Lenee925
Well-Known Member
not even a card and candy? a gas station rose? a flower he snatched from her neighbor's yard?
He Doesn't Believe in Celebrating Valentines Day
- Thread starter 0live0il
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not even a card and candy? a gas station rose? a flower he snatched from her neighbor's yard?
Anakinsmomma
Well-Known Member
Oh goodie!! Still early 
Run OP. like PP said, this is the time he's supposed to be impressing you and what is he doing? Making excuses so he can be cheap.
Run OP. like PP said, this is the time he's supposed to be impressing you and what is he doing? Making excuses so he can be cheap.
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Just tell him you want to do something for v-day. I dated a guy who didn't like celebrating any holidays. v-day, birthdays, especially his own birthday, never wanted to receive a gift. but i just said i'd really like to go out for v-day. he understood that even though he wasn't into holidays, they were important to other people, so we went out.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
but he doesn't celebrate Vday and she does. some men just don't. all she needs to do is to decide if getting a gift for this holiday is what matters the most to her. as long as he doesn't forget birthdays, and christmas, what is the big deal?
i don't expect stuff, because i am always getting something, or being treated special. that's what matters the most to me. not a gift on Vday.
but like someone said, your love language is gifts, so you need to make that clear.
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HAIRapy
SuperDuper Member
Ugh... I hope he didn't say it like that. I agree with gently letting him know that you expect to celebrate V-day. If he doesn't care enough to do something on a day that you (the person he's supposed to care for and make happy) said you enjoy, that would be the writing on the wall. Here's another option: If he doesn't celebrate it, give him an option to do something special the day before... or the weekend before to make up for not celebrating it..
lacreolegurl
New Member
I'm with the others. I think you should mention that you like celebrating Valentine's day, but after only two months, I would be reasonable with my expectations. If he knows you like it and still doesn't do anything, then that would be a red flag.
Personally, I don't generally celebrate Valentine's Day (weird, I know)...but my love language is not gifts. I like year round random surprise acts that just show me that you're thinking about me.
Personally, I don't generally celebrate Valentine's Day (weird, I know)...but my love language is not gifts. I like year round random surprise acts that just show me that you're thinking about me.
LoveBeautyKisses
Well-Known Member
I agree to one of what the posters gently stated.
Think of it as a commercial.
At this time a guy is supposed to be advertising himself to you.
Showing u that he is the one....
For him to say that maybe he doesn't do Valentine's Day. But he should at least do something nice for you regardless of what day it is.
Oh as far as the gold digger comments...
Smh
Please!!!!!!
When a guys cares about you he will do what he has to do to keep you happy.
I don't care if he's broke, he can at least make dinner or something.
It's crunch time.
Think of it as a commercial.
At this time a guy is supposed to be advertising himself to you.
Showing u that he is the one....
For him to say that maybe he doesn't do Valentine's Day. But he should at least do something nice for you regardless of what day it is.
Oh as far as the gold digger comments...
Smh
Please!!!!!!
When a guys cares about you he will do what he has to do to keep you happy.
I don't care if he's broke, he can at least make dinner or something.
It's crunch time.
LoveBeautyKisses
Well-Known Member
Some men don't do nothing for their woman unless its Valentines Day....
0live0il
New Member
Okay, so I sent him a text (Yh I'm part of that generation 
) telling him that I'd like to celebrate Vday and it's an important day for me. He responded that he can't go against his beliefs (he's atheist? So I don't know what he's talking about) but will compromise with me and we can make plans to go out on the 15th Feb.
I think that's fair. As long as I get a gift, I'm cool
) telling him that I'd like to celebrate Vday and it's an important day for me. He responded that he can't go against his beliefs (he's atheist? So I don't know what he's talking about) but will compromise with me and we can make plans to go out on the 15th Feb.I think that's fair. As long as I get a gift, I'm cool
Okay, so I sent him a text (Yh I'm part of that generation
I think that's fair. As long as I get a gift, I'm cool
Im sorry but..
erplexed
ambergirl
Well-Known Member
Okay, so I sent him a text (Yh I'm part of that generation
I think that's fair. As long as I get a gift, I'm cool
What??? Well I'll give ole boy points for creativity. My dad is an avowed atheist and my mother is showered with gifts on V day, Xmas, Easter, any holiday.
If you like it, I like it.
Me and SO are the same so I aint got no problem with his reasoning. That and valentines day makes us feel nauseous lol. We went all out on our anniversary with the romance and spending, and we do romantic things regularly. It's definitely something about Valentines day we do not like.
Oh well
ambergirl
Well-Known Member
He said, he doesn't believe in commercialising love.. blah blah.
ambergirl I believe so! We are exclusive. Hmm, now you're making me paranoid
Sorry. Didn't mean to make you paranoid. But I just don't buy his reasoning. To me this is similar to those men who say they don't believe in marriage and then a few months later show up married.
Valentine's Day isn't about a gift and doesn't have to be about the commercialization of love. It's just an opportunity to show your SO how much you appreciate them. A card, a rose, some chocolates, maybe a dinner out it's just not that complicated.
That he's making thing about the actual day is what's weird to me. If you don't believe in it then what difference does it make what day you celebrate?
Anyway. Good luck.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
that's still very commercial. you are suppose to do that all of the time. Vday is about gifts, not about love.
chronicity
Well-Known Member
I hope I won't be accused of being a quain or some such by expressing this opinion, but if its worth anything, gifts are not my "love language" so that is where my perspective is coming from.
How meaningful is a gift if it has to be asked for? So he runs to the store and picks you up some Victoria Secret lotions or lingerie from the clearance bin, puts the stuff in a pretty little box, and hands it over to you on the 15th. Does this act of appeasement (because that's what it is...he's not doing this to impress or flatter you, but rather to placate you) really make it up for the fact that he sees the whole thing as a bunch of consumeristic rigamarole and you clearly do not?
I'm not saying this is a sign of a huge incompatibility and that y'all should break up, but you do need to keep an eye on this issue. I'm actually like your bf in that I could care less about receiving gifts. Gestures and acts of service mean infinitely more to me. Gifts given out of obligation or guilt typically are not going to be of the same quality as gifts given out of goodwill and love. So OP, if you and him stick it put, you need to set your expectations low in this particular area, because otherwise you will be disappointed every holiday. You also might want to figure out how he expresses love, so that you can receive validation from the ways that come natural to him.
He has been honest with you about his feelings when it comes to gifts. You can choose to take it personally and be offended, or you can choose to use this to test how well you and him can compromise and still be happy.
How meaningful is a gift if it has to be asked for? So he runs to the store and picks you up some Victoria Secret lotions or lingerie from the clearance bin, puts the stuff in a pretty little box, and hands it over to you on the 15th. Does this act of appeasement (because that's what it is...he's not doing this to impress or flatter you, but rather to placate you) really make it up for the fact that he sees the whole thing as a bunch of consumeristic rigamarole and you clearly do not?
I'm not saying this is a sign of a huge incompatibility and that y'all should break up, but you do need to keep an eye on this issue. I'm actually like your bf in that I could care less about receiving gifts. Gestures and acts of service mean infinitely more to me. Gifts given out of obligation or guilt typically are not going to be of the same quality as gifts given out of goodwill and love. So OP, if you and him stick it put, you need to set your expectations low in this particular area, because otherwise you will be disappointed every holiday. You also might want to figure out how he expresses love, so that you can receive validation from the ways that come natural to him.
He has been honest with you about his feelings when it comes to gifts. You can choose to take it personally and be offended, or you can choose to use this to test how well you and him can compromise and still be happy.
tinkat
Well-Known Member
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
thank you! i never seen so many women caught up over Vday! so what happens the rest of the year? people are willing to break up over a dang commercialized holiday? do folks not get treated special on a regular day? what am i missing here?
my man does something special for me all of the time. i am not going to be butt hurt of a holiday. i get cards, gifts, special little treats, money, massages, foot rubs, hugs & kisses, compliments, sweet text messages, gas, bills paid, stuff for my children, he cooks for me, buys little snacks, etc... my point is, he doesn't need a holiday to prove to me that i am special to him.
ambergirl
Well-Known Member
Not to me 10 char
Wanting a valentines day gift is golddiggerish?to each his/her own.
I wouldn't say "golddiggerish" but this is VERY materialistic. (just my opinion).
I've never caredfor a gift on a particular day. Nice gestures were appreciated, but I never wanted a man to feel like he had to buy me. Now, this is my perspective and I respect others
0live0il
New Member
<shrug> Different strokes for different folks. Once upon a time (when I was high school, I shared a similar mentality) I used to believe a man could love me without showing he could provide for me. Do you know where that got me? No where, nada, zilch, stuck at ground zero! And often times, I sacrificed a lot.
I used to be the girlfriend who was happy with a smile! While my girlfriends were out getting their driving lessons paid for, vacations, new dresses etc. I was at home talkin' bout, I know he loves me because he makes me smile! Fcuk that sh!t! All those kneegrows turned out to be some stingy a$$holes!
The only reason I haven't dropped this one yet, is because 2 months is still relatively new and I know some people truly don't believe in celebrating Vday but can be generous. I'm going to see what happens on the 15th Feb. If I don't get a decent gift that day, fcuk him! I don't need a man to make me smile.. I have family and friends for that.
What she said
ambergirl
Well-Known Member
Mmmmm... Okay. Never mind.
