ClassyJSP
Well-Known Member
smh, I thought so too. Well see how things go tonight but eh, idk.
2018 Relationship And Dating Thread
- Thread starter okange76
- Start date
smh, I thought so too. Well see how things go tonight but eh, idk.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
sarumoki
Epicurean Empress
The other day I was having a really bad day and feeling really down, to the point where I stayed in bed and cried all day. When I spok to my bf about it that evening he made me get out of bed and go have dinner with him. It took us two hours to make it to dinner because I was dragging my feet on getting ready hoping that he'd just let me go home and resume being miserable but he wouldn't let me. I was so mad at him at first, but then I actually ended up having a really great time. I completely forgot about everything that was getting me down, and I'm really glad that I let him drag me out to dinner even though I was really annoyed at the time.
ClassyJSP
Well-Known Member
So...
I leaned all the way back on SO and didn't entertain/talk to him until Friday. When I say I didn't entertain him I didn't call, text or speak to him when I got off work. Well Friday night when I got home he was in here cooking dinner, picked up my favorite wine, had music playing, etc.
We spoke briefly about what happened and he apologized so I kept it moving. All weekend he's been hanging out with me and my mom, fixing stuff around the house, etc.
I feel like I need to lean back more often whenever we get into an argument because clearly that's what he responds to.
I leaned all the way back on SO and didn't entertain/talk to him until Friday. When I say I didn't entertain him I didn't call, text or speak to him when I got off work. Well Friday night when I got home he was in here cooking dinner, picked up my favorite wine, had music playing, etc.
We spoke briefly about what happened and he apologized so I kept it moving. All weekend he's been hanging out with me and my mom, fixing stuff around the house, etc.
I feel like I need to lean back more often whenever we get into an argument because clearly that's what he responds to.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
I seriously found out by accident!It was really random. I was talking to my friend about our phones and Waldo on Google maps (anybody seen this?) and she started telling me about how her Google calendar has decorative backgrounds that match the description of the event. Mine isn't doing that yet!
lol so she sent me some screen shots of her calendar to show me. And I saw "qchelles surprise bridal shower" in 1 lol. I didn't say anything and she didn't either lol. She did gasp tho,.... before i saw it.... then I saw it and assumed that's why she gasped lol. It was a mistake.
The shower was really nice. My mom proved she's in the FBI cuz she was able to invite all of my friends and close acquaintances...some of whom I hadn't seen in years lol. Got nice lingerie and some dollaz.
Our ceremony was fantastic! Small, fast, informal just how we wanted it. It was at the Annapolis courthouse. Our photographer was so much better than our engagement photographer. (Our engagement photographer really sucked lol) I rented my dress from www.renttherunway.com. I'd recommend!
We had our reception this past weekend and that was nice, too. It was at a restaurant in Annapolis, nice waterfront view. DH was in charge of the music and had on 2 chainz pandora station
We invited our friends over to our house afterward and had a lil party with drinks and edibles and card games. Of course DH passed out at 9pm and everyone left smh he can never hang.
prettyinpurple
Well-Known Member
Yay and congrats! I"m glad that you guys had the ceremony that you wanted.The shower was really nice. My mom proved she's in the FBI cuz she was able to invite all of my friends and close acquaintances...some of whom I hadn't seen in years lol. Got nice lingerie and some dollaz.
Our ceremony was fantastic! Small, fast, informal just how we wanted it. It was at the Annapolis courthouse. Our photographer was so much better than our engagement photographer. (Our engagement photographer really sucked lol) I rented my dress from www.renttherunway.com. I'd recommend!
We had our reception this past weekend and that was nice, too. It was at a restaurant in Annapolis, nice waterfront view. DH was in charge of the music and had on 2 chainz pandora station
I said "aww" when you said "our house". Love it
007PMP
INTJ
Update: The Victim Roster is at 15 
I’ve been a busy bee...
V 1 and 2 were cut after 2 dates (each), as they both fell outside of my long term relationship strategic plan. No sex but in person chemistry from my perspective was lackluster upon meeting.
So right now the list is V1-15 and Ill update later with some VERY high level specs and rankings (based upon job, education, personality, chemistry, and appearance).
I have a date tonight with one of the new V’s, we’ll call him V2, (former navy seal)
Wednesday - date with V5
Friday - date with another V (he might be a 8)
V4 in my complex is a nice guy but during our brunch (first date) he revealed he is newly separated so I was like oh okay but in my mind he goes down to the bottom of the list (no weekdays, Saturday or dinner dates just Sunday breakfast or brunch 2 hour max).
I had a really good evening happy hour date with V3— he’s very sensible and mature. We dined for 5 hours and talked about a second date.
I feel like I need a spreadsheet.
I’ve been a busy bee...V 1 and 2 were cut after 2 dates (each), as they both fell outside of my long term relationship strategic plan. No sex but in person chemistry from my perspective was lackluster upon meeting.
So right now the list is V1-15 and Ill update later with some VERY high level specs and rankings (based upon job, education, personality, chemistry, and appearance).
I have a date tonight with one of the new V’s, we’ll call him V2, (former navy seal)
Wednesday - date with V5
Friday - date with another V (he might be a 8)
V4 in my complex is a nice guy but during our brunch (first date) he revealed he is newly separated so I was like oh okay but in my mind he goes down to the bottom of the list (no weekdays, Saturday or dinner dates just Sunday breakfast or brunch 2 hour max).
I had a really good evening happy hour date with V3— he’s very sensible and mature. We dined for 5 hours and talked about a second date.
I feel like I need a spreadsheet.
SpiritJunkie
Well-Known Member
Some great movements happening in here....congrats ladies!!!
my update:
2 new prospects...had a date with one yesterday...went very well..he looked better than his pics...that was a surprise..usually it is the other way around. A gentleman...we have another date coming up
#2 is out of town ...coool dude
i had a 3rd but he was not good with conversation so he got dropped..
my update:
2 new prospects...had a date with one yesterday...went very well..he looked better than his pics...that was a surprise..usually it is the other way around. A gentleman...we have another date coming up
#2 is out of town ...coool dude
i had a 3rd but he was not good with conversation so he got dropped..
007PMP
INTJ
Nice! *high five*
007PMP
INTJ
So...this date was amaz’ing. Ya’ll know I’m a sucker for a Gemini and I found out he’s a gem. I wanted to grope him after he walked me to my car...I kept it in and gave him a hug. We’re going on a second date — a day of wine tasting.
LAWD!!! That’s all imma say! Hopefully things continue to be good as they were tonight. Chemistry off the charts, we talked all night, and he was very upfront about what he’s looking for. His statement was he’ll compete because he knows I’m getting flooded with messages. I said “just a few”
LAWD!!! That’s all imma say! Hopefully things continue to be good as they were tonight. Chemistry off the charts, we talked all night, and he was very upfront about what he’s looking for. His statement was he’ll compete because he knows I’m getting flooded with messages. I said “just a few”
BrownSkinPoppin
formerly NaturallyBri87
annoyed.
So my friend has a very handsome friend who I hit it off with. Friend asked if we could go out sometime just the two of us..all that good stuff.
Another friend (male) tells him how my booty has gotten so much bigger since college. So I walk away because I wasn’t gonna engage in that. Maybe like 15 min later dude is talkin about my butt and how it’s nice blah blah blah. Then he asks if I wanna go to another spot...then spend the night and he’ll sleep on the couch. Rolls eyes.
Uugghhh. Why do our men have to do the most so soon.
So my friend has a very handsome friend who I hit it off with. Friend asked if we could go out sometime just the two of us..all that good stuff.
Another friend (male) tells him how my booty has gotten so much bigger since college. So I walk away because I wasn’t gonna engage in that. Maybe like 15 min later dude is talkin about my butt and how it’s nice blah blah blah. Then he asks if I wanna go to another spot...then spend the night and he’ll sleep on the couch. Rolls eyes.
Uugghhh. Why do our men have to do the most so soon.
BrownSkinPoppin
formerly NaturallyBri87
This guy is canceled. We had been consistently hanging out and talking so I felt comfortable going to his house so we could ride together for our date. Plus I found out that he knows my cousin from high school and my cousin confirmed that he’s a decent guy.
Anyway. We get back to his house after the date and he starts talkin about how he wants to eat me out. Uugghhh. So I’m like nah I’m calling it a night. He wouldn’t let it go. Smh.
Maybe I’m ruthless but I cancel guys who do this in the early stages. I just feel like at 30+ we shouldn’t be acting like horny teenagers with someone you’ve known for less than a month.
007PMP
INTJ
Ohhh hail no. I completely understand why you would be disappointed and upset. Like crawl before walking....something men have a hard time doing when they see a woman they like. Unacceptable on all accounts.
ClassyJSP
Well-Known Member
The shower was really nice. My mom proved she's in the FBI cuz she was able to invite all of my friends and close acquaintances...some of whom I hadn't seen in years lol. Got nice lingerie and some dollaz.
Our ceremony was fantastic! Small, fast, informal just how we wanted it. It was at the Annapolis courthouse. Our photographer was so much better than our engagement photographer. (Our engagement photographer really sucked lol) I rented my dress from www.renttherunway.com. I'd recommend!
We had our reception this past weekend and that was nice, too. It was at a restaurant in Annapolis, nice waterfront view. DH was in charge of the music and had on 2 chainz pandora station
Congrats @qchelle !!!!!!
007PMP
INTJ
@BrownSkinPoppin
Cancel worthy for sure. I find that men who jump straight to the nookie talk with no self control tend to be whorish in the way they think and interact with people. Period.
I’ve also found that it doesn’t get any better the older they get either....the men with a sense of maturity take some time to find but they’re out there so keep going and continue to be proficient as you have been.
So I have a little thing I do (its a behavior mod and screening tool): All men upon first meet get my google number. No exceptions and I tell them this upfront.
It’s like a virtual ual gate. The men who just want sex, they will say crap like “oh why I gotta go through XYZ to get to you? Thats crazy”
In which case I kindly listen and let them talk themselves into a hole. Case closed. Bye.
The men who are patient accept my condition and I’ve found that over a period of initial talking, are more attentive—they want my personal number aka “a prize”. After we meet and if the first date goes well, I sometimes will send a Thank you text from my real number. They act like they passed a test.
Now with the guys I’m really impressed by our based upon our first date, I will wait on the thank you text. BUT here’s what happens: the guy will end up sending me a thank you text and express their hopes for winning my number. Character checkpint here: how patient, visionary, and secure is he? Will he only ask if he made the cut or will he mention having another date with the intentions of at some point getting the personal number. *I have 3 men who fall in this category now*.
Now one of the guys I met (no first date yet—he’s out of town for some weeks), shot himself in the foot by getting upset because I didn’t respond to his text and phone call at the time he wanted. Then sends me a nasty gram ending in a “wish you well”. I dont even respond. Then this morning he sends me a “hey beautiful”... I told him I dont deal with impatient people, so he should move onto the next woman.
Cancel worthy for sure. I find that men who jump straight to the nookie talk with no self control tend to be whorish in the way they think and interact with people. Period.
I’ve also found that it doesn’t get any better the older they get either....the men with a sense of maturity take some time to find but they’re out there so keep going and continue to be proficient as you have been.
So I have a little thing I do (its a behavior mod and screening tool): All men upon first meet get my google number. No exceptions and I tell them this upfront.
It’s like a virtual ual gate. The men who just want sex, they will say crap like “oh why I gotta go through XYZ to get to you? Thats crazy”
In which case I kindly listen and let them talk themselves into a hole. Case closed. Bye. The men who are patient accept my condition and I’ve found that over a period of initial talking, are more attentive—they want my personal number aka “a prize”. After we meet and if the first date goes well, I sometimes will send a Thank you text from my real number. They act like they passed a test.
Now with the guys I’m really impressed by our based upon our first date, I will wait on the thank you text. BUT here’s what happens: the guy will end up sending me a thank you text and express their hopes for winning my number. Character checkpint here: how patient, visionary, and secure is he? Will he only ask if he made the cut or will he mention having another date with the intentions of at some point getting the personal number. *I have 3 men who fall in this category now*.
Now one of the guys I met (no first date yet—he’s out of town for some weeks), shot himself in the foot by getting upset because I didn’t respond to his text and phone call at the time he wanted. Then sends me a nasty gram ending in a “wish you well”. I dont even respond. Then this morning he sends me a “hey beautiful”... I told him I dont deal with impatient people, so he should move onto the next woman.
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
@qchelleThe shower was really nice. My mom proved she's in the FBI cuz she was able to invite all of my friends and close acquaintances...some of whom I hadn't seen in years lol. Got nice lingerie and some dollaz.
Our ceremony was fantastic! Small, fast, informal just how we wanted it. It was at the Annapolis courthouse. Our photographer was so much better than our engagement photographer. (Our engagement photographer really sucked lol) I rented my dress from www.renttherunway.com. I'd recommend!
We had our reception this past weekend and that was nice, too. It was at a restaurant in Annapolis, nice waterfront view. DH was in charge of the music and had on 2 chainz pandora station
I'm so over the moon happy for you! CONGRATULATIONS!
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
BrownSkinPoppin
formerly NaturallyBri87
hopeful
Well-Known Member
. 
SurferBabe
Well-Known Member
007PMP
INTJ
Soooooooo.....Guess who calls me this morning? Le sigh...
Beta Beau.
We haven’t talked in a few weeks almost a month maybe. His first words after I said “hello” was “I miss you, we have something unique, can’t we go back to the drawing board and fix whatever the issue was”.
My right brain is thinking: Hmmm, no one to milk your prostate huh? Welcome back to the trap house...(insert evil laugh here)
Left brain: The sex was good but the issues seemed like what could be permenant. Is his ROI high enough to reconsider? And what about the roster?? Some are awaiting patiently.
Le sigh
Beta Beau.
We haven’t talked in a few weeks almost a month maybe. His first words after I said “hello” was “I miss you, we have something unique, can’t we go back to the drawing board and fix whatever the issue was”.
My right brain is thinking: Hmmm, no one to milk your prostate huh? Welcome back to the trap house...(insert evil laugh here)
Left brain: The sex was good but the issues seemed like what could be permenant. Is his ROI high enough to reconsider? And what about the roster?? Some are awaiting patiently.
Le sigh
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
The danger of "It's Cool" is important to note.
I was asked out on date to see the Avengers movie. I said sure. I called that morning around 9 and made sure to ask what was the movie time so I would know what time to be ready. He scoffed like "You must thought it was going to be during the day. It's only two movie times and its about 7 and 10 blah blah. I will figure out what time soon."
Quite annoying but I know him personally and he's not a stranger so I let him make it. So, I didn't press the issue. However, at 6 I asked again what time would be be picking me up. This dude JUST had looked up the official times. Then he hit me with the I'm so sorry the movie is sold out. I should have bought the tickets this morning.
No duhhh Sherlock. I thought you had that covered. This a brand new movie. OH COURSE it's full.
Usually I would have said, "Oh it's fine. It's cool. It's okay honey." But it wasn't okay and it wasn't "fine." I sent back the okay emoji and didn't say anything after that. He messaged me ad nauseum that he was apologetic and he knows he has to make up for this because he shouldn't have made this type of mistake. Glad you know sir. Glad you know.
I think it's important to remember....don't say "It's Okay" when it really isn't "okay".
I was asked out on date to see the Avengers movie. I said sure. I called that morning around 9 and made sure to ask what was the movie time so I would know what time to be ready. He scoffed like "You must thought it was going to be during the day. It's only two movie times and its about 7 and 10 blah blah. I will figure out what time soon."
Quite annoying but I know him personally and he's not a stranger so I let him make it. So, I didn't press the issue. However, at 6 I asked again what time would be be picking me up. This dude JUST had looked up the official times. Then he hit me with the I'm so sorry the movie is sold out. I should have bought the tickets this morning.
No duhhh Sherlock. I thought you had that covered. This a brand new movie. OH COURSE it's full.
Usually I would have said, "Oh it's fine. It's cool. It's okay honey." But it wasn't okay and it wasn't "fine." I sent back the okay emoji and didn't say anything after that. He messaged me ad nauseum that he was apologetic and he knows he has to make up for this because he shouldn't have made this type of mistake. Glad you know sir. Glad you know.
I think it's important to remember....don't say "It's Okay" when it really isn't "okay".
ArrrBeee
Well-Known Member
I wouldn't have called to find out what time the date was. Let them take the lead. He knows he scheduled a date with you and he should have called you with plans. Lean back. Don't ever call to confirm your own date. When he asks why you weren't ready, you tell him, you didn't know the plans (which you didn't).
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
Exactly. I meant to put this in my post as well.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
And he was rude from the get go. You shouldn’t have had to call at 9am or at 6pm. Yes, it’s a no no to not plan ahead and get tickets in advance. But what bothered me more is that 1) he caught an attitude with you when you called and 2) then had the nerve to still not follow up with you in a timely manner and handle business properly. To me this is not about someone who doesn’t plan well or should be allowed to be a man and take the lead, but is a signal to you that 1) he is not taking dating you seriously and 2) is not behaving like an adult.
You learned two lessons: 1) don’t call a man to coordinate and firm up a date that he asked you out on and 2) if you do ask for details you do not deserve for the guy to be snappy or smart with you. You deserve kindness and courtesy, to be treated gently and kindly. And it’s not your job to teach a man how to treat a lady.
Set standards that work for you and stand your ground. I don’t care if he asked you out 2 weeks ago. If plans aren’t firmed up a couple days before I can start making other plans.
SpiritJunkie
Well-Known Member
Just came out of the "Claim you can cook" thread--jokes!! anyway...during the dating phase...if you know you can't cook...are we bringing this up? Or once he is snagged the truth shall be revealed! LOL...
Not saying I can't cook..I can but I don't eat meat anymore and these West Indian men I've been dating are real carnivore's (oxtail/goat/chicken etc etc)...I guess down the road you figure it out.
Anyway that thread had me thinking...and laughing hard of course!
Not saying I can't cook..I can but I don't eat meat anymore and these West Indian men I've been dating are real carnivore's (oxtail/goat/chicken etc etc)...I guess down the road you figure it out.
Anyway that thread had me thinking...and laughing hard of course!
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