***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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After working as a case manager with welfare baby mama's I dont think I desire kids as much as I once did.They are noisy,noise and need attention.Also working here has made me really want the opportunity to be able to love a man.I watched my team bring their girlfriend/wife to lunch and I have no one to bring for lunch.I'm tired of being the fat freak with no love life at all..I just want to love and possible be able to be loved as well.
 
MizAvalon said:
Awww, I'm so happy for you! I'm at this point with my SO too. That point in the relationship where you know you are going to be together and you are just waiting for that special moment when you are proposed to. It really is an exciting time!:grin:
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MizAvalon I'm so happy for you!!! :-) I hope you share your engagement story when he pops the question!
 
NO more group dates.....
Tonight I heard a grown man call a woman names that would be used in HS. It's like he was holding things in to say to her in front of others to embarrass her. :nono:

He took it back when he called her a GORDITA. I admit I wanted to laugh because I could see what he meant. :spank:
 
Etherealsmile said:
She is one of the best people I have ever met, I can't believe she's willing to sacrifice so much, knowing she has to start her rotations on Monday so she's going to be bone tired when all is said and done but she insists on helping me out.

I'm thinking of doing something incredibly special for her. People like her are very few on this earth. There is only one other person I know who is as self sacrificing as her outside of my family. I am truly blessed to have her for a friend:yep:
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Although we talk about relationships with men in this thread, I have to say that I'm so happy to have the friends that I have in my life. My bestie in particular fits just like the one you have :yep:. She's my soul sister. I love my friendships with my girls. I truly do.
 
Its going to take somebody really...unique for me to get seriously involved romantically again. I was just thinking about how...suffocated I felt in my last relationship. Pressure, anxiety. Playing by someone else's rules, allowing myself to be caged in a self created mental prison. Like a puppet, with someone else pulling the strings. Too many rules, too cold and calculated, like trying to make me be a stepford wife or something and thats not who I am nor will it ever be.

Which is why I so love that phrase from Sex and City..."Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them."
 
Imani said:
Its going to take somebody really...unique for me to get seriously involved romantically again. I was just thinking about how...suffocated I felt in my last relationship. Pressure, anxiety. Playing by someone else's rules, allowing myself to be caged in a self created mental prison. Like a puppet, with someone else pulling the strings. Too many rules, too cold and calculated, like trying to make me be a stepford wife or something and thats not who I am nor will it ever be.

Which is why I so love that phrase from Sex and City..."Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them."
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I could never take that quote seriously because it was the most hypocritical thing needy, lameass Carrie Bradshaw could have ever said lol... it just sounded like justification for her to try to deal with why Big didn't want her.
 
mischka said:
I could never take that quote seriously because it was the most hypocritical thing needy, lameass Carrie Bradshaw could have ever said lol... it just sounded like justification for her to try to deal with why Big didn't want her.
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I'm a huge SATC fan and I liked the quote. Everyone has their own opinions and interpretations, its just a show :look:
 
Imani said:
Its going to take somebody really...unique for me to get seriously involved romantically again. I was just thinking about how...suffocated I felt in my last relationship. Pressure, anxiety. Playing by someone else's rules, allowing myself to be caged in a self created mental prison. Like a puppet, with someone else pulling the strings. Too many rules, too cold and calculated, like trying to make me be a stepford wife or something and thats not who I am nor will it ever be.

Which is why I so love that phrase from Sex and City..."Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them."
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You are just need a real man, that's on some real ish. He will know how to love a real woman! You will definitely meet someone to cherish you.


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How do you choose between two people who are completely opposite but you like things about both of them...I will have to choose sooner or later, ugh.
 
This guy tried asking me out via office chat. I tell him that I'm kinda dating someone... well that's not quite the case, but the guy I've been spending time with and this amorous coworker have mutual friends.

Anyway, this amorous coworker wanted to take me out during my bday wknd... a little much... and I told him that I had a dinner date and plans with friends. Today he asks abt my wknd, then abt the date. Told him both were great:look:

Now he is saying something or another abt wanting to exchange info and get to know each other but not wanting to cross the line... contradictory...

This makes me feel so awkward. Not only bc this is via office chat and I do not want to share my personal info with him precisely bc he is interested and a bit forward... but I also feel strange bc I am playing UP my interaction with the other guy, when we are not at all serious. The sad thing is that they mostly all seem to know abt me and him... from a mutual friend.

I really hate when that kind of dynamic happens, and it happens often: I start seeing a guy, and we're not yet public, and suddenly several guys that we both know start coming out of the woodwork expressing supposedly long-dated interest.

I've had not so positive experiences in those situations (bitterness from those who admit their feelings and attempts at sabotage), which is why I feel so awkward and weary abt this. I don't even know whether to bring it up to the guy that I am hanging out with.

I don't like this at all.
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Alright, I've decided to forget about birthday date guy bc it is Wednesday, and we have not had a real conversation since after our date on Friday. We communicated Saturday, when he told me he was heading to his parents' house, and since then he's been MIA.

I reached out Monday asking how his wknd went, and he said other than our date on Friday, he's had better wknds. Mentioned something abt an argument with his stepfather, whom he'd said he doesn't get along well with, and then he goes: I just need to relax and figure some things out....

I made the pathetic move of saying that I was worried that he was ignoring me or something, and that I hope that's not the case :wallbash:
Get this, his response didn't even address that part of the message. He said he needed to discuss some stuff with his stepfather, and that he would call me later that night.

It is now 2 days later and there's been nothing, not even a text. I sent one saying that I hope things get better, just in case this was serious stuff, but there's been no response.

I was wracking my brain trying to find out what the heck happened. Is it bc I turned him down? I don't get it bc he suggested that we hang out again soon to finish the wine we bought.

Is he really having family problems? I could understand that, but I wouldn't leave someone hanging bc of that.

I feel like I reached out enough, especially after giving him a chance to take me out on the first date after his gaffe, and hanging out with him after that subpar initial date.

Aaanyway: I have deleted his number, texts, pix, and voicemail:look:

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are men from the Caribbean really that different from African American men:confused:
all i hear is "Caribbean Men" are possessive, controlling, promiscuous men.

okay, this is what keeps me from speaking with you (and my extreme shyness).
don't know what i'm trying to say; but all i know is i get extremely nervous around you and would like to get to know you better.
everytime i see you it's like the gates of heaven opened up:look:.

yes it is that deep and i know you feel something too just by the way your mannerism is towards me.
 
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We are currently in different cities so I don't know whats going on with you but I am kind of concerned but I don't think it is anything bad.

I just realize that you are being a little more appreciative or nicer, idk. I thought it was cute how you obviously woke up from sleep and realize you did not talk to me all day on Monday and made sure to say goodnight. Then last night while I was sleep you sent me a text apologizing for not being a better friend.

I don't know where that came from.

You never replied to my response to why you felt that way...I guess you are maybe going through the motions...who knows?

Well I know your going to call me anyway. I'll ask again.
 
You kissed me almost a week ago now and I still get nauseous everytime I think about it...ugh. I don't know what made you think that I even wanted that. Worst kiss ever...EVER!! :nono:

Yeah...sometimes high school crushes should stay in high school lol
 
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NYAmicas said:
I wonder if men really realize how much temptation most women resist everyday yet manage to remain faithful?
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This right HERE is TRUTH!!! :yep: I hate how society always tries to make it all about the man and his needs. Well, women have needs, too!! :lol: We can control ourselves, and they can, too!
 
Sometimes I think I must live in an alternate universe or something bc I don't really see this extreme shortage of professional successful black men who like black women. I think its bc I went to a large HBCU in a program where majority of the graduates are doing pretty well. And still kind of keep up with that circle. Just chatted with a homeboy the other day who just got into northwestern for law school. And the other day with one who is about start on his phd. Most of the ones I graduated with work for major firms, Fortune 500 companies, etc. Or went on to top ranking grad/professional schools. They all like black women and do not have multiple baby momma's and other foolishness going on that I read about on here.

eta: And they all want to be (or already are) married. To black women.
 
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Is it wrong to want an actual "Man" even though I'm only 19? Do I have to just settle for these teenage boys just because of age even though I wouldn't consider myself to be on the same level as them? I want to be with someone who is either on my level or past it. Even close enough is not good enough anymore. I'm just so sick of settling.
 
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