He hit her, but she deserved it, your thoughts?
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MizzBrown
Well-Known Member
Those are women things too.
You know women will spit in your face, scratch your face after you done lubed up your own face w/ vaseline EXPECTING a fight, women cheat, we are quick to tear out a women's weave when called out of our name's, etc.
How does a woman assert her womanhood?
A man can assert his manhood by his choice of words and actions.
Rather than leave a bickering woman in the yard setting fire to his clothes, he can choose the action of staying in his own house and using choice words and actions.
My dad chose to use an action. It worked. Mom didnt get a scratch on her. Just the shock of her life as she should have.
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
Wow @ some of the opinions in this thread.
I don't think anything, save physical attacks justifies a smack across the face. That's stupid logic, especially adult to adult relations. Woman mouths off on and on, you get OUT of that situation and if it constantly gets to the point of wanting to lash out at a woman/woman wanting to lash out at a man then it's time to put things in perspective.
If the woman is beating up on the man, I think he can usually find a way to restrain her. However, she keeps punching up on him like she wants to throw down and he gives her a hit, while I think that is wrong (on BOTH ends) I can moreso understand that before a woman getting smacked for words.
Who the heck is ANY person, man OR woman that thinks they have it like that to hit someone to "put them in their place" because they said something they didn't like? Then it's time to leave and cut ties!!
~*Janelle~*
I don't think anything, save physical attacks justifies a smack across the face. That's stupid logic, especially adult to adult relations. Woman mouths off on and on, you get OUT of that situation and if it constantly gets to the point of wanting to lash out at a woman/woman wanting to lash out at a man then it's time to put things in perspective.
If the woman is beating up on the man, I think he can usually find a way to restrain her. However, she keeps punching up on him like she wants to throw down and he gives her a hit, while I think that is wrong (on BOTH ends) I can moreso understand that before a woman getting smacked for words.
Who the heck is ANY person, man OR woman that thinks they have it like that to hit someone to "put them in their place" because they said something they didn't like? Then it's time to leave and cut ties!!
~*Janelle~*
spelmanlocks
Well-Known Member
We should not have men thinking they can hit a woman if she pops off at the mouth too much. Men have more weight and muscle and could potentially really hurt a woman by hitting them. I don't think me cursing you out, gives you the right to put bruises on me. Men should also be aware that the police don't care if your woman was berating you, in most places if you hit someone the police will cart your behind away. So men should be aware that one of the grand reactions of hitting a woman could be jail time and assault charges. I don't think saying she was calling me a punk will hold up to well in court, unless she hit him and it was self defense. And we all know the police will not hesitate to throw a black man in jail as it is.
Ramya
New Member
That comment wasn't in reference to a married couple. However, 1) if a woman talks to her So/DH like that on a regular and 2) the So/DH allows it, then they both have bigger problems than slapping the sh*t out of her won't address.
ETA: If a man putting his hands on a woman does not emasculate him, then nothing does.
UGH ITA
I just finished talking to boo about this. I mean he's a big man 6'5 250 some odd pounds. I don't even compare to him in size or muscular power.
If he were to hit me, hed do some serious damage. I asked him what he'd do if I was popping off at the mouth and he said he'd leave until both of us have calmed down. And then I asked him what would happen if I hit him. He said there was no way that a REAL man could justify hitting a woman for slapping him up a little. And if she were causing him REAL harm he would remove himself and/or call the police to remove her. The truth is he knows that if he were to hit her back, he would go to JAIL for a long time. Grandma dem' in some of yall families just accepted this kind of behavior but now the laws are becoming more and more protecting of our women. (for good reason b/c grandma dem' were getting abused)
He also said "why would a man feel the need to discipline a woman like a child and that yall need to want more than a weak man who can't control his temper" (his words not mine 
)
Butterfly08
New Member
mshoney2u
Well-Known Member
She plays apart in it too Miz Brown. But ultimately his part is bigger because he should have left long time ago. Why be with a woman like this? They have a name for a woman who bicker, nag, emasculate, taunt, tease and harrass and it is call a *****. Why would any real man want to be with a *****. I say if he like it I love it but dont call foul and start passing licks when you sick of playing the games. I stand by what I said and it aint right to put your hands on a woman behind some words.
Ms. Plain Jane
New Member
Ms. Plain Jane
New Member
UGH ITA
I just finished talking to boo about this. I mean he's a big man 6'5 250 some odd pounds. I don't even compare to him in size or muscular power.
The truth is he knows that if he were to hit her back, he would go to JAIL for a long time. Grandma dem' in some of yall families just accepted this kind of behavior but now the laws are becoming more and more protecting of our women. (for good reason b/c grandma dem' were getting abused)
He got a brother?
NYAmicas
Seeker
Oh I agree with that wholeheartedly. My point is how a man chooses to respond to that is his responsibility and he should be aware of the consequences. IMO striking folk aint the road to success.
Ms. Plain Jane
New Member
Right.
When people start choosing SOs who will help lift them up, they will do better.
treybaby2005
Well-Known Member
I read this post.I was just saying that no it never ok to hit another person.A real man or woman won't provoke you for whatever reason.I'm saying it goes both ways but when a man hits a woman,he is automatically wrong which he is but that woman had it coming with all the taunting getting in his face,following him,challenging him to fight,calling him everything you can think of just to get him all riled up to see how far he will go then when he up and acts on it whether he cusses you out or hits you,you are shocked and ready to label him a woman beater.So if one believes that it is okay for a man to hit a woman, is it okay for a man to be unfaithful to her? I mean, a real man needs/has more than one woman.
Tarae
New Member
Yeah, because he is.
spelmanlocks
Well-Known Member
mshoney2u
Well-Known Member
Right.
When people start choosing SOs who will help lift them up, they will do better.
and there it is ITA!
MizzBrown
Well-Known Member
Spitting= spitting on the ground (think thug life)
scratching= scratching balls
No one should get hit. Period. But I dont like how women think they can say and do anything and not expect some kind of reprecussions(sp?) for their actions.I cannot set my man's stuff on fire, clear out his bank account, throw his child out on my front porch, show up at his job fussin' and make him lose his job, throw bleach all in his car, etc. etc.
I cannot do all that and not expect a GRAND REACTION. And its stupid to think women can do said things and then stand there with hands on hip saying "And what!? What you gonna do about it?"
treybaby2005
Well-Known Member
That is true.He will be held accountable for what he did.
Ramya
New Member
MizzBrown
Well-Known Member
Then what are you for acting like a plumb fool riling him up then?
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
Exactly. Why do men beat? Because of things they don't like and choose not to control emotions over. Didn't clean the house like I wanted? *SMACK* Didn't come in from work on time? *SMACK*
Said something I didn't like and "pushed my buttons too far" *SMACK*
One way may be villainized more than the other but the outcome is the same.
And yes, MPJ, all of this can be avoided by people choosing better mates...on the male AND female's side...
~*Janelle~*
Ramya
New Member
Better question why would a woman want to be with a man that beats/thinks it's OK to beat women?
Ms. Plain Jane
New Member
I cannot set my man's stuff on fire, clear out his bank account, throw his child out on my front porch, show up at his job fussin' and make him lose his job, throw bleach all in his car, etc. etc.
I cannot do all that and not expect a GRAND REACTION. And its stupid to think women can do said things and then stand there with hands on hip saying "And what!? What you gonna do about it?"
Make up your mind, boo. Is it okay or not? You have some brave, new responses going on up in this piece!
Ms. Plain Jane
New Member
MESSAGE!!!
MizzBrown
Well-Known Member
Make up your mind, boo. Is it okay or not? You have some brave, new responses going on up in this piece!
I'm allowed to have a gray area. I aint running for presidency. It aint okay to get hit. It aint okay to act plumb fool and not expect a reaction.
treybaby2005
Well-Known Member
Ok.That may be the case.But do you ladies know of any women like Tasha Smith?Do you think its ok to talk to anyone the way she did?It is never ok to hit a woman but I know too many women who need to be single or I understand why they are.Even older women that have been married for years say to pick your battles.Some women always have to have the last word about everything and will say anything to you because they can.
Maynard
Well-Known Member
Wow @ some of the opinions in this thread.
I don't think anything, save physical attacks justifies a smack across the face. That's stupid logic, especially adult to adult relations. Woman mouths off on and on, you get OUT of that situation and if it constantly gets to the point of wanting to lash out at a woman/woman wanting to lash out at a man then it's time to put things in perspective.
If the woman is beating up on the man, I think he can usually find a way to restrain her. However, she keeps punching up on him like she wants to throw down and he gives her a hit, while I think that is wrong (on BOTH ends) I can moreso understand that before a woman getting smacked for words.
Who the heck is ANY person, man OR woman that thinks they have it like that to hit someone to "put them in their place" because they said something they didn't like? Then it's time to leave and cut ties!!
~*Janelle~*
I missed this post the first time around. Excellent points. To acknowledge that a man has to "put" a woman in her "place" says that he is ABOVE you. I thought a man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Would he hit Christ? Would a man feel the need to put Christ in his place?.....
MizAvalon
Well-Known Member
I cannot set my man's stuff on fire, clear out his bank account, throw his child out on my front porch, show up at his job fussin' and make him lose his job, throw bleach all in his car, etc. etc.
I cannot do all that and not expect a GRAND REACTION. And its stupid to think women can do said things and then stand there with hands on hip saying "And what!? What you gonna do about it?"
A man needs to run away from this type of woman and fast. The type that will do all of these dramatic, over the top things just to get a reaction out of him.
He doesn't need to hit her, he needs to send her to a doctor because she's freaking crazy!
This is what MPJ was trying to say earlier, I think. I tried to say it too in my own way. If these types of things are going on, slapping her, hitting her, putting her in her place, is not going to accomplish anything. If what is described above is what is going on, then there are much bigger issues at work.
Again I ask, ok he shakes her up a little bit(in whatever form that may be) and she backs off for that instance. What happens 2 months later when they're in the same place again? They need to get to the root of the real issue.
Ramya
New Member
He didn't hit her though. He got his point across without smacking her up. If you can't get your point across without smacking your SO around, it's time to get another SO
Tarae
New Member
A plumb fool that chose a "man" who doesn't want to 'emasculate' himself by leaving but rather emasculate himself by laying a hand on his SO.
Either way, I'm not seeing the rationale behind this 'she deserves to be put in her place'.
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