***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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Sprinkl3s said:
Marry for love, or marry for security????
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The question that can alter my destiny....

Ugh. I've always been at odds with this decision. I'm too loving, too passionate to settle for convenience. Yet, I was raised to think about the future and strive for stability and security (not necessary via a partner).

Why can't I have it both?
 
So after almost a year w/o having any type of meaningful interactions with males, I went out with someone this past wknd. And it was actually pretty fun and exhilarating just to be out and socializing with someone attractive and interesting. I'm not really pressed on the next steps, what ifs, where is this going, who's gonna call who, etc. Just glad to finally be moving on and having the courage to get over my anxieties/fear of meeting new men. Just a couple months ago I probably would've found a reason to not accept his invite.

Interesting how this happened shortly after I cut my ex out of my life completely. I really do think there is something to the old adage of having to let go of old people/energy to make room for new experiences.
 
An old flame and very good friend had a baby today. His lady delivered a 9lb boy.
I feel funny...odd... Heck, I'm not even quite sure how I feel.
I know I'm happy for him. He always wanted a son. He sounds excited.
His news brought back old pains buried deep within me. Not of him, but of my *secret* experience.

More than ever, I crave motherhood. I want a child.
I'm not ready. I'm not at the position I want to be in to raise a child.
There's so much more to do. So much more to change. So much more to happen.
Yet, I feel that I am emotionally ready.
I'm emotionally ready for the little ones I've dreamed of for so long.
Emotion is not enough.

My heart hurts. For his gain. For my loss. For my lack.
 
deediamante said:
So I'm now officially single.:ohwell: BF has been distant and not answering phone calls for the past week. But he came by today to say that he has too much going on (lost his job 2 years ago, got a new job about 7 months ago and has been digging himself out of a deep financial hole since) and can't give me what I need. (i love to travel and broke people have no business traveling - his words). :nono: I can respect that. I'll be sad (he had such a kind heart) but he did me a favor :yep: (as harsh as that sounds).

So I will enjoy being single (it has been a long time for me) then back into the game. :look:
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I'm so sorry. So so sorry. I would give you the cliche line of "everything happens for a reason" but it won't make it better. Take some time, buy something youve wanted, and know that it gets eaiser.

Coming from someone who walled away from four years after my ex went through a similar thing, I found love with someone if never imagined I would.

It gets eaiser.

Sent from my MyTouch 4G
 
deediamante said:
So I'm now officially single.:ohwell: BF has been distant and not answering phone calls for the past week. But he came by today to say that he has too much going on (lost his job 2 years ago, got a new job about 7 months ago and has been digging himself out of a deep financial hole since) and can't give me what I need. (i love to travel and broke people have no business traveling - his words). :nono: I can respect that. I'll be sad (he had such a kind heart) but he did me a favor :yep: (as harsh as that sounds).

So I will enjoy being single (it has been a long time for me) then back into the game. :look:
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:bighug:

Incognitus said:
An old flame and very good friend had a baby today. His lady delivered a 9lb boy.
I feel funny...odd... Heck, I'm not even quite sure how I feel.
I know I'm happy for him. He always wanted a son. He sounds excited.
His news brought back old pains buried deep within me. Not of him, but of my *secret* experience.

More than ever, I crave motherhood. I want a child.
I'm not ready. I'm not at the position I want to be in to raise a child.
There's so much more to do. So much more to change. So much more to happen.
Yet, I feel that I am emotionally ready.
I'm emotionally ready for the little ones I've dreamed of for so long.
Emotion is not enough.

My heart hurts. For his gain. For my loss. For my lack.
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:bighug:
 
MzLady78 said:
So, two years after you inexplicably throw away our friendship, you re-add me on Facebook and ask me do I think about you. Guess things didn't work out with the chick you thought was more deserving of your time.

I'm telling you, they always come back....
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MzLady78 People don't believe me when I say this! Even Jesus is coming back so what makes people think exes or flings won't?? Sheesh.


CarLiTa said:
I am admittedly a bit of a doormat.

Guys who date me comment a lot on how easygoing I seem. I don't come off as volatile or wanting to put them in their place early on. But then, they realize that it's my general disposition, and suddenly I start noticing that they're sometimes trying to get me over.

And the thing is, I do have thoughts about putting them in their place, but I don't express them... something about being polite. People see this... I dunno if I should even call it a quality... as being a doormat, and I guess it translates to that.

It's weird: I had met this guy from out of town and we were talking for a few weeks. He was kind of annoying and I would put him in his place. For whatever reason, he ate it up like: :lol: I love this girl! this girl is so cool! :look: WTH? I get no fun in telling you what to do, why you do love it so much?

I feel, perhaps as an experiment, that I should let these guys know what I think/am looking for/am NOT looking for (especially) much sooner than I do now. Expectations and standards are laid out, and you can either get with it or get gone. Don't act like you ain't know:look:
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CarLiTa Don't do it as an experiment, try to make it as a part of who who are. But, what you're comfortable with and what's respectful. It's about letting people know how you really feel without dragging yourself on. If a guy isn't what you're looking for, don't feel like you have to settle until he does something to prove otherwise. Follow your gut.


RarityFluttershy said:
:perplexed
:nono:
:sad:
:cry4:

ETA.......So Hurt Words Can't Explain. I'm Done With It All. Don't Care Anymore And Sick Of This **** Up Hand I'm Given.
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:bighug:
RarityFluttershy Whenever you're ready to tell us what happened, or if you don't, we're here for you with big cyber hugs.
:bighug:
 
As for my random thought.

I wanna cry because after all of this time working on myself, I'm finally happy with who I am and what I have to bring to the table in a relationship. After applying for jobs and having interviews, I've learned that I have very high expectations for myself. I don't know if it's healthy or not but it feels d@mn good to meet my own expectations. I know that having stuff is not everything because a real man wouldn't care about stuff he should care about my emotional stability and potential. But I have my own stuff now!
Except the car, still working on that one. :perplexed:

With God's grace, I can do anything!
 
Let's just call him the Mentalist.:giggle:

His eyes ,locs and his scent. I could tell he was on some other stuff.
Why did I even give him my number?

Him: I just want to let you know....
Me:What?
Him: I want you to feel freedom
Me::look: Oh yea
Him: Clothing is just a formality. Earthlings made you feel ashamed of your body. It's time for freedom to roar. I will play the flute and you will dance to your own beats.

Me: I couldn't even hear nothing else said

You don't even want to know.....
 
SUPER SWEET said:
Let's just call him the Mentalist.:giggle:

His eyes ,locs and his scent. I could tell he was on some other stuff.
Why did I even give him my number?

Him: I just want to let you know....
Me:What?
Him: I want you to feel freedom
Me::look: Oh yea
Him: Clothing is just a formality. Earthlings made you feel ashamed of your body. It's time for freedom to roar. I will play the flute and you will dance to your own beats.

Me: I couldn't even hear nothing else said

You don't even want to know.....
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super_SWEET KANG ALERT KANG ALERT!!!
 
Softerlove said:
But I want to know.......heheee

Sent from my MyTouch 4G
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The sad part is that I wanna know too! It's like when I started to watch basketball wives. I've gone 2 and a half seasons without watching it. Now that I do I feel so disappointed in myself. I hate that I like it and want to know what's happening next. :lol:
 
SUPER SWEET said:
Let's just call him the Mentalist.:giggle:

His eyes ,locs and his scent. I could tell he was on some other stuff.
Why did I even give him my number?

Him: I just want to let you know....
Me:What?
Him: I want you to feel freedom
Me::look: Oh yea
Him: Clothing is just a formality. Earthlings made you feel ashamed of your body. It's time for freedom to roar. I will play the flute and you will dance to your own beats.

Me: I couldn't even hear nothing else said

You don't even want to know.....
Click to expand...
Lol! Girl stop!
 
As much as I was (and still am) feeling C, after all of these months he's made no mention of becoming exclusive, nothing's changed. He's an awesome guy, great with kids, super smart and ambitious, kind.... However, when people ask me about him, I never know what to say, so I just say we're friends. I'm tired of it now, as much as I love being around him and talking to him, I'm beginning to think that I'm wasting energy on someone with whom I have no future... So I've decided to simply give him much less of my time.

A friend of mine had been telling me about one of her former classmates for over a year now, she thinks we'd be perfect for each other. Anyway, she connected us and we've been chatting and he seems like a really sweet, family oriented guy... so far so good. Downside: he's long distance, but travels quite a bit for work. He'll be in my city in a few weeks and we have plans to go out. The other thing that I was slightly apprehensive about is that he's a pro athlete. I worked in that industry briefly during undergrad, and also dated a few college athletes, and well... :perplexed... But, I've decided to be open and give this guy a fair shot.:yep:

Next week I also have a late lunch date with a guy that I met in the grocery store, back in May. I didn't give him my number back then because I was still kind of holding out for C. I told him to track me down on facebook if he was really interested lol. He did, and has been super patient, but persistent ever since, so we'll see how that goes as well.
 
The ex has taken so much from me...replaced so much of my trust with suspicion, love with hate..
So many promises broken
I believe in love, there are so many examples of true love everywhere...just not sure if its for me

Sent from my Sprint HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
these last few days i have been putting out my best and people have been noticing the effort. it has been a very interesting few days :yep: i have heard some of the weirdest things"if you go out with me we can ride together on the subway all day and night baby" :look: one guy had caught a glimpse of me and his body kept walking but his head was still looking at me he kept going so far it looked like he was doing the limbo.:lol:

now today i hope to catch the eye of a certain somebody. lets see what happens....:grin:
 
*SkolarStar* said:
@MzLady78 People don't believe me when I say this! Even Jesus is coming back so what makes people think exes or flings won't?? Sheesh.
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:lol: at even Jesus is coming back.

Yep, and he asked me about hanging out out and stuff again, but wouldn't answer me when I asked how his "boo" would feel about that.

*sigh*
 
KiSseS03 said:
As much as I was (and still am) feeling C, after all of these months he's made no mention of becoming exclusive, nothing's changed. He's an awesome guy, great with kids, super smart and ambitious, kind.... However, when people ask me about him, I never know what to say, so I just say we're friends. I'm tired of it now, as much as I love being around him and talking to him, I'm beginning to think that I'm wasting energy on someone with whom I have no future... So I've decided to simply give him much less of my time.

A friend of mine had been telling me about one of her former classmates for over a year now, she thinks we'd be perfect for each other. Anyway, she connected us and we've been chatting and he seems like a really sweet, family oriented guy... so far so good. Downside: he's long distance, but travels quite a bit for work. He'll be in my city in a few weeks and we have plans to go out. The other thing that I was slightly apprehensive about is that he's a pro athlete. I worked in that industry briefly during undergrad, and also dated a few college athletes, and well... :perplexed... But, I've decided to be open and give this guy a fair shot.:yep:

Next week I also have a late lunch date with a guy that I met in the grocery store, back in May. I didn't give him my number back then because I was still kind of holding out for C. I told him to track me down on facebook if he was really interested lol. He did, and has been super patient, but persistent ever since, so we'll see how that goes as well.
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@ KiSseS03
I think it's great that you're seeing other people. Did you tell C that you were looking for an exclusive relationship? Have you had a conversation about it yet?
 
Well it looks like my relationship is over...didnt even last a year. *sigh*

Who the hell goes from thinking you're getting married to this? I'm too sad to cry. I'm too mad t cry. Please pray for me y'all...and those who dont pray, send me some good vibrations. I need them.
 
ChasingBliss said:
Well it looks like my relationship is over...didnt even last a year. *sigh*

Who the hell goes from thinking you're getting married to this? I'm too sad to cry. I'm too mad t cry. Please pray for me y'all...and those who dont pray, send me some good vibrations. I need them.
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Oh no! :( I'm so sorry girl! You know we're here for you.

:bighug:
 
ChasingBliss, hang in there sweetheart. I am so sorry this happened to you. Do you have close friends and/or family to help you through this? I am heartbroken for you (((((hugs)))))
 
ChasingBliss said:
Well it looks like my relationship is over...didnt even last a year. *sigh*

Who the hell goes from thinking you're getting married to this? I'm too sad to cry. I'm too mad t cry. Please pray for me y'all...and those who dont pray, send me some good vibrations. I need them.
Click to expand...


awww I am so sorry you're hurting sis:sad::sad: I'll keep you in my prayers
 
My mood from yesterday and today has been getting progressively low/funky. I find way too many negative thoughts entering my mind and I can't seem to snap out of this funk.

I can't exactly place where its coming from...maybe I'm not adjusting as well as I thought I would...I don't know, right now all i know is I hate feeling like this, i hate all this negativity swirling around in my head. Hopefully the next coming days are better...
 
ChasingBliss said:
Well it looks like my relationship is over...didnt even last a year. *sigh*

Who the hell goes from thinking you're getting married to this? I'm too sad to cry. I'm too mad t cry. Please pray for me y'all...and those who dont pray, send me some good vibrations. I need them.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear the news..... »» hugs««

Sent from my HTC Glacier using HTC Glacier
 
Etherealsmile said:
My mood from yesterday and today has been getting progressively low/funky. I find way too many negative thoughts entering my mind and I can't seem to snap out of this funk.

I can't exactly place where its coming from...maybe I'm not adjusting as well as I thought I would...I don't know, right now all i know is I hate feeling like this, i hate all this negativity swirling around in my head. Hopefully the next coming days are better...
Click to expand...

Maybe try yoga and/or meditation. You sound like you are overwhelmed by all of the change. Slow down, breathe, relax, you'll be okay.
 
Thank you hopeful:kiss: I am so grateful the weekend is here so I'll get plenty of time to recuperate. I'm sure the fact that I just went through several days of intense orientation compounded these feelings but you're right, I will be ok:yep:
 
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