How would you feel about black men dating outside the race?

dlewis said:
We haven't had a thread like this in awhile. No need to bumb an old thread.:yep:

I don't mind my son marrying a non-black woman or my daughter marrying a non-black man. My husband does but he's racist.

The only issue I have is when you marry outside your race, have children and raise your mixed child to believe they are superior to other blacks. That's the only issue I have. And it's only recently become an issue because I've had to break it down to several family members.
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:lol: Dlewis my parents are the same way! My mom couldn't care less who I date...my dad? Well he's just racist :lol: Civil...but racist :yep:

Anyway, to answer the OP's question:
I'm indifferent. I didn't start noticing it until I started reading topics about it on here :lol: I'm still indifferent. I've never personally met any BM who worships WW. Maybe they look at me when I'm out...idk...I don't notice. (I have noticed BM who stare me down when I'm out with WM though...but that's a different thread I guess)

I have no children but:
I wouldn't care if my son bought home a non-black woman (I don't even prefer a BW...just a good woman). Same applies to my daughters.
 
Honestly, it hurts because it happens in droves. So many black women stick with black men and love black men yet it seems to be the case that they don't feel the same for us. Personally I think that black men should appreciate black women more. Also, many black men are in prison, some are homosexual, and many date outside of the race...other races are not lacking in options...they have their men plus black men so that leaves us with a shortage i men. 70% of black professional women are single because they wait on their black prince charming....on the other hand black professional men seem to wait on Becky. But this is just my opinion.
 
petiteNunique said:
Honestly, it hurts because it happens in droves. So many black women stick with black men and love black men yet it seems to be the case that they don't feel the same for us. Personally I think that black men should appreciate black women more. Also, many black men are in prison, some are homosexual, and many date outside of the race...other races are not lacking in options...they have their men plus black men so that leaves us with a shortage i men. 70% of black professional women are single because they wait on their black prince charming....on the other hand black professional men seem to wait on Becky. But this is just my opinion.
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If my prince charming shows up and he's non-black, it's still on!:lol: Would I prefer a black man? Honestly, yes!!! Would I date outside of my race for someone who would drink my bath water? With a quickness.:lachen:
 
i so agree with u...my heart just goes out to black women who want a black princ, but statistically it wont happen because of the shortage in men....it just seems to be the case that other men tend to worship their women but in the black community, this is not the case.
 
petiteNunique said:
i so agree with u...my heart just goes out to black women who want a black princ, but statistically it wont happen because of the shortage in men....it just seems to be the case that other men tend to worship their women but in the black community, this is not the case.
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I'm not sure I agree with the bolded. I think men of all races have a long way to go when it comes to respecting women, not to mention worshiping.
 
I'm not a fan, but that's probably b/c of my experiences w/ guys who do date out (some in my fam) who feel that white women are so much more worthy than black women and black women are just horrible.

And i wouldnt be thrilled if my son came home w/ a non-black girl. If she were a good person, I'd accept it, but I'd probably never truly b/c happy about it
 
I think it begins with our communities honestly. Many of the other cultures have stronger and different values, which unfortunately aren't really valued in the black community (on high levels anyway). So, this just produces a domino effect and the cycle continues to the next generation. Throw in a little self hate and you see some of the things mentioned. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone in the black community, but you get where I'm going.
 
petiteNunique said:
Honestly, it hurts because it happens in droves. So many black women stick with black men and love black men yet it seems to be the case that they don't feel the same for us. Personally I think that black men should appreciate black women more. Also, many black men are in prison, some are homosexual, and many date outside of the race...other races are not lacking in options...they have their men plus black men so that leaves us with a shortage i men. 70% of black professional women are single because they wait on their black prince charming....on the other hand black professional men seem to wait on Becky. But this is just my opinion.
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I will just say that unless you are going to be a crusader or black on black marriage advocate, focussing on the above can be very depressing. It's one of those things you can't resolve and it just goes round and round in circles. I think having a positive attitude about yourself and your possibilities is crucial. What you focus on expands. You think black men don't love us, then you see it even more. You think a black man will love me and life is grand, that expands. I guess I am an eternal optimist. If 90% of black men turned away from us, I would automatically focus on the 10% who adored us. Or I would focus on whoever loved us. I just keep looking for the good and expecting that I will be blessed.
 
hopeful said:
I will just say that unless you are going to be a crusader or black on black marriage advocate, focussing on the above can be very depressing. It's one of those things you can't resolve and it just goes round and round in circles. I think having a positive attitude about yourself and your possibilities is crucial. What you focus on expands. You think black men don't love us, then you see it even more. You think a black man will love me and life is grand, that expands. I guess I am an eternal optimist. If 90% of black men turned away from us, I would automatically focus on the 10% who adored us. Or I would focus on whoever loved us. I just keep looking for the good and expecting that I will be blessed.
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One thanks was not enough!!!!
 
hopeful said:
I will just say that unless you are going to be a crusader or black on black marriage advocate, focussing on the above can be very depressing. It's one of those things you can't resolve and it just goes round and round in circles. I think having a positive attitude about yourself and your possibilities is crucial. What you focus on expands. You think black men don't love us, then you see it even more. You think a black man will love me and life is grand, that expands. I guess I am an eternal optimist. If 90% of black men turned away from us, I would automatically focus on the 10% who adored us. Or I would focus on whoever loved us. I just keep looking for the good and expecting that I will be blessed.
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I agree with this and think that's the best way to live.
I actually know a lot of BM that prefer BW. It's just easier to spot the 3 BM/WW couples at the mall and overlook the 20 BM/BW couples. You start thinking that all BM are doing it. lol
At least on the east coast, that's how it is. But, I'm sure it varies depending on what region you're in.
 
And it's not that I don't get angry or frustrated either, I do. And sometimes you just have to vent and complain and get it out of your system. But you have to get back to your happy place: I am beautiful and I am worthy of the best. If I listened to what my father taught me about myself I would probably be dead. If I listened to all the people who told me I couldn't do this or that, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere. Dream big or go home. It's never all roses and cupcakes, but if you press forward, get away from negative influences, and let people know you don't dwell on negativity, things get better. And don't believe the hype. Many black men still love us. My husband has been with me for 27 years. He is black, very successful, and he LOVES him some ME. We love each other to pieces. I didn't see very much of the love I wanted in real life. So, I created and attracted my own reality. And always trust that God has your back.
 
Hopeful, honestly I think you should publish a book on encouragement, your posts are always so uplifting.
 
kamisha said:
I actually know a lot of BM that prefer BW. It's just easier to spot the 3 BM/WW couples at the mall and overlook the 20 BM/BW couples. You start thinking that all BM are doing it. lol
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So true, especially since the "let's pretend it's news" media pumps up BM/WW. They love to cover some 3rd rate rapper or athlete announcing his distaste for BW and how awful we feel about it. Somehow they skip over the soul-burning X-hundred thousand Black men incarcerated.

IME the number of BM who are interested in WW exclusively (as opposed to dating various ladies) is very small and ALL the women clown them.

To answer OP's question, I don't care and would be fine with my hypothetical son bringing home a WW or any other kind.
 
i really don't think it's a big deal... i date outside of my race. everyone else is most certainly welcome to do the same.

all of the men in my family have dated outside of their race(and in) at some point in their lives. my brother has dated black, white and hispanic women. his current GF is puerto rican. she's a good person and has a focus in life. as long as they are good to each other is all that matters to me.
 
petiteNunique said:
i so agree with u...my heart just goes out to black women who want a black princ, but statistically it wont happen because of the shortage in men....it just seems to be the case that other men tend to worship their women but in the black community, this is not the case.
Click to expand...
I think you've been drinking the "black single girl" kool-aide for too long. Black men are not dating/marrying non-black women in droves. Over 90% married black men are married to black women. And where are you getting that 70% of black professional women are single? I know that 45% of black women haven't been married, but I believe this is only accounting for women within a certain age range. If you want your black prince then go get what you want. Statistics can't dictate life.

To answer the question, I could care less who black men date. I could care less who my future children bring home.
 
dlewis said:
The only issue I have is when you marry outside your race, have children and raise your mixed child to believe they are superior to other blacks. That's the only issue I have.
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Pretty Brown Eyes said:
It only bothers me when interracial dating is done to put down their own race. I'm cool with an 'I love everybody' attitude. Not cool with ________ women are better than black women because ______________________.
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Ditto. This is how I feel:yep:
 
I wouldn't care either way. Go where you're loved and be with who you love. I do think it's important to make sure there are no "issues" but besides that I'm fine with my future son dating white. When I say issues things like"black women are no good" or "white women are better" or "my kids gonna have goood hrrrr" But really I'd hope I did a good job raising them so that wouldn't matter.
 
I would like to say I don't mind, but considering that, overall, we are still a psychologically damaged race, I do mind.

I just love Hopeful's posts, thank you :yep:!
 
My whole issue is that I hope I raise my daughter to be like myself. I am well minded enough to be an equal opportunity dater and partner. I would be with any man that I found attractive and suitable for me and what I am looking for. I would not seek to whiten my lineage or somehow justify my tokenism by being that black girl that sticks on a non black man. I wouldn't do so out of any insecurity or self hatred.

I want my daughter to be a strong powerful woman that doesn't turn down a genuinely great man because of his skin color. I want my daughter to have someone that loves her.. hell loves her slightly more than she loves him because I think that is somewhat necessary coming from a man. Anywho--I want her to be openminded. I don't care about what race the guy is as long as he is a human being.

I want my daughter to be proud of her heritage and pass that pride down to her little ones no matter who their father is.
 
On second thought although I do believe you date who you want to...as a BW if my son ONLY dated white women I think I may start to wonder what was up with that....I may even be slightly offended. I guess I'd have to research more on what drives our attractions...ok, I'm overthinking now:)
 
My kids are biracial and I wouldhave a problem if they brought a white girl home if it was just because she is white. If they just happen to marry or date a white girl fine but not for trophy or white girls are fr**ks reasons. That I can't cosign. I just want the girl to be a good person and not fast.:lachen:
 
i honestly don't pay black men any mind so they are free to do as they please. *shrugs*
 
I didn't care, but then I started being irritated when my friends started bringing them around.

I'm still not sure why I was irritated. I should probably do some introspection, but the problem is not that deep to me. Maybe I'll care more when I have children?
 
I don't care about other BM, but if I ever have a son, I will tell him from the beginning that he should only bring home a BW. I will work too hard to raise a respectable and succesful BM and I want another BW, like myself, to reap the benefits of my hardwork.
JMO
 
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