2018 Relationship And Dating Thread

[sarumoki]

BINGO!!!! Yep this one is b-day worthy. Don’t forget the heels, red lipsick and long earrings....gives it a naughty but classic look.

Maybe it's just me but I'm not a fan on lingerie with closed legs. I prefer a dress-type bottom for easy access. Part of the experience is keeping the vision going, imo. Like I would wear something like this and take off the bottoms and keep on the top and garters.

 

[sarumoki]

I think the above is Christmas lingerie, but it gets the point across.

 

[007PMP]

Christmas in February — something he will forever remember

They both give off different visual stimulation but both something a man would like. Heck just some panties and some heels will make them happy.

 

[GreenEyedJen]

So apparently I'm INFP. Why does this whole article describe me to a T? https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/30-Struggles-All-INFP-Personalities-Experience

I'm an INFP too

 

[fluffyforever]

So I am new to dating. I filed for divorce the day after Christmas and starting dating online in January so I wouldn't sit at home being lonely wishing I had some male company.

Anyway, I've met 3 guys. The first guy was an oversexed freak that tried to force me into touching him inappropriately. I blocked him after the first date. The second guy lied about being single and was much older than he suggested. I guess he felt comfortable telling me he was married because I am married. However, I filed for divorce and separated from DH and this guy didn't do any of that. I blocked him too.

The third guy is like Prince Charming. I'm very excited to have someone that treats me well and is romantic. He picks me up for dates, meets me over lunch breaks to compliment me, and makes me laugh. However it has only been three weeks and he is already declaring his love for me. I know I'm awesome and all but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that right now, especially since I want to date carefree and just have fun. I didn't want to jump into a serious relationship so soon. But on paper and based on what I've seen so far, he'd be a great catch and a step up from DH in many ways. And I do like him a lot and don't want to push him away because I need more time.

Is it possible to fall in love so quickly? People always say here when a man meets the right woman he moves fast. But 3 weeks is a bit too fast, right?

 

[hopeful]

So I am new to dating. I filed for divorce the day after Christmas and starting dating online in January so I wouldn't sit at home being lonely wishing I had some male company.

Anyway, I've met 3 guys. The first guy was an oversexed freak that tried to force me into touching him inappropriately. I blocked him after the first date. The second guy lied about being single and was much older than he suggested. I guess he felt comfortable telling me he was married because I am married. However, I filed for divorce and separated from DH and this guy didn't do any of that. I blocked him too.

The third guy is like Prince Charming. I'm very excited to have someone that treats me well and is romantic. He picks me up for dates, meets me over lunch breaks to compliment me, and makes me laugh. However it has only been three weeks and he is already declaring his love for me. I know I'm awesome and all but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that right now, especially since I want to date carefree and just have fun. I didn't want to jump into a serious relationship so soon. But on paper and based on what I've seen so far, he'd be a great catch and a step up from DH in many ways. And I do like him a lot and don't want to push him away because I need more time.

Is it possible to fall in love so quickly? People always say here when a man meets the right woman he moves fast. But 3 weeks is a bit too fast, right?

He’s trying to overpower you and sweep you off your feet. He is not in love and is not falling in love after 3 weeks. And even if he was you wouldn’t be ready anyway. Like you said, you just filed for divorce, are still legally married, and you want to be carefree and have fun. Stay focused on you and what you want. You can still date him if you want to but I’d add a couple more guys to the roster if I were you. I honestly don’t think this guy is being sincere. Men love freshly divorced or recently filed for divorce women because we are somewhat wounded and inexperienced with dating. What he wants is completely secondary to what you want.

I cannot tell you how many women have posted a similar scenario to what you described and like 99/100 times it crashes and burns and turns out the guy was a narcissist, a cheater, manipulator, etc. So be careful. After just 3 weeks he is essentially a stranger to you and vice versa. Men like this have to move quickly and lay it on thick so that they can get you under their spell and have their way. A sincere man will not be trying to run game on you or overpower you. Quickest way to see if he’s a healthy guy is to say no to him, to say this is going too quickly, slow down. His response will be telling. My bet is that he will get angry, disappear, or continue to do what he has been doing despite your request. A healthy guy will back off and actually try to get to know you, make sure that you feel safe and comfortable.

I read an article once where this newly divorced woman got conned by this guy and she said he later told her he just couldn’t resist because she was like an innocent kitten sitting in the middle of the jungle. Beware of predators.

 

[fluffyforever]

Thank you so much! I'm going to ask that he cools it down and see how he reacts and let him know firmly my reasons for dating and that he can accept it as carefree and casual or move on to someone else who also wants a more serious relationship.

He’s trying to overpower you and sweep you off your feet. He is not in love and is not falling in love after 3 weeks. And even if he was you wouldn’t be ready anyway. Like you said, you just filed for divorce, are still legally married, and you want to be carefree and have fun. Stay focused on you and what you want. You can still date him if you want to but I’d add a couple more guys to the roster if I were you. I honestly don’t think this guy is being sincere. Men love freshly divorced or recently filed for divorce women because we are somewhat wounded and inexperienced with dating. What he wants is completely secondary to what you want.

I cannot tell you how many women have posted a similar scenario to what you described and like 99/100 times it crashes and burns and turns out the guy was a narcissist, a cheater, manipulator, etc. So be careful. After just 3 weeks he is essentially a stranger to you and vice versa. Men like this have to move quickly and lay it on thick so that they can get you under their spell and have their way. A sincere man will not be trying to run game on you or overpower you. Quickest way to see if he’s a healthy guy is to say no to him, to say this is going too quickly, slow down. His response will be telling. My bet is that he will get angry, disappear, or continue to do what he has been doing despite your request. A healthy guy will back off and actually try to get to know you, make sure that you feel safe and comfortable.

I read an article once where this newly divorced woman got conned by this guy and she said he later told her he just couldn’t resist because she was like an innocent kitten sitting in the middle of the jungle. Beware of predators.

 

[hopeful]

Thank you so much! I'm going to ask that he cools it down and see how he reacts and let him know firmly my reasons for dating and that he can accept it as carefree and casual or move on to someone else who also wants a more serious relationship.

You’re welcome! Just be cautious and have fun. You deserve to be carefree and happy. But you need time to heal before you get into a serious relationship. Otherwise the odds are very high to get into an unhealthy relationship and you don’t need or deserve that.

Have fun, be happy, and keep you and your wants and needs front and center. And pay no never mind to what this dude says. Since he’s a charmer he may be very convincing that he gets it. You will have to pay attention to his behavior and to your own instincts, your feminine intuition. And build your roster, that will help keep you from getting caught up. He is truly not worth a lot of your time and energy. Because again he is essentially a stranger at this point.

And take good care of you. Enjoy being single. Once you get used to being on your own you will probably love it and not even be too worried about dating at all for a period.

 

[ClassyJSP]

Maybe it's just me but I'm not a fan on lingerie with closed legs. I prefer a dress-type bottom for easy access. Part of the experience is keeping the vision going, imo. Like I would wear something like this and take off the bottoms and keep on the top and garters.

View attachment 423985

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH this is cute!

 

[BGT]

So the date just ended. I truly think that was my husband I had such a good time.

So he came and supported me at a work event last night. Date two is tomorrow night and date three is Wednesday in New Orleans for Mardi Gras with other couples!

 

[007PMP]

@fluffyforever

Slow the heck down mama! No No No! It is not healthy to fall in love after 3 weeks. You barely know the man....

Tread lightly with dating while with your status....that can come back to bite you and you should delete your post.

 

[LushLox]

I've got another date tomorrow, just a drink this time.

I find this dating thing so awkward, but obviously necessary. He seems quite keen and I have quite good vibes about him; we'll see, I'll report back tomorrow lol.

 

[LushLox]

So he came and supported me at a work event last night. Date two is tomorrow night and date three is Wednesday in New Orleans for Mardi Gras with other couples!

I want my invite to the wedding!

 

[BGT]

I want my invite to the wedding!

I'm thinking April 2020.

So he picked me up Friday night and went to my university for a showing of Love and Basketball. Then we went to dinner and met his best friend and my best friend/her boyfriend at a lounge for a few hours. Then he came back to my place, we cuddled on the couch for about an hour and watched TV, had a little kiss then he left. Yesterday, we had happy hour/lunch after work. Things are looking good!

I'm riding with him to New Orleans tomorrow for Mardi Gras!

 

[sarumoki]

I almost made it the whole winter without getting sick. Almost. Right before Valentine's Day, too.

 

[Fine 4s]

@qchelle

I guess I missed the announcement When was the date so I can search up the thread!

 

[qchelle]

@qchelle

I guess I missed the announcement When was the date so I can search up the thread!

You mean my engagement announcement? Hmm well I got engaged either the 9th or 16th of November So around that time.

 

[Fine 4s]

I think I was more active then...why can't I remember. Oh I know...getting deeper in my 40s

 

[ClassyJSP]

Looks like we're moving our valentine's dinner date to Thursday I have class tonight and tomorrow he has to work late. The day doesn't really matter to me especially since the restaurant we're going to is one of my favorites.

 

[BGT]

I'm thinking April 2020.

So he picked me up Friday night and went to my university for a showing of Love and Basketball. Then we went to dinner and met his best friend and my best friend/her boyfriend at a lounge for a few hours. Then he came back to my place, we cuddled on the couch for about an hour and watched TV, had a little kiss then he left. Yesterday, we had happy hour/lunch after work. Things are looking good!

I'm riding with him to New Orleans tomorrow for Mardi Gras!

Guess who has a Valentine?

 

[LushLox]

I've got another date tomorrow, just a drink this time.

I find this dating thing so awkward, but obviously necessary. He seems quite keen and I have quite good vibes about him; we'll see, I'll report back tomorrow lol.

Just no, didn't like the guy, too dull too boring. I think he was nervous.

Hey ho never mind!

 

[ClassyJSP]

Just no, didn't like the guy, too dull too boring. I think he was nervous.

Hey ho never mind!

On to the next one.

 

[ClassyJSP]

Me and SO have so many trips lined up this year and I'm looking forward to each one. So far we have planned the cabin trip, Disney, kalahari water park (twice), beach and a day trip to New York. A few of the other smaller trips the kids asked to do in the summer have been moved to weekend trips so I can save some of my vacation time.

 

[GreenEyedJen]

Me and SO have so many trips lined up this year and I'm looking forward to each one. So far we have planned the cabin trip, Disney, kalahari water park (twice), beach and a day trip to New York. A few of the other smaller trips the kids asked to do in the summer have been moved to weekend trips so I can save some of my vacation time.

Do you live in PA?!?!

 

[ClassyJSP]

Do you live in PA?!?!

Nope VA

 

[SurferBabe]

This is my first official Valentine's Day, y'all . It's my bf's first official V-Day as well. I'm 31 and he's 38 . We're a hot, late-bloomer mess and I love it!

 

[LushLox]

This is my first official Valentine's Day, y'all . It's my bf's first official V-Day as well. I'm 31 and he's 38 . We're a hot, late-bloomer mess and I love it!

That's lovely, better late than never, enjoy!

 

[fluffyforever]

I have a standing date every Wednesday with Prince Charming so I'm spending Valentine's Day with him tonight. Instead of going out like usual we are having a night in to avoid the crowds. I am really looking forward to it.

I did tell him it makes me uncomfortable for him confessing love feelings after 1 month of dating and although he apologized for making me uneasy he told me he firmly believes his feelings are true and won't take them back, but he will try not to say it going forward and hopes to prove himself by his actions instead. I told him either way of how he feels I'm not looking for serious commitment and he was fine with that and he just wants me to enjoy his efforts and affections for as long as I want.

 

[hopeful]

I have a standing date every Wednesday with Prince Charming so I'm spending Valentine's Day with him tonight. Instead of going out like usual we are having a night in to avoid the crowds. I am really looking forward to it.

I did tell him it makes me uncomfortable for him confessing love feelings after 1 month of dating and although he apologized for making me uneasy he told me he firmly believes his feelings are true and won't take them back, but he will try not to say it going forward and hopes to prove himself by his actions instead. I told him either way of how he feels I'm not looking for serious commitment and he was fine with that and he just wants me to enjoy his efforts and affections for as long as I want.

Good luck and keep us updated. I hope you enjoy your Valentine’s Day.

 

[BlackRinse]

Is there a woman I can speak one on one with through DM's for some relationship advice?

Anyway, I had an "honest conversation" or w/e with my ex, and essentially he said basically I am a good woman without a doubt.
As well as smart, caring, beautiful ect.. But we're different, i'm not as spontaneous, active and adventurous as he is. (He sings, plays the electric guitar, dances, is an artist ect...)

I am an introvert he is an extrovert. He is a good man even if i get upset with him I cannot deny that.
He said that i am afraid to leave my comfort zone. I am still finding myself, he and I's relationship is basically my first "real" relationship.
We have never said I love you to each other though. We've been dating on and off for what will be 1 year this February 18. We have finally been applying the importance of communication where our relationship is currently at.

I know i am boring, this isn't exactly a lie, but I don't know how to be fun. I mean I have social anxiety disorder, I don't like parties.
I mean this has been an existing insecurity for me in friendships and relationships. And he finally said it, he didn't want to hurt my feelings.

I want to start getting in to dance and go to the gym / aquafit and stuff. Does anyone have any advice for me? The way our conversation ended he seems to want to try again. Which is why i am writing here.