Dating Woes: First Date, Guy Asks To Pick Him Up..

[Menina Preta]

I'm not disgusted that he doesn't have a car, I'm disgusted that he asked me for a favor so soon. Don't ask me for ish on a the first date or ever

Wow. Alright then. What did Whipz used to say...I kid .

Also, confused by folks suggesting that the dude rent a car for a date. He could've re-scheduled, but he probably didn't want to come off as flaky.

 

[meesch]

What a loser. Drop him. It can only go down from here.

if thats what happened on the first date theres no reason to suppose anything would ever be any better

 

[pookaloo83]

Wow. Alright then. What did Whipz used to say...I kid .

.........

 

[DrC]

Then, as we were leaving Wal Mart he asked me for $5 for a bag of weed. ----

that ain't even good weed he over here begging to buy some skank weed. you should have left his arse in Wal-Mart.

 

[PopLife]

Deleted *double post*

 

[PeaceFlow]

The gif had me busting out laughing.

The way he throws his head back at end kills me

 

[PopLife]

Here you go....

if thats what happened on the first date theres no reason to suppose anything would ever be any better

What did she say...I'm lost....

 

[Shiks]

I wouldn't let myself be alone with a stranger in my car. My safety comes before any date. Reschedule or let it go.

 

[divya]

You did the right thing. He could have rented a car.

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

girl, hell no. what kinda man asks a woman to pick him up for the first date? men are just not ashamed anymore.

This reminds me of a story my grandma told me of her brother. It would be a 100 + humid day, but he'd drive around with the windows rolled up because he wanted people/women to think he was mackin' and had air conditioning. He'd be sweaty and soaked, but pride wouldn't let him roll those windows down.

Men of yesteryear SMASH on men today.

 

[diadall]

I would have said I was taking a cab myself.

 

[mech]

This reminds me of a story my grandma told me of her brother. It would be a 100 + humid day, but he'd drive around with the windows rolled up because he wanted people/women to think he was mackin' and had air conditioning. He's sweat and be soaked, but pride wouldn't let him roll those windows down.

Men of yesteryear SMASH on men today.

lmao!

 

[kismettt]

So I had a date scheduled for tonight and the guy sent me a message asking if I could pick him up since his brother has his truck (claims his brother just had a baby which that part is true and that he had his other kids with him and needed a bigger vehicle). Nevertheless I was turned the hell off..why is he asking me for favors already? There are cabs, buses and trains..and your feet I basically told him that I don't know him like that and I'm not comfortable letting ppl I don't know in my car.

Am I mean or wrong for being disgusted?

i'd be like, "...i don't know you". i never get in a guy's car on the first date (actually once when we decided to go bowling after dinner ). but i'm def not having you pick me up/me pick you up. find a way/reschedule/get a car.

my friend had a date with this guy and he asked her to pick him up. and she was like, "...no". and he flipped out on her, called her shallow/said it was a test/talked about how he really had a bmw/etc.

i was

 

[Arcadian]

So I had a date scheduled for tonight and the guy sent me a message asking if I could pick him up since his brother has his truck (claims his brother just had a baby which that part is true and that he had his other kids with him and needed a bigger vehicle). Nevertheless I was turned the hell off..why is he asking me for favors already? There are cabs, buses and trains..and your feet I basically told him that I don't know him like that and I'm not comfortable letting ppl I don't know in my car.

Am I mean or wrong for being disgusted?

Girl.....


You are not wrong, and I would be mean as hell because dude would get seriously clowned and he would NOT be getting another chance.

First impressions are serious business!

If he's starting off like this, he's a miss. Sure it could be legit (i'm just doubting it to be so), but this is the wrong foot to be starting on.

I hope you told him never mind.

-A

 

[calliope]

Lmao! Right. For the next date his car is going to be "in the shop"

This! And then he'll be asking to "borrow" your car dropping you off and **** so he can ride around all day in it.

 

[greight]

Hmm, I kinda think you overreacted. Let me put it out there that I now live in the walking/subway part of my city and don't own a car, but the part of the city where I grew up, most people drive. If a man has an issue with their car, it isn't frowned upon if the woman picks the man up. I remember I used to date this dude when I was living at home and I picked him up or drove over to his house a few times, b/c he didn't have a car (he commuted to work via subway). It wasn't that big of a deal to me...He had a valid reason not to have a car, IMO.

That's NYC though. I agree with you, it isn't a deal breaker in this situation since most people don't really drive. I don't think not having a car is a common thing through out the U.S (not knowing where OP lives anyway). Maybe in the major cities only.

In the OP's situation, I just don't know why he and his brother wouldn't trade cars if it was all about size and trading it in. He didn't say his brother's car is broke. That's where I'm kinda erplexed

 

[naturalmanenyc]

calliope

Why did I just picture Tyrese and Taraji from that movie "Baby Boy" when he is late picking her up for work since he kept HER car overnight at HIS mother's house.

This! And then he'll be asking to "borrow" your car dropping you off and **** so he can ride around all day in it.

 

[FelaShrine]

Wow. Alright then. What did Whipz used to say...I kid .

irony is I highly doubt whipz would give the time of day

 

[sj10460]

Devil's advocate here: This is why black men say black women are difficult and have attitudes. Rent a car? Like it isn't THAT serious. Clearly dude wanted to see OP that's why he didn't cancel the date. He was honest letting you know what was going on instead of just saying something came up, can't make it peace!

OP I'm assuming that you know that he really has a car? If so, I wouldn't write him off just yet unless you just think it's totally taking for a man to ask a woman for anything

 

[FelaShrine]

^because a white women would be so open to such BS?

 

[qchelle]

If I knew for a fact that he had a car, it wouldn't be a big deal to me at all. I have a car; I don't mind driving sometimes. If I really wanted to see him and he couldn't get me because of a good reason, I would have absolutely no problem picking him up. He wouldn't get points taken off.for that, even if it was a first date. I don't care.... **** happens lol.

Now, if he didn't have a car, period? That's very different. I can't do dudes with no car. I can't drive ALL the time. That's just too much damn driving for me lol.

But if you're of the opinion that no man should ever ask you for a 'favor' ever.......then yea, I understand why you're so upset lol.

 

[sj10460]

^because a white women would be so open to such BS?

....OP said she told him in a diplomatic way that she didn't feel comfortable with his proposal and that's fine. My response was directed at those suggesting dude rent a car or "clowning" him because he asked OP to give him a lift because he lent his car out. That's just mad extra. And assuming that things will only get worse because something came up.

I swear some of you ladies here (general you) must live really miserable lives, so uptight. Take the stick out and relax. Stop complaining when black men date outside of their race. Some black women make the biggest deals out of small ish.

 

[RocStar]

Devil's advocate here: This is why black men say black women are difficult and have attitudes. Rent a car? Like it isn't THAT serious. Clearly dude wanted to see OP that's why he didn't cancel the date. He was honest letting you know what was going on instead of just saying something came up, can't make it peace!

OP I'm assuming that you know that he really has a car? If so, I wouldn't write him off just yet unless you just think it's totally taking for a man to ask a woman for anything

I don't think it is being difficult or having an attitude to expect a first date to be a certain way. There are a lot of variables at play, but who knows if he was being honest or not. It was their first date...trust has not been built yet.

Could he have not said, let's meet at the location? Or why couldn't he use his brother's smaller car? And really, renting a car does not cost that much.

Without knowing all the details it is hard to say, but to me, this does not meet the level of having attitude or being difficult. But, hey, if a Black man thinks that in this situation, then he is just one Black man I won't date. I am not writing off the whole community of Black men because of one man's actions.

 

[FelaShrine]

....OP said she told him in a diplomatic way that she didn't feel comfortable with his proposal and that's fine. My response was directed at those suggesting dude rent a car or "clowning" him because he asked OP to give him a lift because he lent his car out. That's just mad extra. And assuming that things will only get worse because something came up.

I swear some of you ladies here (general you) must live really miserable lives, so uptight. Take the stick out and relax. Stop complaining when black men date outside of their race. Some black women make the biggest deals out of small ish.

all that and yet none of it answers my question

Have a good one.

 

[sj10460]

I don't think it is being difficult or having an attitude to expect a first date to be a certain way. There are a lot of variables at play, but who knows if he was being honest or not. It was their first date...trust has not been built yet.

Could he have not said, let's meet at the location? Or why couldn't he use his brother's smaller car? And really, renting a car does not cost that much.

Without knowing all the details it is hard to say, but to me, this does not meet the level of having attitude or being difficult. But, hey, if a Black man thinks that in this situation, then he is just one Black man I won't date. I am not writing off the whole community of Black men because of one man's actions.

I didn't say OP had an attitude. I actually understand her level of concern. It was the other posters responses that I was replying to.
Like clown him for what? What's the point in being rude?

 

[Menina Preta]

irony is I highly doubt whipz would give the time of day

Everyone has their deal breakers. To me, this isn't one of them (and ya, I live somewhere where most folks don't have cars, so my priorities are different). However, the attitude of a man not asking for a "favor" on the first date or ever just sounds entirely unrealistic.

 

[sj10460]

all that and yet none of it answers my question

Have a good one.

If you can't read the magenta, you can hover over the text and it might become more legible

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

No you are right. Absolutely shameless, he should have been there and not complained even if he had to walk 5 miles to get to you.
I can see more and more that men no longer see women as prizes , so sad

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

I'm not disgusted that he doesn't have a car, I'm disgusted that he asked me for a favor so soon. Don't ask me for ish on a the first date or ever

Exactly...

 

[FelaShrine]

However, the attitude of a man not asking for a "favor" on the first date or ever just sounds entirely unrealistic.

why? In the beginning dudes are trying to impress, how is he telling he doesnt KNOW(again 1st date) to come pick him up? what kinda shameless BS is that?

cultural differences I guess cos that ish aint normal