2018 Relationship And Dating Thread

So is in here pouting because I didn't go with him to visit his mom in the hospital. I initially told him I would be available but by Saturday night I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it (which I told him). I feel bad she's back in the hospital (we visited her last weekend) but I honestly couldn't make it as I have a lot of my plate right now.

I did send flowers to the hospital last week before our first visit and texted to see how she's doing.
 
Sweetg said:
This online dating thing is too much but I'm sticking to it...Dude #2 asked me out..I said I need to check my calendar so I'll text you my availability.
I text him...stating day that works let me know time and place.
This..&*^ says: I'll see how my days turns out and let you know"

Say what now????! Arghhhhh! He will be advised with an LOL that it;s canceled. SMH

Edited to add:
He called as soon as he got my text to ask why I’m canceling & to explain his text & why he said that..so we’re meeting not cancelled.. I like how he jumped into action .. we shall see
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Be easy :lol: or should I say nonchalant.
 
So I broke up with Betabeau last night....why?

Baby moms drama was on the horizon and I don't want to compete with someone's ex and their child. I love him, BUT we ain't married and this is (for me) more about principle and how one manages their previous relationships.

Soooooo, I did the right thing and cut it off instead of dragging it out because I know me...once I feel like I have to worry about manipulation from the old ex and their kid---I'm out. Dead. Delete.

Kecia007 is back on the market and looking at some vanilla cream for my coffee.

Betabeau is now backseat beau and he said "I knew it was coming and you're a savage. You think too much with your head than your heart". My response--if the shoes were on the other foot you would've dropped me like a bad check. Which is true.
 
hopeful said:
Are you sure it’s your insecurity and not your instincts? Maybe you just need a little space to think things through?
Click to expand...

It is definitely insecurity. Now that I'm focusing on inner growth, so many things from my past that I've repressed are coming to a head-- and it is time to face them. It's tough, but I know I'll come out stronger in the end. So far I haven't allowed my issues to affect my relationship, but it might be time to see a therapist before it gets to that point.

007PMP said:
Yeah what Hopeful said....what triggers your insecurity?
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I'm used to guys sticking around because they need me for something. This guy doesn't need me, he wants me. I'm so used to having to prove my worth that I can't wrap my head around a guy liking me just for me. I do nothing and yet he sticks around. Having no control gives me so much anxiety. Plus he's so... normal. He's kind, generous, and comes from a great family. We're extremely compatible. I can feel myself pushing him away at times because I have a wall up and I'm scared to get close and be vulnerable. I'm tempted to create drama where there is none. I asked for this type of relationship and now that I have it, I can't believe it is real. I know I have some serious inner work to do.
 
007PMP said:
So I broke up with Betabeau last night....why?

Baby moms drama was on the horizon and I don't want to compete with someone's ex and their child. I love him, BUT we ain't married and this is (for me) more about principle and how one manages their previous relationships.

Soooooo, I did the right thing and cut it off instead of dragging it out because I know me...once I feel like I have to worry about manipulation from the old ex and their kid---I'm out. Dead. Delete.

Kecia007 is back on the market and looking at some vanilla cream for my coffee.

Betabeau is now backseat beau and he said "I knew it was coming and you're a savage. You think too much with your head than your heart". My response--if the shoes were on the other foot you would've dropped me like a bad check. Which is true.
Click to expand...
I've been staying out of here because I'm considering the same thing...
 
NaturallyBri87 said:
Don't see a long term future with either of the two guys I mentioned I went on dates with. One has shown me that he's inconsistent. The other was moving way too fast and it didn't sit well with me.

But I've been actively back on the dating scene so I have a few more in my back pocket that I'm still getting to know.
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Okay so this guy has become more consistent...but every time he makes plans it's always just hanging out at his house. So the first two times I agreed to it if he turned it into a gathering where we both could invite friends because I didn't want to go over there by myself...which he was cool with. Like three weeks ago he invited me over..but this time it was gonna be just us. I didn't end up going. Then the next weekend he invited me over to watch a movie. Didn't end up going because it was on a work night.

I'm trying to think of a nice way to tell him that I'm not trying to hang out at his house. I feel like if I start accepting that now...that's all we're going to be doing.
 
NaturallyBri87 said:
Okay so this guy has become more consistent...but every time he makes plans it's always just hanging out at his house. So the first two times I agreed to it if he turned it into a gathering where we both could invite friends because I didn't want to go over there by myself...which he was cool with. Like three weeks ago he invited me over..but this time it was gonna be just us. I didn't end up going. Then the next weekend he invited me over to watch a movie. Didn't end up going because it was on a work night.

I'm trying to think of a nice way to tell him that I'm not trying to hang out at his house. I feel like if I start accepting that now...that's all we're going to be doing.
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If he's over 25 then this isn't cool and he should've been cut off a long time ago. IMO.
 
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SurferBabe said:
It is definitely insecurity. Now that I'm focusing on inner growth, so many things from my past that I've repressed are coming to a head-- and it is time to face them. It's tough, but I know I'll come out stronger in the end. So far I haven't allowed my issues to affect my relationship, but it might be time to see a therapist before it gets to that point.



I'm used to guys sticking around because they need me for something. This guy doesn't need me, he wants me. I'm so used to having to prove my worth that I can't wrap my head around a guy liking me just for me. I do nothing and yet he sticks around. Having no control gives me so much anxiety. Plus he's so... normal. He's kind, generous, and comes from a great family. We're extremely compatible. I can feel myself pushing him away at times because I have a wall up and I'm scared to get close and be vulnerable. I'm tempted to create drama where there is none. I asked for this type of relationship and now that I have it, I can't believe it is real. I know I have some serious inner work to do.
Click to expand...
I'm in a similar position with one of the men I'm dating. The blue is so true for me, and I struggle with anxiety anyway. I'm not in control with him and more than the others, he has the most potential to hurt me because he gets under my skin but in a good way. For that reason I'm looking for ways to push him away. But he may be the one I actually need. I do nothing and he steps up more than most other men in my life have... at least so far. We'll see. We're still very early in this.

I've been in therapy working on myself for the past two years but the bolded is one thing I still struggle with. I have a tendency to do the purple too.
 
Went to see SO's parents last night and I won't be going back for awhile.

Granted I know she's been in the hospital the last few days and feeling sick but I feel like she uses that as a way to make SO feel bad or feel as if he should be doing more. When I first got there everything was ok for the most part. Then as the conversation started it was well I told so and so you were coming I just didn't know it would be this late probably because you were out with her (her as in me), then it was I need you to go to the store for me and buy x,y,z (SO's father is retired and home all day he also told me she didn't even tell him she needed anything). Then as folks were calling her to check in on her she would say oh SO is here I heard several people ask where I was and in the driest tone ever she would say right here.

Then as SO said we would go to the store for her and another store I wanted to visit (it's the only store in the area otherwise I would've went by myself) she stated don't stay out long you just got here to see your mother. I didn't say anything the whole time I just looked, I didn't even mention anything to SO.

The final straw for me was when we came back to their house. SO went upstairs to get her stuff (again, father was sitting right there) and she turned and asked "did you get water from the store". Now we were the only ones that just came from the store so I thought she was talking to me when I went to answer she said "I'm not talking to you I'm talking to SO's father".

Say no more. I stayed polite the whole time on and off my phone but NOPE. Now sometimes I feel like I'm imagining things but this was CLEAR at least to me.
 
Met a slew of men....but one is standing out (well three).

Victim #1 is super hot in personality and looks. He has that beta-dom personality that I like. 41, in an IT Management position, no kids, never married, outgoing and assertive. Gemini (my fav). White.

Victim #2 is intellectually attractive more than physical. He’s like a 7/10. Engineer, 40, 1 kid, divorced. Funny and flirty. He’s an alpha for sure but laid back. Aquarius (good match but too airy). Black.

Victim #3 is a complete alpha and extrovert. VERY outgoing and arrogant. 44 about to retire (military), no kids, a talker, and very good with his words. We can talk for hours on end. Black. This guy I blocked initially and then in blocked him to see how interested he was—it worked.

Plans:
When I get back from Germany:

V#1 has already made plans for our date—place and activity. In fact, he gave an order that it happen within so many days of my return—so of course I have to comply.

V#2 has hinted but nothing firm.

V#3 insisted that I bring him a cup back (yes a cup) and used that as an excuse for us to go out for drinks.

Hmm really digging V1 so I hope he turns out to be the good guy I suspected.
 
sarumoki said:
Say what? :lol: You like them?
Click to expand...

Yeah I lurve gems. We’re like the same — dual personalities (good/bad), intellectually mysterious, weird, random and laid back—lets just go with the flow. They are probably the most sexiest I’ve dated.

A gem and I can be in the same room and laugh about the same thing without stating. It’s just weird and I know they’re worlds most hated :lol: and hard to catch some times, but I’ve dated enough to know how to catch and keep them (then release them like farrel cats).

Also they get distracted by shiny little objects, which works with my dora the explorer ways.
 
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