he wants to go on holiday with another woman

[Windsy]

Are you 100% sure he wasn't playing games trying to *** with you? Make you jealous? Men who are insecure can get trifling, immature and petty.

One of my nieces went out of the country without her BF and all of a sudden gets these mysterious texts from someone who claimed to be sleeping with her BF, pregnant with his kid, and all kinds of craziness. Niece was tripping because her cell # was brand new and only a few ppl had it. She had been with the BF for over a year, and the first time she's away from him, this? I told her it's her BF playing games because a real woman would have confronted her face to face, in person, or if over the phone, with a voice call and not texting like that. Men can be silly like that.

NO, NO, NO!!!!

that's one heck of a way to get back at someone. I know men can be silly but come on!! this is beyond silly if is it a joke, it IS DOWN RIGHT CHILDISH AND THIS MAN (boy) NEEDS TO BE KICKED TO THE CURB FOR DOING THIS!!!

Ladies, we have to do better than this!!! Why is stuff like this tolerated!?!?

 

[dannie]

I've only read the OP's story so I haven't heard all the ladies comments.

Men get dumber and bolder every year! I dont understand where he found the courage to even ask some bs like that.

What a dumbarse!

 

[MissMasala5]

What number was he texting from, though?

As soon as I arrived back home, I would have, from a unknown number, called the text number and see who answered.

Did she not recognize the number?

Men are so dumb... I don't know why we put up with any of them.

It was a number she didn't recognize, she didn't call it nor text back. She just read the messages and was like, "mmmmmmmmkayyyyy" but they rattled her nontheless. I told her not to say anything to him about it and act like nothing happened just to see how he would react, or if he'd bring anything up first. She didn't take my advice and brought it up to him anyway, and he played dumb about it, of course. And guess what? Once she got home, Miss Mystery Preggers never contacts her again

I have a grown BIL who does silly ish like this all the time. His so-called GF is super insecure and he plays on it all the time. He meets other women daily and makes it a point to have them call him while he's out with his so-called GF. He makes plans with other women and always finds a way to let that info "slip" so the GF finds out about it. He gets off on her jealousy and hurt feelings, IMO. He's a sadist of sorts.

 

[MissMasala5]

To the OP, I'd contact the woman in question and have a convo with her. Find out what's what. If it's true, then let the man go in peace. If it's not true, then let the man go in peace.

 

[drasgrl]

I didn't read the responses but the way I look at it is that if he was really that into you going on vacation with another woman would never cross his mind. And he used to like her too? Nah son. Why can't she got a ticket for you so you can all go away?

 

[MissMasala5]

NO, NO, NO!!!!

that's one heck of a way to get back at someone. I know men can be silly but come on!! this is beyond silly if is it a joke, it IS DOWN RIGHT CHILDISH AND THIS MAN (boy) NEEDS TO BE KICKED TO THE CURB FOR DOING THIS!!!

Ladies, we have to do better than this!!! Why is stuff like this tolerated!?!?

To add insult to injury, he's in his early thirties. And has an MBA. And no job. AND...one of her GFs is engaged to a newly contracted NFL player who has a friend who is interested in my niece-- I hear the fellow is super handsome, smart, sweet and also has a nice contract. My niece won't hear of it She's too wrapped up in this knucklehead. Sigh.

 

[MzLady78]

To the OP, I'd contact the woman in question and have a convo with her. Find out what's what. If it's true, then let the man go in peace. If it's not true, then let the man go in peace.

For what???

True or not true, this is NOT about her.

HE is the one she's supposed to be in the relationship with.

I wish some chick would call me about her triflin' *** man.

ETA: My honest feeling on this situation is that he probably doesn't want to be with the OP anymore and he's taking the punk way out. Instead of just saying it, he's acting a fool so she'll leave him.

JMO.

 

[Blossssom]

It was a number she didn't recognize, she didn't call it nor text back. She just read the messages and was like, "mmmmmmmmkayyyyy" but they rattled her nontheless. I told her not to say anything to him about it and act like nothing happened just to see how he would react, or if he'd bring anything up first. She didn't take my advice and brought it up to him anyway, and he played dumb about it, of course. And guess what? Once she got home, Miss Mystery Preggers never contacts her again

I have a grown BIL who does silly ish like this all the time. His so-called GF is super insecure and he plays on it all the time. He meets other women daily and makes it a point to have them call him while he's out with his so-called GF. He makes plans with other women and always finds a way to let that info "slip" so the GF finds out about it. He gets off on her jealousy and hurt feelings, IMO. He's a sadist of sorts.

SHE'S........ NUTS!

I hate your friend didn't heed your advice! At the very LEAST she could have called the number back! Dang!

 

[MissMasala5]

For what???

True or not true, this is NOT about her.

HE is the one she's supposed to be in the relationship with.

I wish some chick would call me about her triflin' *** man.

Because I suspect the dude made it all up to get the OP worked up. One simple call, one simple question, that is all.

 

[AtlantaJJ]

I would have told him go and have a great time...but take all your stuff with you first because this is the last conversation we are ever having. Period.

But that's just me...you prolly shouldn't listen to me. Their may be some more reasonable women here to advise you.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

If my SO asked me that somebody would be bailing me out of jail!! Girl you are a better woman than I am. Esp if he had the nerve to ask you that after FOUR YEARS of being together while you are "trying" to work on your relationship. IMHO it sounds like he's just looking for a way to make you dump him so he's not the bad guy

 

[MzLady78]

Because I suspect the dude made it all up to get the OP worked up. One simple call, one simple question, that is all.

In which case he needs to grow the hell up and she STILL doesn't need to be with him.

 

[Bunny77]

Because I suspect the dude made it all up to get the OP worked up. One simple call, one simple question, that is all.

You know it's possible, but say you're right... then what?

Does him being a silly butt somehow make it okay? (I'm not saying you said that, but that's the impression I get.)

 

[Syrah]

To the OP, I'd contact the woman in question and have a convo with her. Find out what's what. If it's true, then let the man go in peace. If it's not true, then let the man go in peace.

Why?

Real talk - she's not the problem. And to find out "whats what" between A and B, why call C - who's got her own circumstances to sort through. If you don't feel like you can get "whats what" from your man, there's just another reason to let it go...

...I'm just asking...

 

[MissMasala5]

You know it's possible, but say you're right... then what?

Does him being a silly butt somehow make it okay? (I'm not saying you said that, but that's the impression I get.)

Then the OP doesn't have that hurt hanging over her head if it was a lie. She can gain the upper hand and dump the dude, self esteem intact. If true, knowing the truth she can dump the dude self esteem in tact. It's sad to go out of the situation being played, IMO.

 

[MzLady78]

Why?

Real talk - she's not the problem. And to find out "whats what" between A and B, why call C - who's got her own circumstances to sort through. If you don't feel like you can get "whats what" from your man, there's just another reason to let her go...

...I'm just asking...

That's what I'm saying.

I'm sorry, all of that is just real high school to me.

If you gotta be playing Inspector Gadget to get the truth, then you don't need to be in that relationship, period.

 

[MissMasala5]

In which case he needs to grow the hell up and she STILL doesn't need to be with him.

I agree, as stated in my previous post.

 

[Syrah]

The second you consider calling up a third party to get some information on YOUR situation, you need to let it go.

...Seriously.

 

[Syrah]

That's what I'm saying.

I'm sorry, all of that is just real high school to me.

If you gotta be playing Inspector Gadget to get the truth, then you don't need to be in that relationship, period.

I'm with you. I laugh at people who bring third parties into their relationships "to try and get to the bottom of things". It just makes you look even more out of touch... ZERO control over the situation...

 

[MissMasala5]

That's what I'm saying.

I'm sorry, all of that is just real high school to me.

If you gotta be playing Inspector Gadget to get the truth, then you don't need to be in that relationship, period.

You wouldn't be the sort to put up with a guy like that so what you say makes sense. But I have seen women get seriously effed up from BS games men play, and having it damage their esteem in the long run, making future relationships difficult. He may have said this crap about the other woman with the intent to hurt her, period. If he's making it up for that reason, she has the right to know, dumping him notwithstanding. She'll be able to see BS coming from a mile a way in the future.

 

[lexi84]

Because I suspect the dude made it all up to get the OP worked up. One simple call, one simple question, that is all.

WTF??? Who TF cares? OP do not call the other woman, that just makes you just as immature and silly as your man.

 

[MissMasala5]

I'm with you. I laugh at people who bring third parties into their relationships "to try and get to the bottom of things". It just makes you look even more out of touch... ZERO control over the situation...

Zero control over the situation would be her dumping the dude thinking he chose another woman over her, versus her dumping the dude because he was an immature d*ckhead who toyed with her emotions by trying to make her jealous with a lie. I'm looking at this from the OPs perspective, having vested 4 years, not 4 months or 4 weeks, into the relationship.

 

[lexi84]

Then the OP doesn't have that hurt hanging over her head if it was a lie. She can gain the upper hand and dump the dude, self esteem intact. If true, knowing the truth she can dump the dude self esteem in tact. It's sad to go out of the situation being played, IMO.

Calling the other woman isnt going to make her feel any better. And just like Kat Williams says, its the "Esteem of your DAMN SELF"!!! If babygirl needs to call the other woman to make her "SELFesteem" better then babygirl didnt have must self esteem in the first place.

 

[MissMasala5]

Calling the other woman isnt going to make her feel any better. And just like Kat Williams says, its the "Esteem of your DAMN SELF"!!! If babygirl needs to call the other woman to make her "SELFesteem" better then babygirl didnt have must self esteem in the first place.

Again, this has nothing to do with the woman per say, but more to do with the so-called trip. All based upon the notion that the dude is making it up to mess with the OPs head. I base all I say on the contention that he may be making it up. If he is and she can put that to him, she walks away with the upper hand, self-esteem intact, rather than someone who thinks she got played.

 

[lexi84]

Zero control over the situation would be her dumping the dude thinking he chose another woman over her, versus her dumping the dude because he was an immature d*ckhead who toyed with her emotions by trying to make her jealous with a lie. I'm looking at this from the OPs perspective, having vested 4 years, not 4 months or 4 weeks, into the relationship.

If I were the other woman and you called me on this immature stuff, I'd laugh and you'd immediately get the dial tone.....

How high would your self esteem be and how much control would you have after that??

 

[lexi84]

Again, this has nothing to do with the woman per say, but more to do with the so-called trip. All based upon the notion that the dude is making it up to mess with the OPs head. I base all I say on the contention that he may be making it up. If he is and she can put that to him, she walks away with the upper hand, self-esteem intact, rather than someone who thinks she got played.

I'm still not understanding how this is constructive......

I'm not trying to be mean, but this whole thread is FULL of smart responses and good advise and when I saw what you said, it struck a nerve.

But that is all. Back in lurk mode I go until someone else strikes a nerve

 

[Bunny77]

Again, this has nothing to do with the woman per say, but more to do with the so-called trip. All based upon the notion that the dude is making it up to mess with the OPs head. I base all I say on the contention that he may be making it up. If he is and she can put that to him, she walks away with the upper hand, self-esteem intact, rather than someone who thinks she got played.

I guess the thing is, in the end does it matter? If she got played, then that sucks... but if he was making it up, isn't he playing her anyway?

Personally, I wouldn't really care either way... I'd know he's a fool and capable of doing ridiculous stuff and it would be time to go.

And I'm sure that in four years, this is not the first ridiculous thing he's done in the relationship, so she probably has PLENTY of sound reasons for making an exit.

She's probably been getting played for a LONG time!

 

[Windsy]

OH LAWD!!! OP, please don't call this woman to confirm or deny!!!! If this man feels that he has to do that to you, then he has the problem not you!!!

Women, WE have to step up our games, if these men think that stupid, childish stunts like this is where it is at!!! It just pisses me off!!!!

 

[MissMasala5]

I guess the thing is, in the end does it matter? If she got played, then that sucks... but if he was making it up, isn't he playing her anyway?

Personally, I wouldn't really care either way... I'd know he's a fool and capable of doing ridiculous stuff and it would be time to go.

And I'm sure that in four years, this is not the first ridiculous thing he's done in the relationship, so she probably has PLENTY of sound reasons for making an exit.

She's probably been getting played for a LONG time!

You guys are right, it really doesn't matter, he's still a jerk. I retract my advice to calling him out if he were lying. OP should kick him to he curb, regardless.

 

[QT]

WTF???? Who does this??? This sounds like a MADE for hollywood movie. My two cents is let the **** go. b/c it seems like you are forcing him!!! if he care anything about you this wouldn't be a topic/ ISSUE! good luck