Would you date a man with no college education?

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petiteNunique

New Member
If you earned a college degree, would you date men who only have a degree? WHat about if you were in med school...would you date someone without a bachelor's degree?
 
A college degree doesn't make a man, but I will admit I prefer a man who is on my level. Therefore since I went to college, have a bachelor, and am working on my masters...I would expect my SO to at least have a bachelor's. He would have to be one heck of a man for me to look over that. Why should I have to lower my standards to raise yours?

A guy here told me that that's why I'm single. If I'm looking for a man for a college degree, that is very short-sighted and bougey of me because there are many men without college degrees that are great men to be in a relationship with. He said, "College is not for everyone."

I don't think college is for everyone too, but I personally believe that for the man I choose to be in a relationship with...COLLEGE WILL be for them. :giggle:.
 
Once he has a career and is a hard worker it really doesn't matter to me if he went to college or not. Some people go to trade school, the military, etc. instead of going to get a degree.
 
A college degree doesn't make a man but education is really important to me. Forget college, I'm kinda hesitant to date someone without a graduate degree. Most if not all the adults in my family's circle have one. I'm studying for 2 graduate degrees and my one of my BFFs who's also doing the same thing and I have a saying "We're not busting our butts getting 2 degrees to get with a guy who doesn't at least have 1."
 
SimpleKomplexity said:
A college degree doesn't make a man, but I will admit I prefer a man who is on my level. Therefore since I went to college, have a bachelor, and am working on my masters...I would expect my SO to at least have a bachelor's. He would have to be one heck of a man for me to look over that. Why should I have to lower my standards to raise yours?

A guy here told me that that's why I'm single. If I'm looking for a man for a college degree, that is very short-sighted and bougey of me because there are many men without college degrees that are great men to be in a relationship with. He said, "College is not for everyone."

I don't think college is for everyone too, but I personally believe that for the man I choose to be in a relationship with...COLLEGE WILL be for them. :giggle:.
Click to expand...

Side eye to the bolded as I marry my honey (doctor and black). Just like there are good men w/o degrees there are good men with degrees (black or white cause no one's saying I only date black but I always dated a guy who has at least stepped foot in college period. (The only exception is when I was under 18 because I wasn't in college yet and even then my boyfriend my senior year was a freshman in college and was black lol!).

Here's the problem with his stuff...if he's confident why does he have to call you bougey for having standards? He should be okay with that, as it's what you want. Just as I'm sure he's okay with what he wants in a relationship and won't compromise. We're talking about deal breakers (certain standards that we all look for in relationships but vary from person to person). But really that shows he has an insecurity in reference to black women seeking out men who have gone the education route.

I agree with you as for me, the man for me is going to be educated or else what was the point of the civil rights movement and all the advantages it afforded our people to be able to finally advance in society on equal footing...at least in theory?

My grandmother and grandfather did not go through all they did for me to date a guy who sits on his laurels and says he doesn't need school. No the guy for me wants to work hard in school (not just athletically or artistically...and I'm an artist so I value art too) because he knows that we have opportunities that our grand parents (or parents for some) could only dream about in this Country.

I want a guy who recognizes that and seizes the opportunities and most importantly uses his brain. I think college gives so many advantages besides education: exposure to other thoughts, cultures, couple that with studying giving you critical and long term thinking skills that can help in life. Which is why studies show (I placed them in another thread) that the older you are (after 25) and the more educated, there's only a small chance of divorce (the rates of divorce jump even more substantially if you marry in your late twenties to less than 18 percent of divorce in some studies and even as small as 13 percent in others...all the way down to 8 percent depending on level of education and age of marriage). Compare that to studies of younger, or less educated and the figures jump to almost fifty percent. So why wouldn't I want those advantages for my marriage, and kids? Call me bougie too:grin:
 
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TamedTresses said:
Once he has a career and is a hard worker it really doesn't matter to me if he went to college or not. Some people go to trade school, the military, etc. instead of going to get a degree.
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My brother is in the military but he's getting his education through the military because we were taught to value it. Not to knock trade schools either. BUT I think it puts our community at a disadvantage to not encourage education (in men).

I do not think it makes him less a man. BUT I do think that the opportunities that were created by those who came before us, should be noted and seized. I understand why Bill Cosby walks around ranting and ravning:lol:. Wouldn't you if you bussed your but in sit ins (possibly got arrested but not for doing anything wrong, just for demanding equal rights) meanwhile the next generation does absolutely nothing with the advantages created?

I look at it from that standpoint. There are scholarships if you study hard. My fiance's parents are immigrants. He lived in the poorest neighborhoods in NY because that's all they could afford as they came here with nothing. He told me how his "friends" of youth picked on him for staying in studying instead of running the streets. They're in jail, he's a doctor. There has to be a point where we start to strive for education period.

I realize that others won't go that route (jail) and that it's not the only option of jail or college. It is okay to go to trade schools. BUT I just feel like we don't even try as a community to strive for more (at least on the male part) for more (we give them a pass and in return they scold us for being bougey despite the fact that we've surpassed them in education and just want an equal counterpart...someone who values education and the opportunities afforded just as a lot of the women have....). I don't know of any other culture that tells their women that they are "bougey" for wanting an educated guy:look:
 
I would prefer it very much for the same reason why employers like you to have a degree..it shows certain desireable qualities.I don't believe a man having a degree makes him special nor do I feel special by having 2.But I would want a man who is money motivated and if thats not with a degree than a high ranking military man or a business owner..
 
luckiestdestiny said:
My brother is in the military but he's getting his education through the military because we were taught to value it. Not to knock trade schools either. BUT I think it puts our community at a disadvantage to not encourage education (in men).

I do not think it makes him less a man. BUT I do think that the opportunities that were created by those who came before us, should be noted and seized. I understand why Bill Cosby walks around ranting and ravning:lol:. Wouldn't you if you bussed your but in sit ins (possibly got arrested but not for doing anything wrong, just for demanding equal rights) meanwhile the next generation does absolutely nothing with the advantages created?

I look at it from that standpoint. There are scholarships if you study hard. My fiance's parents are immigrants. He lived in the poorest neighborhoods in NY because that's all they could afford as they came here with nothing. He told me how his "friends" of youth picked on him for staying in studying instead of running the streets. They're in jail, he's a doctor. There has to be a point where we start to strive for education period.

I realize that others won't go that route (jail) and that it's not the only option of jail or college. It is okay to go to trade schools. BUT I just feel like we don't even try as a community to strive for more (at least on the male part) for more (we give them a pass and in return they scold us for being bougey despite the fact that we've surpassed them in education and just want an equal counterpart...someone who values education and the opportunities afforded just as a lot of the women have....). I don't know of any other culture that tells their women that they are "bougey" for wanting an educated guy:look:
Click to expand...

You went off on a little tangent there, huh? :look:

All I'm saying is that college isn't for everyone. A college degree is a means to an end, and some people choose a different route.
 
luckiestdestiny said:
Side eye to the bolded as I marry my honey (doctor and black). Just like there are good men w/o degrees there are good men with degrees (black or white cause no one's saying I only date black but I always dated a guy who has at least stepped foot in college period. (The only exception is when I was under 18 because I wasn't in college yet and even then my boyfriend my senior year was a freshman in college and was black lol!).

Here's the problem with his stuff...if he's confident why does he have to call you bougey for having standards? He should be okay with that, as it's what you want. Just as I'm sure he's okay with what he wants in a relationship and won't compromise. We're talking about deal breakers (certain standards that we all look for in relationships but vary from person to person). But really that shows he has an insecurity in reference to black women seeking out men who have gone the education route.

I agree with you as for me, the man for me is going to be educated or else what was the point of the civil rights movement and all the advantages it afforded our people to be able to finally advance in society on equal footing...at least in theory?

My grandmother and grandfather did not go through all they did for me to date a guy who sits on his laurels and says he doesn't need school. No the guy for me wants to work hard in school (not just athletically or artistically...and I'm an artist so I value art too) because he knows that we have opportunities that our grand parents (or parents for some) could only dream about in this Country.

I want a guy who recognizes that and seizes the opportunities and most importantly uses his brain. I think college gives so many advantages besides education: exposure to other thoughts, cultures, couple that with studying giving you critical and long term thinking skills that can help in life. Which is why studies show (I placed them in another thread) that the older you are (after 25) and the more educated, there's only a small chance of divorce (the rates of divorce jump even more substantially if you marry in your late twenties to less than 18 percent of divorce in some studies and even as small as 13 percent in others...all the way down to 8 percent depending on level of education and age of marriage). Compare that to studies of younger, or less educated and the figures jump to almost fifty percent. So why wouldn't I want those advantages for my marriage, and kids? Call me bougie too:grin:
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smacks lips** grrrrrlllllllllllll u got urself a dakta!!!!:grin:
 
I didn't mind my FI not having his Bachelor's degree yet because he started going to school while I had not graduated yet. Had he not been interested in potentially improving his life (therefore ours), I would not have given him much of my time.
It may sound harsh, but when you are focused on improving yourself, you also expect your mate or potential husband to do his best to match your effort. Does it mean he has to have a PhD or be a doctor/lawyer? Not to me, at least. But having standards doesn't mean you are bougie. It simply means that YOU know what YOU want.
 
TamedTresses said:
You went off on a little tangent there, huh? :look:

All I'm saying is that college isn't for everyone. A college degree is a means to an end, and some people choose a different route.
Click to expand...
i think higher education is much more than a means to an end:look:
 
Kurlee said:
i think higher education is much more than a means to an end:look:
Click to expand...

"In philosophy, the term means to an end refers to any action (the means) which the sole purpose of is to achieve something else (an end)."

Going to get a degree is a means to an end. You go to medical school to become a doctor. You go to law school to become a lawyer. Most people go to college so they can get the skills necessary to succeed in their chosen career.
 
Depends on other factors. One of my guy friends who I think is quite the catch did not graduate from college, but he is one of the wisest, most intellectual, and well read of all my friends....hands down. He also has a high status career, a plum position, and works in a very prestigous organization. We've been friends too long to be anything other then friends but he is definitely a catch.

I also know men who didn't go to college, who don't have big money jobs, but who are amazingly good men who are building lives for themselves.

I've always found this notion that getting your card stamped at college as some kind of seal of approval faulty. Plenty of college grads are dumb as gum and chronically unemployed and lot's of dropouts aren't.
 
ambergirl said:
Plenty of college grads are dumb as gum and chronically unemployed and lot's of dropouts aren't.
Click to expand...

:yep: I have found this to be true as well. I know a lot of intellectual people who did not attend college and some very ignorant people with a degree hanging on their wall.
 
A man has to be on my level intellectually. He can be in the process, or be successful without it. The only thing I care about is not paying for his degree myself.
 
ambergirl said:
Depends on other factors. One of my guy friends who I think is quite the catch did not graduate from college, but he is one of the wisest, most intellectual, and well read of all my friends....hands down. He also has a high status career, a plum position, and works in a very prestigous organization. We've been friends too long to be anything other then friends but he is definitely a catch.

I also know men who didn't go to college, who don't have big money jobs, but who are amazingly good men who are building lives for themselves.

I've always found this notion that getting your card stamped at college as some kind of seal of approval faulty. Plenty of college grads are dumb as gum and chronically unemployed and lot's of dropouts aren't.
Click to expand...

I agree with a lot you're saying. Like for instance there are dumb grads. But there are also dumb non grads as well.

I do agree there are exceptions to the rule like your friend. BUT I think in that case then he's highly intelligent and can lead in stimulating conversations: and working for a prestigious organization he's probably simulated a college experience (being exposed to other groups, cultures, thoughts, and being challenge intellectually).

My only prob I have is the guys who say you don't NEED college. I'm not walking around stating that others NEED it. I have my views, I don't need to defend them. But guys like this are quick to tell you that you are bougie for seeking someone who craves knowledge. What's the point of all of that? TO me that seems like an insecurity to bring someone down a peg or two (by attacking their requirements for a mate).

I do think exceptions exist like you mention, though.
 
TamedTresses said:
You went off on a little tangent there, huh? :look:

All I'm saying is that college isn't for everyone. A college degree is a means to an end, and some people choose a different route.
Click to expand...
Don't I always:grin:. But I have some valid points. I agree college isn't for everyone but I think (my point) I'm trying to say is that education should be something to strive for as too many people fought for opportunities that are easily tossed aside by this generation. That's why I want an educated man and why it's my preference (just as you have yours too).

And it's not to knock those who aren't, but there are good men who are educated and not. And there are stupid educated, and non educated men.

And I want one who values education AND is intelligent(that's all).
 
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Yeah his intellectual level is definitely WAY, WAY more important than education level..Someone that challenges themselves intellectually MIGHT feel that getting a college degree is desirable but not always! There are just many things that you can never learn in college without self education and as someone already said, there are so many idiots in colleges who don't really challenge themselves in any way. It's 100% not a deal breaker and it's always been an odd notion to me that it would be but hey, everyone has their own preferences.
 
I would and I am..I only have an associate degree anyway but he had enough of the other qualities I wanted.

I would say there is probably never a real disadvantage to dating someone with a degree while there can be many for someone without.
 
luckiestdestiny said:
Don't I always:grin:. But I have some valid points. I agree college isn't for everyone but I think (my point) I'm trying to say is that education should be something to strive for as too many people fought for opportunities that are easily tossed aside by this generation. That's why I want an educated man and why it's my preference (just as you have yours too).

And it's not to knock those who aren't, but there are good men who are educated and not. And there are stupid educated, and non educated men.

And I want one who values education (that's all).
Click to expand...

I hear you. I'm not knocking your preference. I agree that you have some valid points. I also agree that education is something to strive towards, but everyone isn't going to strive towards it. :ohwell:

I still believe that getting a degree is a means to an end. I don't know anyone who would invest $50,000, $100,000 or even upwards of $200,000 AND sacrifice so much time without expecting a return on investment.
 
Well, I met my dh in high school, so I don't think my parents would have let me date a college grad at the time...:grin:

However, this question gave me some food for thought. I have a degree, but my dh is currently working on his. He has qualities that are much more important:

  • He's responsible - when I got pregnant, he didn't head for the hills. We worked together and took care of our child.
  • He's driven - I don't have to motivate him to go after promotions or get a better career. He's doing that all on his own. In his words 'enough is never enough' when it comes to moving up the career ladder and making money.
  • He's dependable - when he says he's going to do something, he does it - every time.

As I'm typing this, he's on his computer doing a homework assignment. He is taking his courses back to back so he can complete his degree faster and keep on moving up at work. Again, I didn't push him to get his degree, he's doing this all on his own. Gotta love him! :yep:

After saying all that I will say this - if I had to date someone right now, I would not date a man without a degree. Sorry, I'm not in high school anymore.......
 
Yes, I would. A degree doesn't matter to me. As long as he is intelligent, hardworking, and honest I couldn't care less about a degree.
 
Honey Bee said:
Nah, son. :ohwell:
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I agree.

I'm sorry, I haven't encountered a lot of men who did not graduate from college who could hold an intelligent conversation. Granted, college doesn't mean you're intelligent, but I like going in on a wide variety of subjects. And I'm surrounded by college educated men, so...
 
TamedTresses said:
"In philosophy, the term means to an end refers to any action (the means) which the sole purpose of is to achieve something else (an end)."

Going to get a degree is a means to an end. You go to medical school to become a doctor. You go to law school to become a lawyer. Most people go to college so they can get the skills necessary to succeed in their chosen career.
Click to expand...
:rolleyes: you know what i mean
 
OP, is this still about the guy you are with? If so I wish you would ask it all at once and give people the full picture: Would you date an uneducated man (who promised to go back to school but won't), who prefers white women over black, thinks black women are gold-diggers, smokes weed all day, has a 7 year-old bi-racial daughter he just found out about, but treats you nicely so long as you don't bring up topics he doesn't want to discuss?
 
^^^Woah woah...is this about that other thread and that particular guy who hates black women!? I thought this was a hypothetical? Because then my answer changes (to heck to the heeeeeyaaalllll no under any circumstances emphatically exclamation point).
 
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