he wants to go on holiday with another woman

[lexi08]

A LOT of women do not feel that way, and are with a man because they are appreciative of that fact alone...simply having one.

ITA and men know that many women think this way deep down, men even encourage this type of thinking..... even expect every women they come in contact with to feel this way.

 

[MzLady78]

I met one of his co-worker recently and she said she teases him about is lunch plate and asks him why he don't cook for me, what does he do for me, etc....

he said "I take care of all outside work and I do what she asks of me and return she provides a home for me and my children. A place that always smells good and that's filled with love." I thought that was sweet that he thinks of me like that. I could have cried when she told me that.

Awww, that is sweet.

 

[STLCoverGirl]

The question for me is Why are you with this man?

What has he done for you?
How does he show that he loves you?
What makes him worth to be with you?

I have always thought I was/am the prize in a relationship. When people asked me when we got married why I didn't get him a gift and he had gotten me one, I explained "I am the gift, I married him, what more should he expect?" And I believe that. He should be honored that I have choosen to spend my life with him.erplexed

We need to put more value on ourselves and stop letting men mistreat us like this. If my husband even even thought to form his lips to ask me something like this I would shoot him dead and use him as fertilizer in my garden.

I love this. I needed to read this today, at this very moment.

 

[TayMac]

No no no! If a man asked me that, first I'd bust out laughing b/c he could NOT be serious. But if I found that he was..I'd say "yeah you can go" and don't call me when you get back because I don't want a man that think it's ok.

 

[Country gal]

Did you ask him why he felt the need to go on this trip with this woman? Why did the woman think it was okay to ask someone's boyfriend to go on a trip with them?

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Welp, these ladies summed it up quite nicely.

OP, what do you intend to do about this?

 

[Syrah]

I only read the title. Ain't no explanation necessary.

He's just not that into you.

 

[MzLady78]

I only read the title. Ain't no explanation necessary.

He's just not that into you.

After 4 years.

 

[Country gal]

The question for me is Why are you with this man?

What has he done for you?
How does he show that he loves you?
What makes him worth to be with you?

I have always thought I was/am the prize in a relationship. When people asked me when we got married why I didn't get him a gift and he had gotten me one, I explained "I am the gift, I married him, what more should he expect?" And I believe that. He should be honored that I have choosen to spend my life with him.erplexed

We need to put more value on ourselves and stop letting men mistreat us like this. If my husband even even thought to form his lips to ask me something like this I would shoot him dead and use him as fertilizer in my garden.

Very good post, Dlewis. If you don't value you, than who will?

 

[jerseygurl]

You can go but don't expect me to be sitting around waiting on you cause as soon as you get on that flight, it's over!!!

Uggghhh, I got upset with his saying that the flight attendant is wife material. If that isn't a red flag, I don't know what is.

PLEASE RE-EVALUATE your PRIORITIES OP.

Don't be surprised if he's suddenly "unreachable" around the trip time.

 

[honeycomb719]

Didnt know a man could be so bodacious with someone who's his women supposely...no other comment

 

[AnjelLuvs]

^^^ All the other ladies had already stated what I was gonna say.... Girl, for him to even ask you such foolishness should have you rethinking this relationship...

 

[Lady Esquire]

You can go but don't expect me to be sitting around waiting on you cause as soon as you get on that flight, it's over!!!

Uggghhh, I got upset with his saying that the flight attendant is wife material. If that isn't a red flag, I don't know what is.

PLEASE RE-EVALUATE your PRIORITIES OP.

Don't be surprised if he's suddenly "unreachable" around the trip time.

Did he really say that? I guess I whizzed thru the original post and missed that. If he said that, then he needs his walking papers.

 

[STLCoverGirl]

Don't beat yourself up over this. A lot of women put up with unnecessary drama and disrespect, you're not the first and definitely not the last. Men seriously come and go, and his actions could be the kicker you need to move on and meet someone better. When my ex and I divorced I thanked him for being one less hurdle I need to get over in life to be where I need to be. It's hard to see it in the moment, but once you move on, and recognize your worth, others will too.

 

[Sasha Fierce]

You are not alone.

I was dating a guy for about 4 months and the relationship never really got off to where we were ready to move to a...well, real relationship. He always had this thing on his mind about moving to another state for work to make more money and find a better job.

He would be rooming with this chick who he had a thing with way back in the day and he told me it was no big deal for him since she was like a sister. (Rooming with her is part of his wanting to move since he could save money by not paying rent but only supplementing the bills. Yeah I know...supposedly her job provides free housing). I did not feel comfortable with this at all but it seemed I would be unreasonable since he talked of the move from the jump.

Anyway, he went to interview for a job there and stayed for almost 6 weeks beating the pavement looking for a job, etc. I tried to be okay and stayed in touch with him while he was there but I was always unhappy about the situation. He finally came back to GA without a job in this other place. I didn't really know what to do but we continued to hang out. 2 days after he got back he got a call from the other state saying he got the job. He was gonna go which really pissed me off because my feelings had been taken on a roller coaster ride from trying to figure out what he would do. The day he was to call back and accept the job, he broke his leg. So now he couldnt go. A couple weeks after that he gets laid off from his job in GA

We are not in the same city now but we still talk daily. I still don't know where this is going. If he could be out of state working and living with that woman right now, I know that he definitely would which is why I don't know why I still hold on. Seems I been putting myself thoughts and feelings on the back burner all the time in this situation. Oh well....

 

[itismehmmkay]

I met one of his co-worker recently and she said she teases him about is lunch plate and asks him why he don't cook for me, what does he do for me, etc....

he said "I take care of all outside work and I do what she asks of me and return she provides a home for me and my children. A place that always smells good and that's filled with love." I thought that was sweet that he thinks of me like that. I could have cried when she told me that.

Too adoreable; I love this

 

[MzLady78]

Don't beat yourself up over this. A lot of women put up with unnecessary drama and disrespect, you're not the first and definitely not the last. Men seriously come and go, and his actions could be the kicker you need to move on and meet someone better. When my ex and I divorced I thanked him for being one less hurdle I need to get over in life to be where I need to be. It's hard to see it in the moment, but once you move on, and recognize your worth, others will too.

I had no idea you were married, STL. Learn something new everyday on here.

I love what you said to your ex-DH, that's a great way to look it that situation.

 

[itismehmmkay]

Don't beat yourself up over this. A lot of women put up with unnecessary drama and disrespect, you're not the first and definitely not the last. Men seriously come and go, and his actions could be the kicker you need to move on and meet someone better. When my ex and I divorced I thanked him for being one less hurdle I need to get over in life to be where I need to be. It's hard to see it in the moment, but once you move on, and recognize your worth, others will too.

You are not alone.

I was dating a guy for about 4 months and the relationship never really got off to where we were ready to move to a...well, real relationship. He always had this thing on his mind about moving to another state for work to make more money and find a better job.

He would be rooming with this chick who he had a thing with way back in the day and he told me it was no big deal for him since she was like a sister. (Rooming with her is part of his wanting to move since he could save money by not paying rent but only supplementing the bills. Yeah I know...supposedly her job provides free housing). I did not feel comfortable with this at all but it seemed I would be unreasonable since he talked of the move from the jump.

Anyway, he went to interview for a job there and stayed for almost 6 weeks beating the pavement looking for a job, etc. I tried to be okay and stayed in touch with him while he was there but I was always unhappy about the situation. He finally came back to GA without a job in this other place. I didn't really know what to do but we continued to hang out. 2 days after he got back he got a call from the other state saying he got the job. He was gonna go which really pissed me off because my feelings had been taken on a roller coaster ride from trying to figure out what he would do. The day he was to call back and accept the job, he broke his leg. So now he couldnt go. A couple weeks after that he gets laid off from his job in GA

We are not in the same city now but we still talk daily. I still don't know where this is going. If he could be out of state working and living with that woman right now, I know that he definitely would which is why I don't know why I still hold on. Seems I been putting myself thoughts and feelings on the back burner all the time in this situation. Oh well....

You need to start moving away from this relationship now. If you can't quit cold turkey, day-by-day you need to be removing yourself from this situation

 

[Spongie Bloom]

You are not alone.

I was dating a guy for about 4 months and the relationship never really got off to where we were ready to move to a...well, real relationship. He always had this thing on his mind about moving to another state for work to make more money and find a better job.

He would be rooming with this chick who he had a thing with way back in the day and he told me it was no big deal for him since she was like a sister. (Rooming with her is part of his wanting to move since he could save money by not paying rent but only supplementing the bills. Yeah I know...supposedly her job provides free housing). I did not feel comfortable with this at all but it seemed I would be unreasonable since he talked of the move from the jump.

Anyway, he went to interview for a job there and stayed for almost 6 weeks beating the pavement looking for a job, etc. I tried to be okay and stayed in touch with him while he was there but I was always unhappy about the situation. He finally came back to GA without a job in this other place. I didn't really know what to do but we continued to hang out. 2 days after he got back he got a call from the other state saying he got the job. He was gonna go which really pissed me off because my feelings had been taken on a roller coaster ride from trying to figure out what he would do. The day he was to call back and accept the job, he broke his leg. So now he couldnt go. A couple weeks after that he gets laid off from his job in GA

We are not in the same city now but we still talk daily. I still don't know where this is going. If he could be out of state working and living with that woman right now, I know that he definitely would which is why I don't know why I still hold on. Seems I been putting myself thoughts and feelings on the back burner all the time in this situation. Oh well....

girl what exactly are you sticking around for?? move on!! its been 4 months you have already disregarded your own needs and wants for someone else's?? why are you waiting for this man?

 

[natural2008]

Girl,
He sees this other woman as wife material? He's been with you for 4 years, how does he see you? My boyfriend wold not ask me no stuff (oh I want to use a cuss word) like that because he knows better. He does not deserve an award for not going.

 

[Shimmie]

I met one of his co-worker recently and she said she teases him about is lunch plate and asks him why he don't cook for me, what does he do for me, etc....

he said "I take care of all outside work and I do what she asks of me and return she provides a home for me and my children. A place that always smells good and that's filled with love." I thought that was sweet that he thinks of me like that. I could have cried when she told me that.

Awwww, that made me cry too. He's so precious.

Lady D, he even went after that deer that hit your car .... now that's a real man.

 

[luvn_life]

I soooo don't wanna sound mean... but, the fact that he asked you, pretty much shows how he feels about the realtionship. I can't even believe he gave it a second thought to ask you a question like that. That is super disrespectful. And then ha acted like he deserved some prize for choosing not to go. He is straight HEARTLESS!!!

 

[Sasha Fierce]

You need to start moving away from this relationship now. If you can't quit cold turkey, day-by-day you need to be removing yourself from this situation

girl what exactly are you sticking around for?? move on!! its been 4 months and you have already disregarded and you have already disregarded your own needs and wants for someone else's?? why are you waiting for this man?

Y'all are both right. We were at 4 months when he first left GA. Now its nearly 7 months that we been talking

 

[dlewis]

Don't beat yourself up over this. A lot of women put up with unnecessary drama and disrespect, you're not the first and definitely not the last. Men seriously come and go, and his actions could be the kicker you need to move on and meet someone better. When my ex and I divorced I thanked him for being one less hurdle I need to get over in life to be where I need to be. It's hard to see it in the moment, but once you move on, and recognize your worth, others will too.

You are not alone.

I was dating a guy for about 4 months and the relationship never really got off to where we were ready to move to a...well, real relationship. He always had this thing on his mind about moving to another state for work to make more money and find a better job.

He would be rooming with this chick who he had a thing with way back in the day and he told me it was no big deal for him since she was like a sister. (Rooming with her is part of his wanting to move since he could save money by not paying rent but only supplementing the bills. Yeah I know...supposedly her job provides free housing). I did not feel comfortable with this at all but it seemed I would be unreasonable since he talked of the move from the jump.

Anyway, he went to interview for a job there and stayed for almost 6 weeks beating the pavement looking for a job, etc. I tried to be okay and stayed in touch with him while he was there but I was always unhappy about the situation. He finally came back to GA without a job in this other place. I didn't really know what to do but we continued to hang out. 2 days after he got back he got a call from the other state saying he got the job. He was gonna go which really pissed me off because my feelings had been taken on a roller coaster ride from trying to figure out what he would do. The day he was to call back and accept the job, he broke his leg. So now he couldnt go. A couple weeks after that he gets laid off from his job in GA

We are not in the same city now but we still talk daily. I still don't know where this is going. If he could be out of state working and living with that woman right now, I know that he definitely would which is why I don't know why I still hold on. Seems I been putting myself thoughts and feelings on the back burner all the time in this situation. Oh well....

That's what I love about this board. So many wonderful women willing to share their stories.

 

[FlowerHair]

If a man asked me that I would even help him pack his bags and take back my key

 

[Spongie Bloom]

Y'all are both right. We were at 4 months when he first left GA. Now its nearly 7 months that we been talking

the longer to it takes to accept the situation the more you will get hurt, this situation will only end one way girl and i wouldnt want to see you get hurt infact i want everyone to get into the new yr with happiness and peace of mind and this cannot be fun for you

 

[♦K.O♦]

for me it would be a straight up NU UH!!going where?? with who?? Hayle NO infact you are letting him off easy by still calling him your SO cause if he was mine he would be let go the moment he asked

If a man asked me that I would even help him pack his bags and take back my key

Yep. I agree with this post and the posts made by everyone else.

Me: So you want to go on a trip with this broad? Cool! Let me help you pack!

Him: The trip is only for a week and it's winter. Why are you packing my summer stuff and all of my other clothes?

Me: Oh sweetie, that's because you're moving out before you take your trip, and I wouldnt want you to forget anything.

 

[lexi84]

My bf whom i have been with for 4 yrs in Feb 09 asked me how i felt about him going on holiday with another woman. I know her but he used to fancy her (i think he still does) and he thinks she's wife material. She is a air hostess and had a ticket at a discounted rate to go anywhere in the world. For me its the principle of going away with another woman for pleasure alone for days is not appropriate especially because i have ahd issues with trusting him in the past and we are trying to work on our relationship.

I explained to him that im not telling him what to do but that is not the type of relationship i choose to have and i would neither find that appropriate. I explained to him that if he went i dont know if i would feel comfortable continuing with the relationship. After argument, he decided to not go, but i have since spoken to a mutual friend who said he spoke to him and he thought i should have done something for him to show him that i appreciate the sacrifice. I'm really upset about this as if one of my male friends asked me to go on holiday with them , i wouldnt even discuss it with my bf as i know he would feel funny about another man asking his gf to go on holiday alone, and i wouldnt want their to be tension in the future between them. so without a doubt i would decline as i feel that one-on-one holidays like that should be kept between you and your man unless your going with family, or your single and therefore have no one else to take into consideration.

The whole appreciating him for NOT going on holiday with another woman really p****d me of cuz of all the things i been through i havent been rewarded for he's simply now treating me the way someone should be treated in a relationhip with respect and consideration the same way you would want for yourself.

Im soooo mad How would you feel if your man asked you to go on holiday with another woman and then asked for a reward of extra apprecitation for NOT GOING

There's no hope for him and no need for discussion. If this were me, I'd just laugh and that would be it. I wouldnt even waste my energy on discussing why its wrong or get my blood pressure up arguing with this fool. How rediculous.

 

[FlowerHair]

MizzEsq^^^^ That's exactly how I meant it

All jokes and hard words aside, I can't imagine how much it would hurt to hear something like that... I would have to keep him on a distance to avoid getting hurt any further.

 

[Ms Red]

Chile please.