My ex husband had a baby.....

[Princess4real]

I'm not sure if you are collecting alimony but the fact that he f'd up the marriage could have landed you more money during the divorce. He played you girl. That baby is his, and you should just let the past be the past. Don't go back cause if he couldn't be honest than and made you go through some crap, then he can't be trusted. You got lucky cause you don't have his kids.

Let's see he does not value marriage; 1. he cheated during, 2. he used divorce as an option to escape.

Count your stars and move on, you can definitely do so much better!!!

Yes, Yes and Yes! Real talk

 

[Princess4real]

Yep, yep!!! Shame shall return and he shall cheat on her as well. Such a vicious cycle.

The stupid cluck-cluck called our LHCF girl, with the your husband got me pregnant. We have got to do better. Desperate *** broads!

 

[prettypuff1]

I pm'd you

 

[phynestone]

This is a blessing in disguise...it could have been worse.

I believe he divorced you so the army wouldn't punish him. Don't they have punishment for soldiers who commit adultery?

At least you can make a clean break and you are at a different base. I assume in a different state as well? This is exactly what you need. God has protected you from a bigger blow. He will get what's coming to him. At this point, you need to pray for yourself and ask God how he would like for you to handle this situation.

 

[deltagyrl]

Girrrrrrl, be thankful there were no kids. Clean break.

Move on w/ your life and allow someone else to really love you.

 

[Princess4real]

This is a blessing in disguise...it could have been worse.

I believe he divorced you so the army wouldn't punish him. Don't they have punishment for soldiers who commit adultery?

At least you can make a clean break and you are at a different base. I assume in a different state as well? This is exactly what you need. God has protected you from a bigger blow. He will get what's coming to him. At this point, you need to pray for yourself and ask God how he would like for you to handle this situation.

Not if his Commander likes him. They look out for each other and if they don't like you, they will use that against the service member. People cheat in the military all day everyday. Remember President Clinton?

 

[JLove74]

Not if his Commander likes him. They look out for each other and if they don't like you, they will use that against the service member. People cheat in the military all day everyday. Remember President Clinton?

it's not up to the Commander, that decision lies with the JAG officers. President Clintonerplexed He wasn't in the military

 

[kellylinn77]

This is a blessing in disguise...it could have been worse.

I believe he divorced you so the army wouldn't punish him. Don't they have punishment for soldiers who commit adultery?

At least you can make a clean break and you are at a different base. I assume in a different state as well? This is exactly what you need. God has protected you from a bigger blow. He will get what's coming to him. At this point, you need to pray for yourself and ask God how he would like for you to handle this situation.

They are being investigated as we speak. His dumb a@# was in some pics holding the baby and she put the pics on myspace. I sent the pics and the text messages she sent me to somone who out ranks his commander to ensure they both pay. They will be able to prove that the baby was coceived while we were married.

 

[JLove74]

They are being investigated as we speak. His dumb a@# was in some pics holding the baby and she put the pics on myspace. I sent the pics and the text messages she sent me to somone who out ranks his commander to ensure they both pay. They will be able to prove that the baby was coceived while we were married.

I thought he was out of the military? If so, not much can be done. But remember, you lied too, right?erplexed

 

[kellylinn77]

he won't be out until the end of the month

 

[Princess4real]

it's not up to the Commander, that decision lies with the JAG officers. President Clintonerplexed He wasn't in the military

The U.S. Army is good about covering up soldiers porking other married soldiers if they like the person. As far as, Clinton being the Commander-in-Chief, I would have thought he would have had more control over himself since he is supposed to be a man of integrity with high moral and values. Soldiers are supposed to respect President and he gave them the get your freak on card, IMO My point was, people cheat in the military and even though their not supposed to do it, they do and a lot of them get away with it.

When a wife find out her spouse is cheating, the first thing they do is run to the Commander. If the Commander likes the soldier, they will do whatever they can to protect the soldier. Unfortunatley, I've had the pleasure of being living the army life for about 20 years, but I don't claim to speak for every branch.

 

[20Pearls_Girl]

With time your heart will heal but getting back with him on any level would be dishonoring yourself. You have to love YOURSELF more than you love him.

He put your life at risk by having unprotected sex outside of the marriage. He lied to you and betrayed you. Please do not considered getting back with him on any level.

 

[Princess4real]

They are being investigated as we speak. His dumb a@# was in some pics holding the baby and she put the pics on myspace. I sent the pics and the text messages she sent me to somone who out ranks his commander to ensure they both pay. They will be able to prove that the baby was coceived while we were married.

This is good! Try to save their myspace pictures on your computer and any dumb *** comments they made for some more evidence.

 

[JLove74]

They are being investigated as we speak. His dumb a@# was in some pics holding the baby and she put the pics on myspace. I sent the pics and the text messages she sent me to somone who out ranks his commander to ensure they both pay. They will be able to prove that the baby was coceived while we were married.

@ bolded, why not just let it go...
and since you mentioned you lied to give him the divorce, you're still active duty and telling it to the internet world - remember, what's good for the goose, is good for the gander

 

[kellylinn77]

Me lying about our seperation dates so we would not have to wait 6 months to get a divorce is no comparison to my husband conceiving a baby while we're married!

 

[carcajada]

Sorry this happened to you.

Despite the confessions on here of being the other woman, I'll never understand females who want men like this after what they've done. And of course the whole baby thing rubs me the wrong way.

 

[firecracker]

Me lying about our seperation dates so we would not have to wait 6 months to get a divorce is no comparison to my husband conceiving a baby while we're married!

Ok whateva but please erase this **** so it won't be used against you puleeeeeese pretty lady!

 

[rdm]

With time your heart will heal but getting back with him on any level would be dishonoring yourself. You have to love YOURSELF more than you love him.

He put your life at risk by having unprotected sex outside of the marriage. He lied to you and betrayed you. Please do not considered getting back with him on any level.

I was thinking the same thing. He put your life at risk. You might want to be tested for HIV. Scary thought. It is better to know than to not know.

 

[MissScarlett]

The U.S. Army is good about covering up soldiers porking other married soldiers if they like the person. As far as, Clinton being the Commander-in-Chief, I would have thought he would have had more control over himself since he is supposed to be a man of integrity with high moral and values. Soldiers are supposed to respect President and he gave them the get your freak on card, IMO My point was, people cheat in the military and even though their not supposed to do it, they do and a lot of them get away with it.

When a wife find out her spouse is cheating, the first thing they do is run to the Commander. If the Commander likes the soldier, they will do whatever they can to protect the soldier. Unfortunatley, I've had the pleasure of being living the army life for about 20 years, but I don't claim to speak for every branch.

Yep, so true. I figured this out after listening to my mom and other military wives talking in hushed voices. If they like him, its a no-go. Very rarely do you see soldiers being put out for adultery.

OP- (((HUGS)))) You know what, this is a blessing in disguise. A girl I went to HS with, her first hubby was a soldier, dogged her out, cheated with another soldier, they could NEVER get pregnant, tried for years....God was just giving her a blessing b/c when she divorced that fool and married someone else, she was pregnant like in a matter of MONTHS. You are being dealt such a favor, I know its hard to see it now.

But thank God for this experience to make you stronger and wiser. I'm so sorry, I know it hurts I've been married nine years, I know its like you 'just met this man'. WOW, the level of betrayl.....I just say move on, try to forgive him for not being the person you wanted him to be and let it go.

I just wish you had of stayed a couple of more years and got 1/2 of this fools retirement

 

[Princess4real]

Yep, so true. I figured this out after listening to my mom and other military wives talking in hushed voices. If they like him, its a no-go. Very rarely do you see soldiers being put out for adultery.

OP- (((HUGS)))) You know what, this is a blessing in disguise. A girl I went to HS with, her first hubby was a soldier, dogged her out, cheated with another soldier, they could NEVER get pregnant, tried for years....God was just giving her a blessing b/c when she divorced that fool and married someone else, she was pregnant like in a matter of MONTHS. You are being dealt such a favor, I know its hard to see it now.

But thank God for this experience to make you stronger and wiser. I'm so sorry, I know it hurts I've been married nine years, I know its like you 'just met this man'. WOW, the level of betrayl.....I just say move on, try to forgive him for not being the person you wanted him to be and let it go.

I just wish you had of stayed a couple of more years and got 1/2 of this fools retirement

A General was allowed to retire even though he was in the paper for adultery. He was separated and had a chick on the side. He was still allowed to keep all his benefits. A lot of wives, especially the younger one's don't even know anything about JAG, but they do have that Commander's name on speed dial.

 

[TCatt86]

You can name a baby anything you want too. A name does not establish paternity.

No a name doesn't establish paternity. But in order for a child to have the father's last name he has to sign the birth certificate. If the mother is unmarried the child will naturally take on the mother's birth certificate. Once the father signs the birth certificate the mother can go to the state and have the last name changed. On my original birth certificate the doctor scratched out my mom's last name and put my dad's. Your ex husband signed the birth certificate, that doesn't establish paternity but he still signed it.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Just stay strong.

 

[gone_fishing]

Re: My husband had a baby.....

With somone else. He was deployed to Iraq and 9 months later this girl contacted me and said she had his baby. The baby has his first and last name. He said he doesn't know if its his or not. Still waiting on the paternity test results. Can a woman give a baby a man's last name if he hasn't signed the birth certificate? He said he didn't sign it. I am so sick right now and I don't know what to do. I love my ex husband and can't imagine life without him. The bad part about it, we didn't have any kids. We tried to get pregnant when he came home on his 2 week leave (was tracking my ovulataion, the perfect time) Obviously we weren't successful. When he came back for good, the whole baby making process stopped. Should've known something then. He told me that he was getting out of the Army and thought we should wait until he had a job. Then he started talking about getting a divorce because he didn't want to be a burden on me because i'm still in the army. He siad once he got back on his feet we would be together. So like a dumby I lied on the seperation paperwork and gave him a divorce. Mind you we were still living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed. I just relocated to a new duty station (this is when the girl contacted me). My Ex husband is living back at home with his parents. So many signs....I guess love is really blind

Finding out after the fact has to hurt. Man, I cannot even imagine the pain you must feel. But, one think you must not to is ask if things would have been different if, A, B or C because you are not the problem. He is. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but this could truly be a blessing that this finally came out in the open and that you there are no children involved. It may truly be a blessing that you didn't get pregnant when you were trying to.

 

[SoUKnoMe]

OP sorry that you are in such pain. I understand the feelings of loss... one of love and then seeing someone have a child that you wanted so badly.

I can only say that over time if you allow it, your heart will began to heal. Keep looking forward and not back and your joy and peace will return and greater blessings as well.

(((Hugs)))

 

[Pheonixx]

1.
I am so sorry to hear of all that....and that little wench called you to give you the 'good news'?
But... just leave it alone KELLYLIN...I'm serious.
I can't believe your ex-husband would do that to you. Talk about a mind job...
Don't give this damned man or that ridiculous hag another minute of your energy. I know it hurts. I know you're feeling deceived but don't do it. 'Eye Wide Shut'...we've all been there.
But--be strong.
You will get over this hump.
Busy yourself with a hobby or other projects. Don't sit at home dwelling on this ish.

But girl--it could have been worse. She could have come to your house and that would have been disastrous.

Girl--my homegirl's husband's babymama rode up their house talking about she 'd been sleeping with him for months and was pregnant.

And...that **** got snatched up! I mean--snatched right out of the doorway because my homegirl does not play (did I mention she was pregnant too?).

...the hell wrong with these h**s?
Similar to the hag in your situation.
Like, what the hell is she--a dayum SIDE piece--bragging and gloating about? Like there's some glory in sharing a man. Maybe to her it is. Because she doesn't seem to have anything else to offer a man....besides her uterus!
(4 kids and how many babydaddies?)


Ugh--Situations like these just makes my nerves bad...and it ain't even me!


2.
Also, as far as Adultery in the Armed Forces, as with anything else...it depends largely on the Commander and their opinions or relationship with the individual whose receiving the paperwork.
doesn't matter the charges. They can 'recommend' whatever they wish as punishment or dismiss the entire thing.

Truth is...it's just like anything else. There are ppl who will hem you up behind adulterous behavior and others who won't. (i'm prior service Air Force though).

 

[deltagyrl]

No a name doesn't establish paternity. But in order for a child to have the father's last name he has to sign the birth certificate. If the mother is unmarried the child will naturally take on the mother's birth certificate. Once the father signs the birth certificate the mother can go to the state and have the last name changed. On my original birth certificate the doctor scratched out my mom's last name and put my dad's. Your ex husband signed the birth certificate, that doesn't establish paternity but he still signed it.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Just stay strong.

I don't think that's true. I've worked w/ countless moms who gave birth while "dad" was locked up or just not around and they all have "dads" last name. *shrugs*

You can name your child whatever but you can't put his name on the birth certificate without his signature.

 

[MrsQueeny]

Re: My husband had a baby.....

With somone else. He was deployed to Iraq and 9 months later this girl contacted me and said she had his baby. The baby has his first and last name. He said he doesn't know if its his or not. Still waiting on the paternity test results. Can a woman give a baby a man's last name if he hasn't signed the birth certificate? He said he didn't sign it. I am so sick right now and I don't know what to do. I love my ex husband and can't imagine life without him. The bad part about it, we didn't have any kids. We tried to get pregnant when he came home on his 2 week leave (was tracking my ovulataion, the perfect time) Obviously we weren't successful. When he came back for good, the whole baby making process stopped. Should've known something then. He told me that he was getting out of the Army and thought we should wait until he had a job. Then he started talking about getting a divorce because he didn't want to be a burden on me because i'm still in the army. He siad once he got back on his feet we would be together. So like a dumby I lied on the seperation paperwork and gave him a divorce. Mind you we were still living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed. I just relocated to a new duty station (this is when the girl contacted me). My Ex husband is living back at home with his parents. So many signs....I guess love is really blind

Hugs to you. As to the bolded, please stop feeling that way. When you put so much into a person like that, you leave room for them to treat you like crap. If you've said this to us, I am pretty sure you showed it to him and he knew this. That is partly why he did what he did. But like the others said, this is a blessing in disguise. You are living your life without him and even though it hurts now, you will be better off. Keep your head up. Q

 

[1QTPie]

Thanks for all the responses ladies, I just really need some strength right now. I'm all f@#ked up over this.

Have your moment (however long it takes) but please move on. You deserves sooo much better. So much. He doesn't deserve you or any woman for that fact. Think of all the reasons you got divorced and keep it moving.

Your life is BETTER without it, stop imagining him in it. That's the first step.

 

[january noir]

Have your moment (however long it takes) but please move on. You deserves sooo much better. So much. He doesn't deserve you or any woman for that fact. Think of all the reasons you got divorced and keep it moving.

Your life is BETTER without it, stop imagining him in it. That's the first step.

Great advice especially the bolded!

 

[ibelieve]

I don't think that's true. I've worked w/ countless moms who gave birth while "dad" was locked up or just not around and they all have "dads" last name. *shrugs*

You can name your child whatever but you can't put his name on the birth certificate without his signature.

You are correct. The father DOES NOT have to sign anything to have the child take on his last name. A child can be named whatever you would like and take on any surname chosen by the mother.

However you CAN NOT list an individual on the birth certificate without their signature.

 

[HisBestFriend]

I don't think that's true. I've worked w/ countless moms who gave birth while "dad" was locked up or just not around and they all have "dads" last name. *shrugs*

You can name your child whatever but you can't put his name on the birth certificate without his signature.

This really depends on the state. In Texas the child will take the unmarried mother's name if the father is not present to sign the Birth Certificate.