He hit her, but she deserved it, your thoughts?

[Ramya]

What's wrong with a man being a man and telling the woman to back off when she is nagging him? How about him removing himself from her presence? Or when she is calm letting her know her actions ain't cool. If he knows she has characteristics he don't like it's up to him to speak on it. A real man can handle get his point across without violence or even the threat of violence.

ITA! There above reasons are NEVER good excuses for a man to hit a woman . Why is it sooo difficult to walk away, turn your phone off and let her cool off cause obviously she's upset.

 

[mshoney2u]

Are you saying that if I am running off my mouth my man is entitled to smack me in my mouth? I don't think so luv. If my Grandpops slapped my Nan I think she would have used the machete on him, no joke. My Gran is a cigar chomping womanist, for sure. As for my mother, my Dad tried that one on her......... lets just say she gave him his walking papers, found someone else who respects her as an ADULT and in so doing, thought her daughters about respect for self and not settleing for less than what one deserves.

Girl my Grandmothers were like yours they didnt play the stuff. Not AT ALL. I am still shaking my head

 

[spelmanlocks]

NO. Noone ever deserves to have anyone put their hands on them, unless they put their hands on them I believe. If a woman is nagging a man to the point where he wants to hit her, its time for him to walk out the door and never look back.

 

[Ramya]

we are a generation of modern woman

ask your moms or grandmoms back in the day the wife got a little slap cross her face when she got too rude

society has made us feel that even smacking our children is bad, sorry but if my kids disrespect me they're gettin a slap

not BATTERED

like i said b4, batterin is nasty

a slap yes

a kicking and punching down - hell no

The men in my family DO NOT and HAVE NOT hit their women. Matter of fact if a man even tried to look like he wanted to hit somebody, a beat down was in order by all of the able bodied relatives. My husband/boyfriend is not my father and does not have the right to "slap" or "spank" me into submission

 

[DSP]

If you as a grown up can not settle disputes without laying hands, you dont need to be in a relationship. Try again. Go back to kindergarten ninja

Basically!

we are a generation of modern woman

ask your moms or grandmoms back in the day the wife got a little slap cross her face when she got too rude

society has made us feel that even smacking our children is bad, sorry but if my kids disrespect me they're gettin a slap

not BATTERED

like i said b4, batterin is nasty

a slap yes

a kicking and punching down - hell no

Um, my grandfather used reason and love, not his hands, to communicate with my grandmother. And as crazy as my mother is, she would have burned my father in his sleep if he ever hit her. In 22 years, DH has never laid a hand on me and rarely raises his voice. That's not how either of us saw adults interact when we were children and it's not tolerated in our home.

There is a huge difference between chastising a CHILD and laying hands on another ADULT. When adults disagree, they typically talk about it and if it gets too heated, they go off and cool down.

Let a man walk down the street and slap a stranger who annoys him and see if he doesn't get arrested for assault. I deserve AT LEAST the physical safety and respect afforded to a stranger.

 

[Tarae]

we are a generation of modern woman

ask your moms or grandmoms back in the day the wife got a little slap cross her face when she got too rude

society has made us feel that even smacking our children is bad, sorry but if my kids disrespect me they're gettin a slap

not BATTERED

like i said b4, batterin is nasty

a slap yes

a kicking and punching down - hell no

Definitely not. As much as my grandmother nagged my grandfather, and as much as my mother nags my father, neither were crazy enough to lay a hand on their wives. It just does not go down like that.

And, IMO, their is a difference in spanking your CHILD if they are misbehaving or being disrespectful and hitting your spouse if they are nagging you.

 

[prettypuff1]

THANK YOU! Agree with your whole point of view and post. And yes i will NOT spare the rod on my child either.

those are two differnt instances. A child is someone you are training, someone who is not on the same level as you. To say he can hit you means that he is not on the same level and he is above you some how..


I know we all have breaking points, if you can't keep it together when someone gets on your nerves then you need to do some serious soul searching. I can't pop off and hit my mom when she gets on my nerves, Do i get to punch my boss in the face when he is riding my butt... Next time my teacher gets out of pocket, its gonna get real for him.

Come on. We cant control ourselves?

 

[mshoney2u]

Amerikan ITA with EVERYTHING you said. Your family sounds like mine too IT AINT GONE HAPPEN. I already have been raised no man has no business putting his hands on me at this point except maybe my daddy (cause you know your parents feel you aint never to old to get a back hand)

The men in my family DO NOT and HAVE NOT hit their women. Matter of fact if a man even tried to look like he wanted to hit somebody, a beat down was in order by all of the able bodied relatives. My husband/boyfriend is not my father and does not have the right to "slap" or "spank" me into submission

 

[DSP]

Excactumundo!

I'm sorry but I have to politely disagree w/this.
Most men that hit are serial hitters,they are looking for a certain type of woman and these woman are looking for them.
It's not just that serial hitters get put down by their woman they either tend to date woman that know how to push their buttons repeatedly or are with woman that are dependent in other ways,on first look very submissive but to depend as much on him and his abusiveness as he does on her and her percieveed submission.

Serial hitters (and their woman) choose the situation they are in repeatedly,over and over again.Maybe with a different partner but it's still the same pattern.
So no this excuse it not valid b/c he is not with her by coincidence (at least in most cases) he's with this woman that verbally abuses him for a reason,his own ulterior motives.
HGe could have just passed her up and took a chick that isn't verbally abusive,he didn't and ten bucks says his next gf will be the same way

Well said! I'll just leave it at that...

 

[MizAvalon]

None of the examples you used IMO should result in a man striking a woman. My mom used to nag the hell out of me, should I hit her?
My husband whines like no other, should I punch him in the mouth?

I see it like this......the man is usually stronger than the woman therefore when it comes to the physical it's not a fair fight so a real man wouldn't even go there. Unless she's coming at him with karate or WMDs or something no argument would ever have me encouraging a man to assualt a woman.

Completely agree with this. I can't believe abusive behavior is being defended.

But I see that some people are fine with their man slapping/hitting them if they get too mouthy. I guess if that works for you.

 

[MD_Lady]

If she's fighting him with words, he needs to fight back with words. If he escalates the exchange into a physical one, he could be getting more than he bargains for (because not every woman takes getting hit lying down).

 

[Candy_C]

ok, calm down

i'm just sayin what i'm sayin lol

 

[Arcadian]

It is only justified if she is a physical threat.

I totally agree. If a woman is going to be man enough to to hit a man, she's man enough to get knocked out.

Verbal stuff, no, the guy should walk away. Get a restraining order if necessary but just walk, because as soon as he hits her, she'll get crazy call the police and you can guess who ends up in jail.

-A

 

[SqrpioQutie]

depends on whether or not i give a **** about the woman in question....

 

[DSP]

depends on whether or not i give a **** about the woman in question....

I heart you.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

I heart you.

well cuz u know, i'm just saying what i'm sayin...

 

[somethingdifferent]

Do you think some women who get hit deserve what they get?

If I see woman constantly berating a man, pushing hit buttons, pushing and pushing until he reaches his breaking point where he feels backed into a corner and he lashes out and hits her, I don't feel sorry for her at all. I don't think a man should be hitting on women, but I also don't think a woman should treat a man as if he's not a man by constantly picking and picking until....

Examples...

- following him around the house nagging and nagging

- talking an issue to death when he's shown you he's done with that convo

- running up on him with your hands all in his face

My question ultimately is...what's worse...a man hitting a woman or a woman driving him to it?

Your thoughts?

No one can make one do what he does not want to do so therefore it is impossible for a person to "drive" another person to hit you.

A man or woman who believes that "she deserved it" or "I pushed him to it" is simply making excuses for inappropriate behavior.

 

[The Girl]

I don't think men should just beat on women for no reason.

However, men are human beings just like women are. If somebody pushes you beyond that breaking point you're going to lash out. Imagine if a man was nagging you, talking crap about you, talking stuff about your family, telling you this & that, pushing every button you had, getting all in your face, bringing up old things and pouring salt in every wound you had? Would you not lash out and hit him? I'm sorry, I have a breaking point whether you're male, female, family, stranger, etc. And I'm sure men have them too.

But its only WORDS right? I know I get my feelings hurt from time to time and yes words do hurt ...then I realize its only words and why should I lower my self control to let them affect me like that? Yeah, its not hard, I am not a hitter. I think physical violence is just resulting to a very base nature of humanity, like animalistic.

ETA: I removed the name part of the quote b/c its not a personal query to the poster just my reaction to the statement.

 

[FlowerHair]

Do you think some women who get hit deserve what they get?

If I see woman constantly berating a man, pushing hit buttons, pushing and pushing until he reaches his breaking point where he feels backed into a corner and he lashes out and hits her, I don't feel sorry for her at all. I don't think a man should be hitting on women, but I also don't think a woman should treat a man as if he's not a man by constantly picking and picking until....

Examples...

- following him around the house nagging and nagging

- talking an issue to death when he's shown you he's done with that convo

- running up on him with your hands all in his face

My question ultimately is...what's worse...a man hitting a woman or a woman driving him to it?

Your thoughts?

A real man doesn't hit women
No matter what!

 

[Butterfly08]

physically harming a man can be equal to mental abuse


words are powerful

would a woman be justified if she was talking about a mans dead mother for example?

i think he can physically handle her if shes mentally abusing him too

if i punched a man i would hope he would restrain me only

but if i was spitting in his face, calling him names, breaking him down

i would expect a slap

i think BATTERING is another issue a man shouldnt BATTER a woman

I disagree. I think he should end the relationship if his woman can't control her tongue and pushes him to the brink of physical violence. That verbally agressive woman is wrong, but two wrongs don't make a right. He has the power to walk away. Physical abuse is DOUBLY wrong - because it is both physical and emotional.

 

[MD_Lady]

Do you think some women who get hit deserve what they get?

If I see woman constantly berating a man, pushing hit buttons, pushing and pushing until he reaches his breaking point where he feels backed into a corner and he lashes out and hits her, I don't feel sorry for her at all. I don't think a man should be hitting on women, but I also don't think a woman should treat a man as if he's not a man by constantly picking and picking until....

Examples...

- following him around the house nagging and nagging

- talking an issue to death when he's shown you he's done with that convo

- running up on him with your hands all in his face

My question ultimately is...what's worse...a man hitting a woman or a woman driving him to it?

Your thoughts?

But you know what, there's a lot of guys out there who don't want their women to say anything to them about what they are/are not doing, period. If I'm messing up and not doing what I need to be doing in my marriage, I fully expect my husband to call me on it and these men should be held to that same standard.

 

[Butterfly08]

Completely agree with this. I can't believe abusive behavior is being defended.

But I see that some people are fine with their man slapping/hitting them if they get too mouthy. I guess if that works for you.

Me neither.

 

[MD_Lady]

ok, calm down

i'm just sayin what i'm sayin lol

I know this is off topic, but your hair is beautiful!

 

[Connie]

Walking away doesn't always shutup a nagging SO. Like another poster mentioned, many times the men who walk away get followed all over the house and sometimes out of the house and all over the city. Say what you want, but some women will intentionally push a man to the point of getting physical just to see him end up in jail just because he made her mad.

I feel that if a woman start pummeling her man with her fists after he repeatedly tells her to stop (and I've seen this ish happen a LOT), and he hits her once and she calls the police to have HIM arrested, the cops should put the handcuffs on her too or HE should press charges.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

Damn.. If accept you man hitting you- excuse me, popping you on the hand everyone once in a while, what else will you accept?

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

Walking away doesn't always shutup a nagging SO. Like another poster mentioned, many times the men who walk away get followed all over the house and sometimes out of the house and all over the city. Say what you want, but some women will intentionally push a man to the point of getting physical just to see him end up in jail just because he made her mad.

If a gun is not put a man's head forcing him to hit a woman, than it is his on doing (read: his fault) that he is in jail. You are responsible for your own actions. No one elses.

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

I'm sorry but if my husband slapped me in the mouth for something I said the next conversation he will be having his beggin bubba not to get in that a**. I'm not going to lie I have said some things to my DH that weren't nice but that doesn't give him the right to put his hands on me. Not to mention we have a little son who does and says whatever he sees his daddy do. If I let his daddy hit me cause I got "out of pocket" and act like it's okay what kind of example would I be setting? I'd be sending a man into the world that thinks it's okay to hit women. Then twenty years from now someone is going to be on LHCF talking about my no good son who slapped her across the face cause she was nagging him. Then asking where are all the GOOD black men.

 

[Maynard]

Damn.. If accept you man hitting you- excuse me, popping you on the hand everyone once in a while, what else will you accept?

Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrl. "He pistol whipped me, threw me down the stairs, broke 3 of my ribs, I cant quite see correctly out of my left eye and my right nostril twitches... but I deserved it, dont get me wrong...after all I called his mama fat"

 

[NYAmicas]

I dont think people are aware that there are laws against striking folks.

They're in place because we're all going to lose our temper and pop off every now and then (well I do) but no one has the right to put their hands on another. Who'd regulate that? One "*** you" equals one drop kick to the behind?

And my punch is nothing compared to most men. So me slapping my husband would not be alright but it cant compare to the damage he could do to me. Fair fight anyone? I doubt anybody would be applauding you for beating down a handicapped person or a child who talked too slick.

 

[TCatt86]

There is no excuse for a man to hit a woman. Unless he is being given a Mike Tyson beat down. If I verbally assaulting you then by law all you can do is verbally assault me back. I'll be d***ed if my man slapped me in the mouth for getting out of the way. How old am I? The only person that can still slap me is my mama.

Most men I know when they feel they want to hit the woman they walk away. Because the police aren't going to accept "Officer I hit her because she called me a b****" Even if she hit him first, bothe parties will go to jail not just the man.