I walked in on him with another woman

[ThatJerseyGirl]

dayum....i haven't even had my coffee yet....i don't think u tellin errything

*lights up a newport one hunnit for dis hea mess*

~~ takes a long drag~~

lemme git dis straight. u said yall was datin for 4 years. broke up like 4 times ova da course of da relationship/phuckship, but u say relationship so i'll letchu have that. and u broke up wif him cuz u said he cusses too much. u knew that about him when u met him, now it's a problem?

this last time u broke up wif him. OKAYYY. 4 days later u go ova his house (prolly cuz u was blowin up his phone wif calls n texts so since he ain't respondin, u decided to go ova his house, uninvited) so yall can talk face to face - let u tellit - but fa real fa real u really went ova there cuz he was ignorin u and u wanted to know what he was doin...bein nosey. and i know u went early in da mawnin cuz u woke both of them up.

~~ puffs n plucks ash ~~

I think YOU were da one in da relationship for 4.5 years and i also think there is more to dis hea story too. dis isn't da first time he cheated..dis is da first time u caught him. he just got sloppy n f'got u had da key. oh, u thought cuz u had da key, u had cart blanc priviledges and dat he would be faithful... lololol.....bless ur heart chile...

then again, maybe he wanted to get caught. i dunno.

u can't make a man wantchu and at da same time, u can't change a man. "work on da cussin in counselin"....chile puleez. u keep sayin he disses u, have arguments, but it takes two to tango and i don't think it's all on him.

pull up ur big girl pannies, throw away his key n call it a day.

*sits newport in ashtray*

 

[Makenzie]

Any advice on getting over a breakup and a Broken heart ladies? We also run in the same circle of friends. Do I change up circles. I don't want to be at any events with him or see him with the next girlfriend/victim.

It hurts, but time will soothe the pain. Truly. As for running in the same circles - please. You continue to go out and enjoy yourself. No lengthy explanations needed when asked what happened. Keep those you rely on close to you for emotional support.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Here to give you a ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))).

 

[Lucie]

(((HUGS)))

 

[Sunnrayy]

Hi!
I'm so sorry this happened to you...I really am..
but I do want to tell you even if he's gotten this much of your life (the man I was with before my husband- we were together 4 years) for one, better he didn't get anymore out of you and for two, better you give those years to a man that truly deserves it... that's how I found my hubby- I got over the fact that I wasted some of the best years of my young life on some a-hole....funny, he's out there still messing around and i'm now settling down with our second baby in a happy, loving relationship..

I think this was fate trying to send you a message...
and i'm sorry it came in such a horrible way. I have a feeling you've gotten this message before (or warnings from fate) and you've maybe ignored them (just guessing)? I think it took something this terrible to wake you to the truth
of where your life could be going if you chose to keep him in your heart....but
hopefully it opened your eyes to what was probably going on behind your back
for a while- closing that door to him, in your heart

best advice is break up with him, and take this time to work on yourself...
make yourself happy, buy yourself something nice or just make yourself feel good.. do whatever it takes... and as for friends? I'd pull back from them for a while. They will only make you feel worse because there is always SOMEONE that has to update you/fill you in on his whereabouts, who he's seeing and doing, etc., Plus you don't want to keep the drama circulating around you... friends, although nice, can cause a lot of trouble, even if unintentionally...

It might be tempting to stay around them so they can also update him about what you've got going on in your life... but you don't want to get stuck in that "circle" of being where you're trying so hard, living your life, to make him
jealous. Just push all the negative away and start clearing way for the good- it WILL find you (and maybe sooner than you've expected). For all you know, it's been trying to find you all along and now that you're done with him, your eyes are finally wide enough open to see.

Remember that! <3

Thanks for this message. It was fate. I had no intentions of going over that night but something was propelling me to go. It was like I couldn't get it out of my mind. I had no idea what I was going to see though. I believe it was
God trying to wake me up to what has probably been going on the entire time.

I'm leaving that "circle" of friends because that cycle of jealousy would definitely happen and I'm not trying to stay attached to him or hear any news about him in ANY way. I deleted him from Facebook and Twitter as well.

 

[Sunnrayy]

I have a question. Would it have been better if the woman in his bed was black? I'm trying to figure out how her being white factors into the fact that he slept with someone else.

For some reason all I can think of when I read this thread is Ross saying Rachel, "But we were on a BREAK!"

Honestly, all the breaking up should've been your cue to make an exit a while ago. Plus if after 4.5 years with you he's still not sure about marriage, that means he just doesn't want to marry YOU. Sorry to say it, but it's better to accept it and move on to someone who wants to marry you and who you don't feel the need to break up with once a quarter.

It doesn't matter to me that she's white. If she was black I would've said some black b****. If she was Latino I would of said some Latin b****. I was just giving a description. She is a non-factor in this.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I'm sorry this happened to you, but it looks like you dodged a bullet.

I know it hurt you to see him with another woman, but had you not, you would have made up with him and he would have acted as if nothing happened.

It was a reason you went to his home to confront him. And as bad as that confrontation was, it gave you the answer you needed to move on without him.

 

[Sunnrayy]

OP, Imma keep it really real and say it's partially your fault. The reason I say that is not because you cheated, or actively messed things up. It's because, men will only do to you what you allow and you allowed him to disrespect you. Yes, you broke up with him when it got to be too much... but then you took him back. And that's the crux of it. To men, actions speak louder than words (cuz they think we talk too damn much anyway). Taking him back says, I wasn't really serious. Please disrespect me again, in an even more egregious way, because obviously, I don't mean it when I say I don't like it.

Also, it might seem unduly quick, but four days after a break up is definitely long enough for a guy to locate a willing slide. It sounds like you were expecting him to pine away until you decided his penance was over.

I'm sorry but if someone loves you, a willing slide doesn't seem like it should be on your mind after 4 1/2 years together with 4 days apart. I didn't want
him to sit around and pine away but dang. I feel like men always get a pass "oh he's a MAN they are different sexually from us. No emotion or attachment
goes into the sex so they can just do it and it means nothing."

THat is just a load of crap to me. Everyone likes sex. If I didn't have respect for my body I'd be out there sleeping with every fine man I see. But at the 4 day mark. My heart was still to attached to him to even think about someone else. And if you're truly in love man or woman shouldn't yours?

 

[ThickHair]

this last time u broke up wif him. OKAYYY. 4 days later u go ova his house (prolly cuz u was blowin up his phone wif calls n texts so since he ain't respondin, u decided to go ova his house, uninvited) so yall can talk face to face - let u tellit - but fa real fa real u really went ova there cuz he was ignorin u and u wanted to know what he was doin...bein nosey. and i know u went early in da mawnin cuz u woke both of them up.

^^^That right there.

I'm sorry but if someone loves you, a willing slide doesn't seem like it should be on your mind after 4 1/2 hrs together with 4 days apart. I didn't want him to sit around and pine away but dang. I feel like men always get a pass "oh he's a MAN they are different sexually from us. No emotion or attachment goes into the sex so they cam just do it and it means nothing."

THat is just a load of crap to me. Everyone likes sex. If I didn't have respect for my body I'd be out there sleeping with every fine man I see. But at the 4 day mark. My heart was still to attached to him to even think about someone else. And if you're truly in love man or woman shouldn't yours?

All of the above is on you boo, that is the way YOU feel about the situation, not the way HE feels about the situation. You can't project what you would\should do on to him and think he is going to react the same way.

It is a messed up situation and I wish you happy healing.

 

[MissJ]

You said yourself that you took issue with the fact that he was not ready for marriage after so many years. Now, you see why he's not ready for marriage. I hope you don't go back to him and find someone who is ready for marriage. This probably is not his first "hook up."

 

[MissJ]

Yeah, All the breaking up isn't cool. What he fails to realize is that the breaking up is a response to his disrespect. I never plan to or want to breakup but we'll have an argument and he'll just straight up disrespect me, curse at me or say something so cruel and I'll just react. I've told him this many times but he just puts it all on me.

He doesn't see that he needs to change the disrespect and I'll change the breaking up. But whatever, after seeing that It doesn't even matter anymore.

You taught him that he could do whatever, that your breaking up with him didn't mean anything, because you always went back to him. Heck, he probably picked a fight so that he could have some time alone with the white chick!

 

[Sunnrayy]

dayum....i haven't even had my coffee yet....i don't think u tellin errything

*lights up a newport one hunnit for dis hea mess*

~~ takes a long drag~~

lemme git dis straight. u said yall was datin for 4 years. broke up like 4 times ova da course of da relationship/phuckship, but u say relationship so i'll letchu have that. and u broke up wif him cuz u said he cusses too much. u knew that about him when u met him, now it's a problem?

this last time u broke up wif him. OKAYYY. 4 days later u go ova his house (prolly cuz u was blowin up his phone wif calls n texts so since he ain't respondin, u decided to go ova his house, uninvited) so yall can talk face to face - let u tellit - but fa real fa real u really went ova there cuz he was ignorin u and u wanted to know what he was doin...bein nosey. and i know u went early in da mawnin cuz u woke both of them up.

~~ puffs n plucks ash ~~

I think YOU were da one in da relationship for 4.5 years and i also think there is more to dis hea story too. dis isn't da first time he cheated..dis is da first time u caught him. he just got sloppy n f'got u had da key. oh, u thought cuz u had da key, u had cart blanc priviledges and dat he would be faithful... lololol.....bless ur heart chile...

then again, maybe he wanted to get caught. i dunno.

u can't make a man wantchu and at da same time, u can't change a man. "work on da cussin in counselin"....chile puleez. u keep sayin he disses u, have arguments, but it takes two to tango and i don't think it's all on him.

pull up ur big girl pannies, throw away his key n call it a day.

*sits newport in ashtray*

ok......

we were dating for 4 1/2 years with one break up of 3 mths. We had 3 other break-ups over the course of this time for less than a week each time. Usually over some stupid argument.

I didnt know he cursed the way he does when we became a couple because the 1st year. It never happened. We hardly even had a fight at all the first year. He does it when he gets angry or irritated. Its stupid to me because i feel like you can communicate without all of that whether you are angry or not. He also recognizes it as a problem and so called was trying to change it. (That ish didnt happen)

Also, we both have keys to each others places. I wasnt blowing up his phone. He was blowing up mine. He'd even come by my apartment the day before but I was out doing some xmas shopping. He left a note on my fridge saying he'd been there. I wasnt accepting his calls until I had some time to sit down and figure out what I really wanted to do with this here relationship of ours.

I went over there that night, not the morning. It was around 1am.

I don't know if he's ever done it before. (At this point i don't really care, I saw what i needed to see). But, we both had keys to each others places. He'd show up when he wanted and I'd do the same. At all kinds of weird times on both parts because we both have weird hours. Me especially because I'm not working right now.

He suggested working on the cussing in counseling and his temper in general. We had just started couples counseling. His suggestion because he said he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and he didnt want it to end up like his first marriage with all the arguing and fussing. So he wanted to get himself straight in that dept first.

Either way, it doesnt matter now what his exscuses or reasons for doing any of this were. Ive made my decison. Learned from experience. A harsh experience but I learned.

 

[ThickHair]

Either way, it doesnt matter now what his exscuses or reasons for doing any of this were. Ive made my decison. Learned from experience. A harsh experience but I learned.

Excellent............

 

[Sunnrayy]

Ladies,

I broke up with him that night when I found him with the girl. He begged me not to and ran after me to the car. But I told him it was over and I drove off. He's called and explained himself over and over on voicemail but I havent talked to him since that night.

I know we both hold blame in this situation for various reasons. I shouldnt have stayed so long, he did this and that, etc.

But now, I'm ending it FOR GOOD. No more going back. And I actually am happy this happened. Because THAT was the point of NO RETURN and it had to happen or I wouldve just taken him back again.

It hurts but God showed me what I needed to see and I am so Thankful.

Because this man wouldve become my husband and some kids wouldve come along and it wouldve just been more hurt on a bigger scale.

So I thank God.

 

[adventuregirl30]

I am sorry to be blunt, I know you are hurting and this is a difficult time for you. However, how could you expect someone that immature to be ready for marriage? More importantly why would you want to marry him? He is not marriage material. It kills me how many women of every color are in this situation. A man should want to marry you and feel blessed to do so. If he doesn't, marriage will make a bad situation worse because the reasons he didn't want to get married will cause him to act out, many times out of spite. People aren't who they say they are they are who they have always been. Is this what you want your marriage to look like? Girl, it is time to take a good look at your life and your decisions and take inventory. What you need is to figure out what you want in a relationship or a man, and begin to work on yourself so you can be a good match and attract it. There are no short cuts to a good man or relationship. And though every relationship has its problems, there ARE a few rules that should always hold true, there must be love AND respect. The bottom line he has no respect for you. I will tell you a man isn't going to have a good relationship with someone he doesn't respect. That is why he will cuss and sleep around and think a sorry should be enough. You are teaching him, and those who are watching you, that you don't deserve respect and consideration. The good ones will run the other way, cause it sounds like drama, and the bad ones will line up to take their turn mistreating you and disrespecting you. The only way to change this is to make a choice right now, to make better decisions by learning from your mistakes. What is it that you think is going to happen with this man? He is suddenly going to change, profess his love, and be the man of your dreams? Not likely, at the very least he would need a reason to change and so far you haven't given him one as you will tolerate him disrespecting you even after you have explained how you felt about him cussing you out. Now, it seems like you are actually on the verge of taking him back, and for what? 4 and 1/2 years of disrespect? 4 and 1/2 years ain't nothing in a lifetime. And don't give me the it hasn't all been bad act, because the bad in this relationship is bad enough to overshadow the good. To many women out there that are dealing with men who are almost good catches. I tell my friends like this, if a priest raises millions of dollars for the poor, works diligently in his community, and helps others in their time of need but touches one child...all of the good he has done is tainted. People won't weigh the good against the bad, they will see him for what he is a child molestor. Who would trust him with their child? There are just some lines that cannot be crossed regardless of the good someone has done. He has trample the very basics of being a good man, caring about your feelings and being faithful. Count your losses and your blessings and move on. And if you are carrying some extra drama as well...then please take my suggestion and take sometime to soul search and be honest with yourself so that you can have the life you deserve with the people you need in it.

Best Wishes

 

[Lucie]

I am sorry you had to deal with this. We are here for you. (((HUGS)))

 

[Sunnrayy]

I am sorry to be blunt, I know you are hurting and this is a difficult time for you. However, how could you expect someone that immature to be ready for marriage? More importantly why would you want to marry him? He is not marriage material. It kills me how many women of every color are in this situation. A man should want to marry you and feel blessed to do so. If he doesn't, marriage will make a bad situation worse because the reasons he didn't want to get married will cause him to act out, many times out of spite. People aren't who they say they are they are who they have always been. Is this what you want your marriage to look like? Girl, it is time to take a good look at your life and your decisions and take inventory. What you need is to figure out what you want in a relationship or a man, and begin to work on yourself so you can be a good match and attract it. There are no short cuts to a good man or relationship. And though every relationship has its problems, there ARE a few rules that should always hold true, there must be love AND respect. The bottom line he has no respect for you. I will tell you a man isn't going to have a good relationship with someone he doesn't respect. That is why he will cuss and sleep around and think a sorry should be enough. You are teaching him, and those who are watching you, that you don't deserve respect and consideration. The good ones will run the other way, cause it sounds like drama, and the bad ones will line up to take their turn mistreating you and disrespecting you. The only way to change this is to make a choice right now, to make better decisions by learning from your mistakes. What is it that you think is going to happen with this man? He is suddenly going to change, profess his love, and be the man of your dreams? Not likely, at the very least he would need a reason to change and so far you haven't given him one as you will tolerate him disrespecting you even after you have explained how you felt about him cussing you out. Now, it seems like you are actually on the verge of taking him back, and for what? 4 and 1/2 years of disrespect? 4 and 1/2 years ain't nothing in a lifetime. And don't give me the it hasn't all been bad act, because the bad in this relationship is bad enough to overshadow the good. To many women out there that are dealing with men who are almost good catches. I tell my friends like this, if a priest raises millions of dollars for the poor, works diligently in his community, and helps others in their time of need but touches one child...all of the good he has done is tainted. People won't weigh the good against the bad, they will see him for what he is a child molestor. Who would trust him with their child? There are just some lines that cannot be crossed regardless of the good someone has done. He has trample the very basics of being a good man, caring about your feelings and being faithful. Count your losses and your blessings and move on.

Best Wishes

I think we were posting at the same time. Read my post before yours. You are so right and its so over. I'm thanking God for the blessing of letting me SEE. It couldve been much worse in the grand scheme of my life.

 

[adventuregirl30]

So glad to hear that. You have a good head on your shoulders. You deserve to have someone who loves and respects you. And thank you for sharing your story and its ending as it will help others.

Best wishes

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

good for you. now u can take his x-mas gifts back n getcha self sumfin.

 

[BayAreaDream]

Sorry this happened to you! Some men are just dogs! I had a friend who was with her BF for maybe 3 years, they had their issues but always worked through them. We all went out dancing one evening and he disappeared, she looked for him then just went home (They lived with his mom) when she arrived she found him in the act with a chick!!! She flipped, swung on him and her! He told my girl to leave his house and his mom backed him! SMH. She slept in the car then they made up the next day and it was all bad from there on out! She never forgot and it was always brought up. I say spare your self the heart ache an just leave him.

 

[Sunnrayy]

good for you. now u can take his x-mas gifts back n getcha self sumfin.

that's the plan. Lol. I'm gonna buy myself a nice diamond ring to symbolize my love and respect for MYSELF!!

 

[Honey Bee]

Sunnrayy, I'm glad you decided to end it for real. I hope you can stick to it, cuz sometimes that pattern gets ingrained in certain relationships (breaking up, getting back together, over and over). I want you to take something away from this situation, aside from the fact that he's a dog. When you start dating again, I want you to keep in mind that a new relationship, once you both are committed/exclusive, is not about fun and snuggling. That's a big part of it, of course, but it's also a period of training for your new man. Every woman is different, and they won't automatically know what you're willing to accept. It's up to you to put your foot down at the first sign of any modicum of disrespect. It's okay to overreact slightly, it's a new relationship, and you can later 'claim' that you really didn't know if he had lost his natural mind and therefore you felt you had to shut it down extra-firm-like.

If you want an example, my man tried that loud-voice stuff with me back when we first got together. Mind you, he's not 'like that' generally, but I think there's a moment in a new relationship when you get a little too comfortable. Now, I'm a very small woman, I don't physically scare anyone, but at that moment, giiiiiiirrrrrl, I put some bass in my voice, stepped to him like a dude in the street, and asked him who the phuck he thought he was talking to. Not like I was gonna fight him (well... maybe a little, lol), more like he had completely lost his mind. It never happened again. Because my initial reaction was (over)reaction enough that I made him aware, I was not the one.

 

[MzLady78]

Adventuregirl, that was a damn good post. Really on point.

 

[Afrolatina]

Thanks for this message. It was fate. I had no intentions of going over that night but something was propelling me to go. It was like I couldn't get it out of my mind. I had no idea what I was going to see though. I believe it was
God trying to wake me up to what has probably been going on the entire time.

I'm leaving that "circle" of friends because that cycle of jealousy would definitely happen and I'm not trying to stay attached to him or hear any news about him in ANY way. I deleted him from Facebook and Twitter as well.

No problem!
It definitely was fate and I think God trying to let you know the truth....
I'm so glad that you listened- you didn't deserve this to happen to you
the most beautiful part is you've accepted this truth in your heart and just by doing that, you've gotten rid of all of the bad that's been holding you back for this long... for all you know, your future husband could be a few hours or a few days away.....

I think you have the RIGHT IDEA!
Leave that circle of friends and that life behind. I wouldn't normally advocate something that drastic, but I think it'll just hold you back from your potential. And I think it would just stop you from living your life, for YOU. And good you deleted him from your pages- he shouldn't be able to access any information about you or stalk his way into your life via the internet.

Being that i'm a self-professed self-help book reader, if you're into reading, a book that helped me kind of clear away the old harmful feelings out of my heart and mind (after my 4 year dead-end relationship) was "Love Will Find You" by Kathryn Alice. I don't know if it brought me my SO but it did get a lot of the emotional pain out of my heart for me to start moving forward in my life... I recommend it, I think it'll help you on your journey and, if nothing else, it'll get you to know yourself even better.

BTW: When it comes time to make the list of what you want in a mate, when I made mine, my husband actually ended up being everything on my list loll go figure.

 

[Sunnrayy]

Sunnrayy, I'm glad you decided to end it for real. I hope you can stick to it, cuz sometimes that pattern gets ingrained in certain relationships (breaking up, getting back together, over and over). I want you to take something away from this situation, aside from the fact that he's a dog. When you start dating again, I want you to keep in mind that a new relationship, once you both are committed/exclusive, is not about fun and snuggling. That's a big part of it, of course, but it's also a period of training for your new man. Every woman is different, and they won't automatically know what you're willing to accept. It's up to you to put your foot down at the first sign of any modicum of disrespect. It's okay to overreact slightly, it's a new relationship, and you can later 'claim' that you really didn't know if he had lost his natural mind and therefore you felt you had to shut it down extra-firm-like.

If you want an example, my man tried that loud-voice stuff with me back when we first got together. Mind you, he's not 'like that' generally, but I think
there's a moment in a new relationship when you get a little too comfortable. Now, I'm a very small woman, I don't physically scare anyone, but at that moment, giiiiiiirrrrrl, I put some bass in my voice, stepped to him like a dude in the street, and asked him who the phuck he thought he was talking to. Not like I was gonna fight him (well... maybe a little, lol), more like he had
completely lost his mind. It never happened again. Because my initial reaction was (over)reaction enough that I made him aware, I was not the one.

Love this! It'll be awhile before someone new comes into my life but I will definitely remember this advice. Nip it in the butt from the beginning. Thanks!

 

[Sunnrayy]

No problem!
It definitely was fate and I think God trying to let you know the truth....
I'm so glad that you listened- you didn't deserve this to happen to you
the most beautiful part is you've accepted this truth in your heart and just by doing that, you've gotten rid of all of the bad that's been holding you back for this long... for all you know, your future husband could be a few hours or a few days away.....

I think you have the RIGHT IDEA!
Leave that circle of friends and that life behind. I wouldn't normally advocate something that drastic, but I think it'll just hold you back from your potential. And I think it would just stop you from living your life, for YOU. And good you deleted him from your pages- he shouldn't be able to access any information about you or stalk his way into your life via the internet.

Being that i'm a self-professed self-help book reader, if you're into reading,
a book that helped me kind of clear away the old harmful feelings out of my heart and mind (after my 4 year dead-end relationship) was "Love Will Find You" by Kathryn Alice. I don't know if it brought me my SO but it did get a lot of the emotional pain out of my heart for me to start moving forward in my life... I recommend it, I think it'll help you on your journey and, if nothing else, it'll get you to know yourself even better.


BTW: When it comes time to make the list of what you want in a mate, when I made mine, my husband actually ended up being everything on my list loll go figure.

Thanks. I love self-help books. Just ordered it on amazon. I'm actually looking forward to this new journey. I'm back at home for the holidays and this time away from it all around people who really love me will be just what I need. Thanks again.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Im sorry this happened to you. This is why Im not down with the on and off again relationships. It leads to massive amounts of confusion and hurt feelings. You were technically "broken up" so by default he can do whatever he wants. If i had a bf that broke up with me all the time and he walked in on me with another dude after he said it was a wrap 4 days prior to that, he:

A. would not have a key to my house to even walk in and

B. Id tell him to go **** himself trying to come on my property

But the point is when you do that on and off again crap people basically dont give a shyt anymore and they'll continue to do whatever they want to do because they know you'll take them back anyway He's def a fault too for acting a hot mess but based on your history with him he might feel he doesnt have to do all hat much to keep you because like you proved, you'll be back anyway.

Your best bet is to heal and start the slate clean with a new guy.

 

[Demi27]

Im sorry this happened to you. This is why Im not down with the on and off again relationships. It leads to massive amounts of confusion and hurt feelings. You were technically "broken up" so by default he can do whatever he wants. If i had a bf that broke up with me all the time and he walked in on me with another dude after he said it was a wrap 4 days prior to that, he:

A. would not have a key to my house to even walk in and

B. Id tell him to go **** himself trying to come on my property

But the point is when you do that on and off again crap people basically dont give a shyt anymore and they'll continue to do whatever they want to do because they know you'll take them back anyway He's def a fault too for acting a hot mess but based on your history with him he might feel he doesnt have to do all hat much to keep you because like you proved, you'll be back anyway.

Your best bet is to heal and start the slate clean with a new guy.

Exactly (at the bolded). I learned early on this was NOT the way to go. It basically gives people free reign to say, "What are you upset about? We're not together." Bump that.

 

[MissJ]

The fact that he tried to convince her that he was just hooking up with the woman and to come back to him shows that he was not thinking that they were really broken up. He knew she'd be back and that he'd take her back. He also went into her house unannounced first before she ventured over to his.

 

[Mis007]

Good on you Op, now move onto pastures new.