At what age should a man be established?

[~~HoneyComb~~]

It's a whole bunch of men out there looking for a smart, educated hard working woman to support them. It sounds like your man is one of them OP.

OP be careful, you have a lot of good advice of it this thread, there was a reason you started this thread--you'd didn't feel good with you're situation and you had every right to.

I think you know you need to leave, but like a lot of women, you're afraid of leaving him and hurting his feelings.

Part of a healthy marriage is great communication. You're not even married to him and according to you whenever you bring something up about his situation, he shuts you down

The only thing this man is afraid of is losing his meal ticket which is you.

 

[joyous]

Ok guys, so i was talking to him about his plans for the future today, and he was saying that he wants us to get married this upcoming summer. I told him that i think we should hold of on the wedding until he, then i said we, are a little more established. He became really upset. He said that he bet if he were a millionaire, i wouldn't be saying this. I told him that he doesn't have to be making a million dollars, i just want him to be a little more established first. He said that there is another woman out there that will take him like he is.

Of course he wants to get married, so you can take care of him, heard it all before. Sounds like the typical game plan to me. If he was such a good man he would make sure he has a positive plan mapped out and doing something to reach that goal so he could support you. That's what "good men" do to make sure they can support their families.

I know two sisters who married men with pipe dreams that never came to fruition. Both were the breadwinner; one is still married and has been taking care of this man for twenty years, the other got divorced and is paying the bum half of her paycheck in alimony. Sorry to say but that sounds like what he is setting you up for. These ladies have given you sound advice, but it sounds like your making excuses to stay. Start thinking about your own dreams and stop worrying about his.

 

[asakeba]

I understand where you're coming from but I still think oh well. This whole staying with someone because what if...doesn't bode well with me. You stay because you're secure, you stay because you feel comfortable, you stay because you wouldn't have it any other way. You stay because you feel confident in your relationship, and partnership as a couple. And you marry because you mesh well in ways that are important from ethics, to beliefs about life, levels of ambition, and other things that are on your "must list", as well as things like agreeing on how you raise children, and just plain being confident in your man enough to know he'll be a good father and husband and that you're already starting out on a good (non doubtful) foot.

For those who left Sam, whose to say whether their life would be better or not. His money says nothing about his character, or anything. I recall reading someonewhere that he had a ton of issues including drug troubles, etc so I'd be like good riddens to that anyways lol! I know that's off the subject but...really I don't think she should wait on a lottery ticket because of fear of "what if he's a winner (down the line)?... So why stay? I think stay 1) if you believe in him 2)if you believe he has ambition and is going to find a way to make things happen because he's going to need it just to raise a family...what happens when you have a problem? Is he going to wax poetic or find a way to solve it? Or should you do everything for him? 3) Stay if he has plans, or is in the process of evolving plans 4) Stay if you're okay with those plans. If those plans don't mesh with what she wants then that's a deal breaker. Money does not solve ethical dilemmas for instance.


Only toss that lottery ticket if she's willing to be okay with the consequences of if she loses. I use that analogy because some one will win...it's just a matter of crossing the fingers. But it may not be her man.

In the case of old boy though, it's not like he's coming to her for help, or seeking help elsewhere to formulate his plans...and when she brings it up, he's resistant.

So really I'm thinking he doesn't really want to do anything (it's all talk). Because what kinda guy starts asking about marriage when you're trying to tell him you're worried about where he's headed? What kind of sense does that make? If he really wanted to show that he's husband material he would've said, "You're right. Let's talk about how I can take some steps. I have no idea...maybe I should do some research...can you help me. Then maybe after I start laying some ground work we can get married. I'd like that if you want to." Instead it's more like

Her: hey hun we need to talk about where you're headed I'm worried about your future and as a consequence ours.

Him: Marry me.

Her: Huh?

Him:Marry me.

Her: Uhm...I think we should work on having direction first--

Him: You'd marry me if I were a millionaire!

Her: What?

Him: Another woman would take me just as I am.


Okay I wasn't there but that's basically how my brain sums up the interaction...but you get the point. Not only is he unsure of himself but he's deluded. Does he really think marriage will solve everything? Yeah this whole save a man thing and carry him over the finish line I'm not down with. NOW if he wanted to save himself, and needed help getting there that's one thing. But I don't think he's going anytime soon.

Meanwhile I think it's up to her to decide if he's the one for her.

And I don't recall the name of the other poster who mentioned the preacher but the guy was 22. Even if he took four years, he was 26 no biggie and he was in school (switching majors happens often at least he was searching for where he wanted to go and he was relatively young) and eventually had an idea of what he wanted to do...and was making steps to make it happen. This guy seems lost. He's not in school. He's not working a steady job. He's talking lofty and wanting to lock down someone without a clue as to how to pull his share in the relationship, nor does he want to talk about it. It's not like he said, "I'm in school for business" or "I'm going to intern at Sony and work my way up like pdiddy" or whatever. Or even "I need help! I need some guidance, I'm going to find it". No instead he does odd jobs, and gets mad when things are brought up.

I feel sorry for him, but I'd feel worse if she married him, resented him, and had to divorce. And yes this fairytale could work out....I'm sure it's possible and I think that's what she has to be willing to decide. Will she wait around for a miracle, or not.

And I also think she has to be willing to walk and not regret her decision even if he becomes the next pdiddy! Like oh well he wasn't ready for me when I was ready for him, we were on different tracks. And I'm fine now and I'm with a man who was ready when I was ready (or willing to get ready).

I don't fundamentally disagree with you, I just think it's too easy for us to advise women to leave their man, especially when we don't have all the necessary details. I think most relationships can be worked on, so long as you have a goal in site and a date for achieving those goals. I'd never advise someone to stay in a relationship on the basis of empty promises, she needs to see plans and a willingness from him that he is willing to do what he needs to do to keep a quality woman as herself. Other than that, we're in agreement

 

[CarmelCupcake]

ok so I was on my gf comp and this page was up......so I read some post and came accross this one. First off I must say f&(k each and everyone of you that said I am on a pipe dream. You never once asked what I (the bf) have done to this point to pursue my dream, all yall did was assume, we knows what happens when that happens.
First off let me give you a background on me, Im a United States Army Vet, I have a commercial drivers license CLASS A, and I am a certified broadband technition (So I can ALWAYS FIND A JOB). I worked in an entry level position for a fortune 500 utility company, and I was unionized so I had some seniority. It was an entry level position ($30k range) so I was not balling but on the way to it. I had my own house, car, and a job with advancment opportunity. I injured myself while I was at work on city property. I injured my back and tore my shoulder up pretty bad and needed surgury. I have not been able to work due to the advice of my lawyer and the ongoing lawsuits. Im not one to sit back and do nothing, so while i was in overwhelming amounts of pain I STARTED my production company (which was never supported by my gf). I had a 1000 sq ft studio that facilitated video and recording productions, that I opened with an associate. I put in all the work and paid all the bills to find my business partner cleans the studio out of ALL the equiptment with out telling me. I had to close up shop so I could repurchase all of my equiptment, tens of thousands of dollars worth. Which I did, and actually replaced it with better equiptment. While I was doing so I made sure my part of the rent and utilities were taken care of, AND I gave a decent amount of money, gifts, and trips. SO ITS NOT LIKE IM NOT TAKING CARE OF MY AFFAIRS. I just ended up here due to injury and a twist of fate. As far as me being 30 and not as close to my end goal as i want, In my early 20's my mother went through a horrible divorce, my brothers did not step up and left me to take care of my mom financially for a number of years until she was able to get on her feet.
My goals are to have a chain of production companies that help artist bridge the gap to the industry. I do great work and take pride in it so I know my success is around the corner.
You know its so sad to see a lot of BLACK Women not put the faith in there BLACK man. This is probably why there are a lot of single BLACK women (over half). A strong black man wants a woman to believe in him no matter what. If a jewish man says he wants to fly to the moon using bird feathers his wife will help him pluck the bird no questions, same for hindu, chinese, and every other ethnicity with low divorce rates.......hmmmm I wonder why they have the low divorce rate and high marriage rates. The fact that I am going against the grain to be a black LEGAL business owner deserves merritt in itself, but it is sooooooo troubling to me that my OWN people give me the hardest time. We as people need to stop this crab in a bucket mantality.
One quick story before im done......I heard this story from Hill Harper, and A lot of black women should take NOTES......

There was a black woman in Chicago who worked for a very successful law firm. She was one of the best black lawyers in the Chicago land area. She quickly rose through the ranks of her law firm to become partner. After her promotion she met a man who was still in school and strugling.
She decided to take a chance on this man and BELIEVE in HIM & his dreams and SUPPORT him on the journey of his dreams. She left her JOB at the firm to support her husband. It wasnt easy and she didnt think they were going to make it, but she hung in there to become the FIRST black FIRST LADY, and yes her husband is President Barack Obama. So with that being said YES I CAN.......AND YES I WILL.......BE AN ELITE BLACK BUSINESS PROFFESIONAL.!!!!!
And to my haters Kiss My a$$ and watch me make it to the TOP!!!!!!

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Um. Wow.

 

[cheetarah1980]

Ummm, Michelle wasn't a partner when she met Barack. She was a 1st or 2nd year associate and he was a summer associate going into his third year of law school (i.e. working a concrete plan). Stop using the Obamas as some example of a Black woman who gave a black man with no foreseeable future a chance and it paid off because she supported him all along the way. That's a bastardization of their story and it's insulting to Barack who was already a Columbia University grad and a Harvard student one year from graduation with a job lined up afterward.

I haven't commented in this thread until now. However, the BF's post was just too damn much. The OP never mentioned ANY of the details provided. She simply stated that her BF wanted to produce music videos. All of the ladies said the dream itself wasn't an issue, it was the progress toward the dream. The BF needs to blame the OP, not the black women in this thread who were just stating reality based on the information the OP provided.
If the BF's studio is up and running and making money with a growing client base, but hasn't blown up yet then that's a completely different situation than the idea of a production studio that only exists in someone's mind, which is what the OP led everyone to believe. And yes, she was asked repeatedly what progress was being made toward his goals of owning a production company and she didn't provide not one detail. What do you think the ladies in this thread are gonna say?

 

[sunnieb]

OP, I see you posted his response but you didn't say anything. What are your thoughts?

As cheetarah1980 said, you didn't provide us with all the details so what did you think we would say? From his post, it sounds like he's at least trying so I wish him well. However, he needs to sit down somewhere with that "black women don't support their men" ish. How many of us have or can name plenty of black women who stayed with a sorry black man for years because she wanted to "work with a brotha"?

Anyhoo, good luck to you both.

Sent from my Comet using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[chocolat79]

ITA with the other posters! None of these details were provided. What BF should have done was read the OP first, before ASSUMING he knew the whole story.

 

[cheetarah1980]

You know its so sad to see a lot of BLACK Women not put the faith in there BLACK man. This is probably why there are a lot of single BLACK women (over half). A strong black man wants a woman to believe in him no matter what. If a jewish man says he wants to fly to the moon using bird feathers his wife will help him pluck the bird no questions, same for hindu, chinese, and every other ethnicity with low divorce rates.......hmmmm I wonder why they have the low divorce rate and high marriage rates. The fact that I am going against the grain to be a black LEGAL business owner deserves merritt in itself, but it is sooooooo troubling to me that my OWN people give me the hardest time. We as people need to stop this crab in a bucket mantality.

And one more thing...for the record Rebekah Horowitz and Krishna Patel would NOT back a man without a plan! *********! In fact, Asians and Jews are NOTORIOUS for making sure a man has something more than an idea and some potential going for him. Black women are usually the first in line to "work with a brotha" even when he don't have a pot to piss in and no idea where to find one.
You are NOT going against the grain because there are a bunch of legit, successful black businessmen. It says a lot about you that you perceive someone asking what your plan is and what steps you've taken to progress that plan as giving you a hard time. You should be excited to tell anyone who asks (especially your woman) all about the steps you've taken and plan to take to achieve your dream. What kind of cockamamy wackness would it be for a woman (or ANY person) to just accept a bunch, "I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna..." without seeing ANY, "I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing."
It's not about NOT having faith in a black man. Faith is first based on evidence (yes, check out Hebrews); evidence of past performance that would lead someone to believe in a future that has yet to happen. Too many black women are in some $hit right now because they put BLIND faith into a black man that wasn't proving jack (just had a bunch of dreams and "potential" with no foreseeable way of realizing a damn thing). And YOU would probably be the first Black man to criticize those women for dealing with a "bum/no good negro/scrub." Oh, but when it's YOU, it's oh so different (given the details the OP originally provided). Give me a freaking break!

 

[chocolat79]

And one more thing...for the record Rebekah Horowitz and Krishna Patel would NOT back a man without a plan! *********! In fact, Asians and Jews are NOTORIOUS for making sure a man has something more than an idea and some potential going for him. Black women are usually the first in line to "work with a brotha" even when he don't have a pot to piss in and no idea where to find one.
You are NOT going against the grain because there are a bunch of legit, successful black businessmen. It says a lot about you that you perceive someone asking what your plan is and what steps you've taken to progress that plan as giving you a hard time. You should be excited to tell anyone who asks (especially your woman) all about the steps you've taken and plan to take to achieve your dream. What kind of cockamamy wackness would it be for a woman (or ANY person) to just accept a bunch, "I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna..." without seeing ANY, "I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing."
It's not about NOT having faith in a black man. Faith is first based on evidence (yes, check out Hebrews); evidence of past performance that would lead someone to believe in a future that has yet to happen. Too many black women are in some $hit right now because they put BLIND faith into a black man that wasn't proving jack (just had a bunch of dreams and "potential" with no foreseeable way of realizing a damn thing). And YOU would probably be the first Black man to criticize those women for dealing with a "bum/no good negro/scrub." Oh, but when it's YOU, it's oh so different (given the details the OP originally provided). Give me a freaking break!

and repeat...........

 

[Imani]

bitter much?

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Hmm ... my mother has always told me that a man should be established (married) by the age of 30 ... I'm willing to extend that age to 35.

ETA: Just saw the boyfriend's response ... how did he find this thread in the first place? (lol) And a man talking about haters at the age of 30 ..

 

[MzLady78]

 

[MzLady78]

OP, I see you posted his response but you didn't say anything. What are your thoughts?

As cheetarah1980 said, you didn't provide us with all the details so what did you think we would say? From his post, it sounds like he's at least trying so I wish him well. However, he needs to sit down somewhere with that "black women don't support their men" ish. How many of us have or can name plenty of black women who stayed with a sorry black man for years because she wanted to "work with a brotha"?

Anyhoo, good luck to you both.


Sent from my Comet using Long Hair Care Forum App

This!!!

I don't know a single Black woman who hasn't been a member of the "Work with a Brotha" club AT LEAST once in their lives, so he can miss me with that.

We're not the ones who posed the question, yet he gonna come in here trying to cuss us out? Boy bye!

 

[SmileyNY]

A man should be established by.... the time I meet him LOL!

Don't get me wrong... I'm all for the ride-or-die, support my man & wait for his potential thing... 5 years ago!

Now, I'm in my late 20's. I'm heading towards the partner/start a family phase of my life. I don't have time to wait. I'm doing the damn thing on my end. I expect the same, if not more, from my partner. Some may call it shallow

I call it practical

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

First off let me give you a background on me, Im a United States Army Vet, I have a commercial drivers license CLASS A, and I am a certified broadband technition (So I can ALWAYS FIND A JOB).

"Jack of all trades, master of none" popped into my head ... what about y'all?

 

[Amcd]

OP's boyfriend, if you read the thread closely you will see that your girlfriend was asked many times what you were doing to achieve your goal. She never shared all of the info that you shared. Don't be mad at us, take up your concerns with her because she still has questions about your potential even with the action you have taken.

 

[Rastafarai]

ok so I was on my gf comp and this page was up......so I read some post and came accross this one. First off I must say f&(k each and everyone of you that said I am on a pipe dream. You never once asked what I (the bf) have done to this point to pursue my dream, all yall did was assume, we knows what happens when that happens.
First off let me give you a background on me, Im a United States Army Vet, I have a commercial drivers license CLASS A, and I am a certified broadband technition (So I can ALWAYS FIND A JOB). I worked in an entry level position for a fortune 500 utility company, and I was unionized so I had some seniority. It was an entry level position ($30k range) so I was not balling but on the way to it. I had my own house, car, and a job with advancment opportunity. I injured myself while I was at work on city property. I injured my back and tore my shoulder up pretty bad and needed surgury. I have not been able to work due to the advice of my lawyer and the ongoing lawsuits. Im not one to sit back and do nothing, so while i was in overwhelming amounts of pain I STARTED my production company (which was never supported by my gf). I had a 1000 sq ft studio that facilitated video and recording productions, that I opened with an associate. I put in all the work and paid all the bills to find my business partner cleans the studio out of ALL the equiptment with out telling me. I had to close up shop so I could repurchase all of my equiptment, tens of thousands of dollars worth. Which I did, and actually replaced it with better equiptment. While I was doing so I made sure my part of the rent and utilities were taken care of, AND I gave a decent amount of money, gifts, and trips. SO ITS NOT LIKE IM NOT TAKING CARE OF MY AFFAIRS. I just ended up here due to injury and a twist of fate. As far as me being 30 and not as close to my end goal as i want, In my early 20's my mother went through a horrible divorce, my brothers did not step up and left me to take care of my mom financially for a number of years until she was able to get on her feet.
My goals are to have a chain of production companies that help artist bridge the gap to the industry. I do great work and take pride in it so I know my success is around the corner.
You know its so sad to see a lot of BLACK Women not put the faith in there BLACK man. This is probably why there are a lot of single BLACK women (over half). A strong black man wants a woman to believe in him no matter what. If a jewish man says he wants to fly to the moon using bird feathers his wife will help him pluck the bird no questions, same for hindu, chinese, and every other ethnicity with low divorce rates.......hmmmm I wonder why they have the low divorce rate and high marriage rates. The fact that I am going against the grain to be a black LEGAL business owner deserves merritt in itself, but it is sooooooo troubling to me that my OWN people give me the hardest time. We as people need to stop this crab in a bucket mantality.
One quick story before im done......I heard this story from Hill Harper, and A lot of black women should take NOTES......

There was a black woman in Chicago who worked for a very successful law firm. She was one of the best black lawyers in the Chicago land area. She quickly rose through the ranks of her law firm to become partner. After her promotion she met a man who was still in school and strugling.
She decided to take a chance on this man and BELIEVE in HIM & his dreams and SUPPORT him on the journey of his dreams. She left her JOB at the firm to support her husband. It wasnt easy and she didnt think they were going to make it, but she hung in there to become the FIRST black FIRST LADY, and yes her husband is President Barack Obama. So with that being said YES I CAN.......AND YES I WILL.......BE AN ELITE BLACK BUSINESS PROFFESIONAL.!!!!!
And to my haters Kiss My a$$ and watch me make it to the TOP!!!!!!

Quoted for authenticity. This is gonna get ugly.

 

[Rastafarai]

To OP's boyfriend:

Your girlfriend meant no harm. She loves you and wants to stand by your side, however, like any woman, irrespective of race, she wants to make sure her man can be both a good provider and protector for not only herself but her future offspring. She is not suggesting nor did she ever suggest that you cannot make it, however, she's concerned and wants to know how you intend to reach one step closer to your goals a month, 6 months, 1 year, etc. from now.

I am certain if you have a plan and shared it with her, she won't be seeking advice from her online sisters on this forum. Please do not take your anger out on her. She is deserving to know when and how you intend to "make it to the top".

 

[CarmelCupcake]

Oh lord!! How embarassing!!!!!!!!! words of wisdom to people who post relationship threads----please keep it out of your boyfriend's reach!! But yea, i should have added the other details so that was my fault. However, im just merely concerned about my future and my children's future. It's not that i don't have faith in him, i just want to make sure everything falls into place correctly. He says that black women are always after a man's money. That is so not fair. I know many women, regardless of race, who are gold diggers. It's really a slap in the face to be told by your own boyfriend that black women are money hungry and that black women are this and that when you are a black woman yourelf.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

That's his own insecurity talking. If he feels that way about black women, he has options.

On the other hand, if he does indeed have his studio up and running, what is it that is still making you think he's not serious about making it work, or that he won't be able to make a living doing this?

 

[Rastafarai]

Oh lord!! words of wisdom to people who post relationship threads----please keep it out of other's reach!! But yea, i should have added the other details so that was my fault. However, im just merely concerned about my future and my children's future. It's not that i don't have faith in him, i just want to make sure everything falls into place correctly. He says that black women are always after a man's money. That is so not fair. I know many women, regardless of race, who are gold diggers. It's really a slap in the face to be told by your own boyfriend that black women are money hungry and that black women are this and that when you are a black woman yourelf.

Nevermind. Do you, OP.

 

[MzLady78]

Oh lord!! words of wisdom to people who post relationship threads----please keep it out of other's reach!! But yea, i should have added the other details so that was my fault. However, im just merely concerned about my future and my children's future. It's not that i don't have faith in him, i just want to make sure everything falls into place correctly. He says that black women are always after a man's money. That is so not fair. I know many women, regardless of race, who are gold diggers. It's really a slap in the face to be told by your own boyfriend that black women are money hungry and that black women are this and that when you are a black woman yourelf.

I have yet to come across a brotha with any "gold" to be "diggin" for. Real talk. What makes us gold diggers? Because we expect them to pay when they take us out on dates? Because we want men who are financially secure and would be able to provide for us and any future children we might have? Ugh, whatever...

I really don't know how or why some of the women who post this forum put up with these men who have such negative views of Black women. It's becoming way too common over here.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

That's his own insecurity talking. If he feels that way about black women, he has options.

On the other hand, if he does indeed have his studio up and running, what is it that is still making you think he's not serious about making it work, or that he won't be able to make a living doing this?

Well he doesn't have it currently. My concern is that when i ask him what his plan is, he gets upset.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

To OP's boyfriend:

Your girlfriend meant no harm. She loves you and wants to stand by your side, however, like any woman, irrespective of race, she wants to make sure her man can be both a good provider and protector for not only herself but her future offspring. She is not suggesting nor did she ever suggest that you cannot make it, however, she's concerned and wants to know how you intend to reach one step closer to your goals a month, 6 months, 1 year, etc. from now.

I am certain if you have a plan and shared it with her, she won't be seeking advice from her online sisters on this forum. Please do not take your anger out on her. She is deserving to know when and how you intend to "make it to the top".

Thank you. I appreciate your response Rastafarian. This describes everything. As his mate, I simply wanted to know how he intended to reach his goals.

 

[MzLady78]

Thank you. I appreciate your response Rastafarian. This describes everything. As his mate, I simply wanted to know how he intended to reach his goals.

And as such, you deserve an answer. The fact that such a simple and fair question results in these tirades is ridiculous.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

Well he doesn't have it currently. My concern is that when i ask him what his plan is, he gets upset.

Oh ok, so he was just trying to make his story sound good for the LHCF crew

I'd go ahead and leave him alone, but that's me. He sounds quite immature.

 

[chocolat79]

I have yet to come across a brotha with any "gold" to be "diggin" for. Real talk. What makes us gold diggers? Because we expect them to pay when they take us out on dates? Because we want men who are financially secure and would be able to provide for us and any future children we might have? Ugh, whatever...

I really don't know or why some of the women who post this forum put up with these men who have such negative views of Black women. It's becoming way too common over here.

This! Show me some eligible brothers with gold, besides their teeth! $50K per year is NOT gold.

That's always a funny comment to me, because last time I checked there were more BW enrolled in college and there are PLENTY of BW in positions of power and responsibility. Let BM tell it, BW the only ones getting the jobs anyway, so what gold? If anything, THEY'RE the golddiggers. I detest that golddigger comment with a passion because the ones always saying that NEVER have any gold to speak of, so who are they even referring to?

*********!

ETA: Woosahh! I done got my blood pressure up.
Sorry OP, good luck with this dude!

 

[MzLady78]

This! Show me some eligible brothers with gold, besides their teeth! $50K per year is NOT gold.

That's always a funny comment to me, because last time I checked there were more BW enrolled in college and there are PLENTY of BW in positions of power and responsibility. Let BM tell it, BW the only ones getting the jobs anyway, so what gold? If anything, THEY'RE the golddiggers. I detest that golddigger comment with a passion because the ones always saying that NEVER have any gold to speak of, so who are they even referring to?

*********!

ETA: Woosahh! I done got my blood pressure up.
Sorry OP, good luck with this dude!

Let the church say "Amen"!!!

 

[CarmelCupcake]

Oh lord!! words of wisdom to people who post relationship threads----please keep it out of other's reach!! But yea, i should have added the other details so that was my fault. However, im just merely concerned about my future and my children's future. It's not that i don't have faith in him, i just want to make sure everything falls into place correctly. He says that black women are always after a man's money. That is so not fair. I know many women, regardless of race, who are gold diggers. It's really a slap in the face to be told by your own boyfriend that black women are money hungry and that black women are this and that when you are a black woman yourelf.

Not to mention, if black women are after money so much, why is it that black men in interracial relationships statistically make more money than black men who are married to black women.