Do Flirty/Naturally Flirtatious Women Finish First?

[knt1229]

@knt1229

How do you suggest people go about assessing whether someone is right for them? I clearly need practice.

First you have to know what you want in relationship. Knowing yourself and knowing what you want will make figuring out if the person is right for you easier.

 

[Ganjababy]

Not necessarily.

 

[girlonfire]

Well, this example is more to do with males and females rather than men and women if you catch my drift.

In highschool there was this guy that all the girls thought was super cute, and he was, but he was also very short which has nothing to do with anything...
Anyway he dated a lot of upper classmen, I'm pretty sure no girl he dated was in our grade. Take me seriously when i say that every single girl was the same: blonde, bubbly busty and flirtacious, it was like a formula, without fail, everytime you hear that "jimjim and felicity16 broke up" soon enough less than 2 weeks later he was on felicity17!

He is actually now married to felicity18, at age 18.

 

[Solila]

I'm not sure. I'm bubbly, bold, and shy all at the same time. Lol I'm not flirty or at least I'm not trying to be at first. I am nice girl but a "ballzy" nice girl. Lol So I can't say all nice girls finish last. I've had no issues attracting men I wanted thus far and I've approached and been approached by men. Many are very shy or intimidated so just because they dont approach doesn't mean they are not interested. From my experience, men that I've approached actually love when you go after them. They pursue you even more, which works for me cause I get bored quick. Lol I do think it does come down to your personality though and how you carry yourself. Show them your colors....always. Show them exactly the type of woman you are from the very beginning- no beating around the damn bush.

 

[coolsista-paris]

I agree with this. The more flirtier/outgoing types get the guys, while the nice girl/introverts get left behind. Flirty does not equal easy, btw.

i second this. flirty does not mean easy . at all!

you can be flirty,very confident and not care (thats me).
i personally had the guys i wanted....i have another friend like that (she is too much though lol) but i her i feel that deep down she is not confident and always ends up with really stupid men. its sad but it is.

i have another great friend (bestie), almost very shy and she is soooooo pretty , but has difficulty in getting men.
her sister is flirty and attracts a lot!

i think dépending on how each person is, they must adapt their situation and places to attract men.

ps: im with my dear hubby since 9 years... we met at my flirty years.. he liked that in me. (and i was care less those years)...

 

[SheenaVee]

Men seem to interpret any form of conversation as flirting, in my opinion. Especially if they like you. They basically just see what they want to see.

I smile a lot, in general, and have realised that men view that as flirting. There's been many times when I think I'm just 'cool' with a guy, just friendly, while they're actually thinking I'm flirting with them.

For example, in my previous job, at our Christmas party this guy who I thought I was just cool with tried to kiss me. I told him I had a boyfriend and pushed him away. Later on in the night he said to me, 'Sheena, if you have a boyfriend why are you always flirting with me?' I was like, um, what? When was that happening?

And now I think it's happening again at my new job. I keep getting these 'looks' from this guy who I thought I was just cool with. Or maybe I'm a flirt but doing it unconsciously? Idk. But to answer the question, I think being flirty does attract guys, but as I said, if a guy finds you even a little attractive anything you do becomes flirty to them.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Men seem to interpret any form of conversation as flirting, in my opinion. Especially if they like you. They basically just see what they want to see.

I smile a lot, in general, and have realised that men view that as flirting. There's been many times when I think I'm just 'cool' with a guy, just friendly, while they're actually thinking I'm flirting with them.

For example, in my previous job, at our Christmas party this guy who I thought I was just cool with tried to kiss me. I told him I had a boyfriend and pushed him away. Later on in the night he said to me, 'Sheena, if you have a boyfriend why are you always flirting with me?' I was like, um, what? When was that happening?

And now I think it's happening again at my new job. I keep getting these 'looks' from this guy who I thought I was just cool with. Or maybe I'm a flirt but doing it unconsciously? Idk. But to answer the question, I think being flirty does attract guys, but as I said, if a guy finds you even a little attractive anything you do becomes flirty to them.

@Sheena284

You know what, I think you're right! I've always been really surprised when a guy friend had feelings for me because I never thought I was being anything but friendly and MYSELF!

But yet, it seems that when you're going OVERboard to try to get a guy's attention or get them to notice/like you, sometimes it backfires and the guy acts like he's oblivious lol.

That's why I think that if a guy is REALLY into you already to begin with, you don't have to "do" anything or go TOO much out of your way to get his attention, because ANYTHING you do will be considered a "green light" for him to come up to you, ask you out, etc lol.

Hmmm......I may make a spin-off thread regarding this very subject....:scratchch

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

You really should get that book I mentioned upthread. It doesn't have a catchy, sexy title, BUT, in my opinion, books like get the guy and others will get you on a date. The one I suggested will help you deepen your interactions on those dates to actually get close to someone (IMO) because there aren't tricks and games and smoke screens.

I actually read 'get the guy' and don't remember anything from it, really. Perhaps because I'm already doing what's suggested, or because some of the advice doesn't apply. I don't remember. Not saying it is a bad book. But it definitely takes the catchy, funny, makes you laugh and scream omg! approach. The other is much more thoughtful. There's a page about "matched opposites" that will really make you think. And the other on various levels of intimacy. Really good stuff. (And notice that I'm remembering all this without having had a copy of the book in 3 years. It's that thought-provoking. At least to me).

CarLiTa What's the name of the book again????

How to make someone fall in love with you in 90 seconds (or mins??) or less

CarLiTa

Ohhhhh okay!!! Is it THIS book??

Hey @CarLiTa , I just had to come in here and thank you for recommending this book! I just downloaded it last week and I admit, it is VERY interesting!!! GREAT recommendation!! I LOVE anything having to do with socialization and the Psychology of people.

You're right, so far this book is definitely VERY different from Matthew Hussey's book, and it seems more geared towards being GENUINE (unlike MOST relationship books out here lol ), and really finding the person that naturally compliments YOU the best, and vice versa. Almost as in "opposites attract", but not quite lol. I never realized it before, but this book is right. The people I was most attracted to in the past were those who I had things in common with, but who were also different from me in some sort of way...or they brought something (ie. a quality, personality trait, communication skills, etc) to the table that I was lacking, and I brought something that they were lacking. I think the best long-lasting relationships stem from that....oh and of course genuine friendship.

I can't wait to continue reading!