He Cried Like A Baby...help Me Understand

[FelaShrine]

Op no judgement here, but this post sounds emotional.
It sounds as though there are emotionl ties and that you are in denial or are not aware of them yet. If you guys are/were just friends then keeping the ring shouldn't be an issue. It has sentimental value. Completely understandable. But instead of just tossing it you made a moment out of it with your friend.

It also sounds like you are seeking validation. You wanted to know for sure that he's crying because he still has a thing for you. An ego boost.

If you don't want the ring, then go ahead an pawn it. You should also let your friend go about his way happily married or not.

Not married and even Im rolling eyes hard at the "caretaker" nonsense. Aint no one buying that nonsense OP. You were able to get in contact somehow, shoulda asked for his address and sent it. Simple. The whole "omg I can't believe he's still crying about me" is FOS and reminds me of a certain thread in OT. Who y'all fooling

Honestly though this is something you discuss with single friends not a forum filled with wives

 

[Zuleika]

Who initiated contact/suggested dinner date?

 

[Always~Wear~Joy]

There is no reason why we could know why he was crying. Like none.

/endthread

 

[Dee-Licious]

/endthread

Nooooooo... We gotta know how the dinner plan got setup to fully understand to answer the question

 

[TrulyBlessed]

Just curious if this is the same married ex who reaches out to you every 6-8 months, said he thinks he made a mistake getting married, and can't stop thinking about you.

 

[SuchaLady]

Just curious if this is the same married ex who reaches out to you every 6-8 months, said he thinks he made a mistake getting married, and can't stop thinking about you.

 

[k_enitan]

POSSIBLE ANSWERS

You said you don't get it. Maybe you don't get it because he was crying about something private. We can't know.

So I'll make something up that could explain it:

Possible situation #1:
His wife has a terminal illness. He's very happy with her. But her pending death has him very emotional. He wanted to make sure that he saw the other person he once loved when he was a teen, because he realizes life is short and he just hasn't seen you in decades. He's simply wondering how you are.

He sees you. You are not dying. His wife is. He wants you to keep the ring to keep the old memories in tact. You try to force the ring on him. This taints the simple, good memory he had of his teen courtship. He thinks about how that memory couldn't even stay in tact. He thinks about how soon he'll only be having memories of his wife.

He cries uncontrollably.

Possible situation #2:
Similar story as above, but he lost his child or fetus.

Possible situation #3:
Similar story as above, but he just lost his mother or father.

Possible situation #4:
Similar story as above, but he just lost a close high school buddy.

I shared my previous statements because I don't think women are considerate enough of married women sometimes, but they might not be aware of the fact. I am fully aware of how the man SHOULD be the responsible one. That doesn't mean I won't be going all out for my fellow sisters. They can trust me FULLY. I'm on all our sides.

Scenario 1 is immediately what I thought of when I read the OP and I strongly suspect that is it...though I am not wishing death on anyone.

 

[k_enitan]

Not married and even Im rolling eyes hard at the "caretaker" nonsense. Aint no one buying that nonsense OP. You were able to get in contact somehow, shoulda asked for his address and sent it. Simple. The whole "omg I can't believe he's still crying about me" is FOS and reminds me of a certain thread in OT. Who y'all fooling

Honestly though this is something you discuss with single friends not a forum filled with wives

My thoughts exactly.

Also, still curious on who initiated the meetup...

 

[silverbuttons]

Are you kind of salty that he didn't marry you, OP? Considering that you two were in love...

 

[Kindheart]

Op no judgement here, but this post sounds emotional.
It sounds as though there are emotionl ties and that you are in denial or are not aware of them yet. If you guys are/were just friends then keeping the ring shouldn't be an issue. It has sentimental value. Completely understandable. But instead of just tossing it you made a moment out of it with your friend.

It also sounds like you are seeking validation. You wanted to know for sure that he's crying because he still has a thing for you. An ego boost.

If you don't want the ring, then go ahead an pawn it. You should also let your friend go about his way happily married or not.

and there it is . Op wanted him reminisce about the good times when he loved her ..that's the meaning of the ring . To bring those feelings out .
OP if you didn't care you wouldn't be concerned to know why he was crying . Ego. That's my perception.

 

[Foxglove]

Just curious if this is the same married ex who reaches out to you every 6-8 months, said he thinks he made a mistake getting married, and can't stop thinking about you.

 

[BrownSkinPoppin]

Just curious if this is the same married ex who reaches out to you every 6-8 months, said he thinks he made a mistake getting married, and can't stop thinking about you.

And the plot thickens....

 

[Xavier]

Who initiated contact/suggested dinner date?

I was the first to ask this, followed by someone else, and now you're asking...OP skipped over each on of our questions.

 

[BrownSkinPoppin]

@Xavier so we have our answer then. If he asked her I believe she would've included that tidbit in the beginning.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

In the OP, we learn that both parties have moved on and that the man was crying uncontrollably. In the thread, we learn that both parties had their relationship like a DECADE and a HALF ago as teenagers.

Have moved on, both parties have.
Both.
Have moved on.
Man crying uncontrollably.
Uncontrollably.

Uncontrollable crying sounds like recent or pending loss of someone he's been close to for years. You don't cry uncontrollably over old acquaintances from a decade ago that you haven't been keeping up with--especially from your childhood when you were in your teens.

Very likely, this adds up to the tears being about something very sad in the man's life -- something that has even MORE value/poignancy to him when he reminisces about old high school times back in the day when he was a teen and life was simple and full of good memories.

I reiterate that something was happening like the several scenarios I painted above. The tears are about something in his life. Poor guy.

UNLESS . . . details have been left out of this story.

 

[qchelle]

Just curious if this is the same married ex who reaches out to you every 6-8 months, said he thinks he made a mistake getting married, and can't stop thinking about you.

Everyone stop what you're doing and read this post. We are being played like that "husband" is playing his wife smh

 

[Phoenix11]

Just curious if this is the same married ex who reaches out to you every 6-8 months, said he thinks he made a mistake getting married, and can't stop thinking about you.

No not the same person.

 

[Phoenix11]

Bottom line is had dinner & drinks. Talked about high school days & got caught up with what is going on in each other lives. It was not a date.

I could have returned the ring in a variety if ways as you all have suggested. I chose to do it the way I did. I did not want to hold on to it any longer and I didn't think it was right to sell, pawn or throw it away. He ultimately accepted it back and after in time I'm sure he will appreciate its return.

Ego boost? I was flattered by his "love" remark yes. But that was a long time ago. I acknowledged it and move on to another topic.

I guess I will never know why he cried.

 

[Phoenix11]

Are you kind of salty that he didn't marry you, OP? Considering that you two were in love...

Nope. Not salty at all.
It was young love.
Glad we both got to experience other relationships.

 

[Phoenix11]

@Xavier so we have our answer then. If he asked her I believe she would've included that tidbit in the beginning.

You don't have your answer because I have not disclosed.
So eager to assume & paint a negative portrait.

It doesn't matter who asked.
We both agreed to meet.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

@Phoenix11 , when was the last time you'd seen this guy -- before your dinner excursion?

 

[Phoenix11]

A

@Phoenix11 , when was the last time you'd seen this guy -- before your dinner excursion?

About 8 years ago.

 

[babyt87]

It doesn't matter who asked.
We both agreed to meet.

 

[BrownSkinPoppin]

You don't have your answer because I have not disclosed.
So eager to assume & paint a negative portrait.

It doesn't matter who asked.
We both agreed to meet.

Just like you were so eager to give him that ring?

Chile please hahaha. I'm not eager to do anything lmbo. This portrait was negative to begin with...long before anyone decided to paint on it. You go to dinner with someone's husband and think it doesn't matter who asked who? Especially since you want to know if he's crying over you or not?

I don't know you, him or the wife so I'm not eager to do anything. However, you brought this whole story on here and then pick and choose which comments to address.

Bye Picasso!

 

[tru4reele]

So basically there is a pattern of married exes not choosing you but reaching out to reminisce, string you along or talk about their own marriage good or bad etc.? Or a pattern of you staying in contact with married men one way or another.

Hmmm... This reminds me of the single women on FB who make posts about married men blowing up their inbox. My question is always, why do they feel comfortable enough to even come at you like that? One could only come to one conclusion but I won't go there.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

I guess I will never know why he cried.

Which is okay, if you think about it. There's a woman he loved so much that he walked down an aisle and tethered his life to hers. Her constant presence in his life will help him handle the reason for his tears, whatever the reason.

There's this lovely passage: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing." He's got good in his life and God will be with them and their union to help him be okay! It's okay if we never know the reason for his tears when we know he has so much reason for joy in his life. "This too shall pass," then he'll carry on with his good life. So no worries, OP. I'm glad you had concern for him but hope you know he's in a good position being with a wife he loves!

 

[Phoenix11]

Just like you were so eager to give him that ring?

Chile please hahaha. I'm not eager to do anything lmbo. This portrait was negative to begin with...long before anyone decided to paint on it. You go to dinner with someone's husband and think it doesn't matter who asked who? Especially since you want to know if he's crying over you or not?

I don't know you, him or the wife so I'm not eager to do anything. However, you brought this whole story on here and then pick and choose which comments to address.

Yes I was eager to return the ring...and your point would what?

I can not believe how so many have their panties all up in a bunch over dinner. Really?
It's no wonder some husbands refer to their wives as the "old ball and chain".

 

[Phoenix11]

So basically there is a pattern of married exes not choosing you but reaching out to reminisce, string you along or talk about their own marriage good or bad etc.? Or a pattern of you staying in contact with married men one way or another.

Again with the under handed digs. How can you be so sure they did not choose me to marry. Maybe they asked and said no. Marriage is not the end game for everyone. Not here to discuss my entire dating history in explicit detail.

 

[lesedi]

A lot of us aren't even married, we just know right from wrong. I see you are going with the 'Dontcha wish your wife was fun like me?' narrative. Good luck with that.

 

[BrownSkinPoppin]

Yes I was eager to return the ring...and your point would what?

I can not believe how so many have their panties all up in a bunch over dinner. Really?
It's no wonder some husbands refer to their wives as the "old ball and chain".

This whole turn of events is just interesting. And I'm not familiar with that phrase. *off to google*

ETA: and there was no point. I just wanted to be witty I just googled the phrase. Do you hope to be married one day? Actually..nevermind..cuz I don't even want to go back and forth with you anymore. Carry on with your shenanigans since you're so comfortable with it.