Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

[Browndilocks]

@Browndilocks - I haven't been on this side of the forum in a minute but I agree with the others to not say nuttin! Once I read your post, I knew exactly who you were talking about as when I first saw her post, I was like then like and quickly outta there..

Hey girl I hear you. Since you know who I'm talking about Based on some of the things she's worn and posted, my initial thought was that she just doesn't know how to dress for her body type. I was a late bloomer and my boobs grew overnight lol. Every girl in my family was an A or B cup and I'm a D. I had ill fitting bras that were unflattering and someone told me I needed a different size bra. Granted, I was around 18 and she was older than me, but I appreciated her telling me. That's where my train of thought was. We're very grown now so I'll heed to the advice and won't say a word.

 

[IslandMummy]

Our neighbors are great! Some weirdo was pawing through our front yard going through the trees we cut down. She snapped his picture and called the police on him. We hadn’t even moved in at that point but she knew he didn’t belong and the police department stopped by today to follow up.

We definitely made the right choice.

 

[LdyKamz]

I have dinner plans with a friend next week. I am so excited. And she is too because she said she's been doing baby stuff and play dates for like the last month.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

That moment when you're on a date and you see someone you used to be friends with and you're relieved AF that she didn't notice you even as she walks past your table.

 

[Farida]

Ugh. I am so over adults being passive.

My friend and I planned to go to Coachella together months in advance. We talked about the acts we wanted to see.

About two weeks prior she starts dating a guy. Dude supposedly found out she was planning on going and decided to buy a ticket from someone. So she tells me this and I am like ugh, I don’t want to be a 3rd wheel.

Then a week prior she says, “I feel like he is THIS close to asking to stay with us.”

Which I ignore. He hasn’t asked and it’s intrusive and annoying.

A few days before she like, “can he stay with us?” I said no. Ihought he did not ask. I don’t know this guy and I am married. I don’t want to share a hotel room with a guy neither one of us really knows. She says she understands. Dude gets huffy and cancels.

So I feel like she wanted him to come and wanted him to stay with us and instead of asking she kept dropping hints and being passive about it.

Then when we get to Coachella all of a sudden she starts with, “I dunno how I will work on Monday.” I told her to take the day off she said she could not.

Then it turned into, “Are we really going to stay to watch Eminem?” “Yes, I told you.”

Then the next day it turns into, “man, it’s going to be a LOT tomorrow.”

Long story short such comments continue until Sunday morning she says we should go home. She is too tired.

So I drove us home. Salty as hell. And she proceeds to tell me shd has to go pick up her kid. Meaning shs had really no plans of staying on Sunday. She planned to work early and had plans for Sunday. Why not say that? I would have said let’s drive separately. Or I would have told her to drive home early Sunday and I would’ve asked DH to come pick me up.

I would not have paid so much, put up with all the dust, crowds etc if I knew I was going to miss a full day.

 

[hopeful]

What a bummer @Farida.

 

[caribeandiva]

@Farida i would be pissed! Chella tickets are expensive! That would be my LAST trip anywhere with her. This is why I prefer to travel alone. Crap like this.

 

[IslandMummy]

Ugh. I am so over adults being passive.

My friend and I planned to go to Coachella together months in advance. We talked about the acts we wanted to see.

About two weeks prior she starts dating a guy. Dude supposedly found out she was planning on going and decided to buy a ticket from someone. So she tells me this and I am like ugh, I don’t want to be a 3rd wheel.

Then a week prior she says, “I feel like he is THIS close to asking to stay with us.”

Which I ignore. He hasn’t asked and it’s intrusive and annoying.

A few days before she like, “can he stay with us?” I said no. Ihought he did not ask. I don’t know this guy and I am married. I don’t want to share a hotel room with a guy neither one of us really knows. She says she understands. Dude gets huffy and cancels.

So I feel like she wanted him to come and wanted him to stay with us and instead of asking she kept dropping hints and being passive about it.

Then when we get to Coachella all of a sudden she starts with, “I dunno how I will work on Monday.” I told her to take the day off she said she could not.

Then it turned into, “Are we really going to stay to watch Eminem?” “Yes, I told you.”

Then the next day it turns into, “man, it’s going to be a LOT tomorrow.”

Long story short such comments continue until Sunday morning she says we should go home. She is too tired.

So I drove us home. Salty as hell. And she proceeds to tell me shd has to go pick up her kid. Meaning shs had really no plans of staying on Sunday. She planned to work early and had plans for Sunday. Why not say that? I would have said let’s drive separately. Or I would have told her to drive home early Sunday and I would’ve asked DH to come pick me up.

I would not have paid so much, put up with all the dust, crowds etc if I knew I was going to miss a full day.

Oh heck no! Those tickets are not cheap, she would have had to figure out her own way home.

 

[Browndilocks]

I got a text that said "Hey! ____ gave me your number" and attached to it was a picture of an invitation to a baby shower.

 

[caribeandiva]

I got a text that said "Hey! ____ gave me your number" and attached to it was a picture of an invitation to a baby shower.

Was it from someone you’re friends with? Wait... then they’d already have your number. Amiright?

 

[Browndilocks]

Was it from someone you’re friends with? Wait... then they’d already have your number. Amiright?

I'm not friends with her. She is the relative of one of my friends and I see her at the occasional bbq, maybe once a year or less. Last week my friend's baby sister had a prom send off party and she was there, so I said hi and gave her a hug. That was it.

 

[caribeandiva]

@Browndilocks so what are you gonna do? Are you gonna go?

 

[Browndilocks]

I'm definitely not going to the shower. I might get her a gift but the text rubbed me the wrong way. Especially since she didn't mention anything to me when I saw her. It's like she thought about it and was like "oh yeah I know I can get Browndi to give me something." And then I kinda feel like my friend, her relative was like "yeah I'll give you her number because I know she'll give you something" KWIM? I wouldn't have ever known she was pregnant if I didn't see her.

I guess I can mention that she added onto the text that she's registered at Walmart, she wants no Huggies or Johnsons products.

 

[caribeandiva]

I wouldn’t even get her a gift. But you’re a better woman than me @Browndilocks

 

[Sosoothing]

@Browndilocks
I would ignore the invitation. It would rub me the wrong way too. Sounds like she just wants gifts from you.

 

[hopeful]

I wouldn’t even get her a gift. But you’re a better woman than me @Browndilocks

Better woman than me too lol.

 

[IslandMummy]

I wouldn’t even get her a gift. But you’re a better woman than me @Browndilocks

Right? She’s getting paid air.

 

[BrownBetty]

@Farida you are a good person she would of had to figure out a way to get home if I drove. I so don't have time for folks and their passive aggressive behavior. Those tickets aren't cheap. If she wanted to leave early she should of said so. Don't wait till you all get out there and start acting up!

@Browndilocks - she would get a congratulations but an actual gift? Nope. Folks love to help themselves to your money. I don't understand I mean butter me up a little before sending a text invite to your baby shower. I wouldn't go and I wouldn't send a gift.

 

[weaveadiva]

@Browndilocks Text back: Congrats on your new bundle of joy. Have fun!

 

[kimpaur]

After almost 2 years a friend and I have finally reconnected . I have missed her company sooo much and I'm super excited to pick things up where they left off!

I'm glad she reached out because my petty self was NOT about to bite the bullet and reach out first. I was *this* close to unfollowing her so her timing was perfect!

 

[onyxdreams]

I just posted in the manifesting thread and just realized I'm surrounded by emotional vampires at work. When I do the work and find a positive zone, they seek me out to complain, cry and fuss about our work environment and boss. Now that I'm pissed off and crabby, they are no answers, no advice and no one to listen to me. The main complainer is my direct supervisor, so I can't avoid her. Some of her complaints about our boss, I agree with but the rest is her own projection of being a weakling. I'll probably find my zone again but its been a rough two months. Thursdsy, I was close to quiting my career, DH had to stop by work to comfort me.

 

[Browndilocks]

@Browndilocks Text back: Congrats on your new bundle of joy. Have fun!

 

[bellatiamarie]

So, my one yt friend bought tickets for us to see this white band. I honestly don't even remember agreeing to go but when she called and said the tickets came in the mail I was like whatever. The show is this Saturday. I don't even remember the name of the band and the only reason I didn't make a big fuss out of it is because it's at the Hard Rock and I figure I'll just go to the casino while she's at the show. So she sent me a text message a few days ago saying that her dad is going to pay for us to stay at a hotel so we don't have to drive back home so late. I respond with no that's OK I can't stay. She sends me back to back text messages asking why and asking what I have to do between midnight and 8:30AM the next morning. My response was: "Well, I don't want to stay at a hotel I'd rather stay at my own home.... do you like that answer better?" She responded that she doesn't know why I'm being nasty and forget about the concert Saturday we will just get together another night for dinner.

I said what I said y'all. I'm tired of having to explain myself as a 33-year-old woman. I'm tired of it. So, I said what I said. They gon' learn.

So... I haven’t talked to this one since January. I decided to call her to tell her Happy Birthday today.... the phone rang twice and went to voicemail. So she texts me a few mins later....

Her: did you butt dial me by mistake
Me: I called to tell you happy birthday
Her: oh thanks

Her: so where have you been

I didn’t respond because I was driving for 1 and 2 I hate questions like that. I been in my skin ma’am!!!

After about 45 minutes of no response from me...

Her: unbelievable!!! Goodnight!!!

I guess she’s mad I didn’t respond right away. Girl I don’t care!!! This is why I haven’t reached out to you since January!! Too needy!!!

 

[bellatiamarie]

So... I haven’t talked to this one since January. I decided to call her to tell her Happy Birthday today.... the phone rang twice and went to voicemail. So she texts me a few mins later....

Her: did you butt dial me by mistake
Me: I called to tell you happy birthday
Her: oh thanks

Her: so where have you been

I didn’t respond because I was driving for 1 and 2 I hate questions like that. I been in my skin ma’am!!!

After about 45 minutes of no response from me...

Her: unbelievable!!! Goodnight!!!

I guess she’s mad I didn’t respond right away. Girl I don’t care!!! This is why I haven’t reached out to you since January!! Too needy!!!

I never did respond to her... so she sent me a text after midnight:

Her: it must be because i'm white.



I didn't respond. My blockedt list ain't never been this long but anybody can get on it... I ain't playin!

 

[BrownBetty]

She tried it. I would block her but my tolerance for white women and their foolishness is nil.

I never did respond to her... so she sent me a text after midnight:

Her: it must be because i'm white.



I didn't respond. My blockedt list ain't never been this long but anybody can get on it... I ain't playin!

 

[LdyKamz]

I never did respond to her... so she sent me a text after midnight:

Her: it must be because i'm white.



I didn't respond. My blockedt list ain't never been this long but anybody can get on it... I ain't playin!

This is so confusing. She sounds like a needy girlfriend instead of a friend. And what does her race have to do with anything. My response to it must be because i'm white would be "that you're acting like this? Probably. Have a good night"

 

[MzLady78]

This is so confusing. She sounds like a needy girlfriend instead of a friend. And what does her race have to do with anything. My response to it must be because i'm white would be "that you're acting like this? Probably. Have a good night"

Love it!

 

[bellatiamarie]

This is so confusing. She sounds like a needy girlfriend instead of a friend. And what does her race have to do with anything. My response to it must be because i'm white would be "that you're acting like this? Probably. Have a good night"

Exactly!! I used to always tell her that I never get into spats with my other friends (read: my black friends ) like with her. She’s always asking me a million questions and then getting upset when I don’t respond or call back when she thinks I should. And if we don’t go out to dinner every other week she feels as though our friendship is “waning.” The neediness is ridiculous.

I’ve known her for 10 years and have stopped talking to her on a few occasions because of her bizarre behavior. No one else will put up with her but I used to feel sorry for her because she doesn’t have any other friends. Those days are done. I’m done feeling guilty and surprised I did it this long. She can go on about her business.

I didn’t respond and I won’t respond. I used to engage her but at this point in my life I don’t have the time, patience, nor energy to entertain that nonsense. My life has been peaceful since we haven’t had any correspondence since January... not worried about this show or band she wants to see or this or that place she wants to go to. I used to have to lie about having things to do because I did not want to do anything with her!!!

But @LdyKamz that was thee perfect reply . She is the only white friend I had and after her I ain’t accepting no more applications . sorry, not sorry.

 

[Sosoothing]

I never did respond to her... so she sent me a text after midnight:

Her: it must be because i'm white.



I didn't respond. My blockedt list ain't never been this long but anybody can get on it... I ain't playin!

Wow.. She is exhausting. How did you two become friends?

 

[bellatiamarie]

Wow.. She is exhausting. How did you two become friends?

We started a job at the same time... went through 10 week orientation together. There were 3 of us... the other girl stopped dealing with her after a few years. I should’ve followed suit .