***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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lushcoils said:
Welcome to my world. :look:

Well, atleast you know where to go to change things.
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:nono::nono: lushcoils Its an awful feeling I'll tell you that. I do know one thing though, i'm never moving back to MA. Although I had more play there, i hate that state with a passion:lol:. I'm hoping to end up in a more progressive, diverse city when i graduate, i can't deal with these small town mentalities:spinning:
 
Preach! These east coast men are crap. I miss my Midwest men, too. Ohio, Detroit and Chicago have some amazing REAL men.

Etherealsmile said:
This is so strange:lol: i'm not used to such timid men, why aren't they approaching? I swear moving to this small arsed town is starting to get on my nerves. I miss being in Chicago, the men there acted like real men, approached, chatted with you like a lady. the guys on campus? hmpfh:nono:

Let me not even get on the case of the black men here:lol:, maybe its just my perception but I'm not getting any play from them. The small amount of play i'm getting is from white or non-black men. The brothers out here are so attractive but i'll be damned if i'm going to approach you when i've given every indication of being open and receptive to your advances. Wait, maybe i'm just the wrong skin color:lol:

Darn i miss Massachusetts, I guess i didn't know how good i had it until i moved out here. Why does Chi town have to be so far away from me? bleh:spinning:. I can't exactly afford to go out there every weekend. Gas prices are still ridiculous out here:nono:.

I guess its a good thing my next two months will be so busy, otherwise i'd be starting to wonder what the heck was wrong with me. I very well know its not me, its them. What a strange batch of men:look:
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lushcoils you know what I did? Just to see if i still had "it" or if i'd somehow lost my appeal by being off the market for so long, I created an online profile and set my location as New York, NY and they came flocking:perplexed. So I know its not me, I never knew how important location played in these things.

I remember reading your threads and wondering how could you be having so many issues with men not approaching? Now that i'm in the same boat I can say I know exactly how you feel and it sucks:lol:. Welp at least I know i haven't lost my appeal, that soothed my ego somewhat ROTFL:lachen:
 
Etherealsmile said:
@lushcoils you know what I did? Just to see if i still had "it" or if i'd somehow lost my appeal by being off the market for so long, I created an online profile and set my location as New York, NY and they came flocking:perplexed. So I know its not me, I never knew how important location played in these things.

I remember reading your threads and wondering how could you be having so many issues with men not approaching? Now that i'm in the same boat I can say I know exactly how you feel and it sucks:lol:. Welp at least I know i haven't lost my appeal, that soothed my ego somewhat ROTFL:lachen:
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Lol, yup. It's very discouraging. I have to fight to stay positive. I tried changing my profile to New York, and the men still didn't come flocking. :lol: Oh well, I can't really do anything about it.
 
Ex-SO's bestfriend from childhood is getting married this weekend. How I know? Ex-SO himself texted me out of the blue to tell me (and that he is in their town for the wedding) and is also asking many random and inquisitive questions about my day.

I met this best-friend exactly 1.5 years ago, and he hadn't even met his fiancee yet. It's super sweet. Since they started dating, he seemed absolutely smitten with her.

So, basically 2 of my ex's 3 best friends have gotten engaged and married in the past...6 months. I wonder how that makes him feel:look: (well, mostly, I wonder why he's texting me so much today. We've been keeping conversation either extra short or non-existent the past 3 months).

See, when our relationship began to take a sour turn, and he was crushed that his mistake could lead to him losing me (and it did), he supposedly started having frank conversations with his best friends and other guys... letting them know to hold on tight to a good thing, and to try their hardest not to mess it up.

According to him, one of his roommates and his girlfriend was in a similar situation as he and I were (the sour turn), and had broken up. After some time, after working out their issues, they got back together, and the roommate proposed to the girlfriend immediately. That roommate told my ex that he used the advice my ex gave him to recapture and keep that good thing.

The only remaining single guy among my ex's best friends had a conversation with me about 6 months ago. He told me that he wishes that he felt for someone the way my ex feels about me.
Ex-SO also told me that he advised a younger male friend of his not to stall with this girl he was really into... not to wait to be exclusive and be public about his attachment to her. The guy took his advice, it seems.

Frankly, I don't know how to process these stories. Am I to feel flattered?:ohwell::nono: Because, uh, he should have had all these epiphanies much much sooner if he wanted to keep me. And I am not sure I care anymore, TBH.

As for him, I really do wonder how he feels... does he feel good that others are learning from his mistake and forming happy unions? Does he have remorse all over again? Hm.
 
butter_pecan said:
I grew up in the D and went on dates with a lot of quality guys: Artist, journalist, accountant, government worker, factory worker...all were nice and wanted to commit. They were on average 3-8 years older than me.
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I must be going to the wrong venues. I haven't been lucky in the D....not at all. Then again, I'm not really actively looking.
 
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Even though his mom loves me, my fiance feels unsatisfied. I literally work every single day now, over 60 hours a week, and he complains about never getting to spend time with me. I'm frustrated too. I work all the time and I don't even make half of what I made stripping.

I quit the job because he couldn't handle it, now he has the nerve to say that he misses how sexy and fun I used to be.
 
rolleyes.gif
at the ex inviting me out to watch the fight tonight for a "peace offering"

should i go and show him what he's missing?
unsure.gif


Can I handle seeing him again?
 
Why are getting found by a man a decent upstanding citizen so hard.Why is it those who are in relationships lose the sensitivity they once had when they were single? Why am I 25 without any man not even a lover to play with? When will I get swept off my feet and loved or does that not happen until Im perfect.
 
GoddessMaker said:
Why are getting found by a man a decent upstanding citizen so hard.Why is it those who are in relationships lose the sensitivity they once had when they were single? Why am I 25 without any man not even a lover to play with? When will I get swept off my feet and loved or does that not happen until Im perfect.
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You're gorgeous and seem really nice, so I dunno either hon :ohwell:
 
"Swear this man is begging me to leave him..."

Perhaps if I ignore everything you say, and just watch your actions, this will be easier.

Sent from my MyTouch 4G
 
At the right time, say three- four months down the road Imma spill it all, my friend.

The pivot has begun, and you have only yourself to blame..

Nothing I despise more than a weak-knee man piece. NOTHING
 
Ok I think I have a good idea for your bday. Ladies what do you think?

Romantic dinner (cooked at home)
Jazz club (loves Jazz)
Gift basket with special treats including something he said he wanted a while back...

If you guys have done anything special that you dont mind sharing, please do. I'm open to more ideas.
 
GoddessMaker said:
Why are getting found by a man a decent upstanding citizen so hard.Why is it those who are in relationships lose the sensitivity they once had when they were single? Why am I 25 without any man not even a lover to play with? When will I get swept off my feet and loved or does that not happen until Im perfect.
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Its definitely not based on being perfect. I know a girl that's a hot mess in every sense of the word that got married yesterday. She's loud, annoying, hair never looks combed, and the list goes on. My homeboys say its only a matter of time before he leaves her, but personally if she can find love I know like hayle I can....and so will you without being "perfect".

Sent from my HTC Glacier using HTC Glacier
 
JFemme said:
At the right time, say three- four months down the road Imma spill it all, my friend.

The pivot has begun, and you have only yourself to blame..

Nothing I despise more than a weak-knee man piece. NOTHING
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Whatever is going on, I wish you the best. (((hugs)))
 
GoddessMaker said:
Why are getting found by a man a decent upstanding citizen so hard.Why is it those who are in relationships lose the sensitivity they once had when they were single? Why am I 25 without any man not even a lover to play with? When will I get swept off my feet and loved or does that not happen until Im perfect.
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I struggle with this as well. I have been told maybe you aren't ready multiple times. However the people in healthy relationships can't possible have it all together so I don't buy that. I guess we have been picked to enjoy our singleness for a little while longer!:lol:
 
Baby-daddy-to-be will be here Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's going to be a crazy weekend but I hope we can make time for each other. :heart:

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Oh a good note, I went on the third date with tall, dark and handsome last night. He hugged me so tightly; I loved that feeling. I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but I am totally not ready for all of that :/ Need to shed the rest of my emotional baggage first.
 
I don't know what the future holds. Who knows, maybe within a year we'll be over each other. It's fine. Right now we are :2inlove: and it's amaaazing :grin:.

:love3:

Loving love while it's here...living life in the moment...:reddancer:




^^^ :lachen: at that corny pseudo-deep last line.:lachen::lachen::lachen: Tryna-be-deep phrases always crack me up...even when they come outta me :lol:.
But I'll give myself a pass (this time) cuz I'm in love :drunk:.
 
GoddessMaker said:
Why are getting found by a man a decent upstanding citizen so hard.Why is it those who are in relationships lose the sensitivity they once had when they were single? Why am I 25 without any man not even a lover to play with? When will I get swept off my feet and loved or does that not happen until Im perfect.
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I always felt that I had to be perfect in order to be loved. Well, maybe not perfect. but there were things about me that I had to change in order to be loved. But then my guy came along and changed my mind. There are parts of me that I hate but he loves. I asked him what his favorite body part of mine is. He said he loved my legs, and that shocked me because I HATE (!!!) my legs! :lol: He loves my smile and I've always wanted braces. He thinks I have the prettiest feet, and I think my feet are wide.

What I'm trying to get at is, hope you find a guy who loves and accepts you for who you are, as you are now! Because if you suddenly make life changes and you find a man who loves you, you'll always wonder if he loves YOU or loves what you've become.
 
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