Would you date a man with no college education?
- Thread starter petiteNunique
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qchelle
Well-Known Member
Girrrrrrrl you beat me to it! What next OP?
"Would you date a man who used to be a woman?"
Girl, cut him lose
theAlist
Well-Known Member
I know a couple of wealthy black men that don't have a college degree. They've never had a problem with college educated women hunting them down for dates 
. But I guess this argument is null and void when we bring up black men with money.
So, to answer the question, yes I would date a man without a college degree, if he had/has a plan.
. But I guess this argument is null and void when we bring up black men with money. So, to answer the question, yes I would date a man without a college degree, if he had/has a plan.
TamedTresses
Well-Known Member
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
I know a couple of wealthy black men that don't have a college degree. They've never had a problem with college educated women hunting them down for dates
So, to answer the question, yes I would date a man without a college degree, if he had/has a plan.
I don't think so because as others pointed out if you have money but are....not intelligent (and that can be with or without school though I have a preference for school) then really I am not interested. I've been approached by unintelligent rich guys and I passed really quickly (examples some stock brokers who are all money, and impulse; a rapper that hunted me down on the streets of l.a basically drove light to light honking and even when I got to my destination pulled over, got out with swagger, and was quick to be turned down...much to his shock, etc).
Really you need a brain because I just don't do stupid. I can't.
It's just not in me. There's not enough money in the world.....But in this case I think the thread was derailed because I believe OP may be relating to a particular guy who has his own "issues" besides this one.
LifeafterLHCF
New Member
Well, I met my dh in high school, so I don't think my parents would have let me date a college grad at the time...
However, this question gave me some food for thought. I have a degree, but my dh is currently working on his. He has qualities that are much more important:
- He's responsible - when I got pregnant, he didn't head for the hills. We worked together and took care of our child.
- He's driven - I don't have to motivate him to go after promotions or get a better career. He's doing that all on his own. In his words 'enough is never enough' when it comes to moving up the career ladder and making money.
- He's dependable - when he says he's going to do something, he does it - every time.
As I'm typing this, he's on his computer doing a homework assignment. He is taking his courses back to back so he can complete his degree faster and keep on moving up at work. Again, I didn't push him to get his degree, he's doing this all on his own. Gotta love him!
After saying all that I will say this - if I had to date someone right now, I would not date a man without a degree. Sorry, I'm not in high school anymore.......
Your a blessed lady I wish I could find a man that way..I know find by means of being found..I could deal with a man who doesnt as long as he has the natural motivation..that whats sexy about a man who is driven without me saying a word..
Dposh167
Well-Known Member
SIGH...i currently am dating someone without a college education (well technically he has an associates, but it was from online courses. And i have my own personal opinions about that)
it was definitely a big change cuz i never dated anyone without college education before. I'll be honest, but i kinda did look down at him. Mostly b.c. he was one of those people who had no interest in college after high school. Not that it makes u a bad person, but comparing someone with that mentality to mine (who was raised to fully respect the power of higher education) it was just hard to wrap my head around it. I do notice some differences regarding how we go about certain topics and such. But at the end of the day....he's a terrific guy. Actually he has treated me better than any other guy i ever dated with a degree lol. He wants to attend actual college, but financially its hard. But i respect his desire to do better.
it was definitely a big change cuz i never dated anyone without college education before. I'll be honest, but i kinda did look down at him. Mostly b.c. he was one of those people who had no interest in college after high school. Not that it makes u a bad person, but comparing someone with that mentality to mine (who was raised to fully respect the power of higher education) it was just hard to wrap my head around it. I do notice some differences regarding how we go about certain topics and such. But at the end of the day....he's a terrific guy. Actually he has treated me better than any other guy i ever dated with a degree lol. He wants to attend actual college, but financially its hard. But i respect his desire to do better.
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
meh u have an attitude and a made up mind. Not gonna bother.Actually, no I don't.Why don't you say what you mean?
TamedTresses
Well-Known Member
Funny, I thought you were the one with the attitude...rolling your eyes and all. You said I knew what you meant from your post and I feel the same way about mine. Anyway, have a good night.
Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
I'll take "Things that make you go AWWWW SNAP" for $400 Alex...
greight
Well-Known Member
I don't think so because as others pointed out if you have money but are....not intelligent (and that can be with or without school though I have a preference for school) then really I am not interested. I've been approached by unintelligent rich guys and I passed really quickly (examples some stock brokers who are all money, and impulse; a rapper that hunted me down on the streets of l.a basically drove light to light honking and even when I got to my destination pulled over, got out with swagger, and was quick to be turned down...much to his shock, etc).
Really you need a brain because I just don't do stupid. I can't.
But in this case I think the thread was derailed because I believe OP may be relating to a particular guy who has his own "issues" besides this one.
YEP!
I've dealt with rich guys who are dumb as rocks. There are not enough diamonds in the world... I couldn't imagine spending one day with them, let alone be in a relationship. Granted, I don't want to be with a poor intelligent man with bad credit, but I need some level of discourse and conversation that is beyond the 12th grade.
Plus, I don't know where you all find the men who are intelligent, but haven't attended college (or any schooling beyond high school). I rarely encountered it, and most of those rarities were lazy and didn't want to go to school because it was too much work. They lacked ambition and stayed smoking weed after high school ended.
JollyGal
Well-Known Member
Sure I could date a man without a college education... if he happens to be self made and/or successful in his chosen career.
This is what I'm working towards and the above are my standards
Honestly, I'm not too sure if I would marry a man without a college education... only God knows.
This is what I'm working towards and the above are my standards
Honestly, I'm not too sure if I would marry a man without a college education... only God knows.
it_comes_naturally
Well-Known Member
I'm with a man who doesn't have a college degree. I look way beyond a college degree when I'm choosing a mate. This man treats me like a QUEEN. Just b/c I chose to go to college doesn't make me any better than anyone else. I don't think anyone is beneath me b/c they chose a different route. The smarts/intelligence I have is by the grace of God. He gave us all different talents. Not everyone is smart (keeping it real). Not everyone can "catch on" to the info that is taught in college.
I have a BS degree/work in the medical field and his salary is about $20,000 MORE than mine. I'll be completing a doctorate degree and based on what his boss is in the process of putting in writing, his new position will pay 6 FIGURES (plus bonuses) just like my new career, BUT I had to go thru blood, sweat, and tears in graduate school.
So, yeah, intellectual conversation is nice and all, but at the end of the day money pays the bills and love conquers all (right?). So I don't care if you have a college degree or not, as long as you are gainfully employed, can handle the bills of the household, and treat me well.
I have a BS degree/work in the medical field and his salary is about $20,000 MORE than mine. I'll be completing a doctorate degree and based on what his boss is in the process of putting in writing, his new position will pay 6 FIGURES (plus bonuses) just like my new career, BUT I had to go thru blood, sweat, and tears in graduate school.
So, yeah, intellectual conversation is nice and all, but at the end of the day money pays the bills and love conquers all (right?). So I don't care if you have a college degree or not, as long as you are gainfully employed, can handle the bills of the household, and treat me well.
ebonylocs
New Member
Depends on what else he has going for him. I am attracted to men who are:
intelligent
humorous, communicative and affectionate
ambitious and hardworking
competent
accomplished and successful (this is a requirement now that I'm older, but may not have been if I was 20 y-o and could "grow with" someone.)
If a guy has all of that and no college degree, I would definitely date him.
intelligent
humorous, communicative and affectionate
ambitious and hardworking
competent
accomplished and successful (this is a requirement now that I'm older, but may not have been if I was 20 y-o and could "grow with" someone.)
If a guy has all of that and no college degree, I would definitely date him.
ambergirl
Well-Known Member
You are so wrong!
Po thing...we may never hear from her again...
This must be "why are you still with that trifling man" day because old threads about some serious nonsense are popping up like popcorn.
Do you not require intellectual conversation from men you date?
theAlist
Well-Known Member
I'm not understanding this assumption that if a guy doesn't have a college degree then he's not intelligent. And it's all where you look. If you truly believe that all men without a college degree are lazy weed smokers or rappers, then of course that's all you are going to see. :kanyeshrug:
My experience has been different. And the wealthy guys I mentioned above had a plan, started a business and worked their way up. Most 24 y/o's are struggling right now out of college...they are set. I think that takes some type of intelligence. Degree or not.
My experience has been different. And the wealthy guys I mentioned above had a plan, started a business and worked their way up. Most 24 y/o's are struggling right now out of college...they are set. I think that takes some type of intelligence. Degree or not.
SUPER SWEET
Well-Known Member
Sure have and would do it again. And a college degree does not ensure class, world experience, and mental capacity. I see soooooooooo many college degree people that are just ghetto,class-less and ignorant.
blackmaven
Anything Is Possible
Yes, He better be a master of the English language no Ebonics
arosieworld
Thanks 4 our nail *****!
Absolutely! I know more broke graduates who act entitled to the best jobs in the world. I just want a man that will support his family no matter what it takes....
it_comes_naturally
Well-Known Member
Yeah, but they don't need a college degree for that. I've worked with alot of ppl w/college degrees and I've wondered how alot of them got thru school. So I see that going to college doesn't necessarily mean a person can carry on an intellectual conversation.
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
@ the red - Actually, the global economy is becoming such that college betta be for everyone who can go . . . soon it will be impossible to earn a living wage with out. (I'm excepting trades where people build businesses around skills like carpentry, plumbing, etc. But even to get ahead not only do you need some sort of higher education - i.e., trade school.) Despite what I just said . . .
@ the blue - I never thought of college as merely a means to an end . . . and I'm actually a little disturbed that it often get boiled down to just "go to school, get a good job." Yeah, sure, Oprah, Bill Gates, Tiger Woods, and others dropped out of college and went on to be wildly successful. Yes, you've got to learn skills that will serve you once you enter the marketplace. But at the same time, take a philosophy class . . . or try a new language . . . something that you may not "use" in the "real world" that broadens your mind. (Yes, I am all about the liberal arts education.) Personally I believe in higher education as an end in and of itself . . . but then again I'm a nerd and I've always loved learning . . . still do. *shrug*
THIS!!!!
AND THIS!!!
Ooooooh. Another "any man is better than no man" string of threads, eh?
When will WE learn?
TamedTresses
Well-Known Member
No one thing will ever be for everyone. Higher education is valuable, but it is not a requirement, thus making it an option. It may be disturbing to hear "go to school, get a good job", but that is the dream that is sold to us from a young age. There are many people who are successful without a college degree besides Oprah and Bill Gates. There are also many college graduates who are unsuccessful.
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
Well, I met my dh in high school, so I don't think my parents would have let me date a college grad at the time...
However, this question gave me some food for thought. I have a degree, but my dh is currently working on his. He has qualities that are much more important:
As I'm typing this, he's on his computer doing a homework assignment. He is taking his courses back to back so he can complete his degree faster and keep on moving up at work. Again, I didn't push him to get his degree, he's doing this all on his own. Gotta love him!
- He's responsible - when I got pregnant, he didn't head for the hills. We worked together and took care of our child.
- He's driven - I don't have to motivate him to go after promotions or get a better career. He's doing that all on his own. In his words 'enough is never enough' when it comes to moving up the career ladder and making money.
- He's dependable - when he says he's going to do something, he does it - every time.
After saying all that I will say this - if I had to date someone right now, I would not date a man without a degree. Sorry, I'm not in high school anymore.......
But, see, it's those QUALITIES that have led him back to school. I think for a lot of women the degree is a sort-of proxy test . . . if a man has a degree you know that at least he has the gumption to accomplish something and put his nose to the grindstone. Now, if a person sleeps through all of their classes and stay high and parties all while they're in college, they will either not finish . . . or their "degree in name only" will manifest itself in the way they treat other aspects of their lives, i.e., the "educated fool" argument folks seem to be getting at . . . .
Reading this post made me think of something else - sometimes I think it can depend on the industry a person is in as well. As foul as this may sound, but the same way that men in certain fields (sports, entertainment, etc.) want to make sure they have a dime-piece on their arm, I can see how for a woman who works in a prestigious field that it might be important to have a partner who is able to fit into that environment . . . ESPECIALLY as a black woman. In my work setting it's not unusual to have the "where are you from/where do you work/where did you go to school" conversation within 5 minutes of meeting someone. And, I actually do have a co-worker, who is a sista with a Master's Degree . . . took up with a dude with no degree who sells handbags on the corner (and has been in prison
) I cannot tell you how much her status in the office plummeted after she started bringing him around the office. It's actually quite infuriating (and illegal!) to do so, but the management looks at and treats her totally differently now . . . and she knows it And here's the kicker - he actually is a decent guy. Nice looking, treats her well, but yeah . . . his "status" (or lack thereof) has cost her professionally. So that's one aspect of wanting to be with degreed person if you have a degree. Then, there's also the question of dealing with jealousy and feelings of inferiority. One of my friends had an ex who was a college dropout and he refused to hang around her friends because he thought we were all lawyers. And, trust, we do not sit around talking about the theories of Kant all day so it wasn't like we would be having these high brow conversations that he couldn't participate in. We weren't even talking "proper" - we had slang and ebonics all over the place. But, he just felt intimidated. Needless to say, they broke up.Even though I also pointed to Bill Gates as an example, we have to remember - he dropped out of Harvard . . . because he had a genius product that he wanted to focus on . . . not to sit at home in mom's basement to play videogames and shop for sneakers
(BTW, I think he also came from an affluent family . . . so "dropping out" for him was probably a much different story than WeeBay from around the corna.)I guess that's what it really boils down to . . . are you not going to college because you have something else in mind that you're passionate about that you want to focus on? Or, are you just being lazy? I think a lot of people conflate "not going to college" with laziness. While laziness may be the issue for some, I'm certain it's not true for all.
I have to say, though, that this whole conversation reminds me of when I was applying to college. I remember this pack of girls saw me with my applications and shrugged it off saying, "Ugh. That's just too much!" Mmmkay. And that's why you now work at Burger King.
*shrug*
pisceschica
Well-Known Member
Generally speaking no I would not date a guy without a college degree. In my own personal experience (generally speaking) minorities without education past high school didn't provide very in depth, intellectual conversations. No that they are dumb but they are not as well rounded as someone that edperienced gen Ed in initial years of UG.
But as we all know it's not a measure of intelligence because there are some dumb people with degrees.
I hope to marry someone that is black or at least mixed with black. And most know minorities with at least a college degree stand a better chance for career success than minorities without.
A man with education level past UG is a plus for me not manditory. I have seen plenty of examples of people who complete masters and/or phds and are nit doing as well as some people in fields where a bachelor's and quality experience are more than enough to make a fret living.
But as we all know it's not a measure of intelligence because there are some dumb people with degrees.
I hope to marry someone that is black or at least mixed with black. And most know minorities with at least a college degree stand a better chance for career success than minorities without.
A man with education level past UG is a plus for me not manditory. I have seen plenty of examples of people who complete masters and/or phds and are nit doing as well as some people in fields where a bachelor's and quality experience are more than enough to make a fret living.
Guitarhero
New Member
He'd have to be that rare individual who is a self-taught philosopher, traveled polyglot and genuinely interesting soul with increasing assets. A go-getter. Otherwise, what's to talk about?
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