He Cried Like A Baby...help Me Understand

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Meh I leave up to the man to invite his wife/SO and if he's in town on business and she's not there, I won't turn down dinner to catch up or whatever. If I don't hear from him that's cool too LOL! As far as guarding what they have and all that, I know my intentions and I am not interested in any of these people and never have been so I don't go to all those lengths to confirm his wife's whereabouts.

 

[JFemme]

Where is the OP

Is she new here

 

[Cheekychica]

Thank you soooo much, beautiful!

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

I am on my phone so I am finding it difficult to quote everyone that has responded, but just to generally answer everyone responses to my opinion.

I feel like it's being taken in the wrong context.
I have met all my friends wives, attended weddings - we are friends so of course I have! When I see them we all have a great time.
We are just not friends so I don't miss their company - that's just my opinion and it's not something I share with my friends because as you ladies have proven it gets taken in the wrong way.
I don't think it should be for me to make sure they are comfortable it should be for the husband. I am sure my friends know that their wives come first. If my friends partners felt uncomfortable and I was made aware of this of course I would stop contact. The wife is offering way more than I could which is why I am the friend.

I don't believe i have said in my previous posts that i would insist that I have to be apart of their lives or they make time for me at all. it's always been a mutual thing just like it is for my unmarried and single friends.
Female friends it's exactly the same thing, why would it be different?
It's not about clinging to the past and talking about the good old days..its about catching up, having a laugh, advice just what any other friendship is about.

So, your post is what brought me out of lurk mode, yes, because you asked a question so in answering I and other posters started invoking the frustration from all the other pages of this thread. all of that was not directed at you. I mean, "I said what I said" but I dont want you to feel like any vitriol or frustration was aimed at you such that you have to clarify yourself. There's like 9 pages of f***s*** that I think we were addressing even though your post was quoted

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

I love it! love it love it!!!!

Just had to quote. I could thank you 1000 times.

We're here --> <---

 

[ladysaraii]

Answer: Jodecei taught kneegrow to cry for the puss, that is why.

.

Just dress me in my Easter suit and stick me in the ground. I'm dead.

 

[Topsido]

Wow, at all these diatribe.

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

One time I went out platonically with an ex who was married (albeit separated and in different states from the wife). We ended up fluckin for 2 months straight. It was amazing and sort of like a high. Like being known without the burden of expectation. And we didn't even want each other-so it was powerful even without the desire to actually be with each other.

So I can see why people would be hesitant in this sort of scenario

 

[caribeandiva]

One time I went out platonically with an ex who was married (albeit separated and in different states from the wife). We ended up fluckin for 2 months straight. It was amazing and sort of like a high. Like being known without the burden of expectation. And we didn't even want each other-so it was powerful even without the desire to actually be with each other.

So I can see why people would be hesitant in this sort of scenario

 

[Naveah2050]

Total ETA:
It wouldn't have been callous to have sold it. It was yours. He didn't care for it nor what you did with it. OP, I do have a well-thought question for you. Have you ever been married? I can say for myself and 99% of married women and those unmarried who are marriage-minded and possibly, even not, that I would NEVER allow/accept my husband to go have dinner and drinks with a woman who is not his sister, first cousin to discuss a funeral or hospice about an aunt/uncle/grandparent, business dinner with a client (and I'd need family hours, names, locations, credit card info). So, that leads me to think she just didn't know you both went out. Dangerous terrain. I feel very sorry for the wife, not for you nor for him but I am very happy that he ran from you. This is not to be mean. I hope you never do this again. You are courting with fire.

This is doing too much ma'am - I hope I am missreading this... why do you need credit card info? What happened to trusting your husband?!

Meh I leave up to the man to invite his wife/SO and if he's in town on business and she's not there, I won't turn down dinner to catch up or whatever. If I don't hear from him that's cool too LOL! As far as guarding what they have and all that, I know my intentions and I am not interested in any of these people and never have been so I don't go to all those lengths to confirm his wife's whereabouts.

Right... if your hubby ain't thinking about inviting you why should I? Especially if I do not know you.

Can I ask you a question? If you had a female friend from college you were really close with and time, work, life.... kept you guys apart and you found yourself in her city again, wouldn't you want to meet her husband? I think this willful ignorance of the wives' existence is a bit odd. Pretending it's just paranoid wives guarding their men is a bit obtuse.

If I'm catching up with an old friend, I'd like to see what their new life is like, I wanna meet the spouse, the new rugrats if any, the whole new family. Not just you and I meeting up to reminisce about old times while I refuse to acknowledge any change and growth in your life.

Note, I am unmarried.

Nope - I do not. I ain't interested in meeting your husband or your kids. I want to see you, so we can catch up and laugh about old times. I don't want to waste my time and money making awkward conversation with your husband, especially if he ain't paying neither. Nope.....

 

[SpiritJunkie]

my goodness...the OP tried it with the wrong and very wise women....lmao...

 

[shespoison]

Men suck. Woman will be blamed for men's suckery. But men truly suck.

 

[Nichex]

So, your post is what brought me out of lurk mode, yes, because you asked a question so in answering I and other posters started invoking the frustration from all the other pages of this thread. all of that was not directed at you. I mean, "I said what I said" but I dont want you to feel like any vitriol or frustration was aimed at you such that you have to clarify yourself. There's like 9 pages of f***s*** that I think we were addressing even though your post was quoted

Fair enough, maybe this is what a few others have done.

 

[futurelonglocks]

See I'm that wife that would make an ID story out of both parties. An exgirlfriend meeting my husband for dinner, breakfast, lunch, snacks or whatever is getting a bat to the head- her and my husband.

 

[GulfCoastChica]

See I'm that wife that would make an ID story out of both parties. An exgirlfriend meeting my husband for dinner, breakfast, lunch, snacks or whatever is getting a bat to the head- her and my husband.

I was about to post something similar. She better hope she doesn't go out with a husband who has a wife that is about that life.

 

[Zaz]

Nope - I do not. I ain't interested in meeting your husband or your kids. I want to see you, so we can catch up and laugh about old times. I don't want to waste my time and money making awkward conversation with your husband, especially if he ain't paying neither. Nope.....

Then I'd say that's the difference between catching up and reminiscing. You're not catching up, that would mean meeting the people who matter to your friend now, you're stuck in a time loop. You're what I'd call a friend with a disclaimer, someone you describe as "my friend from high school, college, camp..." not someone I consider to be just my friend.

My old roommate came back in town after having a baby, I don't even like kids like that but I knew catching up with her would mean meeting the baby. I couldn't tell her, you better find somewhere to put that baby cuz I'm not trying to meet it It would've hurt her feelings and as her friend, I wouldn't want to do that, it never even crossed my mind actually

 

[Naveah2050]

Then I'd say that's the difference between catching up and reminiscing. You're not catching up, that would mean meeting the people who matter to your friend now, you're stuck in a time loop. You're what I'd call a friend with a disclaimer, someone you describe as "my friend from high school, college, camp..." not someone I consider to be just my friend.

My old roommate came back in town after having a baby, I don't even like kids like that but I knew catching up with her would mean meeting the baby. I couldn't tell her, you better find somewhere to put that baby cuz I'm not trying to meet it It would've hurt her feelings and as her friend, I wouldn't want to do that, it never even crossed my mind actually

.....Your original question said a friend from college who you haven't seen in a while not a BFF whose life you want to know everything about. Bringing a baby that can't fend for itself without a mother along on the reunion is vastly different from bringing your husband along on a dinner date with a girlfriend. Maybe the second time we meet but the first time, unless your hubby is coming along to treat, that's annoying AF... I would rather not waste my time or calories making polite conversation with your husband.