Cheating Husbands / Boyfriends

[breezy]

Ok, initially I was embarrassed to post this but then I thought, whatever, keep it real.

My husband cheated on me...before we were married. I was seventeen and pregnant, confused about life in general. He was nineteen, about to be a dad with no idea how he was going to support this new, unplanned family. I'll admit, we were at a bad point then. We weren't living in the same home or anything. I found out that he slept with someone else, I was devastated, I'm not gonna lie.

When it happened I ended it right then and there, pregnant, damn near homeless, broke and all. I thought I would never forgive him. We didn't speak until about two weeks before I delivered. We talked about all the issues and how we would make life work for our child whether we were together or not. And over the next couple of months I realized that this was a good man who had made a mistake. There was no excuse for it, but it was a mistake nonetheless and he's human.

A few months later we got married. He has been a wonderful husband, father, partner and friend. It pains him to know that he cheated on me, and I think it's part of the reason why he's so devoted to our family now. He knows what he almost lost and would never want to jeopordize that again.

 

[jasmin]

Mizani_Mrs, I'm really happy for you that you have a such a great marriage and a faithful husband. That man that he was talking about makes me sick! I'm so disappointed by how standards for marriage have gone down to the point that people would boast about cheating. Is it really that deep? I truly admire people who stay with their partners or spouses, but as someone so eloquently stated it, since God permits divorce in the case of cheating in a marriage it is a pass card I will use. Honestly, I might consider working it out in a marriage, but since I'm nowhere near that allow me to focus on dating.

If my boyfriend cheated on me, he's out! But to be quite frank with you, there are some factors that would prevent me from adhering to that stance:

1. Crack: If I was as high as Whitney, then I probably would stay. That's the only way my judgement could be impaired in such a way.

2. If he's the only source of food in the entire world: I would stay. I really like to eat, and if there was no other way in the world for me to do so, I would stay with him...and then knock him out and roast him over a fire!!:angeldevi

This is why I no longer go to weddings. I think it's all bull. Sorry.

 

[Vixen17]

Yes I have stayed BUT NEVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN will I do it again. The first time he's disrespectful Im out because it will only get worse. The only reason I stayed is because I thought I was in love but in retrospect it wasn't really love and the relationship was not healthy. I was just stupid and only saw him like I wanted him to be instead of the reality.

So true! I"m going through it now!!!

 

[Zakina]

so why do men cheat?
is it truly just sexual?
what is the main cause?
as discussed in another thread, i think that if the husband would have his way in all respects, meaning a cute little wife that stays at hope just waiting for him to come home from work always taking care of him/providing him with whatever etc, he probably would not cheat?
he wants somebody that looks up to him, gives him everything he needs, listens to him, always looks her best for him etc.
Now i would be all that for my husband, but would that be enough? or are they all just dogs and if another girl approaches they wont think twice?

 

[breezy]

so why do men cheat?
is it truly just sexual?
what is the main cause?
as discussed in another thread, i think that if the husband would have his way in all respects, meaning a cute little wife that stays at hope just waiting for him to come home from work always taking care of him/providing him with whatever etc, he probably would not cheat?
he wants somebody that looks up to him, gives him everything he needs, listens to him, always looks her best for him etc.
Now i would be all that for my husband, but would that be enough? or are they all just dogs and if another girl approaches they wont think twice?

There's no one reason men cheat. They're just like women, maybe they feel unappreciated at home, maybe they were just very sexually attracted to someone of the opposite sex and weren't thinking of their family, maybe they aren't getting sex at home, maybe they were raised in a home where this happened and they think it's okay, or maybe they really are just dogs. It could be any of these reasons and it would vary on the man and his marriage. Many times, I don't think cheating is a reflection on the wife at all, the man just caught the roving eye and thought he could sneak and get some on the side, and hey, his wife would never find out anyway so who's it hurting?

I think that they see this much more differently than women. B/C for many of us, we think that for us to cheat we would have to be in love with the other man or something, but for many men it's muchmore simple...they saw a fresh piece of ass, thought they wouldn't get caught, and ran after it... JMO

 

[donna894]

I personally could not live with a cheating husband. I would be wondering what else is he lying about. And I am not about to risk my health. You can be "satisfied" with one partner if you are willing to work at keeping your relationship fresh, trying new things, not allowing yourselves to get stuck in a rot, etc. Keeping a relationship fresh and exciting takes effort and can be done. One thing I truly hate about cheating is the double standard: very few men will put up with cheating wives.

 

[locabouthair]

so why do men cheat?
is it truly just sexual?
what is the main cause?
as discussed in another thread, i think that if the husband would have his way in all respects, meaning a cute little wife that stays at hope just waiting for him to come home from work always taking care of him/providing him with whatever etc, he probably would not cheat?
he wants somebody that looks up to him, gives him everything he needs, listens to him, always looks her best for him etc.
Now i would be all that for my husband, but would that be enough? or are they all just dogs and if another girl approaches they wont think twice?

read "Never Satisfied: How and Why Men Cheat" by Micheal Baisden. like breezy said there are a lot of different reasons

 

[napgurl]

My husband cheated on me while we were dating. Obviously I stayed because now he's my husband. I don't think you can judge an entire relationship on one incident. He was a caring, respectful, attentive guy for 99.999999% of our relationship. He made one stupid, insensitive, selfish decision. That is in no way excusing what he did but I chose to look at the big picture rather than focus on that one event. I would have left him if my trust in him had been destroyed but it wasn't. I probably would have also left if he hadn't agreed to go to counseling, but he did. We are now both in individual and marital counseling and it is helping a lot. You'd be surprised how many couples have dealt with the issue of infidelity and gone on to have happy, healthy relationships. I think the key is addressing the problems that led to the infidelity and not just expecting things to get better by themselves.

Thank for this answer. Very genuin and honest. I don't know what I would do. We have so much invested together. Eventhough I would like to join the banwagon, I couldn't say I would just dump him. I would perhaps try counseling and forgiveness first.