He hit her, but she deserved it, your thoughts?

[MizzBrown]

Better question why would a woman want to be with a man that beats/thinks it's OK to beat women?

No woman really knows he's like that until she gets a black eye. Ask women who've been in those types of relationship.

And he most likely wasnt like that. He just snapped. First time, first victim.

 

[Maynard]

Better question why would a woman want to be with a man that beats/thinks it's OK to beat women?

You know! Now all that particular man has to do is go out an find a woman that thinks its okay to get her head bashed in when she said the wrong thing.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

He didn't hit her though. He got his point across without smacking her up. If you can't get your point across without smacking your SO around, it's time to get another SO

Or invest in some anger management classes.

Or children.

 

[MizAvalon]

Ok.That may be the case.But do you ladies know of any women like Tasha Smith?Do you think its ok to talk to anyone the way she did?It is never ok to hit a woman but I know too many women who need to be single or I understand why they are.Even older women that have been married for years say to pick your battles.Some women always have to have the last word about everything and will say anything to you because they can.

No, the Tasha Smith character was not cool at all. Like I said earlier, I know women like this and they are just awful. My aunt who I referenced, she has a daughter, about 20 now I think and she treats her little boyfriend the same way.

 

[treybaby2005]

Nothing justifies anyone hitting another person.I think Mizzbrown is just trying to say that some women need to check themselves.Just as wrong as it is to hit a woman,it is wrong to taunt him until he does something.

 

[MD_Lady]

I definetly dont want to be with any man who cant take my ranting without resorting to punching me in the mouth. erplexedMost people have sustained some sort of verbal abuse and it's never encouraged to check that with violence. If everyone was allowed to attack folks who have talked to them mean, we'd all be in crutches.
Said "man" needs to realize he got himself a ride to jail.because he crossed the line and actually broke the law.

Thank you.

I don't believe in nagging, but everyone (male and female) does something once in a while to rub their SO the wrong way. If a person is too testy to have their SO express their true feelings, they have no business being in a relationship.

 

[MizzBrown]

Nothing justifies anyone hitting another person.I think Mizzbrown is just trying to say that some women need to check themselves.Just as wrong as it is to hit a woman,it is wrong to taunt him until he does something.

That was the point. Thanks!

 

[mshoney2u]

I missed this post the first time around. Excellent points. To acknowledge that a man has to "put" a woman in her "place" says that he is ABOVE you. I thought a man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Would he hit Christ? Would a man feel the need to put Christ in his place?.....

I glad you brought this up Gin cause like my daddy always say people talk about Christ so what makes you think they wont talk about you.

Christ got talk about, spit on and some more other deeming things and what did he do he turned the other check.

and they telling me a man cant remove himself out of the situation, get in his car and leave!!!!!! and if she wants to get billie bad azzed, drive to the police station and then see how crazy she really is when them law come out.

 

[Ramya]

No woman really knows he's like that until she gets a black eye. Ask women who've been in those types of relationship.

And he most likely wasnt like that. He just snapped. First time, first victim.

I'm sorry but a man only has ONE time to hit me. That's all I need to know. There will be no more relationship and I will press charges. Abuse is not cute. Boo might be right. He said the type of women that date those kind of men seem to love him more than she does herself especially if she justifies staying. The type who want a thug to smack her around in order to "show her he cares." So yeah for me, i would be hit one time and he'd never have the opportunity to hit me again.

 

[mshoney2u]

Nothing justifies anyone hitting another person.I think Mizzbrown is just trying to say that some women need to check themselves.Just as wrong as it is to hit a woman,it is wrong to taunt him until he does something.

But no one is saying she is not wrong. I dont think I think folks are saying that his action overshadow any of her wrongness when he decide to turn it into a physical situation. Just like in school, someone can talk about you all day long but the person that passes the fist lick is the one who gets suspended or the most time being suspended.

 

[treybaby2005]

He didn't hit her though. He got his point across without smacking her up. If you can't get your point across without smacking your SO around, it's time to get another SO

I agree.But the point is why do you have to even go that far with you pushing pushing pushing him til he snaps.Come on ladies,we all know the type."OH yes I can and will say anything to my man and even put my hands on him.But he better not put a finger on me under no circumstances"
Most of the time its about the woman trying to be in control but is that how you want your relationship to be?I know I don't want to be in control.Its not about the man putting her in her place its all about respect for each other.

 

[MizzBrown]

I glad you brought this up Gin cause like my daddy always say people talk about Christ so what makes you think they wont talk about you.

Christ got talk about, spit on and some more other deeming things and what did he do he turned the other check.

and they telling me a man cant remove himself out of the situation, get in his car and leave!!!!!! and if she wants to get billie bad azzed, drive to the police station and then see how crazy she really is when them law come out.

There's a whole HEAP of scripture in the bible relating to man/woman/husband/wife and their place in the household.

No hitting or abuse involved but the whole logistics of a household is something to think about.

 

[treybaby2005]

I'm sorry but a man only has ONE time to hit me. That's all I need to know. There will be no more relationship and I will press charges. Abuse is not cute. Boo might be right. He said the type of women that date those kind of men seem to love him more than she does herself especially if she justifies staying. The type who want a thug to smack her around in order to "show her he cares." So yeah for me, i would be hit one time and he'd never have the opportunity to hit me again.

There are some women like that.But there are some women who go looking for trouble as well.

 

[Ramya]

I agree.But the point is why do you have to even go that far with you pushing pushing pushing him til he snaps.Come on ladies,we all know the type."OH yes I can and will say anything to my man and even put my hands on him.But he better not put a finger on me under no circumstances"
Most of the time its about the woman trying to be in control but is that how you want your relationship to be?I know I don't want to be in control.Its not about the man putting her in her place its all about respect for each other.

I get the type of woman that you guys are describing but again why is HE even with her? He must like to be berated and put down. He's not doing anything about it. Obviously BOTH parties have issues. She has issues b/c she's acting out in that manner and he has issues for sitting there and taking it. I just dont get why anyone would CHOOSE to stay in a hostile situation.

 

[mshoney2u]

There's a whole HEAP of scripture in the bible relating to man/woman/husband/wife and their place in the household.

No hitting or abuse involved but the whole logistics of a household is something to think about.

Your right it is.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

But no one is saying she is not wrong. I dont think I think folks are saying that his action overshadow any of her wrongness when he decide to turn it into a physical situation. Just like in school, someone can talk about you all day long but the person that passes the fist lick is the one who gets suspended or the most time being suspended.

You are 100 % right. No one here is advocating emasculation.

 

[mshoney2u]

I get the type of woman that you guys are describing but again why is HE even with her? He must like to be berated and put down. He's not doing anything about it. Obviously BOTH parties have issues. She has issues b/c she's acting out in that manner and he has issues for sitting there and taking it. I just dont get why anyone would CHOOSE to stay in a hostile situation.

This is what I been saying. Why be with someone like this and then call foul when you get tired

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

I agree.But the point is why do you have to even go that far with you pushing pushing pushing him til he snaps.Come on ladies,we all know the type."OH yes I can and will say anything to my man and even put my hands on him.But he better not put a finger on me under no circumstances"
Most of the time its about the woman trying to be in control but is that how you want your relationship to be?I know I don't want to be in control.Its not about the man putting her in her place its all about respect for each other.

1. The bolded speaks volumes.

2. It's not even about who is in control. It's about a mutual respect that two individuals in a relationship should have for each other. You control children, not significant others.

 

[mshoney2u]

You are 100 % right. No one here is advocating emasculation.

MPJ- You know when people get into a heated discussion and they are really kinda saying the same thing just in different ways. I think that maybe what is going on in here.

 

[mshoney2u]

1. The bolded speaks volumes.

2. It's not even about who is in control. It's about a mutual respect that two individuals in a relationship should have for each other. You control children, not significant others.

ITA and AMEN to the bold.

 

[treybaby2005]

1. The bolded speaks volumes.

2. It's not even about who is in control. It's about a mutual respect that two individuals in a relationship should have for each other. You control children, not significant others.

I don't want to be the one in control of everything.Some women do.Just like abusive men go after a certain type of women.It is about respect.Thats what I said after the bolded.I'm not saying I want a man to tell me when it is time to breath but I certainly dont want to be the head of household when I have a man.Thats all I'm saying.Maybe its not coming out right what I am trying to say.I don't want a man I can walk all over and vice versa.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

(((Hugs to all of you ladies)))

:Rose:

 

[NYAmicas]

I agree.But the point is why do you have to even go that far with you pushing pushing pushing him til he snaps.Come on ladies,we all know the type."OH yes I can and will say anything to my man and even put my hands on him.But he better not put a finger on me under no circumstances"
Most of the time its about the woman trying to be in control but is that how you want your relationship to be?I know I don't want to be in control.Its not about the man putting her in her place its all about respect for each other.

That type of woman is triffling, no doubt about it but I assure you I hold a wife-beater in more disgust.
We all have our breaking point, some are just not condonable.

 

[MizzBrown]

I get the type of woman that you guys are describing but again why is HE even with her? He must like to be berated and put down. He's not doing anything about it. Obviously BOTH parties have issues. She has issues b/c she's acting out in that manner and he has issues for sitting there and taking it. I just dont get why anyone would CHOOSE to stay in a hostile situation.

Whats hostile for some is a cakewalk for others. My married friends tell me this all the time.

I always hear their stories and think, "girl, just leave!" and then they remind me that i aint married and you pick and choose your own battles or else you will be single for life.

One woman can stand semi hostile arguments every now and again.

Another woman may NOT however she deals with something else in her household/relationship that another woman couldnt stomach and would leave immediately.

Everyone has their own vice. Once could bash you for staying with a man who has 3 kids and 3 baby mommas. You could bash her for having a single man with no kids but he sells drugs.

Which situation is more hostile?? One can say its not hostile at all. Just peachy!

 

[NYAmicas]

I agree.But the point is why do you have to even go that far with you pushing pushing pushing him til he snaps.Come on ladies,we all know the type."OH yes I can and will say anything to my man and even put my hands on him.But he better not put a finger on me under no circumstances"
Most of the time its about the woman trying to be in control but is that how you want your relationship to be?I know I don't want to be in control.Its not about the man putting her in her place its all about respect for each other.

That type of woman is triffling, no doubt about it but I assure you I hold a wife-beater in more disgust.
We all have our breaking point, some reactions are just not condonable.

 

[Divine_Order]

Nothing justifies anyone hitting another person.I think Mizzbrown is just trying to say that some women need to check themselves.Just as wrong as it is to hit a woman,it is wrong to taunt him until he does something.

That's what I was getting from the OP as well. I don't think it was anyone's intention to condone domestic violence.

 

[treybaby2005]

That type of woman is triffling, no doubt about it but I assure you I hold a wife-beater in more disgust.
We all have our breaking point, some reactions are just not condonable.

I can't stand a woman beater.They DO need to buried alive.

 

[Ramya]

Whats hostile for some is a cakewalk for others. My married friends tell me this all the time.

I always hear their stories and think, "girl, just leave!" and then they remind me that i aint married and you pick and choose your own battles or else you will be single for life.

One woman can stand semi hostile arguments every now and again.

Another woman may NOT however she deals with something else in her household/relationship that another woman couldnt stomach and would leave immediately.

Everyone has their own vice. Once could bash you for staying with a man who has 3 kids and 3 baby mommas. You could bash her for having a single man with no kids but he sells drugs.

Which situation is more hostile?? One can say its not hostile at all. Just peachy!

Oh i get it, it's the old "accept anything if you want a man/want to keep a man" thing. I don't buy it. Abuse is not cute. Dysfunctional relationships are not cute. Both situations are not only hostile, they're also stupid. Verbal and/or physical abuse are serious and reveal REAL issues that both parties might have. You see the thing about a man hitting a woman (even if it's his first time) is that he's thought about it before. How do I know? Well you will never do anything in life without first thinking about it. It's human nature. So will he hit her again? Probably so and thus the cycle of abuse continues. So YES she's really stupid and desperate for staying with him.

 

[DSP]

People love to talk about the extreme behaviors of some to justify violence against women. "He hit her? Well she must've driven him to it and needed to be put in her place." What grown ass person needs to be "put in her place" like a smart-mouthed 5-year-old? If a woman is going off the deep end like that on a regular basis, she needs therapy, not a slap in the mouth. That's some "You'll beat me if you love me" ish right there. Where I come from striking a woman is the mark of a man of low character and meager intellectual resources.

 

[MizzBrown]

Oh i get it, it's the old "accept anything if you want a man/want to keep a man" thing. I don't buy it. Abuse is not cute. Dysfunctional relationships are not cute. Both situations are not only hostile, they're also stupid. Verbal and/or physical abuse are serious and reveal REAL issues that both parties might have. You see the thing about a man hitting a woman (even if it's his first time) is that he's thought about it before. How do I know? Well you will never do anything in life without first thinking about it. It's human nature. So will he hit her again? Probably so and thus the cycle of abuse continues. So YES she's really stupid and desperate for staying with him.

Not so much accept anything to keep a man but my married friends would tell me that i overreact. So quick to just leave.

What someone deems dysfunctional, another may claim its healthy. What one considers abuse, another finds normal.

I think women who stay with men who beat them are crazy. They think i'm crazy for other reasons that i deal with in my relationships. Peoples perception.