He Cried Like A Baby...help Me Understand

Phoenix11 said:
Wow ladies.
Why can't old friends get together platonically. Not all people are capable of that, but I am.

Trust me, I'm not chasing any married man. If he did or did not tell his wife about our meeting, that is between them.

As far as me being "extra". I did not want the ring in my possession any longer. It no longer had any meaning to me. Pawning it is callous. The right thing to do is what I did and give it back to the person it belongs to.
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You already got it all figured it, so why act like you genuinely wanted some advice them?

Fraternizing with married men is not popular around these parts.
 
nlamr2013 said:
er. He said he didn't want it back, he gave it to me and it was mine to keep. I insisted he take it back. That'swhen he started to walk/run away from me so he wouldn't have to accept it. When I caught up to

Girl you chased him. It also seems like from your tone and the thread your ego was boosted from this meeting? Like where you're like if he's so happy blah blah he only loved me and the wife blah blah etc girl don't eveah be flattered by the musing of a married man
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Nope. You got it wrong.
Again if someone just finished telling you how happy they are, then why the tears. I was blindsided and confused by his reaction.
 
I wouldn't meet a married man for a platonic dinner without his wife present. I think that's not kindness to the wife, no matter what the intentions or feelings or non-feelings or whatever. Because it's not something I'd want done to me, I wouldn't do it to another woman.

If I just HAD to try to return that ring after a decade and half, I would have mailed it in an envelope addressed to both of them with a very short note: "Hi, Janice and Jim! I was spring cleaning and found this from high school. The things young high schoolers exchange! My high school ring brings me fond memories, and I wondered if you might smile at seeing yours again! God bless!"

But I seriously doubt I would have done that. I probably would have just looked at the ring, smiled, and kept it moving.

That's all I got.
 
Phoenix11 said:
I have no idea if she knew.
It was not my responsibility to inform her.
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Uh oh! I think it was.

Man: "Let's meet up for dinner. It's been a while."

Old female friend: "Awesome! It'd be the PERFECT time to meet your lovely wife! When can we all get together? I can introduce you to my _____ (mom, friend, neighbor, boyfriend, sister, etc.) . Looking forward to this!"
 
lana said:
Pure speculation, but maybe the spin off thread will be...Wife of the man I used to date snatched out my weave in line yesterday.

Imaginary thread post:
She was screaming obscenities, and I don't even know why. Just because I posted on social media about going to dinner with her husband and him crying like a baby after he told me he loved me and her...you know, his wife.

Why me? Why am I the victim? Can y'all believe this happened to me? She gave me the beat down in line and nobody helped me. I have an imprint of his highschool class ring on my face permanently because his wife wore it like a brass knuckle.

She was obviously jealous of my beauty and prowess. Don't nobody want ole boy anyway, so why was she so violent? So unnecessary.

I hate drama. I'm pressing charges. Watch! Just watch.

Oh, gotta run ladies, he's calling me min my cell phone bling to apologize for her behavior.
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I love you!!!!! This made my day!!!! :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::funny::goodpost::goodone::iloveyou::urock::thankyou:
 
Phoenix11 said:
If it was something brought and meant for me wear I probably would have kept it. It was his men's size bulky class ring. I could not wear it. I kept it in a jewelry box for years. I felt like its caretaker.

Didn't want to be responsible for it anymore.
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Op no judgement here, but this post sounds emotional.
It sounds as though there are emotionl ties and that you are in denial or are not aware of them yet. If you guys are/were just friends then keeping the ring shouldn't be an issue. It has sentimental value. Completely understandable. But instead of just tossing it you made a moment out of it with your friend.

It also sounds like you are seeking validation. You wanted to know for sure that he's crying because he still has a thing for you. An ego boost.

If you don't want the ring, then go ahead an pawn it. You should also let your friend go about his way happily married or not.
 

YvetteWithJoy said:
Uh oh! I think it was.

Man: "Let's meet up for dinner. It's been a while."

Old female friend: "Awesome! It'd be the PERFECT time to meet your lovely wife! When can we all get together? I can introduce you to my _____ (mom, friend, neighbor, boyfriend, sister, etc.) . Looking forward to this!"
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But . . . you'd have to have a certain type of care for all people involved to be in this frame of mind. Your initial thoughts aren't of the nature "I'll participate but this ain't nan none of my responsibility, huh." Your thoughts are about looking out for people and unions and families in general, because you just operate in the world as someone who does good by folks just because. It's a different way of operating.

Annnnnddddd . . . I'm not judging the OPer. I'm just explaining a different mentality about how we take care of each other and love on each other. Doesn't take a WHOLE lot of effort, just caring.
 
lesedi said:
Of course he is the one with the responsibility to consult with his wife, but the attitude of OP says a lot.
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Lol I think the tone comes from op being fed up that no one is saying what she wants to hear that dude was crying because he's sorry he let her go or something.
There is no reason why we could know why he was crying. Like none. But like I said (and op denies) this meeting stroked her ego.

Op how did the relationship end? Because he moved?
 
**SaSSy** said:
You already got it all figured it, so why act like you genuinely wanted some advice them?

Fraternizing with married men is not popular around these parts.
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It is just frustrating that the responses can not stay on topic.
So much is being made out of the fact he is married. Maybe if I left that part out of my post we could stay on track. This is no way a married man/cheating post but that is the direction it is going.

It seems like the mere mention of a married man brings out the lynch mob. Sad.
 
YvetteWithJoy said:
Uh oh! I think it was.

Man: "Let's meet up for dinner. It's been a while."

Old female friend: "Awesome! It'd be the PERFECT time to meet your lovely wife! When can we all get together? I can introduce you to my _____ (mom, friend, neighbor, boyfriend, sister, etc.) . Looking forward to this!"
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I have used that exact same phrase when asked by a married man to "just" have a drink/meet for lunch or dinner, etc. Basically, no problem, just let me know when you, me and your wife can meet up, that would be great. It's not my responsibility to tell her but I am responsible for respecting their marriage/union by acknowledging it and discouraging any possible temptations, even if we're just two old friends meeting up. The fact that you still had his ring and thought enough of it to bring it combined with him telling you were one of two true loves and he got sentimental over the ring only further confirms why that dinner between one single ex and one married ex was a bad idea from the go.
 
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i may have missed this but how many years did you keep this ring OP?...meaning after you two broke it off? It seems like it's been a while. Not trying to downplay a class ring, but if my ex got married and we have been broken up for a while, i don't even think i would care about something like that. And once he told me to get rid of it i would have instantly.
 
Phoenix11 said:
Recently I met up with an ex from high school. We got together over dinner and drinks just to catch up. He is now married and living the dream. He spent most of the night telling me how happy he was, the new house they bought, showing her name that he had tat on his arm. Great.

At some point in the conversation he said he had only loved two women in his life. Me and his wife. Okay. Cool. As the evening ending I pulled out his class ring he had given me when we were in high school. I said this belongs to you and I am returning it to its owner. He said he didn't want it back, he gave it to me and it was mine to keep. I insisted he take it back. That's when he started to walk/run away from me so he wouldn't have to accept it. When I caught up to him, I told him the reason he give me the ring no longer existed and I am returning it to it's owner. Reluctantly he took it and then began to cry uncontrollably like a baby.

If life is so good, why the waterworks? There is nothing between us. We both have moved on. I don't get it.
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POSSIBLE ANSWERS

You said you don't get it. Maybe you don't get it because he was crying about something private. We can't know.

So I'll make something up that could explain it:

Possible situation #1:
His wife has a terminal illness. He's very happy with her. But her pending death has him very emotional. He wanted to make sure that he saw the other person he once loved when he was a teen, because he realizes life is short and he just hasn't seen you in decades. He's simply wondering how you are.

He sees you. You are not dying. His wife is. He wants you to keep the ring to keep the old memories in tact. You try to force the ring on him. This taints the simple, good memory he had of his teen courtship. He thinks about how that memory couldn't even stay in tact. He thinks about how soon he'll only be having memories of his wife.

He cries uncontrollably.

Possible situation #2:
Similar story as above, but he lost his child or fetus.

Possible situation #3:
Similar story as above, but he just lost his mother or father.

Possible situation #4:
Similar story as above, but he just lost a close high school buddy.

I shared my previous statements because I don't think women are considerate enough of married women sometimes, but they might not be aware of the fact. I am fully aware of how the man SHOULD be the responsible one. That doesn't mean I won't be going all out for my fellow sisters. They can trust me FULLY. I'm on all our sides.
 
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Phoenix11 said:
It is just frustrating that the responses can not stay on topic.
So much is being made out of the fact he is married. Maybe if I left that part out of my post we could stay on track. This is no way a married man/cheating post but that is the direction it is going.

It seems like the mere mention of a married man brings out the lynch mob. Sad.
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I think the ladies here are just putting themselves in the wife's shoes. I'm not married and even I put myself in her shoes, yikes. I would feel bad.
I don't agree that it was your responsibility to tell the wife though- unless you know her? Do you know her? The husband was being highly irresponsible too.
But I still want to know how this meet up was planned and what was the purpose of it :look:
 
Honestly op, there is not enough information for anyone to know why this man cried. We do not know the history nor intensity of yalls past relationship.

If the ring was that important to him, I think he would have asked for it before now and you could have mailed it to him.

Did you seek some type of closure? Or would you like to think you are the one that got away and he isn't really happy?

I would just let it go. I don't think your intentions were to start an affair or ruin his marriage but you may have watered a seed of doubt within him that was otherwise buried.
 
Zuleika said:
Perhaps you could ask his wife?
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raw


Please leave this family be, OP.
 
I don't know OP but it seems like the both of you are still holding on to feelings for each other. The fact that you held on to the ring for this long says a lot. I understand that you did not wish to pawn it but I am sure if you really wanted to you could have found a way for the ring to make it back to him without it having to be through dinner. To me what really speaks volumes its the fact that you felt the need to give it back after he was done gushing about his wife and new life with her...... Regardless of how happy he painted his life at home to be why press him to take back a ring from how ever long ago to bring back old memories that you two shared?
 
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