@
LiftedUp
@
keyawarren
Thank you ladies for your positive encouraging posts. I really needed that yesterday.
Reading the responses on here is helping me to put a lot of things into perspective. Thanks ladies!
I know you didn't ask,
but did your friend know about your crush?If so, her job was to get you noticed since she knows you are more reserved than her
In answer to your question, yea my friend knew about my crush.
erplexed In fact, SHE was the one who initially said months ago that she thought that he liked ME.
See....a group of us all go out to a lounge once a month, and some friends bring other friends, and so that's how we all met him and other new people to hang with (through friends of friends). Well, for months (well...once a month) when we would see each other at the lounge, he would be chatting me up, asking me a whole bunch of questions, seeming interested, etc. So, it just totally caught me a little off guard when he started showing interest in my friend!
NOW I see that I was probably just a "door opener" to get to my friend...who he REALLY liked.
He was probably just trying to charm me so that he could get closer to HER. It all makes sense now...
erplexed But it doesn't make me feel any better.
Like I said, it wasn't like I was crushing on him hard or anything (in fact, it's kind of died now lol), but he was just a guy I was keeping in the back of my mind as a "potential".
But my friend has TONS of guys chasing after her... and I think I'm just feeling kind of miffed more so because I get the feeling that this will be a regular occurrence (her getting all the guy attention) if we continue to hang out together all the time.
erplexed
Don't get me wrong, I can SEE why the guys go ga-ga over her.... She's tall, slender, gorgeous, blonde
, and in addition she's REALLY really sweet (honestly, I love her to death), engaging, outgoing, always smiling, and flirty. So I TOTALLY get why she captivates a lot of men when she walks into a room. But at the same time, I feel like there's gotta be a guy for me too lol!
I think that they get to choose the guys they want vs waiting to be chosen then sifting out of that pool.
YUP!!!! I think so too!
I finally realized that this year, and that's why I've been trying to be a little more "proactive" this year with showing guys that I'M interested in more interest, because otherwise I'll keep ending up w/guys I'm NOT interested in making a move on me lol.
Plus, I'm living in a new state now, so I almost HAVE to be more sociable now since I don't have the same social group/friends that I had back home. You kind of have to put yourself out there more when you move.
I agree with the poster who said real friends help get you noticed. Growing up my best friend was very outgoing and loved getting attention from men.
She was always dressed to 'get numbers' and have any man who looked at her eye contact and a smile. I, on the other hand, thought I was above this and generally didn't relish in make attention the way she did.
Over time, she got more and more confident and I actually started to think something was wrong with me. EVERYTIME I went anywhere with her, she was grinning and cooing before the dudes ever got to us....and they always chose her.
What I learned was that if guys liked me they were afraid to speak up because I looked so mean all the time. They would ask her about me (if she was dating a friend or something) and he would always 'forget' to tell me.
Then once we went out and I was dressed in something tight, which garnered me a lot of attention and she was very uncomfortable with that.
I learned too soon that I was the 'shy one' so she could shine compared to me. She did not want to see me shine.
And I was so awkward because I got used to being overlooked, despite the fact that I was an attractive young woman who should have been coming into my own.
Don't over think what is happening. She may get quantity, but you can get quality. Don't be afraid to smile, speak up, hold conversations.
My friend was bubbly, but if a guy spent a few minutes talking to me he never forgot me and I always made an impression.
Don't let it shake you. Nothing's wrong with you. Just be yourself and be friendly.
Thanks so much @
SelahOco for sharing your experience!
I've been wondering if this (in bolded) is sort of what is going on in the case of my friend/roommate as well.
But I definitely believe that although she may get more QUANTITY, she doesn't really get as much QUALITY because she will like a guy for a hot second, and then find something wrong with him the next. Some of them are legitimate reasons too! But it's like every 3 weeks she's dating or talking to someone new....
Personally for me, I don't need 50 million guys interested in me
, all I want is that
ONE guy who I'm interested in to be interested in me and make a move.
Being flirtatious is good for life.
I believe this.