers. Men are more physical, logical, analytical. So in order to be evenly yoked, a man must truly adore his wife. I cant quite put into words what Im trying to say but I hope the point somehow got across.
I get ur point kels!!
princessnad
New Member
I think the love should be equal. It is difficult to find the right balance, but I think that is the ideal situation. I think the problem comes in the WAY we show our love. Women tend to be more affectionate and open with our love. Sometimes we need to reign that in because men tend to draw back when they are overwhelmed with too much affection. So I think your husband should show his love more than you do, but you should love each other equally.
FlowerHair
Reclaiming my time
I agree with this.
In most successful relationships that I have seen, the woman is the "boss". She might let him feel that he is the King, but in reality, she is in control of the relationship.
And not shower him with motherly affection and romantic nonsense all the time...
erokawa
New Member
I think balance is more important. Think about it. You can love someone with all your heart. So for him to love you MORE must mean that you don't love him with all your heart. I see it as... the two in the relationship should love each other equally but kind of fight to show more love? Kind of like fighting to be on top in the bedroom. Constantly trying to show more love than the other.
prettypuff1
New Member
I totally agree with the original statement. I'm married and I've been the one loving the other most. I have always thought that if I treated him like crap, I wouldn't be able to turn for him. However, I would tell myself that it would be the wrong thing to do. Now I realize that he has taken my kindness for weakness and has pretty much had his way in the relationship.
I have heard this statement many times before mostly from older individuals. I used to always say, no it should be 50/50 or I don't want to be with someone just because they love me if the feelings aren't the same. Over the last few months I have just realized what they meant by love the one who loves you more. It doesn't mean that you are not going to love that person, be attracted to the person etc.,
it just means that the person loves you so much that he he would never do anything to hurt you. That person is willing to work with you and work on your relationship because of their love for you. It's a good thing!
it just means that the person loves you so much that he he would never do anything to hurt you. That person is willing to work with you and work on your relationship because of their love for you. It's a good thing!barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
A guy friend (he's 28) just said this to be yesterday when I was complaining about needing some space from my SO. I thought it was the cutest thing, he said "a man should always love a woman more---she's just not supposed to know that"
ETA: my father has definitely loved my mother more than she loves him. IMO, sometimes I think he may love her too much.....
I think this is true.
I was reading the book "For Women Only" which is basically about understanding/loving men, and in the section where men were asked the one thing they want their wife to know, it was unanimously "how much I love her" and the wives responses were different; So I think it's natural.
I was reading the book "For Women Only" which is basically about understanding/loving men, and in the section where men were asked the one thing they want their wife to know, it was unanimously "how much I love her" and the wives responses were different; So I think it's natural.
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sbfairy
New Member
I sooooo agree with this. I am the first girl my husband has ever really truly loved. The minute we met he immediately pursued me. I had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't interested in another but he persisted. Before we ever became intimate he told me he loved me and introduced me to his entire family. We've been together for 10 years (married for 6 1/2). Everyday this man still tells me how much he loves me. I on the other hand love him but I'm not as demonstrative. I think the fact that I don't give him everything makes him continually work hard in/on our relationship.
CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
Great thread. As someone who's recently been dealt a serious blow, I see myself and my most heartbreaking relationships have fit the pattern of me loving the guy more.
Whenever I see happy couples, I always ask myself, "Why not me?" I've been praying and asking for insight and this thread helps and sheds light on some things.
But before I totally commit to this line of thinking I want a roll call. It's been 5 years since this thread started. The ladies that love their men equally, more or less; I want a head count.
Who's still married or in a long-term relationship?
Whenever I see happy couples, I always ask myself, "Why not me?" I've been praying and asking for insight and this thread helps and sheds light on some things.
But before I totally commit to this line of thinking I want a roll call. It's been 5 years since this thread started. The ladies that love their men equally, more or less; I want a head count.
Who's still married or in a long-term relationship?
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mieshashair
New Member
Britt
Well-Known Member
Yesssss, I def agree...
I know I replied in this thread already lol, but yeah I still feel the same way.
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Britt
Well-Known Member
I agree!!!!
My current SO is more into me than I him so far and I'm ok with that. One thing tho, I def do respect him. I can't say that for most guys I've been with or even have met. Of course I care about him, but in our short time I know he cares more. It's good to start off the relationship that way.
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CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
Does he know? Have you two discussed it? Or is this something that really needs to be discussed?
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Britt
Well-Known Member
CurlyMoo Ehhh, maybe he doesn't. He does know that I am nervous b/c I fear having another failed relationship and that fear (admittedly) has sorta put a damper on things for, but it has nothing to do with him. We spoke and he made a very good point, that I need to let go of the past and I have something good and I pretty much need to embrace it instead of constantly worrying.
Don't get me wrong, I definetely care about him and am attracted to him very much. I like him as a person. It's just that, this time around I'm not googoo gahgah and can't think straight. I don't have blinders over my eyes clouding my judgement b/c I'm soo into the person so quickly without really knowing them. I suspect that as time passes on, I will grow to fall in love and possibly love him dearly. Now, if in say 3+ months from now and I don't find myself falling in love with him, then I'd have reevaluate things a bit.
Let me add, I would never stay involved with someone who I don't really care for as a person or someone that I don't click with personality wise just b/c he's a really good guy. That's not the case with us, I genuinely like him as a person and we enjoy each other's company tremendously. I just don't have those butterfly feelings where I feel like I'm falling in love as yet. But that's b/c I know I have some guards up and issues that I need to work through first... working on them right now. I wouldn't want to lose him.
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
PBI, I don't think that's something you need to discuss.
Britt
Well-Known Member
PBI, I don't think that's something you need to discuss.
Yepppp!!!!! LOL !
Yeah, I think it's something to keep to yourself. There is no reason for a man to really hear you say this
.
Kindheart
Well-Known Member
Yup I agree,the only time I loved more I got hurt .listen to auntie ,she's giving some wisdom
ivyness
Well-Known Member
Those butterfly feelings are over rated. I love my FH with all my heart but he doesn't give me "butterflies". He makes me feel so happy, content and loving.
My first ***hole of a boyfriend, who took me years to get over, gave me butterflies and I thought(at the time) I was in love with him. I wasn't. I still think it might have just been gas*shrugs*.
Britt
Well-Known Member
! To the underlined, that's exactly how I feel about my SO. In due time, I hope to grow to love him dearly
Detroit2Dallas
New Member
I think this is true. I'm experiencing this right now. Its great. I'm not in love tho, but I care about him, hes in love and loves to please me and my girls.
Taleah2009
Well-Known Member
thanks just wasn't enough for the bolded! I have been questioning my feelings for my SO lately because I never had those "butterflies". But i am happy, content, and definitely feel loved. I was wondering if my feelings were invalid because I dont get the butterflies.
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