Do you think black men as a group are as loyal to black women as we are to them?
- Thread starter LoveisYou
- Start date
This is my favorite .gif of all time!
OP, you don't think this thread will cause division? It's sorta like dudes in high school telling you, they will only put the head in and expecting you to belive them.
that's an interesting analogy, but no I don't think the topic has to be divisive if we discuss it objectively.@rejuvenation--That's actually partially true. In sheer numbers, white men have married more Asian women than Black men who've married White women, but that's because there are A LOT more white men than black men. Percentage wise, white men still marry interracially less than black men. 1% of married white men are married interracially compared to 6% of black men.
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Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
I dunno why that popped into my head. My mind is dirty tonight, LOL!
HoneyCurlz
New Member
For some reason, this is surprising to me. Do you know if the percentage is much higher for black men or more close to about equal for black men and white men?
Ashleescheveux
Well-Known Member
Coons, no. Soul brothas, yes.
TrueToHair
Well-Known Member
...........................................
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snillohsss
New Member
I'm talking about marriage too. Check out the census site. Out of married white men 1% of them are married to other races, out of married black men--6% of them are married to other races.
ETA: Here is a CNN article on interracial marriages http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/06/04/pew.interracial.marriage/index.html
And here is the study of newlyweds the article is referencing. http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1616/american-marriage-interracial-interethnic
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Kiowa
Well-Known Member
What race was he? There's a work brothas I've talked with recently that want nothing to do with black women, He said doesn't want to deal with the drama etc..the other day at lunch, he couldn't keep his eyes off this one sista..his face visible contorted when he saw the body language between her and her white date
. Some of this 'single out', is based on people's filters,stereotype or the one bad experience..
I think the notion that black women are more loyal than black men is one that some people seem to accept without question. Generally speaking, some people seem to assume that black women are more loyal in terms of dating, marrying, protecting (etc.) black men. I have also heard the argument that black leaders tend to pay more attention to issues involving black men than black women instead of giving equal attention to both. I also think some people think that black women are much more likely to look past the short-comings of black men while black men are less forgiving of the shortcomings (real or perceived) of black women.
I have mixed feelings about this, both groups are marginalized by race and gender. Yes I do think black men also experience the double jeopardy phenomenon as their race combined with their gender places them in a precarious position (police brutality, DWB etc.) I also believe that the black "community" formed protective mechanisms to deal with subjugation. I don't know how clear this is across gender lines though....nevertheless, it's interesting to think about.
I have mixed feelings about this, both groups are marginalized by race and gender. Yes I do think black men also experience the double jeopardy phenomenon as their race combined with their gender places them in a precarious position (police brutality, DWB etc.) I also believe that the black "community" formed protective mechanisms to deal with subjugation. I don't know how clear this is across gender lines though....nevertheless, it's interesting to think about.
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In terms of marrying, dating, supporting their cause, defending them when other groups try to bash them (basically not throwing them to the dogs) etc.
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MizAvalon
Well-Known Member
snillohsss
New Member
@snillohI kinda see this, but what are the certain types in your opinion? Just curious.
Also, I believe in the converse. Certain types of black men are loyal to black women (also known as the "soul brothas"
@nagawa The types that walk the "tightrope" of have their stuff together while not entangled in the feminist movement. Its a fine line, and many black women are on either side of the rope. Not to many walk right in the middle. (waits for the defensive posts from other posters based on assumptions )
edited to add -- I think there are 3 types of black men.
The Coons -they will throw us under the bus at any given time.
The Soulbrothers - They generally try to support all black women.
The Uptight Brotha - This is the black man who thinks he is better than most, and is usually threatened by black women who are seemingly in the same position financially as he is...but will back down for certain types of black women. The above definition is in regards to the Uptight Brotha. The Uptight Brother will usually marry an "otheren" , but will settle down with the "right" (his definition of right) black women.
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snilloh: I know quite a few of these and black men haven't been any more loyal to them than they have been to others who don't walk the tightrope. I have found that men who aren't taught to treat women well and to be loyal to their women just don't have it in them regardless of who they are dealing with.
snillohsss
New Member
I agree with you to a certain extent, but I will add that usually women that WE think fit this definition do not fit this definition as defined by men. Why do I think this? Because women tend to act differently around men, than they do around women. So while we think they have their ish together, they are an entirely different story when they are one on one with men.
Menina Preta
Well-Known Member
Black men are not loyal at all to Black women. Not at all. It doesn't bother me much any more, b/c I choose not to see any of the trifling ones. I also refuse to stand up and start defending them unless they have truly been wronged, b/c I hardly ever see them rallying for Black women with the rabid doggedness that we sometimes do for them.
snilloh: Your argument is circular. It basically goes: The right kind of black woman is shown loyalty by black men. Thus, when a black woman is not shown loyalty by black men, it is because she is not the right kind of black woman. All of this relies on the idea that the right kind of black woman is shown loyalty by black men, which is something you have not proven or offered any evidence at all to support and have just blanketly stated. If it's just your opinion, that's fine, but as an argument, it is fallacious.
I might actually believe that black men were loyal to black women if I focused on the media. After all, stereotypes of the superficial black woman abandoning the good black man to chase thugs abound in the media. If I paid those stereotypes attention, I might actually believe that there was some vast pool of good, loyal black men supporting the black community and just waiting for their day in the sun, with the occasional disloyal negro being an isolated incident. Sadly, the media cannot cause me to deny my real life experiences, all of which tell me that black men as a group tend to be a terribly disloyal bunch. I am fortunate to have met good black men, but I am not under any misguided impression that what women are describing in this thread isn't the case.
I know some black men don't think black women are loyal to them at all. That we always say black men ain't ish. "They triflin, irresponsible, arrested development good-for-nothings." Just like the guy who told the poster in another thread "you woulda talked to me if I was white." That black women would date out more if, well, to put it bluntly, if they could.
So I guess the question presumes something that not everyone accepts, namely that black women are loyal to black men in the first place.
So I guess the question presumes something that not everyone accepts, namely that black women are loyal to black men in the first place.
I think men, in general, are loyal to the types of women they want. And men, in general, seem to want similar things (variations do exist across cultures, but the basic premise is the same). How many of us are/or are willing to become "that"? Should we even want to/have to try?
I dunno - I feel like a lot of these dating/men conversations are dancing around an issue that no one wants to talk about...
@Smiley82: Go verbally abuse a white woman, or stand up to her even when you're clearly in the right, or criticize any white female icon and see how things go for you if you are in a predominantly white male atmosphere (or in a context controlled by white men, even if they are not the majority). There's a reason black women have found that white women are virtually untouchable in the work place and it's not because white women are themselves that powerful.
TrueToHair
Well-Known Member
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