he wants to go on holiday with another woman

Is he for real?:lachen:

Seriously? :lachen:

Any man with a brain should know asking that question will get him :killlurk::samurai::samurai:
 
YOUR KIDDING RIGHT?!

u mean to tell me some man--fixed his mouth to ask you this?

ok we r on punked--bring the cameras out---Ashton where r u?

cuz i know this has to be a joke
 
dlewis said:
The question for me is Why are you with this man?

What has he done for you?
How does he show that he loves you?
What makes him worth to be with you?

I have always thought I was/am the prize in a relationship. When people asked me when we got married why I didn't get him a gift and he had gotten me one, I explained "I am the gift, I married him, what more should he expect?" And I believe that. He should be honored that I have choosen to spend my life with him.:perplexed

We need to put more value on ourselves and stop letting men mistreat us like this. If my husband even even thought to form his lips to ask me something like this I would shoot him dead and use him as fertilizer in my garden.
Click to expand...



This needed to be resaid.... To many women miss this point...

OP i hope you ditch the dead weight
 
I didn't read through all of the posts but he's not your man.
I can't comprehend why someone would tolerate this behavior from someone...
You stated that you had trust issues so he has obviously done something previously (that you are aware of).
If you didn't need an out before, here's your chance...
 
SmartAlek said:
Now its nearly 7 months that we been talking :ohwell:
Click to expand...

"Talkin'" is for high school and college kids.

Grown a- men shouldn't be "talking" to anyone for that long.

SmartAlek, I know you know this, but I know it's difficult to remove oneself from this situation. You're doing all of this waiting and hoping for someone who isn't even your man. He hasn't even made you an official girlfriend, from what I can tell, and you're putting your life on hold for someone who you don't have a relationship with, but are just 'talking' to?


As for latebloomer, I remember some of your other posts about your man and a LOT does not seem right or sound good about this relationship... you asked him about marriage before and he either blew you off or all but said that he wasn't necessarily thinking about marrying you. Now, whether you're ready for that or not, the point is that he is obviously still out there LOOKING and you might be his Plan B or in-the-meantime girl. Yes, you've been together for four years, but dudes will string you out as long as they can if they're getting their basic needs met, and the minute someone else comes along who they decide is Plan A, you will get kicked to the curb.

And I'm sure that flight attendant has some friends or a mother or someone she could take on a trip with her. Why did she ask YOUR MAN to go? Just the fact that she felt comfortable enough to do that and the fact that he felt comfortable enough to consider it should be a BIG FLASHING HONKING RED FLAG that **** ain't right here...


Ladies, we DO have control of our relationships. We do not have to be at the whims of these men who "just aren't that into us"... but when we let them do what they want, this is what happens.
 
Girl you need new men in your life. The boyfriend and the mutual friend are on some stuff. How dare he even ask. How dare the friend suggest you reward him for doing what he is suppose to do.
 
Country gal said:
Did you ask him why he felt the need to go on this trip with this woman? Why did the woman think it was okay to ask someone's boyfriend to go on a trip with them?
Click to expand...

Exactly. He must have made her feel comfortable enough to ask (i.e. she doesn't know he's in a "serious" relationship) :nono:

I'm so mad I feel like slapping the crap out of the next man that walks by just for the heck of it :ohwell:
 
you can let him go and then he can appreciate you letting him go and doing what he wants instead of being mad that you don't appreciate him not doing something he wants to do for you....he feels like you owe him something since he had to give up something, because if he didn't want to go on the trip with the other chick it would have never came up or even been considered by him to do so, if n e thing it would of been a convo of , she asked me to go and I said no because its not what I want to do and I also like being around you and seeing you happy and I like where Im at, hence there was nothing for him to give up in the first place if that was the case....thats something to appreciate
 
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From the responses in this thread,

I hope this man has Sky Diving Skills ... :kick: Out the plane hatch in mid air bud... :perplexed
 
redbone_412 said:
Exactly. He must have made her feel comfortable enough to ask (i.e. she doesn't know he's in a "serious" relationship) :nono:

I'm so mad I feel like slapping the crap out of the next man that walks by just for the heck of it :ohwell:
Click to expand...
Some women don't care if a man is in a relationship. To them it's ego to know that they were able to get the attention of another woman's man. Not all women are 'sister' conscious. It's all about them (No matter what color/race they are).

And it's sad; they have no bounds of respect for someones's feelings. The man is no better, but still there are women out there who just don't care. :nono:

On the other hand, she, this airline attendant could be desperate and don't have her hair in check like we do here and she'll take any man who comes 'sniffing' her way, cause this man is a dog.
 
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After your initial post and reading the 1st page.

All I can think is DEALBREAKER!! you are not really in a committed relationship if your man is asking you if he can go on vacation with another woman.

What do you suppose would have happened on this vacation with a woman he has feelings for?

This man is not into you the way he should be and I think your wasting your time. Move on.
 
Precious OP, don't let this get you down any further. Stay on top. Keep yourself up, don't let go of your beauty and self respect.

Keep being who you are and watch how God will bless you with someone far better and more of a man than he is.

Also, no matter what, you do not have to 'kiss up to him' or any man just to keep him or make him love and appreciate you. You do not have to prove yourself to anyone. Let 'them' prove themselves to you. Afterall, LHCF and God's women are the best there is.

So tell Mr. Man to 'Top That' if he can; But he can't because he messed up on you big time. It's his loss, not yours. No one is better than you are. There is nothing about you that is any lesser than that other woman. If she were better, she would not be in the picture with him, that's for sure. Quality, follows after Quality. She chose a flea to bed down with and so did he with neither of them to scratch it.

Be blessed OP. Be blessed. :giveheart:
 
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Shimmie said:
Some women don't care if a man is in a relationship. To them it's ego to know that they were able to get the attention of another woman's man. Not all women are 'sister' conscious. It's all about them (No matter what color/race they are).

And it's sad; they have no bounds of respect for someones's feelings. The man is no better, but still there are women out there who just don't care. :nono:

On the other hand, she, this airline attendant could be desperate and don't have her hair in check like we do here and she'll take any man who comes 'sniffing' her way, cause this man is a dog.
Click to expand...

This is so true. I have women running my husband down and I'm sure there's women after him that I don't know about since he doesn't tell me and I have to hear it in the streets.

Some women are attracted to attached men.
 
dlewis said:
This is so true. I have women running my husband down and I'm sure there's women after him that I don't know about since he doesn't tell me and I have to hear it in the streets.

Some women are attracted to attached men.
Click to expand...

Again, it stems from that same craptastic belief that there only 4 good black men on this earth, 3 of whom are married.

And it's really kinda circular.

Single chicks, like myself, see "good" men giving their women what they want and thinks "I want THAT" not realizing that the reason why ya'll married chicks get what you want is because you set expectations and parameters. "He must be a good man".

...yes, and the good woman he's married to made his behind rise to the occassion or step aside for someone who would...
 
I hate to say this but if a dude who claims to be your man ask you if he can go on vacation with another female that he has a history of liking, its basically code for saying,"I don't give a damn about you, and in addition to that, I have zero respect for you." Its either that, or he's super dumb.
 
latebloomer said:
My bf whom i have been with for 4 yrs in Feb 09 asked me how i felt about him going on holiday with another woman. I know her but he used to fancy her (i think he still does) and he thinks she's wife material. She is a air hostess and had a ticket at a discounted rate to go anywhere in the world. For me its the principle of going away with another woman for pleasure alone for days is not appropriate especially because i have ahd issues with trusting him in the past and we are trying to work on our relationship.

I explained to him that im not telling him what to do but that is not the type of relationship i choose to have and i would neither find that appropriate. I explained to him that if he went i dont know if i would feel comfortable continuing with the relationship. After argument, he decided to not go, but i have since spoken to a mutual friend who said he spoke to him and he thought i should have done something for him to show him that i appreciate the sacrifice. I'm really upset about this as if one of my male friends asked me to go on holiday with them , i wouldnt even discuss it with my bf as i know he would feel funny about another man asking his gf to go on holiday alone, and i wouldnt want their to be tension in the future between them. so without a doubt i would decline as i feel that one-on-one holidays like that should be kept between you and your man unless your going with family, or your single and therefore have no one else to take into consideration.

The whole appreciating him for NOT going on holiday with another woman really p****d me of cuz of all the things i been through i havent been rewarded for he's simply now treating me the way someone should be treated in a relationhip with respect and consideration the same way you would want for yourself.

Im soooo mad How would you feel if your man asked you to go on holiday with another woman and then asked for a reward of extra apprecitation for NOT GOING
Click to expand...

Ok, I'm about to leave work but had to reply!

So your man of 4 years wants a "reward" (please don't tell me it a sexual favor) for not going away with another woman that:
a. he fancys
b. he thinks is "wife" material (how did this come up in the conversation?)
c. she is either unaware of your relationship (and felt free to ask him)
or
d. he's been lying or b*tching about YOU (so she feels bold enought to step in).

Why was there even an argument, if he really wanted your opinion.

You must have given the "wrong" answer!

I hate to say this, but its already over in his mind. He's just trying to find ways to make you see it without being the 'bad" guy!:nono:
 
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Syrah said:
Again, it stems from that same craptastic belief that there only 4 good black men on this earth, 3 of whom are married.

And it's really kinda circular.

Single chicks, like myself, see "good" men giving their women what they want and thinks "I want THAT" not realizing that the reason why ya'll married chicks get what you want is because you set expectations and parameters. "He must be a good man".

...yes, and the good woman he's married to made his behind rise to the occassion or step aside for someone who would...
Click to expand...

He says the same thing.
 
dlewis said:
He says the same thing.
Click to expand...

It's true. I just started asking my married girlfriends who they do it....and they started dropping knowledge.

NTM ya'll ladies on this board are NO JOKE. Some of ya'll (yourself included) have dropped some serious gospel on my behind. :yep:

And a lot of it has to do with how we view ourselves. Real talk (and to get back on the subject) - if OP were to allow this man to go on his cruise with Ms. Marriage Material and then crawl back into her (OP) bed, what does that say about how OP feels about herself...and based on that, what is Mr. Man seeing that tells him he should be valuing her?

It took me being out with my friends one night at a networking event and one of them to say "ya know, Syrah, you are sooo much more confident and at east when you're not with Mr. Man" and the other 2 agreed. Red light! Problem. I'm more confident without him??? I shrugged it off (like a typical female) and then a couple of months later, did some serious soul searching and had to let him go.

I need you to uplift how I feel about myself (and vice versa)...
 
I would dump his a$$ as fast as I could possibly get him OUT of my hands!

What nerve! HE IS NOT INTO YOU!

And then a friend feels you should REWARD him for not going on a trip with ANOTHER woman? Omigod!

What give him butt sex? What? What should the REWARD be? You should have asked!
 
Blossssom said:
I would dump his a$$ as fast as I could possibly get him OUT of my hands!

What nerve! HE IS NOT INTO YOU!

And then a friend feels you should REWARD him for not going on a trip with ANOTHER woman? Omigod!

What give him butt sex? What? What should the REWARD be? You should have asked!
Click to expand...

ITA, and the more I think about this I wonder if it is his first time wanting to do something crazy because after 4 years, I just don't see a person smelling themselves that much to fix his mouth and ask something that crazy!!! :nono:
 
latebloomer said:
My bf whom i have been with for 4 yrs in Feb 09 asked me how i felt about him going on holiday with another woman. I know her but he used to fancy her (i think he still does) and he thinks she's wife material. She is a air hostess and had a ticket at a discounted rate to go anywhere in the world. For me its the principle of going away with another woman for pleasure alone for days is not appropriate especially because i have ahd issues with trusting him in the past and we are trying to work on our relationship.

I explained to him that im not telling him what to do but that is not the type of relationship i choose to have and i would neither find that appropriate. I explained to him that if he went i dont know if i would feel comfortable continuing with the relationship. After argument, he decided to not go, but i have since spoken to a mutual friend who said he spoke to him and he thought i should have done something for him to show him that i appreciate the sacrifice. I'm really upset about this as if one of my male friends asked me to go on holiday with them , i wouldnt even discuss it with my bf as i know he would feel funny about another man asking his gf to go on holiday alone, and i wouldnt want their to be tension in the future between them. so without a doubt i would decline as i feel that one-on-one holidays like that should be kept between you and your man unless your going with family, or your single and therefore have no one else to take into consideration.

The whole appreciating him for NOT going on holiday with another woman really p****d me of cuz of all the things i been through i havent been rewarded for he's simply now treating me the way someone should be treated in a relationhip with respect and consideration the same way you would want for yourself.

Im soooo mad How would you feel if your man asked you to go on holiday with another woman and then asked for a reward of extra apprecitation for NOT GOING
Click to expand...

Are you 100% sure he wasn't playing games trying to *** with you? Make you jealous? Men who are insecure can get trifling, immature and petty.

One of my nieces went out of the country without her BF and all of a sudden gets these mysterious texts from someone who claimed to be sleeping with her BF, pregnant with his kid, and all kinds of craziness. Niece was tripping because her cell # was brand new and only a few ppl had it. She had been with the BF for over a year, and the first time she's away from him, this? I told her it's her BF playing games because a real woman would have confronted her face to face, in person, or if over the phone, with a voice call and not texting like that. Men can be silly like that.
 
MedMunky said:
Are you 100% sure he wasn't playing games trying to *** with you? Make you jealous? Men who are insecure can get trifling, immature and petty.

One of my nieces went out of the country without her BF and all of a sudden gets these mysterious texts from someone who claimed to be sleeping with her BF, pregnant with his kid, and all kinds of craziness. Niece was tripping because her cell # was brand new and only a few ppl had it. She had been with the BF for over a year, and the first time she's away from him, this? I told her it's her BF playing games because a real woman would have confronted her face to face, in person, or if over the phone, with a voice call and not texting like that. Men can be silly like that.
Click to expand...

What number was he texting from, though?

As soon as I arrived back home, I would have, from a unknown number, called the text number and see who answered.

Did she not recognize the number?

Men are so dumb... I don't know why we put up with any of them.
 
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