BGT
Well-Known Member
No I just don't know how to do that.
It's totally not instinctual. I need someone I can text and double check my actions with. 
caribeandiva
Human being
If you text him and he doesn't answer DON'T text him again or worse call him!!! Assume he's busy and will get back to you when he can. Besides you're a busy woman too with a full life who doesn't have time to keep checking her phone right? Men don't need reminders to call or text back. They. Are. Intelligent. Adults.No I just don't know how to do that.
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
you're not listening!
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
@BGT - I think the point is that you don't want to begin a relationship with you taking the initiative and him following along. If you step back and look at the big picture...
If you date and fall in love - do you eventually want him to propose? Or will you prod him into proposing and then he does it and you say "Yes".
If you two get married, do you want him to take the initiative and plan dates? Wouldn't you rather know right now that he's not that type?
Have you noticed how many wives complain that their husbands don't take the initiative? This didn't "just happen". These men had to be like that while dating.
Case in point: I was bored yesterday. My hubby asked if I wanted to go out. I said yes. I got ready, (looking super cute of course) and he took me to two of my favorite places without me asking or saying a thing. In fact, after enjoying the first place, he wanted to go to this all night dessert spot that I love...and I was hesitant, and then he pretty much "convinced" me that we should go. lol!
We had a great time, laughing and chatting.
I just sat back and let him drive me through our city. I complimented him sincerely on how well he navigates and handles his vehicle. His entire face lit up. DH was opening and closing doors for me all night...sigh. I loved every moment.
But if I had been the one to plan all of our dates and outings before marriage...this wouldn't be the case. IMO.
Each woman has to decide what is right for her, but I personally love the relationship I'm in. Custom made.
If you date and fall in love - do you eventually want him to propose? Or will you prod him into proposing and then he does it and you say "Yes".
If you two get married, do you want him to take the initiative and plan dates? Wouldn't you rather know right now that he's not that type?
Have you noticed how many wives complain that their husbands don't take the initiative? This didn't "just happen". These men had to be like that while dating.
Case in point: I was bored yesterday. My hubby asked if I wanted to go out. I said yes. I got ready, (looking super cute of course) and he took me to two of my favorite places without me asking or saying a thing. In fact, after enjoying the first place, he wanted to go to this all night dessert spot that I love...and I was hesitant, and then he pretty much "convinced" me that we should go. lol!
We had a great time, laughing and chatting.
I just sat back and let him drive me through our city. I complimented him sincerely on how well he navigates and handles his vehicle. His entire face lit up. DH was opening and closing doors for me all night...sigh. I loved every moment.
But if I had been the one to plan all of our dates and outings before marriage...this wouldn't be the case. IMO.
Each woman has to decide what is right for her, but I personally love the relationship I'm in. Custom made.
@BGT, @hopeful - I'm still young, but I believe in old fashioned advice. Been married 6+years and we dated for 1.5 years, engaged for 9 months give or take. I have tons of advice from real life experiences. Glad to help.
Dating for me was torture, because I knew he was the one immediately. No joke. He called his family the first day we met and said, "I found my wife." I learned that much later.
Been married 6+years and we dated for 1.5 years, engaged for 9 months give or take. I have tons of advice from real life experiences. Glad to help.Dating for me was torture, because I knew he was the one immediately. No joke. He called his family the first day we met and said, "I found my wife." I learned that much later.
@BGT - I think the point is that you don't want to begin a relationship with you taking the initiative and him following along. If you step back and look at the big picture...
If you date and fall in love - do you eventually want him to propose? Or will you prod him into proposing and then he does it and you say "Yes".
If you two get married, do you want him to take the initiative and plan dates? Wouldn't you rather know right now that he's not that type?
Have you noticed how many wives complain that their husbands don't take the initiative? This didn't "just happen". These men had to be like that while dating.
Case in point: I was bored yesterday. My hubby asked if I wanted to go out. I said yes. I got ready, (looking super cute of course) and he took me to two of my favorite places without me asking or saying a thing. In fact, after enjoying the first place, he wanted to go to this all night dessert spot that I love...and I was hesitant, and then he pretty much "convinced" me that we should go. lol!
We had a great time, laughing and chatting.
I just sat back and let him drive me through our city. I complimented him sincerely on how well he navigates and handles his vehicle. His entire face lit up. DH was opening and closing doors for me all night...sigh. I loved every moment.
But if I had been the one to plan all of our dates and outings before marriage...this wouldn't be the case. IMO.
Each woman has to decide what is right for her, but I personally love the relationship I'm in. Custom made.
Agreed. DH has planned every date and every vacation we've been on since we've been together. I love it. He knows me and he knows what I like, so he always plans things that he knows I will enjoy. Very thoughtful. I might mention to him that I've been wanting to try this or that, and he will put together a date for us. I always have a good time.
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
@BGT, @hopeful - I'm still young, but I believe in old fashioned advice.
Dating for me was torture, because I knew he was the one immediately. No joke. He called his family the first day we met and said, "I found my wife." I learned that much later.
Similar to my brother: he met his current wife at a friend's party. He wrote a poem about her on the way home that night.
Three years later he read it at their wedding
Flourishnikov
Somewhere Flourishing...
Yall setting the bar real high in here with these love stories...but the bar should be high though!! Lol Good luck, OP and make sure you continue dating other ppl. Dont give this dude too much of your energy. He can sense your urgency and may incorrectly read desperation. Let him think you have other suitors vying for your attention and maybe even decline his next invitation or tell him ur not available until next week. Most importantly...KEEP US POSTED!!
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
This thread is so cute! Good Luck OP!!
CaraWalker
Well-Known Member
i love a girl who's open to notes.So I stopped texting him and started texting another guy and after a few hours he started blowing up my phone.
Godsdaughter001
Well-Known Member
Similar to my brother: he met his current wife at a friend's party. He wrote a poem about her on the way home that night.
Three years later he read it at their wedding
Omg.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
BGT
Well-Known Member
The dinner was fun. We had 30 minutes to chat beforehand and we played "this or that" to get to know each other. I discovered he doesn't like cats or steak. I love cats and steak. 
When I got home, he said we didn't discuss what changed, in his words. I guess he's cautious and wary which I honestly understand.
When I got home, he said we didn't discuss what changed, in his words. I guess he's cautious and wary which I honestly understand.
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