2018 Relationship And Dating Thread

RoseofLily said:
For those who are still using dating apps. Which one is you giving more response and hope.
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I met my guy on OkCupid. At the time I had the paid version which let me see who liked my profile, and of those guys I could choose who to like back. I had a setting where only guys I liked could message me so that cut down on the riff raff. The quality increase dramatically after that. This was a while ago so I wouldn't be surprised if it has changed since then. I never had luck with any of the other ones.
 
I introduced two folks for professional reasons. I’m close to both. They began flirting and I got excited. They are both decent people looking for love. HOWEVER the guy is broke and even owes me money. He’s a good dude but he doesn’t live like a man in his mid 40s should, I’m sorry.
She on the other hand has two kids, owns a home, 6 figure income, go getter, etc....Their hearts would be good together but *sigh* I don’t want to lie to either one of them but they’re going to have to figure it out on their own. I’m out.

I don’t think it’s fair to say that men who don’t have their stuff together shouldn’t date but what do you think an established woman needs in her life? What are they thinking?
 
I met SO's mom on Saturday. I was nervous AF but I could tell she was more nervous. When we were dating, SO told me his mom emotionally leans on him a lot and fears any woman he's involved with will take him away. It's one of the reasons I was hesitant about being exclusive with SO at first. :look: But SO is slowly but surely pushing to have his own life. There's also the cultural dimension since SO is Salvadoran. His mom basically wanted to know I won't cut her future grandkids off from their culture. :rolleyes: When I told her I studied Spanish (but need to practice speaking it) she was happy.

All I have to do is make it clear I'm not going to stand the way of their relationship. Which I won't. SO will do the rest. :look: Now I'm ready for SO to meet my parents.
 
Fine 4s said:
@ScorpioBeauty09

Don’t underestimate the potential hardship to come. There’s plenty of posts about stuff like this and the one advice that I would always keep in mind is that anything that may occur in the future, let HIM handle it with his mother.
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Yeeees. My marriage was a disaster because of an overbearing mother that was always fearful that I was taking her "brilliant baby boy" away from her. She made my life a living hell. I do agree that the guy needs to handle HIS family and you need to handle yours. OP, I would suggest that you keep some distance between yall. Don't be buddy buddy with her. Be cordial. But not too nice.
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
I met SO's mom on Saturday. I was nervous AF but I could tell she was more nervous. When we were dating, SO told me his mom emotionally leans on him a lot and fears any woman he's involved with will take him away. It's one of the reasons I was hesitant about being exclusive with SO at first. :look: But SO is slowly but surely pushing to have his own life. There's also the cultural dimension since SO is Salvadoran. His mom basically wanted to know I won't cut her future grandkids off from their culture. :rolleyes: When I told her I studied Spanish (but need to practice speaking it) she was happy.

All I have to do is make it clear I'm not going to stand the way of their relationship. Which I won't. SO will do the rest. :look: Now I'm ready for SO to meet my parents.
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I understand what he is going through. My mother has become extremely dependent on me and I've been working to change that. It can be tough but it's not a healthy relationship for a parent to have with their child. I'm guessing the mother is single? It might be time for her to get out and find a man and a thriving social life with healthy friendships :look:. No joke. I'm pushing my mother to find her own life, too. It's always been tough for me to date men who had unpartnered moms. Being with my current SO is so breezy because his parents are still married and his mother has close friendships and a great relationship with her female relatives. No need to lean on her children for emotional support.
 
SurferBabe said:
I understand what he is going through. My mother has become extremely dependent on me and I've been working to change that. It can be tough but it's not a healthy relationship for a parent to have with their child. I'm guessing the mother is single? It might be time for her to get out and find a man and a thriving social life with healthy friendships :look:. No joke. I'm pushing my mother to find her own life, too. It's always been tough for me to date men who had unpartnered moms. Being with my current SO is so breezy because his parents are still married and his mother has close friendships and a great relationship with her female relatives. No need to lean on her children for emotional support.
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SO's parents are still married but her relationship with her husband is strained. SO's father's relationship with the whole family is strained. I can relate to SO, although my parents are still in love with each other and are working on their relationship. SO's parents live separate lives at this point. The other difference is my mom has made it crystal clear she wants her children to have our own lives--spouses, children, careers, no matter where that takes us. She wants to be part of our lives obviously but she doesn't want to hold us back. So she takes extra care of herself to keep herself healthy like exercising and eating healthy. SO's mother doesn't do any of that. Like SO tries to get her to exercise with him and no-go. :nono: And she needs to lose weight.
 
During lunch yesterday SO told me he's thinking of buying another house in a different part of his current neighborhood. He asked me how I'd feel about living there. I told him it would be different because I grew up in the hills. :look: I like the privacy, quiet and nature. But I like the diversity of the neighborhood he's in. Assuming SO and I have children, the demographics are what I'd want to expose them to. It would be an adjustment but I could work with it. Plus, I will inherit part of my parents' house and my sisters and I have an agreement not to sell it.
 
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luckiestdestiny said:
Congrats to you.

Love to hear the deets especially for online dating. How did he or you approach? First date? How long before proposal? Just curious :lol:
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He approached (messaged) me first on June 25. Just a simple message saying, “Hey, how are you Miss Rafikichick92” and a question about something on my profile. I remember he gave me his number after a few messages and asked me to text him if I felt comfortable. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt on that, that he was thinking that I might not be comfortable giving a stranger my number, which turned out to be the case.


Our first date was July 29. He actually asked me to go out with him and meet his family for July 4, but I declined due to some job issues. We planned for July 15, but due to more job issues, I cancelled and our first date actually happened July 29. All of this had him suspicious that I was a catfish, or something, but clearly not.

He proposed December 23, but he was ready a lot sooner (as soon as September). He has always dreamed of a Christmas proposal, so he waited. I always tease him, what if we had met in January and he was ready to propose by March?

We also wanted a short engagement, but my mom felt we should be engaged for at least a year first. We might have gone along with that except that it would have put us getting married in December/January which is lousy timing for a wedding and we didn’t want to wait even longer just for better weather, so we “compromised” for August/September.
 
qchelle said:
@rafikichick92 Did the wedding happen yet?!
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Yup, almost 2 weeks ago! We waited til September in name only, lol. I’m waiting til we get pics back to do a thread. We asked for no cellphone photography during the ceremony, so there are NO photos to be had, except of the reception, and I did a dress change, so no photos of the actual wedding dress or anything right now.
 
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