he wants to go on holiday with another woman

vestaluv1 said:
OH BOY! You've been with this guy for 4 years, and he still has the nerve to ask such a question... wow!
You would have thought he would have asked the girl if you and he could have gone on the holiday instead!
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i know right, since she (the hoebag) works at a an airline she could have said hey i have this discount holiday dont you wanna take your girlfriend? but well she aint a hoebag for nothing and this dude...4 yrs?? :nono:
 
OP let this joker go, and his crazy family. havent you had enough bad treatment. he may say he loves you but love is not what he is showing you. stop compromising. love yourself enough to cut him off. better is right around the corner i am sure. :yep: ((hugs))
 
neenzmj said:
latebloomer:

I understand that you've been with this person for four years, but length of time together is not necessarily a good determinant for how much a person loves you. A man who loves you and who is totally committed to you and the relationship would never even entertain this type of thing as an option. While upbringing can play a factor in how we approach relationships, there are still some very basic fundamentals that most people know as being right or wrong -- this would certainly fall into the category. The fact that he even considered going somewhere with a another woman speaks volumes about what he feels about your relationship. I agree with you that it is difficult to see and think clearly when you have your emotions involved (and everyone else can see things so clearly.) But I've also learned that it pays to listen to the logical side in these situations and save yourself the further heartache of being in a relationship with someone who clearly doesn't share the same expectations as you. When we think with our feelings, we tend to make really bad judgment calls. Our feelings tell us what we want to believe though the handwriting is so plainly written on the wall.

This is a man who is not committed to this relationship and I suspect you will probably see more indications of this in the future.
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sharentu said:
OP let this joker go, and his crazy family. havent you had enough bad treatment. he may say he loves you but love is not what he is showing you. stop compromising. love yourself enough to cut him off. better is right around the corner i am sure. :yep: ((hugs))
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ITA!!!

When I first got with DH, he got rid of his exes/female stalkers. Anything or anyone who made me uncomfortable or who he knew would try to disrespect our relationship was cut loose. He wouldnt fix his mouth to ask me about vacationing with another woman!

His mother thinks you're out of order?! As long as he doesnt do anything.:rolleyes::lachen:
So you're supposed to sit there and wonder what really happened while they're away? Your bf should love you enough so you wont ever have to go through that. Real talk.
I wish you the best whatever you decide but as someone already posted, he's not that into you and look for more insanity coming from him.
 
Syrah said:
Again, it stems from that same craptastic belief that there only 4 good black men on this earth, 3 of whom are married.

And it's really kinda circular.

Single chicks, like myself, see "good" men giving their women what they want and thinks "I want THAT" not realizing that the reason why ya'll married chicks get what you want is because you set expectations and parameters. "He must be a good man".

...yes, and the good woman he's married to made his behind rise to the occassion or step aside for someone who would...
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That's it:yep::yep: This is so true. It's not that any man is a good man, it's that he does what you expect. In fact, I wouldn't think my dh was considered a good man before he met--dated a girl for years and years and would never marry her, barely bought her a freaking birthday present:ohwell:----and then there was me.

I suspect OP is young. This would not be my man, sorry. Everyone has said everything I was thinking. For him to say that to her, he must be one of these guys that is "waiting on the next best thing" but hanging around with her:sad:
 
latebloomer said:
He said because she's been his friend for so long since they were 15 and it was an pportunity to go any where in the world for a discounted price. He said if it wasnt for that he wouldn't have contemplated it at all, but for me even if it was free i wouldnt have even thought about it....

It made things worse that his mother said i was wrong and trying to control him and he should be able to go as long as he says he wont do anything.... it was a big drama cuz my mama was pi**ed at that remark and told my SO where to get off!

i guess you guys are right i do need to rethink my relationship, he's put me through a whole lot of crap but uses the excuse of i wanted more in the past and it wasnt good enough so he's trying more and i should appreciate it... I think i need to let go but sometimes its hard finding the strength and sticking to it.
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This is such a line OP. I think I've heard it before actually. Let him go. Next he will say "Why should I even try because you're gonna think X, Y, Z anyway"
 
I wouldn't even talk to him any more honestly...let that be your anwser...how does he think your going to feel, and then i bet you he thinks he's being soooo gracious by asking you do you mind,,,kick that dude to the curb 4 real!!! Change your phone number and let " do do do this number has been changed to a non published number please try your call again" let that tell him how you feel.....He's playing you for a fool
 
All I have to say is WOW. I'm STILL scratching my head... :nono:

Just goes to show that there is always someone out there who's situation is worse than yours. :ohwell:
 
heyfranz said:
My BF would not ask me that because he knows i would end the relationship if he even asked. That being said, if i found out he went without asking, it would be over, and no - he doesn't get "rewarded" for being appropriate, but since this issue came up, it's time to re-evaluate your "relationship"
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What relationship? He doesn't seem a man who was in a relationship if he wants to travel with another woman!! :nono:

dlewis said:
I only read the first paragraph. :perplexed:perplexed:perplexed:perplexed:perplexed

Why are you puting up with this?

My man would never ask me no craziness like that. This is insane!!!
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Me too!! I didn't even wanna read the rest! :nono:

Zada67 said:
I swear some men are a trip! I find it very disrespectful that he would even ask you such a thing!

I would be hurt, pissed, and suddenly single if my man asked me if it was ok for him to vacay with another female!
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OOkay!! :sad:
 
He's a BF or an SO? Well, sounds more like he's an SOB. In any case, wish him well, set him free and give him a going away gift of a box of condoms. Of course, poke a needle through each and every one of them.
 
No offense OP but I got extremely aggravated by this thread even before I opened the thread...the title alone was enough. Im not gong to read anymore but I hope things are working out with whatever you decdied to do.
 
hopeful said:
This thread has 150 posts and the op has not posted again even once:look:.
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For the fact that you have read all of the post, i guess you missed that i have replied to people about 3 times... I have already told everyone thank you for the advice. so i dont understand what your trying to say.
 
dlewis said:
I only read the first paragraph. :perplexed:perplexed:perplexed:perplexed:perplexed

Why are you puting up with this?

My man would never ask me no craziness like that. This is insane!!!
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I have to agree, with this foolish, there are plenty, plenty men out there, don't believe the rubbish that there are not enough good men, because they are. If he wants to go on holiday with another woman, you want to go on holiday with another man and dump him!
 
latebloomer said:
For the fact that you have read all of the post, i guess you missed that i have replied to people about 3 times... I have already told everyone thank you for the advice. so i dont understand what your trying to say.
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And I guess you must have missed the post where she said that your responses didn't show up when she looked for them under your stats.
 
MzLady78 said:
And I guess you must have missed the post where she said that your responses didn't show up when she looked for them under your stats.
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I was just about to say...hole up....Hopeful is not like that so let's not even go there, ok? :spinning: Glad you cleared that up. :yep:
 
I know its waaaaayyyy over due and this thread is so old, i just wanted to say that i finally kicked that dude to the curb, i know he could be just a plain old *** sometimes, but i had to do things in my own time when i was ready (i dont know if you guys will understand that). He didnt go on the holiday in the end but it took me a while to realise that this man just did not appreciate me.

I prayed long and hard over it as we were together for about 7 years and i asked god to give me a sign and since i've let him go, it's been hard cuz i've been lonely but it hasnt been as hard or as heart wrenching as it was when i was with him through the bad times. I told myself that something thats good for me, simply cant make me that unhappy. i know its not all smiles and laughter but it cant be that bad.

Well i'm taking it all 1 day at a time and learning to build myself up and love me for me again, i do get lonely and miss the company but i feel a weight has come off my shoulders and my loved ones are being so supportive, thank you to everyone that had something constructive to say in this thread.

xxxx latebloomer - realising my worth all over again xxxxx
 
I'm so proud of you honey. A lot of ladies would've stayed with the guy and been miserable from here on out.

You took control, and that takes courage. There is a new life to live for you, and taking it one day at a time is a great way to start. You will be lonely, you will have some days where you miss him, but what you have done is for the greater good.

Congratulations, sunshine is coming!
 
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