Do you think black men as a group are as loyal to black women as we are to them?

[TrueBeliever]

ditto i cant relate either---ive never ever considered clr ppl untouchable..in any instances...

ppl who think that way r ...that inferiority complex is a joke..keep believing that hype...

cant even believe in this day and age that ppl feel inferior to clr ppl or that their untouchable...lmaoo..untouchable to who....lol

I fail to see how anything I have written implies an inferiority complex. No wonder you can't relate. You don't quite understand where I'm coming from.

 

[lux10023]

seems like you took my post personally....my pov may not be in align with yours---we can agree to disagree---nothing i say on lhcf should be taken personally....since we dont know each other

with regard to the taysha thread and taysha topic---
yes still my fav thread--since i was directly-apart of the taysha gate...

@perfect28: Sigh. I don't think that acknowledging reality means having an inferiority complex. We all have different understandings of what constitutes an inferiority complex though. For instance, I would say that making up obviously false stories about how one hangs out with a "black female billionaire" all in order to make oneself appear to be part of the "in" crowd is a sign of an inferiority complex. You wouldn't know anything about that though, right?

 

[Syrah]

You make some good points, I definitely get where you're coming from.

It's all just so frustrating. It's like which came first, the chicken or the egg? I agree about the community being broken and hell if I know how we even begin to address EVERYTHING that's wrong, because both sides have certainly contributed to the mess.

How do we as women get to a place where we're willing to put a little bit of faith into our men? Not begrudging faith, but honest, true faith?

I think it starts with us. I'm just curious as to how we get to a point where we're willing to try...

 

[snillohsss]

@perfect28: Sigh. I don't think that acknowledging reality means having an inferiority complex. We all have different understandings of what constitutes an inferiority complex though. For instance, I would say that making up obviously false stories about how one hangs out with a "black female billionaire" all in order to make oneself appear to be part of the "in" crowd is a sign of an inferiority complex. You wouldn't know anything about that though, right?

Please...for the love of green bottoms, stop derailing this thread!

 

[snillohsss]

How do we as women get to a place where we're willing to put a little bit of faith into our men? Not begrudging faith, but honest, true faith?

I think it starts with us. I'm just curious as to how we get to a point where we're willing to try...

More BW need to allow themselves to have more positive relationships with BM. It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship either.

 

[TrueToHair]

How do we as women get to a place where we're willing to put a little bit of faith into our men? Not begrudging faith, but honest, true faith?

I think it starts with us. I'm just curious as to how we get to a point where we're willing to try...

Not going to happen because it's easier to talk about how we are not appreciated by our own race of men (and let's not start with threads about other races of men). Black men aren't loyal to us, black men don't appreciate us, and we are the unloved demographic on the face of the earth.

Which is why no one gave a real response to SND411 question of what are WE going to do about it.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Why are we trying to fix this? I mean ... we didn't break it (lol) I don't believe it all starts with us. I don't remember Eve coming before Adam. Aren't they the head of household? Men should take charge. But they don't have a problem with a growing number of non-black households headed by black men. We're the ones that are making an issue of it. Just saying.

 

[TrueBeliever]

seems like you took my post personally....my pov may not be in align with yours---we can agree to disagree---nothing i say on lhcf should be taken personally....since we dont know each other

If it was not meant personally and I took it that way, that's on me.
However, I am the one who used the terminology 'untouchable'.

So, my question was how can one come to the conclusion that anyone (not me, personally) who refers to the protection white women get as having an inferiority complex?

If you have no answer, then it's probably best to agree to disagree. I figure my points here are misunderstood anyway.

 

[mischka]

More BW need to allow themselves to have more positive relationships with BM. It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship either.

Why? Why is this something black women need to do, and what benefits can be gained from it or what purpose does it serve? jw.

 

[lushcoils]

Why? Why is this something black women need to do, and what benefits can be gained from it or what purpose does it serve? jw.

Right, as a whole we are already loyal to BM.
What are we supposed to do? We can't force them to be loyal to us. And they won't take responsibility for anything.
So at this rate, I say it's a lost cause.
Just move on, and focus on the men that are loyal to you..bm and/or non-bm.

 

[lux10023]

Sistah…listen..i just wanna get my 6.fiddy on…i wanna post my comments—and chime in here and there…I wanna get my lil beauty tips…and skin tips va-jay-jay tips..and hair info—and get my lhcf on without getting toooooo deep…I don’t come to lhcf to get deep...i post my lil opinion and keep it pushin—you don’t know me..i don’t know u—and there maybe a time where you may not agree with something I post—my posting style is not everyones cup of tea-so be it lol—just pass on by it…

So how about you get ya $6. fiddy on..and I get my $6.fiddy on..and we leave it at that….everyone’s happy…

If it was not meant personally and I took it that way, that's on me.
However, I am the one who used the terminology 'untouchable'.

So, my question was how can one come to the conclusion that anyone (not me, personally) who refers to the protection white women get as having an inferiority complex?

If you have no answer, then it's probably best to agree to disagree. I figure my points here are misunderstood anyway.

 

[snillohsss]

Why are we trying to fix this? I mean ... we didn't break it (lol) I don't believe it all starts with us. I don't remember Eve coming before Adam. Aren't they the head of household? Men should take charge. But they don't have a problem with a growing number of non-black households headed by black men. We're the ones that are making an issue of it. Just saying.

..and here begins the finger pointing. This happens every single time.

 

[snillohsss]

Why? Why is this something black women need to do, and what benefits can be gained from it or what purpose does it serve? jw.

I started to write out a long answer, but I honestly don't think we could have a discussion on this regarding JUST black women. Your mind is already made up regarding BM, so the only thing that would happen would be a lot of finger pointing.

 

[mischka]

Right, as a whole we are already loyal to BM.
What are we supposed to do? We can't force them to be loyal to us. And they won't take responsibility for anything.
So at this rate, I say it's a lost cause.
Just move on, and focus on the men that are loyal to you..bm and/or non-bm.

right? i find the idea that black women should continually cater to black men and dutifully perform the acts of an APPRECIATED woman when that appreciation isn't there ridiculous.

the majority of black women in my opinion subscribe to this 'black kangs' nonsense, this 'cater to my man' foolishness, this 'putting up with the man out of house' philosophy and the 'no other man is better than a black man' idea and what have we gotten in return for it so far?

in my opinion - single parenthood.

 

[snillohsss]

Not going to happen because it's easier to talk about how we are not appreciated by our own race of men (and let's not start with threads about other races of men). Black men aren't loyal to us, black men don't appreciate us, and we are the unloved demographic on the face of the earth.

Which is why no one gave a real response to @SND411 question of what are WE going to do about it.

Black women never want to talk about black women, they just want to point the finger at men because it is easier to do.

 

[mischka]

I started to write out a long answer, but I honestly don't think we could have a discussion on this regarding JUST black women. Your mind is already made up regarding BM, so the only thing that would happen would be a lot of finger pointing.

my mind is not already made up, and i don't require a long or philosophical explanation - just a statement of fact or 'doing this will result in this'. i am genuinely curious why you think that is an action that needs to be undertaken, and what can be gained from it. not offering any kind of response at all is kind of a cop out, imo. i don't even know what you mean when you say 'regarding just black women.' i have been having a hard time following some of your posts in here - you seem to be posting with a strong opinion behind your thought process that is coloring your thoughts, but you are not actually verbalizing what that opinion is. i'm trying to understand where you are coming from.

 

[manter26]

This has now become OT to the thread....but I have to say it again... I'm kinda mad this thread was moved to the relationship forum. I don't believe marrying outside of your race is mutually exclusive to being loyal to your race. I see nothing wrong with IR relationships. Some people have a preference, that's fine; excluding certain groups for whatever reason is a grey area regarding "right and wrong" IMO.

As a woman of Jamaican descent, if I'm in a relationship with man from TnT with an Indian background, does that make me not loyal to black people? Absolutely not. I may have more in common with the Trini than any African American who happens to be my same skin color.

I see loyalty as being supportive of the community, dispelling myths about the group, etc... but my opinion puts me in the minority. I also agree with the poster that said men in general are more loyal to their gender. Maybe the issue really is, why aren't BW as loyal to BW as they should be... While all these women are running to defend the Chris Browns, why aren't more of them defending the Rihanna's and Robin Givens?..

 

[MzLady78]

This board confuses me.

One day, we worship the Black kangs and the next day we don't have enough faith in them or worship them enough.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

..and here begins the finger pointing. This happens every single time.

Finger pointing? So when you say that it does start with us, that's not pointing the finger at black women? I'm just saying. I think more than anything, we always blame the woman for a man not doing what he should. It doesn't matter the topic.

 

[snillohsss]

my mind is not already made up, and i don't require a long or philosophical explanation - just a statement of fact or 'doing this will result in this'. i am genuinely curious why you think that is an action that needs to be undertaken, and what can be gained from it. not offering any kind of response at all is kind of a cop out, imo. i don't even know what you mean when you say 'regarding just black women.' i have been having a hard time following some of your posts in here - you seem to be posting with a strong opinion behind your thought process that is coloring your thoughts, but you are not actually verbalizing what that opinion is. i'm trying to understand where you are coming from.

In a nutshell, the ENTIRE black community is broken. If we are going to talk about fixing this issue (which is the response I gave that you quoted), black women need to work on themselves. In order to fix others, you must first fix yourself.

If that is hard to follow, and/or understand that I give up.

 

[SND411]

It's difficult to have a balanced conversation since we are all women here

 

[mischka]

In a nutshell, the ENTIRE black community is broken. If we are going to talk about fixing this issue (which is the response I gave that you quoted), black women need to work on themselves. In order to fix others, you must first fix yourself.

If that is hard to follow, and/or understand that I give up.

ah. i see. lol.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I told myself I wouldn't get started in this age-old discussion (i.e. argument) Let me get out of here ...

 

[snillohsss]

Finger pointing? So when you say that it does start with us, that's not pointing the finger at black women? I'm just saying. I think more than anything, we always blame the woman for a man not doing what he should. It doesn't matter the topic.

I think I need to just copy and paste the things I write.


In a nutshell, the ENTIRE black community is broken. If we are going to talk about fixing this issue, black women need to work on themselves. In order to fix others, you must first fix yourself.

adding to the above copy and paste--

As a whole, black women need some fixing up just as much as black men do. That is FACT. How can we talk about what black men need to do as a WHOLE, when as a WHOLE black women are just as messed up.

Speaking for myself, I blame both men AND women. However, when talking about solutions, I can't speak for men because I am not one. I can however talk about where women are dropping the ball, and what we can do to help change it.

 

[snillohsss]

ah. i see. lol.

 

[snillohsss]

It's difficult to have a balanced conversation since we are all women here

Exactly! We can only speak for women. However some women in here want to speak for men.

I wonder if that adds to the whole perception of "black women want to be men" thought pattern?

 

[mischka]

the feeling is mutual tbqh

or more like

As a whole, black women need some fixing up just as much as black men do. That is FACT. How can we talk about what black men need to do as a WHOLE, when as a WHOLE black women are just as messed up.

speak for yourself. i'm 24. i have no out of wedlock children. i have an advanced degree from a prestigious university. i support myself. i am fit and healthy. i am emotionally well adjusted. i don't need any 'fixing up.'

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

In a nutshell, the ENTIRE black community is broken. If we are going to talk about fixing this issue, black women need to work on themselves. In order to fix others, you must first fix yourself.

What's with the sarcasm? Anywho, I agree the black community is broken. But I don't agree that women should fix the problem (lack of loyalty, IR relationships, single parenthood, etc.) for men or by themselves. I can do what I need to do but that isn't going to change the actions of someone else. Besides, you should fix yourself (or black women in this case) for our own good not to manipulate others into doing what we want.

 

[Katherina]

I wrote out a long response but I deleted it. I'll just say to snilloh and Syrah, thank you for articulating what I'm thinking. I'm a single woman but I know where you're coming from, I understand what you're trying to say, and I agree with you.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

speak for yourself. i'm 24. i have no out of wedlock children. i have an advanced degree from a prestigious university. i support myself. i am fit and healthy. i am emotionally well adjusted. i don't need any 'fixing up.'

Girl, please. You know you one of those black women who ALWAYS throwing their degrees up in a black man's face. Miss Independent, "I don't need no man!" You think you too good, don't you? I bet you like white men too.