Ediese
Well-Known Member
Sorry, it's so long. I was debating on whether or not to post. Feel free to skim through it.
I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it. I know that it needed to be done. I'm a little sad, and it's a little hard to stop thinking about some of the rare 'good' times, but I also feel content with my decision. I know that doesn't make any sense.
It's kinda hard to gather my thoughts.
My SO and I dated for 8 mos., and I was POSITIVE that he was the one. It was so crazy how we met. It was on my bday last year, I was driving on my way to pick up a To Go order, and he saw me from the freeway and kept trying to get my attention. I kept my head straight, and totally ignored him. lol It's kinda funny that we ended up going to the same restaurant. I thought it was faith. It didn't hurt either when he said at that moment he felt that God sent him his wife. Anyway, I kept accepting a lot of crap because I WANTED him to be the one. I feel like I really sacrificed who I was, and lost myself for a while while I was with him. If you guys ever met me, you'd know that I always have a smile on my face or just always laughing. I noticed that while I was in this relationship I was crying more than smiling. He wasn't a cheater, physically abusive or any of that kind of stuff. We just had a lot of differing opinions on a lot of things, and instead of realizing that and agreeing to respect the other's opinion..our 'discussions' would always end in major arguments. It was emotionally draining. He also had this mentality that everything was all about him...very arrogant and selfish person. He played in the NFL, and was use to women falling all over him and giving him whatever. That was a constant battle. It was very hard dealing with that.
Anyway, I really tried my hardest to make things work. I think this relationship made me change significantly. I've learned a WHOLE lot about myself. It's funny because I'm usually the one that's ready to move on if I see things getting too difficult. I decided with him that I would stick it out, and stop running. I became the one in the relationship always trying to compromise. I dont' know how many times I've said, "Okay babe..I understand why you feel this way about that. I'll try my best to improve on xyz". When he critiqued me, he expected me to change. When the critique was reverse, he said that I was always negative, nagging, and complaining.
lol ok
I had decided to write him a letter ending things on Thursday just so I could collect my thoughts, and let him know that I was truly done. I've said it before, but we always got back together. On Friday, he asked for us to go to dinner. So, I decided that according to how things went I would A. give him the letter and let that be it or B. wait things out. I only decided to make B. an option because he told me a couple days prior that no matter what, he didn't want to lose me.
This was the last straw though! When I got to the restaurant, he was at the bar chatting it up with this white chick. I walked up and sat next to him, and then we started talking and stuff. Everytime there was a lull in conversation, he would start back talking to this girl. Both bartenders were looking at them talking and looking at me with a perplexed look on their face, so I know I wasn't tripping. I looked at him, and said..."what are you doing"? He said, "what do you mean"? I'm looking at him kinda crazy at this point, and asked him if he didn't think what he was doing was disrespectful. I explained if the situation was reverse how would he feel. He said he understood then. At this point, I'm irritated and I hear Chrisette Michele's "Ephipany" playing in my head (read a post about it last week and have been listening to it ever since). I asked the waitress to split the check (y'all I've never paid for a meal EVER w/this guy, so he knew something was up). After I did that, he got upset and started talking to the chick again to spite me.
I paid for my half, got up and told him, "I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm DONE". I said all of that with a big smile ya'll. I walked out the restaurant with a pep in my step, and that old smile on my face. I'm content.
I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it. I know that it needed to be done. I'm a little sad, and it's a little hard to stop thinking about some of the rare 'good' times, but I also feel content with my decision. I know that doesn't make any sense.
It's kinda hard to gather my thoughts.My SO and I dated for 8 mos., and I was POSITIVE that he was the one. It was so crazy how we met. It was on my bday last year, I was driving on my way to pick up a To Go order, and he saw me from the freeway and kept trying to get my attention. I kept my head straight, and totally ignored him. lol It's kinda funny that we ended up going to the same restaurant. I thought it was faith.
It didn't hurt either when he said at that moment he felt that God sent him his wife. Anyway, I kept accepting a lot of crap because I WANTED him to be the one. I feel like I really sacrificed who I was, and lost myself for a while while I was with him. If you guys ever met me, you'd know that I always have a smile on my face or just always laughing. I noticed that while I was in this relationship I was crying more than smiling. He wasn't a cheater, physically abusive or any of that kind of stuff. We just had a lot of differing opinions on a lot of things, and instead of realizing that and agreeing to respect the other's opinion..our 'discussions' would always end in major arguments. It was emotionally draining. He also had this mentality that everything was all about him...very arrogant and selfish person. He played in the NFL, and was use to women falling all over him and giving him whatever. That was a constant battle. It was very hard dealing with that.Anyway, I really tried my hardest to make things work. I think this relationship made me change significantly. I've learned a WHOLE lot about myself. It's funny because I'm usually the one that's ready to move on if I see things getting too difficult. I decided with him that I would stick it out, and stop running. I became the one in the relationship always trying to compromise. I dont' know how many times I've said, "Okay babe..I understand why you feel this way about that. I'll try my best to improve on xyz". When he critiqued me, he expected me to change. When the critique was reverse, he said that I was always negative, nagging, and complaining.
lol okI had decided to write him a letter ending things on Thursday just so I could collect my thoughts, and let him know that I was truly done. I've said it before, but we always got back together. On Friday, he asked for us to go to dinner. So, I decided that according to how things went I would A. give him the letter and let that be it or B. wait things out. I only decided to make B. an option because he told me a couple days prior that no matter what, he didn't want to lose me.
This was the last straw though! When I got to the restaurant, he was at the bar chatting it up with this white chick. I walked up and sat next to him, and then we started talking and stuff. Everytime there was a lull in conversation, he would start back talking to this girl. Both bartenders were looking at them talking and looking at me with a perplexed look on their face, so I know I wasn't tripping. I looked at him, and said..."what are you doing"? He said, "what do you mean"? I'm looking at him kinda crazy at this point, and asked him if he didn't think what he was doing was disrespectful. I explained if the situation was reverse how would he feel. He said he understood then. At this point, I'm irritated and I hear Chrisette Michele's "Ephipany" playing in my head (read a post about it last week and have been listening to it ever since). I asked the waitress to split the check (y'all I've never paid for a meal EVER w/this guy, so he knew something was up). After I did that, he got upset and started talking to the chick again to spite me.
I paid for my half, got up and told him, "I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm DONE". I said all of that with a big smile ya'll. I walked out the restaurant with a pep in my step, and that old smile on my face. I'm content.
You deserve better... and don't even THINK about giving him any more chances... 
But if she actually sticks by what she said, that might be a new one for him!! 
It is new for him. lol He hasn't been in a 'relationship' prior to me in about 10 years. He's dated and done whatever, but it's never been serious. He's said that and I've also heard it from his family and friends. They were surprised when he first brought me home to the country. They were even more surprise that 7+ mos later when we went back to his home town that I was still in tow. 
