He Doesn't Believe in Celebrating Valentines Day

Another thought I had...
Men expect sex and whatnot from women they're seeing, why do women have to seek approval or apologize for wanting gifts? :look: :lol:
 
Men may expect sex while dating but women aren't under any special obligation to give them sex. And any man that acts entitled to sex just because he gave his date a present would deserve to be called an jerk plus a whole bunch of names. We'd all be lining up to call this attitude a major red flag.

What I'm curious about is how well matched the OP and her bf are outside of this issue. Two months is long enough to know whether attraction and compatibility are strong enough for a healthy relationship. I can't believe that if everything else is firing on all cylinders, the OP would be taking this so seriously.
 
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Excellent point too.

I think it's one of those things that if you have to ask about this situation then you feel the relationship is not progressing the way you want or maybe it is but the person must compare it to a past relationship or someone else. Forget about that. How is the relationship going for you? Do you really care about presents for Valentine compared to how things to going?
 
UPDATE (Please don't quote):

Well, thanks to you ladies I got PARANOID! Some of you mentioned he probably has plans on the 14th, and I was his valentines side piece.. and others went on to say he's a cheapskate. I guess I'm still young and impressionable because I ran with that...

I met up with him today (at his house) and started to go through his things everytime he left the room. While going through his personal possessions, I was caught! He got mad at me and flung me across the room. Thankfully I landed on some cushions but that's not the point. How dare he even touch me. I started shouting, "I know you're hiding a b!tch from me. That's why you're not spending valentines day with me!!" At this moment, he paused, and said, "This is what this is all about? Why didn't you just tell me what was on your mind." By now I'm sobbing and still cursing him out. That's when he revealed a diamond tiffany bracelet. My tears quickly turned my frown into a smile because now I was crying out of happiness. I hugged him to say thank you & he said "No, that's what I got you before I found out you're crazy! Now get the fcuk outta my house." I'm crying as I type this... I don't know what to do...
 
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You still sound crazy and that snapshot ain't convincing me otherwise.

ETA: If we're some crazy heauxs why would you ask for our advice, again?
 
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It's SUNDAY, but

OP, when you ask for advice you open yourself up to the good and the bad. At the end of the day, YOU are responsible for your own actions. No one advised you to go through his things. Take this as a lesson learned. You can only control yourself, and in this situation you didn't.

I'm not even going to comment on the fact that he flung you across the room...
 
@0live0il *sigh*

As I mentioned up thread you really don't seem ready for a healthy adult relationship.

ETA: HOLD UP! Totally forgot about the part of him flinging you across the room. Be glad you landed on some cushions and move on out of his life.

As for you...and I say this with only love in my heart...if you really did what you did, you need help. (and that is a big IF because I'm pretty sure you hve a history of fake phuckery around here) This is not healthy relationship behavior. This is not only intrusive and invasive with regards to his private space. It undermines and damages YOU.

Please, please, please, seek some kind of counseling. A therapist would be best or maybe a trusted spiritual advisor.

Until you deal with whatever hurt and pain is in your heart this pattern will keep repeating itself.
 
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So he assaulted you and is calling you out of your name and you are begging him to talk to you? He has his game on point! (If this was a true story)
 
ambergirl said:
@0live0il *sigh*

As I mentioned up thread you really don't seem ready for a healthy adult relationship.

With regards to him, the best you can do is apologize and try to explain why you did what you did. Do you have a history of being hurt and betrayed by men? If so, now's the time to share that with him. But you also need to be clear that this is YOUR issue not his. Ask for his love, patience, and understanding as you work through this pain and then let it go. The ball is in his court after that.

As for you...and I say this with only love in my heart...if you really did what you did, you need help. This is not healthy relationship behavior. This is not only intrusive and invasive with regards to his private space. It undermines and damanges YOU.

Regardless of whether or not this relationship works out, please, please, please, seek some kind of counseling. A therapist would be best or maybe a trusted spiritual advisor.

Until you deal with whatever hurt and pain is in your heart this pattern will keep repeating itself.
Click to expand...

A therapist? I don't need no damn therapist. What I need is that Tiffany bracelet around my naked arm. I'm on my way to his house again ..

Wish me luck!
 
0live0il said:
A therapist? I don't need no damn therapist. What I need is that Tiffany bracelet around my naked arm. I'm on my way to his house again ..

Wish me luck!
Click to expand...

All of that for a $300 bracelet? I am sorry, but no.

You ain't got to lie to kick it.
 
I say this respectfully. You are not ready to have a relationship.

First off, you were totally wrong to go snooping through his stuff. Don't blame this on being young and impressionable. You clearly have major trust issues if just the idea that he's cheating would make you take leave of your senses like that. You really need to ask yourself where this insecurity of coming from. This is not normal behavior. (Put yourself in his shoes...would you want a bf who snoops through your stuff and then blames it on what some randoms on the Internet said?)

Secondly, he FLUNG you across the room. Do I need to say more? That is out of line. Your snooping doesn't absolve him. This is abuse.

Thirdly, so what that he gave you fancy jewelry?! He freakin FLUNG you across the room, yo. The fact that the mere sight of this gift was enough to make you happy is a major sign you have messed up priorities. Don't let a man get away with abusing you and then fall for the okeydoke when he flashes something shiny in your face!

Olive, if you can't trust a man to not cheat on you, and if you can't trust him not to put his hands on you, then it doesn't matter how many trinkets he showers upon you. Trust and respect are much more important than expensive presents.

Stop texting him. Damage is done. Y'all don't need to be together anymore.
 
idk what to tell you. You violated him by going through his stuff and broke his trust. There might not be any redemption from that. I'm more concerned with dismissing his physical behavior, that's not cool and it usually gets worst. why would you want to stick around?

I believe it allowing adults to make their own decisions, so if you plan to stay with him (which it seems you want to) tell him you've been hurt before and have trust issues so you need him to be patient with you. Apologize again and ask him to forgive you...if that doesnt work threaten to press charges for assault.
 
This chick has no life because she stays making up stories.

OP head on over to that boo-less Valentine's thread where you belong. :lol:
 
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0live0il said:
A therapist? I don't need no damn therapist. What I need is that Tiffany bracelet around my naked arm. I'm on my way to his house again ..

Wish me luck!
Click to expand...

I got tricked big time!

Who are you...you have many posts so I'm not sure but this situation can't be real. In case it is real you both dodged a bullet. I would not go to his house to pick up the bracelet.

I must say the above quote is funny.

You're good OP. :lachen:

ETA:
ThirdEyeBeauty said:
He's about to surprise you good or bad--hopefully good. What is he doing for you now?
Click to expand...

It makes sense now. No wondered so many questions went unanswered. And what man who likes a woman would not give her at least a card or small gift for Valentine even if he doesn't know what Valentine is. You have what it takes to be a mystery writer if you are not one professionally already.

Wow that was good. I was feeling bad for you. :lachen:
 
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BEAUTYU2U said:
You still sound crazy and that snapshot ain't convincing me otherwise.

ETA: If we're some crazy heauxs why would you ask for our advice, again?
Click to expand...


Oh lawd. You read my mind. Imma take my crazy behind self outta here lol.:lachen::yep::grin::yawn::lol:

Let's see next year it will be it's time for him to propose. How does thee go about about making him do it?
 
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0live0il said:
If you have nothing helpful to say, then don't respond please!
Click to expand...


This is inteneded to help. Stop dating for right now and deal with your emotional unavailability issues. Only then will you not have to stress about a man getting you a valentines day gift and taking you out because he genuinely will want to.
 
0live0il said:
UPDATE (Please don't quote):

Well, thanks to you ladies I got PARANOID! Some of you mentioned he probably has plans on the 14th, and I was his valentines side piece.. and others went on to say he's a cheapskate. I guess I'm still young and impressionable because I ran with that...

I met up with him today (at his house) and started to go through his things everytime he left the room. While going through his personal possessions, I was caught! He got mad at me and flung me across the room. Thankfully I landed on some cushions but that's not the point. How dare he even touch me. I started shouting, "I know you're hiding a b!tch from me. That's why you're not spending valentines day with me!!" At this moment, he paused, and said, "This is what this is all about? Why didn't you just tell me what was on your mind." By now I'm sobbing and still cursing him out. That's when he revealed a diamond tiffany bracelet. My tears quickly turned my frown into a smile because now I was crying out of happiness. I hugged him to say thank you & he said "No, that's what I got you before I found out you're crazy! Now get the fcuk outta my house." I'm crying as I type this... I don't know what to do...
Click to expand...

Put on a ski mask, sneak back in and getcho bracelet

0live0il said:
text_zpsfbfeac45.jpg
Click to expand...



laugh.gif
 
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