***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***
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CarLiTa
Well-Known Member
I am sick for the second weekend in a row 
last weekend it was a crazy headcold and general achiness, this week it was sinuses and mucus buildup, and the past couple of days it's been achiness and weakness. Now I have a fever 
Times like these make me reminisce about the intimacy of relationships. For several years now, my former SO would be my comfort/er (and me his) when I was sick, even when we were just friends. Even after we broke up, it feels like we often reached out to each other whenever one came down with something.
It's been nearly a year since we broke up and we've spent the majority of it still very much attached to each other emotionally. After what felt like a second breakup, I feel like I'm finally moving on. There's a way, a kind of confidence, that I want to feel with my future mate that I don't feel with him.
Since that realization, the ties have been snapping off, and I'm grateful for that. One thing I've struggled with since I started dating other people is the desire for emotional closeness. Like when I'm sick like right now, for a guy to swoop in and come make me soup lol, or at least to offer/keep me company... you know, for someone to make me feel adored as did ny former SO, and to adore someone back.
I crave this dynamic bc it became the norm for a while, but I'm not even ready for it again... It's... emotionally laborious.
Anyway, I am relearning to be the recluse Carlita who was emotionally independent, the one who dealt with her sicknesses without the love and affection of a man... the one who didn't feel like she needed that. I am and maybe need to keep purging myself of these emotional wants that I didn't always have before him.
It's fascinating that it's taken nearly a year since our breakup to really consciously start this process.
I'm reading a romantic book right now, so forgive me if this sounds like a strange chapter of some melodramatic love story
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last weekend it was a crazy headcold and general achiness, this week it was sinuses and mucus buildup, and the past couple of days it's been achiness and weakness. Now I have a fever Times like these make me reminisce about the intimacy of relationships. For several years now, my former SO would be my comfort/er (and me his) when I was sick, even when we were just friends. Even after we broke up, it feels like we often reached out to each other whenever one came down with something.
It's been nearly a year since we broke up and we've spent the majority of it still very much attached to each other emotionally. After what felt like a second breakup, I feel like I'm finally moving on. There's a way, a kind of confidence, that I want to feel with my future mate that I don't feel with him.
Since that realization, the ties have been snapping off, and I'm grateful for that. One thing I've struggled with since I started dating other people is the desire for emotional closeness. Like when I'm sick like right now, for a guy to swoop in and come make me soup lol, or at least to offer/keep me company... you know, for someone to make me feel adored as did ny former SO, and to adore someone back.
I crave this dynamic bc it became the norm for a while, but I'm not even ready for it again... It's... emotionally laborious.
Anyway, I am relearning to be the recluse Carlita who was emotionally independent, the one who dealt with her sicknesses without the love and affection of a man... the one who didn't feel like she needed that. I am and maybe need to keep purging myself of these emotional wants that I didn't always have before him.
It's fascinating that it's taken nearly a year since our breakup to really consciously start this process.
I'm reading a romantic book right now, so forgive me if this sounds like a strange chapter of some melodramatic love story
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Softerlove
New Member
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Softerlove
New Member
CarLiTa,Hope you feel better soon.
I'm on here reading and posting while I'm out at the "club". What does that tell you?
*sigh* This can't be life...
Lmao! You know your a LHCF addict when....
Girl perk up and make the most of it. Flirt just for practice!
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nappystorm
Well-Known Member
He shipped me a pair of sneakers just because...I like him
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
I was bored. Lame a** dudes in loud a** shirts, wearing friggin' sunglasses with Black and Milds hanging out their mouths. That is such a pet peeve of mine, dudes wearing sunglasses in the club. Negro, it's midnight, there is no damn sun!!!
You have to excuse me, coconut Ciroc and pineapple makes me a little vocal.
CarLiTa
Well-Known Member
Thanks MzLady78 
I feel better!! I took 2 multivitamin tablets, some Excedrin, drank a lot of water, and ate some berries before bed. I think my iron was low (anemia + menstruation). I sweated out the fever overnight. Yay!
Funny that I wrote a post abt my former SO last night. Well, this morning I woke up to a text by him that read: Every time I drink a Heineken Light, I think about you. Drinking one now
... sigh. Next month will make it a year since we broke up. I just... I dunno.
Sent from my HERO200 using HERO200
I feel better!! I took 2 multivitamin tablets, some Excedrin, drank a lot of water, and ate some berries before bed. I think my iron was low (anemia + menstruation). I sweated out the fever overnight. Yay!Funny that I wrote a post abt my former SO last night. Well, this morning I woke up to a text by him that read: Every time I drink a Heineken Light, I think about you. Drinking one now
... sigh. Next month will make it a year since we broke up. I just... I dunno.Sent from my HERO200 using HERO200
RarityFluttershy
New Member
Wow
erplexed. I Was Called An "Action Woman".
If Anyone Knows What This Means. Please, Do Tell.
Things I've Learned This Week.
1. Never Approach A Man
. Even If He Is Friendly And Flirting.
2. No Matter The Age Things Never Change.
3. I've Come To Realize I'm One Of The Non-Attractive Women Looking For A Relationship.
4. Throwing In The Towel And No Longer Looking
.
erplexed. I Was Called An "Action Woman". If Anyone Knows What This Means. Please, Do Tell.
Things I've Learned This Week.
1. Never Approach A Man
. Even If He Is Friendly And Flirting.2. No Matter The Age Things Never Change.
3. I've Come To Realize I'm One Of The Non-Attractive Women Looking For A Relationship.
4. Throwing In The Towel And No Longer Looking
.
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MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Wow
If Anyone Knows What This Means. Please, Do Tell.
Hmm, can we get the context under which it was said?
RarityFluttershy
New Member
MzLady78
Well Me And Him Were Talking (Not About Anything Particular) And He Just Came Out And Said. "You Are An Action Woman". I Asked Him What Does That Mean Because I Was Puzzled And He Started To Laugh And Said, "You Know What You Are".
*Shrug*
Things I've Learned This Week.
3. I've Come To Realize I'm One Of The Non-Attractive Women Looking For A Relationship.
4. Throwing In The Towel And No Longer Looking
Girl, don't give up! Take a break, pamper yourself, do you for awhile, and then go read the posts in that thread I made!
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
MzLady78
Well Me And Him Were Talking (Not About Anything Particular) And He Just Came Out And Said. "You Are An Action Woman". I Asked Him What Does That Mean Because I Was Puzzled And He Started To Laugh And Said, "You Know What You Are".
*Shrug*
Well alrighty then.
IDK, maybe he means you "doer" as opposed to a "talker"? It's hard to tell.
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
Oh no!
awww I am so sorry you're hurting sisI'll keep you in my prayers
Thank you so much guys....We are talking it out. I suppose I was a bit hasty. *sigh*
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Crazy, I was just about to "mention" you, I was wondering how you were holding up, then I saw your post. I hope everything works out.
I've having one of those days. In fact, I've been having them for the last few days. It's like I go through these cycles where I'm like "ok, let me just do me, forget all this other crap" and I'm so amped about it and excited about the future, then I get back into "woe is me, my life sucks, this situations sucks, I'm tired" mode. It's like constantly on this emotional roller coaster and I can't or won't get off. I just feel so unfulfilled in every area of my life, and I don't know what to do about it.
I will say, though, that I think a big part of the problem is too much time on my hands to think about these things. If I had more going on, I wouldn't even notice some of the things that bother me. I should probably start there.
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Do_Si_Dos
Well-Known Member
ChasingBliss That's good. My best friend told me to think about things for at least 24 hours before making any decisions that deal with the heart.
Hope everything works out for you.........
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Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
I think he is going to propose! Oh em gee!
Who knew I'd meet such a terrific man so soon? A year ago, I was making Kleenex rich wanting a man who felt our marriage no longer deserved a chance. FF, now I am with a man that wants to learn how to cook Haitian meals from my dad, so that he can cook me my favorite foods. He wants to officially speak to my dad man-to-man to let his intentions for me be known. What men still do that? He loves me as I am, and only requires I be myself. He listens so well to the spoken and unspoken and tells me I fulfill him without even speaking to/touching him. He wants us to travel the world, have babies, give me the wedding of my dreams, build an empire together and make all of our dreams come true.
When he proposes, my only response will be YES! I feel like a Cheshire cat.
Who knew I'd meet such a terrific man so soon? A year ago, I was making Kleenex rich wanting a man who felt our marriage no longer deserved a chance. FF, now I am with a man that wants to learn how to cook Haitian meals from my dad, so that he can cook me my favorite foods. He wants to officially speak to my dad man-to-man to let his intentions for me be known. What men still do that? He loves me as I am, and only requires I be myself. He listens so well to the spoken and unspoken and tells me I fulfill him without even speaking to/touching him. He wants us to travel the world, have babies, give me the wedding of my dreams, build an empire together and make all of our dreams come true.
When he proposes, my only response will be YES! I feel like a Cheshire cat.
*SkolarStar*
Well-Known Member
HORRAY!! I'm so happy for you!
*SkolarStar*
Well-Known Member
SUPER SWEET
Well-Known Member
The mentalist
All this mother earth and eating of the land crap. I knew it.erplexed
Disgusted You hear me? DISGUSTED
All this mother earth and eating of the land crap. I knew it.
erplexedDisgusted You hear me? DISGUSTED
Do_Si_Dos
Well-Known Member
Smdh... .
First he picked me in a busted car (he has a very nice car, but he did not drive it. He did not want to put extra miles on it). By busted I mean side mirror hanging off,smell like hsit, and it was dirty as hayle......
Second the car had an AKA tag on the front.... Whose car are we in? Ok, he tells me he bought the car that way. Who sells a car with an AKA tag on it? So now I am pissed, because he thinks I'm stupid.
Next he has on his work clothes..... Who does not bathe before a date? This fool asked me was he musty.
. Then he have the nerve to ask for a hug. Oh....get this... He works outside most of the day.And the icing on the cake this musty arse ninja was feeling on me while we were headed to the car. I dont know if he poked me or if it was his finger.... Yeah, I almost threw up in my mouth.
I almost cried.......
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Looking forward to more nights like this.
Do_Si_Dos
Well-Known Member
Wow. A KANG!
We need to come up with a term lower than kang, because he was just a hot mess.
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texasqt
Well-Known Member
Smdh... .
First he picked me in a busted car (he has a very nice car, but he did not drive it. He did not want to put extra miles on it). By busted I mean side mirror hanging off,smell like hsit, and it was dirty as hayle......
Second the car had an AKA tag on the front.... Whose car are we in? Ok, he tells me he bought the car that way. Who sells a car with an AKA tag on it? So now I am pissed, because he thinks I'm stupid.
Next he has on his work clothes..... Who does not bathe before a date? This fool asked me was he musty.
And the icing on the cake this musty arse ninja was feeling on me while we were headed to the car. I dont know if he poked me or if it was his finger.... Yeah, I almost threw up in my mouth.
I almost cried.......
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Do_Si_Dos Did you still go? Where did you go for the date? It would've been perfectly fine if you told him you'd rather reschedule (& then don't). I know men who will call and ask to be late so they can clean their cars AND themselves. He did not want to put the extra miles on his car - not even for you. How many miles are we talking about? Only people I know concerned about mileage are people with leases. Start out the way you want to end up. No excuses. And only give yourself the benefit of the doubt!
If the AKA car isn't his wife's or live in, then he may be on that 'I want you to like me at my worse and then I'll improve' thinking. You know the guys who will take a girl to a fast food place before going to a restaurant. That was the first thing that came to mind when i read your post. Sorry, we don't have time for games!
Don't waste the pretty!
(Somebody posted that earlier and I like it!)
RarityFluttershy
New Member
Smdh... .
First he picked me in a busted car (he has a very nice car, but he did not drive it. He did not want to put extra miles on it). By busted I mean side mirror hanging off,smell like hsit, and it was dirty as hayle......
Second the car had an AKA tag on the front.... Whose car are we in? Ok, he tells me he bought the car that way. Who sells a car with an AKA tag on it? So now I am pissed, because he thinks I'm stupid.
Next he has on his work clothes..... Who does not bathe before a date? This fool asked me was he musty.
And the icing on the cake this musty arse ninja was feeling on me while we were headed to the car. I dont know if he poked me or if it was his finger.... Yeah, I almost threw up in my mouth.
I almost cried.......
It Is Real Out There
. OP You Deserve So Much More Than This. And The Nerve Of Him
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