No. If you mean loyal in the sense that black women are the first/preferred choice then no. I'm noticing the under 30 crowd are increasingly showing preference for non-black women. Those black men that still do date black women don't do so exclusively which lowers the chance they commit to a black woman.
Tbh, I know some black men who want nothing more than a black woman and have no interest in being with an 'other' in a similar serious way. It's a rarer occurrence than you would think, which is disappointing. But those men hurt, because they're cognizant of the growing tensions between bm and bw right now and they're getting lumped in with all the losers when they are trying to be down for the cause or whatever. I had a conversation with a male friend about how he was tired of the black men bashing because it didn't apply to him and he wanted nothing more than to be with a bw. They are out there which, if I had not encountered some personally, I would probably believe they are very few and far in between.
By contrast, the black men I know who primarily date white women are extremely whitewashed. I don't know whether they're doing it to fit in, or if it's a chicken or the egg type situation - do you date white women because you are whitewashed, or do you whitewash in order to date white women - but they generally claim that black women aren't interested in them bc bw want 'thugs.'
My general feeling about men and their racial preferences is that men in general are less discriminating and if a woman looks good/has what they want, only professed racists would deny themselves the opportunity. Most would make an 'exception' if they have a noted preference and the woman is outside that preference, which don't get me wrong, is insulting in its own way.
However, when it comes to black men I do think there's the unfortunate added element of trying to date 'up' by throwing black women under the bus. But, I certainly won't even attempt to deny that a sizeable chunk of black women have that same philosophy so that's a wash.
The problem, for me, in black men not having any loyalty to black women is not really related to who people choose to date or marry, but the fact that most other ethnicities of men do not stand idly by while their racial counterparts are getting put through the wringer, and I do believe black men largely are guilty of this. It's disgusting to me that black men have not only stepped aside and relinquished their traditional roles as provider and protector of the species, but have the tendency to get defensive and indignant about it, as if it's not their doing or they've done nothing wrong. That's unforgivable, for me. Not hanging around trying to fix the mess they helped to create and championing 'other' women to boot is only insult to injury.
I feel as if black men have no obligation to black women the way other men feel obligated to their racial counterparts. Not only that, it seems as if black men actively and loudly want to make sure you understand they have/feel no obligation to us. I don't feel a general sense of brotherhood/sisterhood when it comes to black men, which you would assume would be the case, and I think it's because there has been a large portion of black men who deliberately want to sever those ties and distance themselves from us. Probably to make sure other women know they are 'available' and, to the black woman's detriment, that's usually not the case with us.
That's the main reason why I don't check for black men anymore, but there is also that, in my opinion, black men are more oppressively patriarchal than other races of men. Some people may complain that white men are weak or neutered because they tend to be more comfortable with strong, powerful, difficult, or demanding women whereas in the black community, a 'strong' woman is an affront to his manhood. Being an 'independent woman' has garnered a nasty connotation to the point where being 'difficult' has become a racial/racist stigma - black b8tch, black diva, gold digger, brash, manly, un-feminine, whatever. The fact that I no longer have any active interest in seeking out black men means I don't have to play that game. I don't have to defend my accolades, I don't have to diminish my successes, and I don't have to exaggerate and point them out either. Nothing is wrong with submitting to your partner, and I plan to be, in fact, a slightly submissive and ego-stroking wife just in the interests of pleasantry if that's what my husband wants, but I think black men demand submissiveness to an offensive degree borne of their own insecurities. No ma'am, I'm not dealing with that bullsh8t. I'm not babying you because you don't feel like a man, it's not my fault you don't feel like a man, and I don't want you if you are so insecure you don't feel like a man.
I dunno - I feel like a lot of these dating/men conversations are dancing around an issue that no oe wants to talk about...
What do you mean by this? It seems as if you're hinting about something that is obvious or that we're all aware of and pretending is not the case but nothing is coming to mind with this statement.
Also, what's an ABW?
) so the feeling is pretty mutual.
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but sayings like the above or the "there is nothing better than black love" always leave me feeling quite puzzled
. I know we're not talking about people from other backgrounds but how is a strong, united, beautiful black family any better than a strong, united family of any background?
erplexed
...that inferiority complex is a joke..keep believing that hype...
