***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

[Victoria44]

Me and my bestfriend since freshman year of high school (i'm a junior in college now) have finally taken our relationship to the next step and it is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.

i was always so scared that it would be awkward and weird to be with my friend, but i truly feel like we're friends in a relationship. NOT "friends with benefits"

EVERYTHING is the same, except now i can kiss him as much as i want

He's been in love with me for years, and i've been waiting for "the right guy" all this time, and just ignored the obvious signs. he adores me, and i've NEVER felt sooo at ease and secure in a relationship before him..

I just had to share. We've only been together for a month and change, but its just such an amazing feeling knowing for sure that the person your with truly cares for you. he'll always be my best friend first, before anything else *_* (starry eyed lol)

 

[Etherealsmile]

I wish I had a group of 2 or 3 female friends to dress up with and go out..I feel frisky and social right now and would love to go and just have a nice time.If a dude approached that was nice looking I would possible respond..Im just feeling glam.

GoddessMaker, are you bold enough to go out alone? After being let down so many times ( i haven't even been here for up to 2 months!) i'm not depending on people anymore to enjoy my life. I went out on Thursday by myself and i am so glad i did. i got to meet a woman who was the innovator/creator of 2 of the most popular spots on campus. So if you can, do it alone, otherwise you'd waste so many years of your life waiting/wishing you had a few girlfriends to go out with for a fun time. i'm realizing i need to live my life on my terms...girlfriends or no girlfriends...

 

[CarLiTa]

CarLiTa Yeah, that's kinda weird but I mean, drinking makes people do weird things Your friends will probably just clown you about it a little. Someone should have left with you. How did you get home?

Sigh... I hope they'll all be too drunk to remember
Oh, and that's the thing, I only knew one of them fairly well. Had only met these other people that night. These 2 guys who were hoping to exchange numbers with me seemed very disappointed, but that's another story.
I took a cab home.

CarLiTa Please quit being so hard on yourself. If you had thrown up on everyone in the limo or just thrown up in front of them you would really have been embarrassed. It is not a big deal that you got out because you weren't feeling well. I would have done the same thing. When my stomach gets upset I always need fresh air.

Thanks, hopeful. I definitely would have been suuuper embarrassed I don't even know what it feels like to throw up, but I sometimes *think* it's going to happen and kinda freak out. The fresh air helped a LOT. I considered waiting until we got to our location, but it seemed like there was too much traffic, so I was like ugh, let me just head out.

 

[CarLiTa]

I went to the pre-party event alone. closest friends were out of town, and one is just too unreliable to rely on... so, I went to show face and show support.
As soon I was walked in, I was introduced to a bunch of guys and thought: crap, am I the only girl here?!... luckily, I was wrong. There was another one, and 2 more came soon after.
I'd noticed that 2 of the guys seemed 'intrigued' as soon I walked in. These days, I find that I pick up on that more easily than in the past, but I don't know if that's a coincidence. It's not like they're giving me some kind of inappropriate look, more like an 'intrigued' look as we talk about mundane things. Anyway, we chatted here and there during the night.
One was black, and didn't sound like he'd been to college... well, I think that bc he kept avoiding the question. The other one was the whitest white person (in color lol) of the room.
White guy and I start talking randomly at some point, and I'm thinking... "is this the white-guy flirting method?" ask a bunch of questions about random things and then suggest that you exchange numbers. I thought it was hilarious that he says he's really into outdoorsy stuff made me think back to my thread in OT a week ago. I said I would love to go camping, but I've never been. So, he was like ooh, well maybe I can take you next year but... we'd have to exchange #s for that.
Later on, he wanted to know if I visit NY a lot and kept suggesting that I should. I said I'd let him know if I do... he again mentioned that we'd need to exchange #s... I said we could do that at a later time, bc it was weird to do it in that setting.

I don't know why, but ever since this mutual friend *wrongly* said that I like male attention (bc I wasn't coldly turning down a few guys who were interested in me), I have felt self-conscious when hanging out with that group. It turns out one of their friends is usually interested, but I feel weird exchanging my number with people associated with that group. I don't know why I care

Anyway, I suggested to the white guy that I might give him my number later. He was really cute, actually. He has dimples, and I really like those. And he had rhythm But as I said earlier, I left abruptly, and he was asking me to stay... said something about how it's the wrong way to start a friendship... but I dipped anyway

The black guy at one point told me that he was reserving a dance... I found that a little forward, but eh, not like I'll see him again.

 

[texasqt]

All the couples at the wedding last night made me a little sad. I did meet a single guy from Ohio but I already have one LD-friend :-/ I wish Smoke (that's Florida's nickname) was here.
Hohumm...


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[rafikichick92]

Etherealsmile, GoddessMaker: What do you guys do when you go out? I'm going to start going out on the weekends and I need some ideas of where to go. I'm already planning to go swing dancing and salsa dancing, but I'd like other ideas of where you ladies go. Thanks in advance!

 

[Etherealsmile]

@Etherealsmile, @GoddessMaker: What do you guys do when you go out? I'm going to start going out on the weekends and I need some ideas of where to go. I'm already planning to go swing dancing and salsa dancing, but I'd like other ideas of where you ladies go. Thanks in advance!

rafikichick92 i just Now as in literally as of yesterday decided to start going out alone. I went on Thursday to a campus bar and was there by myself for about an hour until the rest of the crew showed up so that doesn't count. I'm very new to the area so i don't have many ideas on where i'd go just yet. I do know things i want to do though, the first being swing dancing as one of the computer science students taught me some moves yesterday and i was blown away! I'm most likely going this thursday for my first class.

I'm going to start taking cooking classes. They have one in my building on Fridays and I feel it is a great way to meet new people. Wine tasting is something that happens periodically out here so i'm going to start attending wine tasting events.

once i get more information on what other things i can do around here i'll definitely update and mention you. As of now i'm still building my list of to do things

 

[lushcoils]

CarLiTa's,

If you don't mind sharing, what kinds of parties are you going to where guys talk and ask you out/show interest?

At first, I was hesitant in going to parties to meet men, but supposedly men go there to meet women often. The problem is that when I go with my one black girlfriend, we go to parties as in clubs where it's too loud, crowded, messy, and the men are too aggressive and lame. When I go with my one white girlfriend to white clubs, the wm are too afraid to approach. And again, it's too loud to talk and most of the men are sloppy with their drinks. When I go more smaller casual intimate house parties with my cohort, yes, the environment is much more social, but the men there aren't showing interest and asking women out.

I figure maybe I'm going to wrong kind of parties??

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

rafikichick92 I haven't started yet in the social realm.I live alone and do most things alone anyway like shopping and have eaten alone as well.But going out to a club or something is weird for me as I just don't want to look lame..I don't know where to go out to either.

Now if I had more money I would feel a bit better going out.I also would like to do some cooking classes and possible a dance class even though I'm not elegant at all..I hope to do something soon though bc this being at home alone all weekend is getting boring as it was cool when I moved in my own spot in Aug Im now over it.

 

[Incognitus]

@rafikichick92 I haven't started yet in the social realm.I live alone and do most things alone anyway like shopping and have eaten alone as well.But going out to a club or something is weird for me as I just don't want to look lame..I don't know where to go out to either.

Now if I had more money I would feel a bit better going out.I also would like to do some cooking classes and possible a dance class even though I'm not elegant at all..I hope to do something soon though bc this being at home alone all weekend is getting boring as it was cool when I moved in my own spot in Aug Im now over it.

Don't worry about not being elegant, because dance class will help with that. Just adding my 2 cents.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Incognitus your right I'm just a perfectionist and don't like to put myself out there if I can't master it right off the back..esp when it comes to being seen by the opposite sex I don't want to appear to be the misfit as those who are gracefully will have the upper hand to a degree..it takes a certain type of straight guy to do dance classes..

 

[Etherealsmile]

@CarLiTa's,

If you don't mind sharing, what kinds of parties are you going to where guys talk and ask you out/show interest?

At first, I was hesitant in going to parties to meet men, but supposedly men go there to meet women often. The problem is that when I go with my one black girlfriend, we go to parties as in clubs where it's too loud, crowded, messy, and the men are too aggressive and lame. When I go with my one white girlfriend to white clubs, the wm are too afraid to approach. And again, it's too loud to talk and most of the men are sloppy with their drinks. When I go more smaller casual intimate house parties with my cohort, yes, the environment is much more social, but the men there aren't showing interest and asking women out.

I figure maybe I'm going to wrong kind of parties??

Being on a college campus makes this so much easier for me. lushcoils, are you in college by chance? I'm not sure if there are other universities set up like mine...we have more than a few bars on campus from the chill laid back, conversational bars to the lounge type bars to the dance club type bars.

I've noticed that the more I go out the more the wm are slowly starting to approach. The numbers are not up there yet but they're higher than before. Just yesterday while walking with a friend, one approached me and gave me a random hi-five out of nowhere! On Friday while walking back to my car another struck up a conversation with me even though he was walking with what i presume was his gf because they were holding hands..that was awkward

just yesterday I saw several wm/bw couples at the bar i was in. I'm quite shocked because this combination seems so rare to me at least here on campus...i daily see more than 10 bm/ww or non-bw couples but the number of the bw/wm or non-bm couples i'm seeing is also slowly increasing.

On Friday when i went out, i saw this wm hitting on a bw hardcore! I was shocked she was with about 2 of them and one was going in on the flirting lol. Have you ever tried striking up a conversation with a white guy you thought was cute? I know for me, if i just say hi and smile if we're in an elevator or somewhere in close proximity, that usually lets them take the lead from there. I'm not saying to chase anyone so please don't take my comments as such

 

[Etherealsmile]

@Incognitus your right I'm just a perfectionist and don't like to put myself out there if I can't master it right off the back..esp when it comes to being seen by the opposite sex I don't want to appear to be the misfit as those who are gracefully will have the upper hand to a degree..it takes a certain type of straight guy to do dance classes..

Shake it off GoddessMaker, i feel you might be over thinking right now

Imagine this with me.

My first swing dance "lesson" was at a bar last night, i was the only black person at that bar i'd never taken swing dancing lessons before and i was dancing in the presence of literally over 200 people. This is not a dance type bar either mind you although a few folks were dancing, the majority were just enjoying conversation and their drinks. I felt a brief moment of being uncomfortable but when that guy took me into his arms and started masterfully guiding me around, i completely forgot other people were around and i had so much fun in those few minutes.

Another thing...i'd just met this guy that night through a friend so add all those things up and see how uncomfortable i could've been but i said *** it and went with the experience. I'm so glad i did. I'm trying my hardest not to over think anymore and just LIVE life!

 

[lushcoils]

Etherealsmile

Yes, we have bars around campus, but most of them are centered around undergrads (18 (with fake ids) -21 year students). I don't mind going every now and then if I'm bored, but nothing comes out of them because they are very crowded and sloppy. Your wm approaches and bw/wm couplings on campus are a lot higher than mine! Don't even ask my amount.

I have to go farther off campus to find different types of bars, but I'm not sure where the lounge casual cleaner diverse bars for the 21+ over crowd are located. If anyone in the DMV area has any recommendations, let me know.

 

[rafikichick92]

@GoddessMaker, @Etherealsmile, @lushcoils

Hmm. At my school we don't have bars on campus and I'm under 21 soo ... But either way, I guess I'll have to start hanging out more in the student center, doing what I'm not sure. This just seems so awkward. I mean, do I just get some food, sit down and eat and look pretty and try talking to people? My brother would say yes, that's what normal people do, but that just sounds like voluntary torture to me. I'd almost rather get a shot of novocaine and have some cavities filled. Ugh, I hate being shy.

ETA: Or I could go to the bookstore and do the above song and dance. At least I feel comfortable there. Hmm. I need a pickup line/conversation starter. Hmmm ...

 

[SweetNic_JA]

I'm so upset with you right now. I cannot believe you reacted the way you did on Friday. It was totally uncalled for - even childish. At your age I was not expecting that behavior. This trip did not end the way I would have ever imagined it to end. I think we are over. . . I cannot marry someone who handles things the way you do; unless some serious adjustments are made.

 

[lushcoils]

@GoddessMaker, @Etherealsmile, @lushcoils

Hmm. At my school we don't have bars on campus and I'm under 21 soo ... But either way, I guess I'll have to start hanging out more in the student center, doing what I'm not sure. This just seems so awkward. I mean, do I just get some food, sit down and eat and look pretty and try talking to people? My brother would say yes, that's what normal people do, but that just sounds like voluntary torture to me. I'd almost rather get a shot of novocaine and have some cavities filled. Ugh, I hate being shy.

ETA: Or I could go to the bookstore and do the above song and dance. At least I feel comfortable there. Hmm. I need a pickup line/conversation starter. Hmmm ...

Lol, right. Every now and then I leave my office, to go eat lunch at the student center as people suggest it's a great way to meet people. Um, everyone there is hovered around their group of friends. I'm supposed to meet people using this method, how again? Because they are not going to approach. Whatever. I just eat my food and people watch.

 

[Etherealsmile]

Lol, right. Every now and then I leave my office, to go eat lunch at the student center as people suggest its a great way to meet people. Um, everyone there is hovered around their group of friends. I'm supposed to meet people using this method, how again? Because they are not going to approach. Whatever. I just eat my food and people watch.

yeah that is pretty uncomfortable. I went out to dinner Thursday evening by myself at Noodles and Company on campus and it was ok, i chatted with the guy who served me up but i don't necessarily think this is a great way to meet new people like you said. Folks are clustered with their friends and are generally not interested in meeting new people in such a setting.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Etherealsmile I don't think over thinking just analytical.I like to take calculated risk.Like the cooking classes seem fun bc I can cook so at least I won't burn everything..Im the thinker and the one who likes to put on the best show so I have to like know what I'm doing before jumping out there..

Ah why won't a guy just fall at my door step..just a fantasy.

I desire the man who loves me more than I do him as I have never expericed being lavished on as some women always encounter.

I desire the man who gives all he can in all the areas of life as I can actually follow behind his leadership.

I desire the man who sees me as woman a equal person without feeling burdened.I desire a true thinker who captivates my soul and it ignites every time I hear his name..I don't want the showy man bc that is the man who doesn't desire me.

I'm tired of having such a fundamentally flawed pov on men and desiring the type of men who will never want me and are unobtainable..

 

[barbiesocialite]

I'm glad you assume I can't cook....shows how much you know, I just won't cook for you!

you pay for the dates, you cookin the meals... gon' head and do whatcha do pimpin'

 

[Skyfall]

ugh, you think your safe cuz that family friend of yours is old and matronly, HA he'll fluck her too....smh.

 

[NaeChail]

Is starting to realize that even though I love him and we have 5.5 years together, (many of them cohabitating) idk if I can spend the rest of my life with him without losing my mind....or changing lots of things about myself....which I'm not willing to do. And trying to change him is STUPID, so that's not an option.....

Sent from my Droid Incredible

 

[nissi]

This is going nowhere and can do neither of us an ounce of good. Apologies accepted and past forgotten. So let's forget about what could have been and move forward from here. I forgive you and release you. Praying that you enjoy your life as we both move on. I will enjoy mine.

Also, to the other one, not.checking.for.you.at.all unless the Lord says otherwise...so please go sit down.

 

[RarityFluttershy]

I'm So Convinced My Future Husband Is Not In The United States.

 

[barbiesocialite]

@Etherealsmile I don't think over thinking just analytical.I like to take calculated risk.Like the cooking classes seem fun bc I can cook so at least I won't burn everything..Im the thinker and the one who likes to put on the best show so I have to like know what I'm doing before jumping out there..

Ah why won't a guy just fall at my door step..just a fantasy.

I desire the man who loves me more than I do him as I have never expericed being lavished on as some women always encounter.

I desire the man who gives all he can in all the areas of life as I can actually follow behind his leadership.

I desire the man who sees me as woman a equal person without feeling burdened.I desire a true thinker who captivates my soul and it ignites every time I hear his name..I don't want the showy man bc that is the man who doesn't desire me.

I'm tired of having such a fundamentally flawed pov on men and desiring the type of men who will never want me and are unobtainable..

I relate to this post a lot

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I'm So Convinced My Future Husband Is Not In The United States.

The more time goes by the more I believe this too. I don't see it as a bad thing though.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Going through one of these times when I feel like I'll be alone forever; that I'm some weirdo because of what I want and how I see things. It doesn't help when I have guys calling me wanting to go out and I turn them down because I'm not interested. Makes me wonder if I'm asking too much.

 

[tinkat]

I feeling better today, I am thankful for that. Time to really focus on myself.

 

[chocolat79]

I'm So Convinced My Future Husband Is Not In The United States.

I totally used to feel that way. The only reason I don't now is because I *think* I've met him. But if not the current SO, then I will go back to the above sentiment.

 

[tinkat]

I totally used to feel that way. The only reason I don't now is because I *think* I've met him. But if not the current SO, then I will go back to the above sentiment.

I feel like my husband is going to be someone I already know. But who reallys knows?