2018 Relationship And Dating Thread

Went to dinner with my brunch buddy—he finally got a dinner date and I dressed up so he was happy. We’re friends and that’s where it will stay. He’s attractive but the fact that he’s in a long separation with no plans to finalize is enough for me to say no thanks on all levels. Friends with no benefits other than him taking me out is good enough for me (forever).

Of course after Friday’s lunch and dinner (he stayed over :look:), HotRod wanted to hang out today but I declined because of my dinner plans. He had an attitude talking about “I was going to take you to dinner but looks like some douchebag beat me to it and since I got blocked for being an arsehole the first time I’ll sit tight because I don’t want to be blocked again”. :lol:

Glad you know how to behave during this thing called dating. Yes you finally got some cookie but don’t get ahead of yourself buddy. :rolleyes:
 
007PMP said:
Went to dinner with my brunch buddy—he finally got a dinner date and I dressed up so he was happy. We’re friends and that’s where it will stay. He’s attractive but the fact that he’s in a long separation with no plans to finalize is enough for me to say no thanks on all levels. Friends with no benefits other than him taking me out is good enough for me (forever).

Of course after Friday’s lunch and dinner (he stayed over :look:), HotRod wanted to hang out today but I declined because of my dinner plans. He had an attitude talking about “I was going to take you to dinner but looks like some douchebag beat me to it and since I got blocked for being an arsehole the first time I’ll sit tight because I don’t want to be blocked again”. :lol:

Glad you know how to behave during this thing called dating. Yes you finally got some cookie but don’t get ahead of yourself buddy. :rolleyes:
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:lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
My boyfriend has a good sized family (4 siblings) and I met his brother, sister-in-Law, and nieces when they came up to visit from FL. Two of the other siblings were there (already know and love them), along with a nephew, and of course his parents.

Everyone wanted to get pictures since they’re only together a couple times a year. I went to take the picture and SO’s father said “Heeey, hey uh uh Jen (SOs last name), you’re in this picture too!”

My boyfriend is really independent but is babied by his family, since he is the youngest (over a decade younger than the one before) and he is his mothers only birth son. They are protective of him.

Parents always take well to me, but this was the most blatant “Son, if you don’t go on and marry this girl” that I’ve been privy to. :lol:
 
GreenEyedJen said:
My boyfriend has a good sized family (4 siblings) and I met his brother, sister-in-Law, and nieces when they came up to visit from FL. Two of the other siblings were there (already know and love them), along with a nephew, and of course his parents.

Everyone wanted to get pictures since they’re only together a couple times a year. I went to take the picture and SO’s father said “Heeey, hey uh uh Jen (SOs last name), you’re in this picture too!”

My boyfriend is really independent but is babied by his family, since he is the youngest (over a decade younger than the one before) and he is his mothers only birth son. They are protective of him.

Parents always take well to me, but this was the most blatant “Son, if you don’t go on and marry this girl” that I’ve been privy to. :lol:
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Well shoot, that's very blatant! Nice! :lol:
 
BrownSkinPoppin said:
We believe he’s advanced to the next step for a job in my city so that’s a step In the right direction.
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He completed the first round of interviews for the job. But based on a conversation we had the other day I think he’s having second thoughts about moving back to ATL. I sense that his second thoughts about the move are causing him to withdraw. Over the last two days the texts and calls have definitely slowed down. I asked him to let me know how his interview went and he never called or texted me with an update. I assume he’s trying to make an informed decision about his future and needs some space. So I’m falling back for now and will continue to live my life as usual. He’ll come around if I’m still who he wants.
 
I’m getting tired of this back and forth with MFT. One day I think we’re good and another day I could take or leave him. It’s too much considering the short time we’ve been seeing each other. We’re having dinner tonight but I’m falling back and looking at other dates.

I created and deleted an account on Bumble in an hour. I was turned off that quickly. OKC still it is. Messaged a few guys yesterday and today, we’ll see. The thing I don’t like about OKC is some guys will like my profile but not respond if I send a message. :confused:o_O Annoying AF.
 
BrownSkinPoppin said:
He completed the first round of interviews for the job. But based on a conversation we had the other day I think he’s having second thoughts about moving back to ATL. I sense that his second thoughts about the move are causing him to withdraw. Over the last two days the texts and calls have definitely slowed down. I asked him to let me know how his interview went and he never called or texted me with an update. I assume he’s trying to make an informed decision about his future and needs some space. So I’m falling back for now and will continue to live my life as usual. He’ll come around if I’m still who he wants.
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That’s right, you keep falling back, mirror his interest level and energy. But also remember that you are in charge of your life and it could be you that changes their mind about still wanting him. You can change your mind at any time as well. Be hard to get and easy to lose.
 
I didn't have dinner with MFT last Friday because I was all stressed out with bar prep, but we did have dinner last night. It was great to see him again because we communicate so well. I'm getting comfortable letting my emotional guard down with him and letting him see my vulnerabilities, which the bar is definitely bringing out. He always makes me laugh so it was great to see him and forget about life's stresses for a while.
 
My friend told me about something that upset her but I'm not sure if I'm helping her gain a fair perspective.

Her bf and his siblings were playing around (story he told her) talking about relationships and whatnot and the siblings took his phone and sent his ex a love song. Apparently they were asking about her and him etc. Supposedly it was a joke and was telling them that him and the ex are past their past (they have a child).
She's never met his family which perhaps ads another level of complication for her. Anyway, she found out through cyber stalking that the ex announced that he has sent her a love song (I'm sure she was a little gassy lol)
I agree with her that it was disrespectful but on the other hand I can see siblings messing around and doing messy things like this if they don't know you. I think if they met her, she would be more real to the sisters and MAYBE they would have thought about her feelings before doing this messy thing....

Anyway, what ya'll think?
 
@Fine 4s

How long have they been dating? Why hasn't she met his family? Why is she stalking the ex's social media? What is his relationship like with the ex that she would announce to people that he did that? Did the ex reply to his phone afterwards, and more importantly, what did he say to his ex?

It all sounds suspect to me.
 
Maybe a year @sarumoki ? His family lives out of state but I don't know other details as to why they haven't met yet. I didn't ask her about the cyber stalking because I already knew she was doing that and I've done it to so I have no room to say anything about that lol
She said, their relationship is cordial no issues or nothing she was ever concerned with or at least we never discussed it. ETA- She might be one of those people that like to announce stuff on social media OR she knows my friend is watching? IDK but I've seen posts people make about real life events all the time so maybe she's just an announcer.
She doesn't know what was said back because she hasn't seen him or the text exchange. He doesn't know how she found out but assumes she saw the texts. I'd want to see the texts myself.

It totally is suspect and that's the wooooorse because you can't prove it either way! He really has no other excuse other than retelling the story about the joke.
I'm still curious about what it means that the sisters thought it was OK to play like this. I mean these are all grown ass people! like 35+ one even married.
 
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I never post in this thread but I have a question @Fine 4s So he told your friend the story of his siblings joking around and sending the texts AFTER your friend found out about from stalking the ex's social media? If that's the case, me thinks he's lying. He just never expected her to find out that he did something like that. So yeah of course he can blame siblings she's never met before so he can get the heat off himself. And other than recounting the story (if the story is true) he could tell his gf that he made sure to check his siblings and tell the ex it wasn't him and that they were messing around. If he thinks she saw texts sending a love song why aren't there any texts correcting the situation and letting the ex know his siblings are foolish.
 
The story drew you out? Yay!! Welcome...

For sure he never thought that she'd find out lol
But even WITH blaming the sisters it's still no bueno. EXACTLY!!!!! about checking the siblings...but I don't think he thought it was a bad idea in the moment or else why do it? It sounds like it was a 'go ahead' to the siblings....when keeping it real goes wrong kind of thing. That's why I'd want to see the texts to see what he told her. So the convo was super quick for various reasons on both their ends so they didn't get into all that but supposedly the texts after clear up the story. Maybe when she sees the texts, the story will make more sense but gosh....MESSY. On another note, I met the guy and he seems like a good dude but you really never know what people do in these skreets.

ETA: I don't think that he's suspect for telling her the story after she found out. Why, if he was playing around with this folks would he tell about some joke that was really a joke? (just devil's advocate here). I mean I've done stuff that I don't think my bf would find out about and IF he did, I'd have to tell him some kind of story too. Is it plausible? I think so. But It's one of those eeeeeiiinnnnhhhhh.....
 
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Fine 4s said:
The story drew you out? Yay!! Welcome...

For sure he never thought that she'd find out lol
But even WITH blaming the sisters it's still no bueno. EXACTLY!!!!! about checking the siblings...but I don't think he thought it was a bad idea in the moment or else why do it? It sounds like it was a 'go ahead' to the siblings....when keeping it real goes wrong kind of thing. That's why I'd want to see the texts to see what he told her. So the convo was super quick for various reasons on both their ends so they didn't get into all that but supposedly the texts after clear up the story. Maybe when she sees the texts, the story will make more sense but gosh....MESSY. On another note, I met the guy and he seems like a good dude but you really never know what people do in these skreets.

ETA: I don't think that he's suspect for telling her the story after she found out. Why, if he was playing around with this folks would he tell about some joke that was really a joke? (just devil's advocate here). I mean I've done stuff that I don't think my bf would find out about and IF he did, I'd have to tell him some kind of story too. Is it plausible? I think so. But It's one of those eeeeeiiinnnnhhhhh.....
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I mean, I guess. But it just sounds weird to me. And the fact that the ex posted it on facebook makes it seem even more weird. Idk it just doesn't sit right with me.

And yeah I stay in the singles thread. I only lurk in the dating thread even though it's gotten more live in here than it used to be lol
 
Been a while since my update. Still with the mister from POF....I mentioned previously. We're in a exclusive/committed relationship now. We met eachother's family/parents we did a weekend getaway and will be going away in a few weeks for a 10 day caribbean vacation.
We're both happy...our kids are happy that we found eachother...we're taking it one day at time..and enjoying every minute of it.
 
Got back from vacation this week and went on a date with a guy from Tinder. He was a nice told me to order whatever I wanted and we had a nice conversation. We have plans to see each other again next week. I have a date planned tomorrow with a different guy. I already know that we are not going to be a good fit based on some things that he said.

In the past I would try to deny peoples reality, because other people tried to deny mine. For example, if they tell me how they feel about something I would question it instead of just rolling with it. So this guy says to me, he was glad that I didn’t have kids because he has had problems in the past with women and their children. He told me that he has dated women, and they’ve said to him that he doesn’t treat their kids like he treats his own kids. Red flag! He said, “how can I treat them the same they’re not my kids. I won’t love those kids like I love my kids.” Even though I’m not a parent, I found his position very disturbing. I can’t imagine Russell saying this about little Future. He also didn’t sound very connected to his own kids. I didn’t say a word.

He also said that he dated a woman for 2.5 years and he got annoyed because she wanted to get married and he was happy dating. Y’all I have been gaslighted so much by my exes and my mom that I actually took notes during our phone conversation. I needed to see what I heard. I’m retraining my brain.

Tomorrow will be nothing more than a meal and a sociology experiment. The better I understand the miscreants, the easier it will be to spot and avoid them.
 
So we went ring shopping today....

Last week he told me to look at some rings and let him know what my preferences are. Well, today we had some time and stopped in a few stores together in order to figure out the type of ring that would actually look good on me.

I'm starting to get a little excited about our future engagement. But it also feels like "just another day in our life" since we get on so well.
 
ArrrBeee said:
Got back from vacation this week and went on a date with a guy from Tinder. He was a nice told me to order whatever I wanted and we had a nice conversation. We have plans to see each other again next week. I have a date planned tomorrow with a different guy. I already know that we are not going to be a good fit based on some things that he said.

In the past I would try to deny peoples reality, because other people tried to deny mine. For example, if they tell me how they feel about something I would question it instead of just rolling with it. So this guy says to me, he was glad that I didn’t have kids because he has had problems in the past with women and their children. He told me that he has dated women, and they’ve said to him that he doesn’t treat their kids like he treats his own kids. Red flag! He said, “how can I treat them the same they’re not my kids. I won’t love those kids like I love my kids.” Even though I’m not a parent, I found his position very disturbing. I can’t imagine Russell saying this about little Future. He also didn’t sound very connected to his own kids. I didn’t say a word.

He also said that he dated a woman for 2.5 years and he got annoyed because she wanted to get married and he was happy dating. Y’all I have been gaslighted so much by my exes and my mom that I actually took notes during our phone conversation. I needed to see what I heard. I’m retraining my brain.

Tomorrow will be nothing more than a meal and a sociology experiment. The better I understand the miscreants, the easier it will be to spot and avoid them.
Click to expand...

Great for you!! Im excited to hear about your experiment! I hope you'll keep us posted Lol
 
Rori Raye says that dating is free therapy. My therapist retired so here I am.

We met for lunch and I felt that I had to over function. Or did I? I’m open to feedback because honestly, I’ve dated more people in the past 3 months than I have in a really long time. All of this is new to me. I was a serial monogamist and that did not serve me well. It feels strange that I’m living my best life in my late 40’s. I am not going to have regrets about my past. I’m just going to keep living and learning.

He gave me restaurant options. Said he didn’t know of many places because he’s new to the area, which is true. So I ended up choosing the place. Later in our conversation, somehow it came up and I said that I like a man to take the lead even if it’s choosing a restaurant. He told me that he wanted me to feel comfortable so that’s why he wanted me to pick it and that he would choose the next time.

I also figured out a way to bring up the other people’s kid situation. He gave me some scenarios that helped to clarify his thinking. I am so paranoid about falling into or for some bs that I have to fight the urge to jump off the ship before it leaves the port. The conversation flowed easy and well, so we will go out next week. He wanted to schedule it before we left the restaurant.

OAN, I was talking to another guy last night and he asked me if I was free today for dinner. I told him no so he set up a date for next weekend. He texted today and asked what I was doing. I said that I was about to go out to eat. He asked where. I told him that I would have been going out with him had he asked sooner :look:. Told him I’d see him next week.
 
Now I'm anxious...

my bf told his mother about the engagement. I didn't want him to, but he had to since it'll affect her living arrangements. (Not a bad thing, but I'm not getting into the details on that on here...).

Bf is super duper excited which is helping to keep me calm, because that means he has everything under control :yep:

We'll be moving to a neighboring state, which means I'll now have to get my driver's license :look:. He already owns a home, so I'll be moving there. Surprisingly, due to the foolywang that is my commute, it'll be easier to get to work from his house than it is from mine. Smh.

As I mentioned before, this engagement feels natural. Maybe it's the earth sign in me that's more concerned about the logistics? :look:

I've already started thinking about the wedding stuff...naturally? Oh, and I'm not telling anyone in real life about this until we are actually engaged.
 
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C@ssandr@ said:
Now I'm anxious...

my bf told his mother about the engagement. I didn't want him to, but he had to since it'll affect her living arrangements. (Not a bad thing, but I'm not getting into the details on that on here...).

Bf is super duper excited which is helping to keep me calm, because that means he has everything under control :yep:

We'll be moving to a neighboring state, which means I'll now have to get my driver's license :look:. He already owns a home, so I'll be moving there. Surprisingly, due to the foolywang that is my commute, it'll be easier to get to work from his house than it is from mine. Smh.

As I mentioned before, this engagement feels natural. Maybe it's the earth sign in me that's more concerned about the logistics? :look:

I've already started thinking about the wedding stuff...naturally? Oh, and I'm not telling anyone in real life about this until we are actually engaged.
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Congratulations Miss lady! Happy to see another lady come up off thread.. :grin:
 
C@ssandr@ said:
Now I'm anxious...

my bf told his mother about the engagement. I didn't want him to, but he had to since it'll affect her living arrangements. (Not a bad thing, but I'm not getting into the details on that on here...).

Bf is super duper excited which is helping to keep me calm, because that means he has everything under control :yep:

We'll be moving to a neighboring state, which means I'll now have to get my driver's license :look:. He already owns a home, so I'll be moving there. Surprisingly, due to the foolywang that is my commute, it'll be easier to get to work from his house than it is from mine. Smh.

As I mentioned before, this engagement feels natural. Maybe it's the earth sign in me that's more concerned about the logistics? :look:

I've already started thinking about the wedding stuff...naturally? Oh, and I'm not telling anyone in real life about this until we are actually engaged.
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:cry4:There was something in my eye.....
Congrats girl:congrats:
 
C@ssandr@ said:
Now I'm anxious...

my bf told his mother about the engagement. I didn't want him to, but he had to since it'll affect her living arrangements. (Not a bad thing, but I'm not getting into the details on that on here...).

Bf is super duper excited which is helping to keep me calm, because that means he has everything under control :yep:

We'll be moving to a neighboring state, which means I'll now have to get my driver's license :look:. He already owns a home, so I'll be moving there. Surprisingly, due to the foolywang that is my commute, it'll be easier to get to work from his house than it is from mine. Smh.

As I mentioned before, this engagement feels natural. Maybe it's the earth sign in me that's more concerned about the logistics? :look:

I've already started thinking about the wedding stuff...naturally? Oh, and I'm not telling anyone in real life about this until we are actually engaged.
Click to expand...
Congrats!

:bouncy:
 
Tales from the block(ed)

1. Let me start with Mr. Red Flags. I had my reservations but I was powering through in the name of market research. The first time dude negged me, I let it slide because maybe I do look better in person than in photos. He did it a few more times followed by "just kidding. I got off the phone with the pretense that all was okay. The next morning, I sent him a message saying we weren't going to be a good fit. This fool semi goes off and calls me twice. I didn't answer.

2. Met him while out and about. We made plans for a date today. Talked on the phone several times but no discussion on a time and a place. I didn't ask because I'm not about that life. Didn't hear from him today. Deuces.

3. Met online and he asked for my number. I gave it to him but I typed one of the digits wrong. He sent a message on the app asking if I got it. I realized my mistake,gave him the right number, and went to sleep. When I went on the app, he messaged me taking about " I guess that's the number you give side n--s and potential side pieces. I responded, "excuse me". He said he was joking. I will not tolerate a stranger making those types of insinuating remarks. Deleted him from the app. He sent me a message saying that I didn't have a sense of humor and good luck. Boy bye.

These ninjas gone learn. You can either be good or be gone.
 
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