2018 Relationship And Dating Thread

Date night with HotRod tomorrow.

Y’all he is the only man I’m going on dates with now. Although, he thinks otherwise.

Not sure how this happened but I’m here and not going to run. I feel so...vulnerable. :lol:

I still delay my responses to him and never call or text first. He says he’s “onto me” and thinks its funny that I’m afraid of the “clank clank”.

I’m just not ready for all those expectations that comes with a relationship. I know why but I’m okay with not changing.
 
007PMP said:
Date night with HotRod tomorrow.

Y’all he is the only man I’m going on dates with now. Although, he thinks otherwise.

Not sure how this happened but I’m here and not going to run. I feel so...vulnerable. :lol:

I still delay my responses to him and never call or text first. He says he’s “onto me” and thinks its funny that I’m afraid of the “clank clank”.

I’m just not ready for all those expectations that comes with a relationship. I know why but I’m okay with not changing.
Click to expand...

Okay its rainy with a chance of meatballs people...

CuriousGeorge calls to say hi and checking to see if he could rectify the error in his way..:look:

I think this is my granny from upstairs (RIP) way of telling me to keep the boots on since they’re made for walking, hop back on the saddle and ride dating scene out into the sunset.

So...because I’m spiritual and all, I agreed to a date next week. I told him I will be OOT 3 days next week for which he said—he will drive the 5 hours if necessary since he deserves everything coming. I told him not necessary, besides when you get there you might not find parking.
 
I got on Tinder this week and I can't keep up. I have 3 guys with the same name that are messaging me.

One guy messages me with "Use your manners, say something" after I didn't immediately respond. I unmatched us because he sounds crazy.

I don't have any expectations so I'm going to use what my LHCF sisters and Rori Raye taught me and see what happens.
 
007PMP said:
Okay its rainy with a chance of meatballs people...

CuriousGeorge calls to say hi and checking to see if he could rectify the error in his way..:look:

I think this is my granny from upstairs (RIP) way of telling me to keep the boots on since they’re made for walking, hop back on the saddle and ride dating scene out into the sunset.

So...because I’m spiritual and all, I agreed to a date next week. I told him I will be OOT 3 days next week for which he said—he will drive the 5 hours if necessary since he deserves everything coming. I told him not necessary, besides when you get there you might not find parking.
Click to expand...

I love how you are in control of your dating life. I would love to start dating but grad school makes it so hard. I am going to live vicariously through you and the ladies til December. lol I love reading everyone's post. I am taking notes from everyone here on this thread. PMP what do you think of capricorn and pisces??.. This guy I date occasionally always makes himself readily available when I have time for lunch, or brunch and always checks up on me. I am not needing anything serious. Then I have a scorpio around that satifies my need to colour at times. I am a pisces but it is something about our connection. Anytime I call him he makes himself available. I can't call what I am doing dating because, I respond when I want to them, which sometimes can be weeks, or even a month goes by before they hear from me.
 
There's no random thoughts thread and I didn't think it warranted a new thread but it relates to dating.

I wonder, when women make social media post that start with "Dear Future Husband", are they seeking attention from some dude on their friend list orrr.... Well idk lol.

Today's version was that she was praying for him. And she hopes they are praying for her too.
 
007PMP said:
Not sure how this happened but I’m here and not going to run. I feel so...vulnerable. :lol:

I’m just not ready for all those expectations that comes with a relationship. I know why but I’m okay with not changing.
Click to expand...
That's how I feel. MFT is more than ready to be exclusive but I'm not there yet. At first I thought it was because of a lack of feelings for him, then I realized I'd feel this way even if I was sprung. Things are crazy for us both individuals right now--me with the bar exam, him with moving and becoming a homeowner, plus work stuff so I think it's best we stick to dating until things calm down for us both. Luckily he understands that. I need to focus on me for a minute.

So we had dinner tonight and I hung out with him and his housemates in the place he's preparing to move out of. We're seeing Jurassic World 2 tomorrow. Every time I see him, it just gets better. It makes me feel vulnerable. Our relationship has always been emotionally vulnerable. Now the sexual tension is coming in so now I feel physically vulnerable too. :look: This is completely new for me and it's scary AF.:eek: :hide:
 
Went on my first Tinder date last night. I knew it was going to be a bust for multiple reasons:

He invited me to a place with limited parking and no appetizers. I'm not trying to drink on an empty stomach and his not choosing an easily accessible location showed that he wasn't thoughtful. He also didn't offer to pay for valet. I didnt valet because I would have driven back home first rather than pay parking for a date.

He talked about how it's a problem if a woman hasn't offered to pay by the 5th date yet alluded to his great salary.

He was negative and talked incessantly about himself.

His breath reeked of cigars.

There will not be a second date.
 
Time of death: Yesterday.

I had to block HotRod...ughhh ninjas mannn.

So I canceled our date night because well I rather stay in my bed alone. He asked the day before if he could stay the night, if it got to late...to which I accepted. But once I agreed, he then took it futher...”well since I can stay over why don’t we eat in and you cook something”. The last dude I cooked for was beta beau and he put his time in so I was happy to cook when asked. But this cat?!!! It hasn’t even been 91 days and he’s already trying to create a netflix and chill.

I thought about it and sent him a message that morning saying we’re going to raincheck the sleepover. Needless to say after a few messages, he pulled the “what the hell did I ever do to you” and “I thought we were friends getting to know each other”

See...sweetie what you’re not gon do is 1) talk to me like I owe you a meal and 2) throw a fit because you cant get what you want.

So I sent a nice/nasty message with the “you are blocked after I press send”. He was heated :lol: because he called my work cell several times but me no answer.

I good, love. Enjoy.
 
THicknLong said:
I love how you are in control of your dating life. I would love to start dating but grad school makes it so hard. I am going to live vicariously through you and the ladies til December. lol I love reading everyone's post. I am taking notes from everyone here on this thread. PMP what do you think of capricorn and pisces??.. This guy I date occasionally always makes himself readily available when I have time for lunch, or brunch and always checks up on me. I am not needing anything serious. Then I have a scorpio around that satifies my need to colour at times. I am a pisces but it is something about our connection. Anytime I call him he makes himself available. I can't call what I am doing dating because, I respond when I want to them, which sometimes can be weeks, or even a month goes by before they hear from me.
Click to expand...

I’m a huge fan of pisces both men and women have always been good people to me. So I say go for it and try not to consider the guys sign UNLESS you hit a bump —- then its look at the process and who’s (him) in it.

And it’s your island, your temperature, and the way you cultivate it—-until a visitor wants to take claim, run your island like a boss and be well managed. It can be frustrating at times but that will always be the case when you interact with humans. No one is perfect and everyone comes with baggage, but don’t be afraid tell them uo front they need to make sure their luggage is neatly tucked and stowed away. :lol:
 
007PMP said:
I’m a huge fan of pisces both men and women have always been good people to me. So I say go for it and try not to consider the guys sign UNLESS you hit a bump —- then its look at the process and who’s (him) in it.

And it’s your island, your temperature, and the way you cultivate it—-until a visitor wants to take claim, run your island like a boss and be well managed. It can be frustrating at times but that will always be the case when you interact with humans. No one is perfect and everyone comes with baggage, but don’t be afraid tell them uo front they need to make sure their luggage is neatly tucked and stowed away. :lol:
Click to expand...
I needed to read that.

Im still second guessing myself in the back of my head. The last two men I stopped talking to refused to get my nails done. One was for Mother’s Day. He didn’t give me ANYTHING for mother’s day And we had been talking for a month. The other is because he made comments he didn’t like my nail color. Okay. Well change it. He said I’m not getting your nails done. That’s wifey stuff. Boy you make six figures son. Sit on down.

Nails cost $60 in my area. If you can’t get a girl’s nails or hair done occasionally...we are in the game for a while bunch of problems. And you say stuff like, “I don’t like a woman to tell me what she wants. I want me to do heartfelt stuff that I come up with when I want”. It makes me feel some kind of way. Because it just means I want to give you crumbs and I expect you to be satiated and satisfied but in return I want you to nurture me to the heavens.
 
I had 2 dates lined up for today. The lunch date supposedly has a cold and cancelled this morning. The Starbucks date stood me up.

Had a phone convo with a different guy. He was funny and I laughed the whole time. I got off the phone and allowed myself to feel the heady rush of possibility for all of 3 minutes. Then I cussed myself out and remembered that I am not trying to catch feelings and that everyone should be nice at this point. Had my big sis @hopeful ringing in my ears.

Was chatting with another guy and he asked if I wanted to meet for drinks. I ignored that rule about planning ahead. I didn’t have anything to do and we just started talking yesterday. We met, had fun, he bought drinks and food and he wants to see me again.
 
I saw Jurassic World 2 with MFT last night. I honestly could take or leave him at this point. I'd miss him and our conversations but I wouldn't be devastated for long. We're at the point where I'm noticing things about him I don't like and I'm realizing what being in an official relationship with him would be like. :look:
 
ArrrBeee said:
I had 2 dates lined up for today. The lunch date supposedly has a cold and cancelled this morning. The Starbucks date stood me up.

Had a phone convo with a different guy. He was funny and I laughed the whole time. I got off the phone and allowed myself to feel the heady rush of possibility for all of 3 minutes. Then I cussed myself out and remembered that I am not trying to catch feelings and that everyone should be nice at this point. Had my big sis @hopeful ringing in my ears.

Was chatting with another guy and he asked if I wanted to meet for drinks. I ignored that rule about planning ahead. I didn’t have anything to do and we just started talking yesterday. We met, had fun, he bought drinks and food and he wants to see me again.
Click to expand...

Ignored this rule a few times with the last guy. Can someone chime in on what this does over time. It makes him think
(EDIT) I took a little time to reflect on my past brief dating with Engineer guy and honestly this is what happened when I let him make last minute dates

1. This is a time of self-discovery of putting myself first...I stopped it prematurely. I was going to menchies. Hanging out in the sun. Reading books and ish. Here comes this dude. He'd be like, "Beautiful I'm really trying to spend some time with you. Can i see you TODAY." I'd be like sure. I missed out going to Bible Study. I missed out writing in my journal for like two weeks. I haven't gone to Menchies in a while. And I said ti was okay because we were going cool places too. BUT unless the next guy puts up an effort to see me and proven himself to be worthy of my time....I need to make sure my plans and my life and my hobbies and my livelihood come first.
2. If I don't jump when he calls it really makes the controlling men or narcs exit left. I think I did good on peeping some signs that he was controlling but I would have noticed earlier if I didn't meet him when HE wanted.
3. THIS IS MY ISLAND. This is what I need help with. I need to learn to set the pace. Like someone said up thread. This is MY island. I set the temperature. I set the weather. I set the fire. I set the putting out of fires. If I learn how to play the role in setting the pace how often I see someone...maybe BOTH of us can set some good boundaries that we'll both benefit from.
 
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I went to my normal movie spot Friday to see Supafly....Guess who’s truck was in the parking lot?!

Yup HotRod.

Needless to say...I enjoyed the movie in her same seat alone and acted like she knew no one in that entire theater. “007pmp do you want your usual?” “Yup and increase my Riesling to a 10 oz pour inatead of the 6. Thank you very much!” Hmph this ninja.....:rolleyes:

Saturday I met a guy online. We hit it off great for a good 4 hours texting.

I was making runs—getting hair done, shopping at saks (got some baaaddd gianvito rossi pumps that were on sale), and lunch. Around 2/3 he sends a “hey would you like to go to a jazz concert with me tonight?” To which I said “heck yeah”...Showed up looking like a meal in my new pumps. And prayed on the way to the concert that he wasn’t a catfish. My prayer was answered!!! BUT he doesn’t know how to dress and he’s aiight in person (maybe I was drunk swiping that night)—not a 10 but not a 4 or a 7. So he’s a 6 which potential if he stops clean shaving and allow me to influence his choice of clothes.

But we had a REALLY good time. We danced together and it wasn’t awkward. He’s a little rusty but still fun. After 4 hours of live music, I went home. He asked me if I would go with him to the Essence festival and I think I will go.

So this morning I get a call from an unidentifiable number and its HotRod—-talking about don’t hang up let me talk. Update: He apologized and asked if we can resume where we left off...I said sure as long as your intentions are well stated and you talk to me like you would expect a man to talk to your daughter. He said thank you, I said thank you and we’re supposed to talk later.
 
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PrissiSippi said:
Ignored this rule a few times with the last guy. Can someone chime in on what this does over time. It makes him think
Click to expand...

@PrissiSippi

Well I’m not a rules kind of woman—I error on the side of evidence based decision making. In some cases I do hold out communication before meeting but that’s only if I have picked up on something about him that warrants more screening before meeting or I feel like the guy is so arrogant that he needs a healthy dose of “mindfck” to bring him back to reality (kinda like HotRod). Remember men are all about the conquest FIRST before everything—so that’s the level you strategize from and plan accordingly.

To me, making yourself available too soon versus making yourself available all the time are two different things with different outcomes. I’d rather make myself available too soon and then pull back at times, rathee than make myself available every time he calls.
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
I saw Jurassic World 2 with MFT last night. I honestly could take or leave him at this point. I'd miss him and our conversations but I wouldn't be devastated for long. We're at the point where I'm noticing things about him I don't like and I'm realizing what being in an official relationship with him would be like. :look:
Click to expand...
What did you realize that you didn't like if it's not too personal
 
BrownSkinPoppin said:
So a friend of mine I know from college just graduated with his PhD this past weekend and I flew there for the graduation.

Backstory. I was dating one of his friends in college and that’s how we met. We both liked each other but couldn’t pursue anything since I was dating his friend. We’ve remained friends all these years (going on 10)...even after I stopped dating his friend and left Atl after college. Whenever we visited each other’s cities we would spend time together.

So long story short, while I was out there for the graduation he was so attentive towards me. He told me everyone kept asking if I was his girlfriend. he eventually told me that he still likes me and wants the two of us to date exclusively to see where it leads. I still like him too so I agreed to it, especially since he said he will start applying to jobs where I live.

Soooo yeah. We will see what happens.
Click to expand...

All is still going well. We were in the same city for a week and a half and spent every day together. We believe he’s advanced to the next step for a job in my city so that’s a step In the right direction. He wants to take a vacation in December/January so we’re starting to put money aside for that.

There’s a meme circulating social media that starts with “I got one more relationship left in me.....*I can’t remember how it ends* but that’s honestly where I am right now lol. So I’m really praying on it because I don’t want to waste anymore time on the wrong man
 
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@PrissiSippi

I only made myself available quickly because I'm going out of town for a while and I wanted to see what was up. I for sure know how to pull back.

Today I met a different guy for brunch. We scheduled this around Wednesday. He paid for everything without hesitation and then when we got to the valet, he asked me for my ticket and paid for that as well. He opened doors for me, was polite, and we had good conversation. I've had 3 dates in 4 days.
 
PrissiSippi said:
What did you realize that you didn't like if it's not too personal
Click to expand...
Oh no it’s not lol.

We both have tight knit families which is great but mine has better boundaries than his, which surprised me because I've had to work on setting boundaries. My mom is very clear, she loves her children and will always be there for us but we have to get our own lives and not limit ourselves because of her. MFT's mom is not like that and he feels obligated to take care of her and I'm trying to figure out where his boundaries are. :look: Mental health is a big issue in both our families and for us as individuals and I've done so much work on myself that nothing comes before my wellness. My family experienced the consequences of people not working on themselves mentally and I have no desire to repeat that.

He can also be passive and insecure at times which annoys me. He'll bring up taking our relationship further, like me meeting his sister, and then when I say I'm cool with it he'll back down like "well we don't have to if you're not ready because we are moving slow." I just said I'm fine with it. o_O I'm trying not to let his insecurity fuel insecurity on my part but I pictured myself being with man who is at least a little confident and where we're going and what we're building. :ohwell: The flip side is despite our crazy lives for the moment, he's very excited about our relationship which allows me to set the pace.

So I don't know. I can only wait and see. But these are things that keep me from wanting to take myself off the market entirely.
 
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ArrrBeee said:
He talked about how it's a problem if a woman hasn't offered to pay by the 5th date yet alluded to his great salary.
Click to expand...
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OYCf.gif

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We had a nice discussion yesterday about our future engagement.

I’m entirely too picky to let him pick a ring on his own and he knows it. He asked if I would prefer that he ask with no ring and then we go buy it/have it made together or if we go buy it/have it made and then he proposes.

I don’t care either way, as long as I get what I want and as long as it happens before the end of the year.

He also told me his budget for the ring. Works for me.
 
toaster said:
We had a nice discussion yesterday about our future engagement.

I’m entirely too picky to let him pick a ring on his own and he knows it. He asked if I would prefer that he ask with no ring and then we go buy it/have it made together or if we go buy it/have it made and then he proposes.

I don’t care either way, as long as I get what I want and as long as it happens before the end of the year.

He also told me his budget for the ring. Works for me.
Click to expand...

I’m picky too, but FH loves surprises. So we shopped together and I picked 3 that I loved with the understanding that he would pick one of the three to propose with.
 
So glad that I didn't get wrapped up in the guy that I felt all heady and giddy about! We made plans to meet when I returned from vacation. All of our conversations were normal and above board. Why this fool send me a text so vulgar that I almost dropped my phone when I read it? Then he had the nerve to say someone grabbed his phone and sent it. Talmbout, I don't know what he sent. I'm so embarrassed. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

I politely took a screenshot and circled the offensive remarks and blocked him.
 
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